My boss intercepted me as soon as I walked in, led me into his office where the head of HR was already seated and closed the door. Oh oh. "Cspatz, you have violated the company internet policy and are terminated effective immediately". The HR person handed me an envelope with my last check, vacation pay, cobra application and other paper work. What I felt like saying, but didn't, was.... "And you just figured this out now?". After all, I had been doing it for over 10 years.
Not to worry. I had a backup plan. A nano second later I was retired. While I was always aware of how much savings I had and while I figured it was enough I never actually figured out what it would translate to if reinvested in income producing funds. Wow! I have more money in retirement than when I was working. Significantly more. IF I had known that I would have retired last year.
A few days later I called the head of HR about transferring my 401K money to my IRA. We always were friendly. At the end of the conversation I said to her "I hope you don't think I am embarrassed or in any way ashamed because I am not. I did what I did and would do it again. I have no problem with it. The company did. Now I will be doing it from my ipad while sacked out on the couch". And so I am.....
My boss intercepted me as soon as I walked in, led me into his office where the head of HR was already seated and closed the door. Oh oh. "Cspatz, you have violated the company internet policy and are terminated effective immediately". The HR person handed me an envelope with my last check, vacation pay, cobra application and other paper work. What I felt like saying, but didn't, was.... "And you just figured this out now?". After all, I had been doing it for over 10 years.
Not to worry. I had a backup plan. A nano second later I was retired. While I was always aware of how much savings I had and while I figured it was enough I never actually figured out what it would translate to if reinvested in income producing funds. Wow! I have more money in retirement than when I was working. Significantly more. IF I had known that I would have retired last year.
A few days later I called the head of HR about transferring my 401K money to my IRA. We always were friendly. At the end of the conversation I said to her "I hope you don't think I am embarrassed or in any way ashamed because I am not. I did what I did and would do it again. I have no problem with it. The company did. Now I will be doing it from my ipad while sacked out on the couch". And so I am.....
You are aware that not everyone that posts here posts from a place where prostitution is illegal don't you?
If I recall correctly it's legal in more countries than it's not and the numbers get even better when you look at that's considered illegal in some of the countries.
As others pointed out, the post was also a joke.
He or she would get fired if they weren't here all day.
Give us a break. You fucked up and your trying to spin doctor it to make it seem that you got the last laugh. Your lucky that you only got fired and no legal action was taken. Stupid stupid STUPID.
I bet they were wanting to cut back employees anyway and used that as an excuse. They won't like you taking your retirement lump sum if you do. There is life after working for Co. XYZ. You will have more money after retirement probably than you had working. I did double. I was laid off after having open heart surgery. I screwed them back and took a 6 month sick leave 2 weeks before last day. They were cutting back and I was grey headed and not there to complain. Looked into suing for age discrimination but just seemed like too much trouble for the benefit.
Why company's do employees the way they do for a minor infraction which I think you did. A warning would have stopped it. I was a good employee and you probably were too. They were looking for a good excuse to cut back. Don't be bitter the company gave you every thing you have and just enjoy your retirement. A few asshole bosses don't always do the best for their co.. Some try to be the God almighty of the firm. Hobby on. You can hobby full time now.
Especially that incredibly clueless statement "the company gave you everything you have" What a fucking load of crap. The OP might have been a lousy employee, but the company doesn't "give" shit. You make a trade, your labor for a certain amount of money in return, no one is GIVING anyone anything
35 yrs. with S&P 500 co.. Seen it all and fired some too. I don't call the man a bad employee when I don't know. Sometimes the one that looks at the dirty pictures might out perform all the rest. No one knew for 10 years. Most all employees spend less than 50 % or less of their time actually working. I'm in business to make a buck not preach to the congregation. Just try and take my Komatsu tractor naked lady calendar away from me with their little lemons.
Sorry but the company could be sued for tens of thousands in a hostile work place suet. Not to mention failure to be doing what ever he was paid to do. Minor my ass. He was a liability.
Second he was paid for his time and services. While it appears he never held up his end and was little more than a liability, nothing was given him. He was paid for his time, nothing more, nothing less.
but on this subject, you are a humorless fuck who happens to be correct.
