Remember, we as providers are paid for the experience of our companionship. a civvie woman isn't there solely for your enjoyment and you will need to put in a lot more work. She's not going to preform on cue whenever you want. I don't think we set the bar too high, but the saying goes, you get what you pay for...

I have zero problems hopping into the sack with a woman I have known for all of about 10 seconds, and I enjoy it immensely. but I will say there is a certain "something" about having sex with a woman that is not getting paid for it.

I recently got a 28 year old into my bed without "paying for it" and it was quite honestly some of the best sex I have had in years. Do I plan on giving up hookers??? Hell fucking no, but I can say with absolute certainty I am not ruined for the civvie world, but my standards are most likely unrealistically high for a guy of my "advanced age". lol

The transaction that is presented when I meet someone I want to establish a pair bond is also a giving in return for what is gained. She's beautiful, smart, well-adjusted and happy, honest, all the qualities that are important to me and to some extent that means that sharing sex with her fills me with profound feelings that has nothing to do with the quality of her BBBJ or the number of cups I have before nodding off to peaceful sleep. At any point in my life, however, I am imperfect and will need to give up or take on a few things. So if she doesn't ask me, I ask myself, What are willing to give to have this woman in your life?

So...OTOH...cash on the barrel head is a more simple transaction, and the range of women to choose from is quite large. They all seem to workout regularly, eat well, and keep themselves gorgeous for their clients. Many, IMO, rank among the most "beautiful" women in the world. Maybe a bit of the Village Venus effect to that last part, but y'all know what I mean.

So despite all this difference, when it comes right down to it, either way, it's just me bring what my world has made of me up to a woman who shares what her world has made of her and we let our energies and needs intermingle for awhile. It's a good thing to experience, another person.

I'll go against the grain here and say that civie sex can be the best.  The reason is one of ego.  In civie sex, the gal WANTS to have sex with you, rather than merely being interested in the money.  You don't have to be a rocket surgeon to see which one of those is the bigger ego boost.   When I'mm pounding away, I want to be king of the apes.  It's a lot harder to get that feeling while the meter is running

...and hardly ever looked back; I have stuck to providers almost exclusively for several years now, as you have. Whenever I reconsidered the wisdom of that decision and tried civilian women again, they usually disappointed me and proved that my previous decision to stick to providers was the right thing for me to do, so I just went right back to the hobby.  

Good providers give you much better experiences than civilians, relative to the total amount of time, money, and energy that you expend in order to have those experiences.

Here is a very basic example: there are civilian women that won't give blowjobs, or only do so rarely. If a FS/GFE provider did not have at least some form of blowjob on her menu, how well do you think she would do?

If you're the type of hobbyists who doesn't venture much beyond vanilla sex and value more the companionship aspect then civie experience is better while the bar for sex is roughly equal.

OTH if you're into pushing the limits of sex and wants to explore as much as possible the physical aspect of it then yes the providers set the bar too high for civilian sex to compare. It's only logical how can one compares amateurs against professionals with their extensive training and experience?

When having sex with civilians I tend to hold back because I don't want to risk being labelled a sex maniac or pervert. I also cannot be "all about me" like the way I can with paid professionals.

That’s because there are so many aspects to a relationship beyond sex. Sometimes we get a little otc, but with providers, we generally don’t see any of those other aspects. Occasionally, with long time atfs, a hint of those other aspects comes out. However, just for discussion’s sake, let’s throw out all those other aspects, and center the question strictly on sex.  

Still there are a lot of factors involved, but it all depends on both your sexual wants, and needs. Of course many times the lady’s sexual wants and needs are hidden, as she’s there to simply do her job. But every so often, her wants and needs surface, and you can make a comparison. If her wants and needs match your wants and needs, then the rockets fly, and the bar is set high. If her wants and needs overshadow your wants and needs, then there’s no way you can keep up with her. Those sessions are fun, but only for an hour. Any longer, and you’d have to visit the hospital. Sometimes her wants and needs are well below yours.  

Getting back to when your sexual wants and needs match. Those are the times you wish you could get to know the lady better. Those are the times you feel the huge afterglow on your way home from a session. Those are the times you get so excited to see her days before your session. Those are the ladies with whom you repeat time after time. Those are the times you’re thrilled you get a lunch invitation. And maybe her sensing your compatibility is the very reason for the lunch invitation. For the extra emails. For the extra everything. Of course I would never go beyond her extended boundaries, and seek an outside relationship. I have too much respect for those ladies. But during those times, and there have been several, I’ve often wished we could have met on the outside. But we met on the inside, and that’s the luck of the draw. Those ladies always move on, but I’m truly happy I got to share those extended feelings. I have nothing but sweet memories of them. It’s almost as if they were old girl friends. In fact, it’s better because your atfs simply moved on in their lives without the bitterness of a break up. Yeah, the bar is set too high. Not just for the ladies in your real life, but for the other providers as well

sexpectations

It's called intimacy. When you build that in your civilian relationship the sex can be just as mind blowing, especially when you are connecting on many different levels other than physical attraction. Mental, emotional,  social, and physiological.  Don't rush the sex there.  

I have had some sensational sex with civies,  My most recent civie passion was multi orgasmic, always horny and very sexy. She is a tall beautiful Jamaican lady whose climaxes were earthquake. She was not (in her late forties) very experienced but was up for anything and loved new things.  i was madly in love.
One of my long time civie girl friends loved to be restrained and constantly brought to he edge of climax and then stop until finally she exploded. An added benefit was that she was not only submissive and forever horny but bi and would have girlfriends come over to join us and take part in tormenting her, sitting other face, etc. There were long sex week ends.  
One had had (I am not making this up) just gotten out of prison for killing someone while drunk driving. She spent her years in prison fantasizing about having a man (I became the man) tied, spread eagled while she rode him (Me) over and over and kept him hard for as long as possible while she climaxed over and over. (She was a little too nuts outside the bed room and this was a short "romance.")  
I found friends with benefits were often great sex. There was one really attractive dominant lady who was very demanding, loved to torment me in the most delightful ways, and loved to exhibit me to one or another of her female friends who would also "use" me (Oh not that please.)
Of course these are among a few exceptional ladies from a long and checkered career.  
There were an awful lot of civies to whom I was very attached with whom sex was really nice but who were nothing like these gems; where as in general it was the rare provider who did not provider really good and at times sensational sex.

There are exceptions to the rule.  I've hooked up with a couple providers who turned out to be "cold fish."  And when it comes to sex, my civie ex-wife could compete with any provider out there: fantastic blow jobs, anal, high libido, etc.  If you're going purely civie for your relationships, it's all a matter of figuring out what makes or breaks a relationship for you.  Women are women, whether they're professional or civie.

once you've driven that Ferrari, it's tough to go back to the minivan.

and thank God for them. Certainly not a problem same as a fantastic civvie. Sex is a contemporaneous phenomena... there are just plain old good sessions that I quite enjoy in that they still feel great. Only been a handful that I wish never happened ... pretty  
good over 12 years.  

As for performance and expectations, just go with the flow. Any relationship, be it p4p, fwb or IRL can run its term. Make the best  
out of each encounter ... every one can't be equal, but all should have a happy ending.