I too would have bounced his ass out the door, but as I already said "nothing was given to him" it sounds like the company may have gotten a lousy deal by hiring him, but it still was hardly "given" to him.
Did you ever work? No wonder the boss was pissed off!
Very rarely. That's why I was on the internet all day. TER wasn't the half of it. I worked in a Kafkaesque world.
...that you shouldn't have used the same name with your boss as your TER handle?
Yes, we cover this on day one at JDU
But if I fired myself, then what the fuck would I do? lol
and yes, if I found out someone on my payroll was spending all his time on TER, while on "my dime" you're damn right I would fire him.
I'm sure you'd encourage a "her" to post all phucking day.
I wanted my "boss" to fire me, so instead I just filed a sexual harassment suit against the asswipe, got paid for doing nothing and then filed for unemployment.
Now I'm still working for that POS, but that Dr Who knows just who is running the show!!
If someone on my team was/is spending all phucking day on TER...SHE better have a phucking good reason. And I'm sure a BBBJCIMNQNS would solve any employment related issues.
and yes, if I found out someone on my payroll was spending all his time on TER, while on "my dime" you're damn right I would fire him.
Of course, that fucking fucker spends all his time on TER too!
So yes, most likely it was junior high. lol
I don't take my employees exposing me to hostile work place law suits kindly. Then add in the time I would be paying for you are wasting. Yeah, you would be toast. Sounds like firing you was a great move by your employer. Addition by subtraction. I am sure you won't be missed.
I love having those sexual harassment suits. This is my attorney...your loss.
Not to use your jobs wifi for illegal activities.I don't even use my hotels WiFi to post ads.Everything is tracked.I'm shocked they took that long to catch you.I hope everything works out for you
He was thankful. When one of females came in the office he closed the browser. He was into strip clubs too. He always told us do a good job so I can give you a bonus for a hooker all night.
Sleeping late, afternoon naps and complete time flexibility when playing. Most providers love a client who can meet anytime. Life's good.
It's difficult for me to relate to such cavalier sentiments regarding your job. Here's hoping that as many people will learn from your example about what not to do in their respective profession.
But if you're happy, I suppose that's all that matters. Live and let live. However, let's hope life circumstances never call for you having to reenter the workforce. If they should, you have my preemptive sympathies.
and semi-retired...so I could look at this shit all day. I turned on a few of my more "liberated" clients to this and they love it. Especially when we plan our Vegas trips...They're like kids getting ready for Disneyland....lol
One find you as quickly as possible once thay decided to fire you. Thay pay you last check on payday same as everyone else. Cobra application is mail to you though you company insurance companty. There a 30 day termination requirements to get 401k money but yes do it and get a check made out to the IRA choice of yours. I look t ter at work on my prepaid metro phone no there will never flag me.
My boss intercepted me as soon as I walked in, led me into his office where the head of HR was already seated and closed the door. Oh oh. "Cspatz, you have violated the company internet policy and are terminated effective immediately". The HR person handed me an envelope with my last check, vacation pay, cobra application and other paper work. What I felt like saying, but didn't, was.... "And you just figured this out now?". After all, I had been doing it for over 10 years.
Not to worry. I had a backup plan. A nano second later I was retired. While I was always aware of how much savings I had and while I figured it was enough I never actually figured out what it would translate to if reinvested in income producing funds. Wow! I have more money in retirement than when I was working. Significantly more. IF I had known that I would have retired last year.
A few days later I called the head of HR about transferring my 401K money to my IRA. We always were friendly. At the end of the conversation I said to her "I hope you don't think I am embarrassed or in any way ashamed because I am not. I did what I did and would do it again. I have no problem with it. The company did. Now I will be doing it from my ipad while sacked out on the couch". And so I am.....
The jig is up ripmany, how do you manage to misspell the word "companty" two words after you spelled "company" correctly? Then correctly spell "terminated effective immediately"? That's worth like a triple points if you're playing Scrabble or something. Also, I'm not surprised that you've been fired a lot, what's more surprising is that you were ever hired. Anywhere, like ever in life. You gotta be some kind of troll, because no one is that damn illiterate.
Anywho, to the OPs thread. It may have taken HR some time to track down exactly who and where the illegal Internet activity was coming from, but 10 years? Damn! I just turn off the wifi and play on TER with my smartphone. I wouldn't trust any wi-fi connection because anything can be tracked. But from the sound of it you're better off in retirement anyways. Good luck!
My boss intercepted me as soon as I walked in, led me into his office where the head of HR was already seated and closed the door. Oh oh. "Cspatz, you have violated the company internet policy and are terminated effective immediately". The HR person handed me an envelope with my last check, vacation pay, cobra application and other paper work. What I felt like saying, but didn't, was.... "And you just figured this out now?". After all, I had been doing it for over 10 years.
Not to worry. I had a backup plan. A nano second later I was retired. While I was always aware of how much savings I had and while I figured it was enough I never actually figured out what it would translate to if reinvested in income producing funds. Wow! I have more money in retirement than when I was working. Significantly more. IF I had known that I would have retired last year.
A few days later I called the head of HR about transferring my 401K money to my IRA. We always were friendly. At the end of the conversation I said to her "I hope you don't think I am embarrassed or in any way ashamed because I am not. I did what I did and would do it again. I have no problem with it. The company did. Now I will be doing it from my ipad while sacked out on the couch". And so I am.....
And every employee should know that their employer can (and likely does) track all traffic through their network, and everything done on a company computer.
The only reason it took ten years is probably because this company just recently started tracking misuse of their computers and network.
Any company with an IT dept. worth its salt should probably just invest in readily available software for their firewall to block sites they view as inappropriate, rather than going through all of the HR hassles in tracking these things and firing people.
Obama saved your 401K? Where would you be if he listened to the other side or if he was a republican?
Everyone cruises sites at work 
I spent 6 months working for a government rehab department and about 10 hours a week were spent trading CFD contracts on the stock market on a platform I had open all day on my computer and would just minimise it when someone came in my office, and another 10 hours were spent looking for an apartment to buy on real estate websites. I miss those days of getting paid to not do very much )
...I didn't go into how and why I was able to cruise the internet all day as that part is specific to the Kafkaesque world I worked in and would bore you. Not a problem if I appear to be a stupid deadbeat ripping off his employer. I also streamed plenty of video as well. Not porn, mostly youtube. I was hiding nothing from anyone. My boss knew all along I was streaming and surfing - how the fuck could he not - he just didn't care. Here is the kicker people - I worked in IT!
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Management is putting all types of filters to look for inappropriate websites. I can remember it started happening the mid 90's. I use to wait until the evening to download porn videos. I would cause the company internet to slow to a grind. One place I worked at the manager told me it was a good thing I was on the wall street journal and not porn sites.
Today you can use the 4G connection on your smart phone to get to sites like TER.
I don't spend too much time on porn sites while at work, but I do surf the web on occasion to clear my mind.
What I've done is set up my home computer to run radmin (remote admininstrator, from Famatech.) Basically my home screen is delivered to my work PC, the keyboard and mouse work like normal (not sound, though.)
The link is encrypted, so as far as IT is concerned I connect to my home IP address only and they can't see the traffic unless they stand behind me and watch the screen while I do stuff on my home PC.
I also have an out, because I do some of my work from my home PC, so mere connection showing up to IT is to be expected.
There are times on the job where the hobby intersects. But I never utilize company resources in that pursuit...I have a cell phone for that which is my personal property, and I have contacted many ladies during business hours to arrange and confirm dates, or just talk, have had a few call during meetings, and a number of times had ladies visit me at my hotel on business trips. Once, had to deal with multiple crises at work the morning after an overnight where I had to call in for permission to work from home on an unscheduled basis instead of being in the office as I should have been. I was successful in dealing with that despite being almost 200 miles, and two states away! Plus that, the lady I was with f*cked my balls off afterward! My boss commented the next day that he wasn't happy about my absence that day, but since we met met our deliverables on time, and pleased our clients, Ok, but, try not to do that again! But never would I consider putting myself or my company at risk by using their tech resources as carelessly as you purportedly did.
To be honest, I would fire anyone who got caught as you did. Only once during my 35 year career have I ever had to fire someone for something like that, for theft of company property, and insubordination when she was caught. She received no severance, and HR denied unemployment, which the state upheld. One of the more painful moments during my career, but the trick is...don't get caught! Rule #1 in the game...