TER General Board

See a few other girls while waiting the 90 days, no problem. EOM
DT_lover 188 Reviews 429 reads
posted

Posted By: brendaboobies
I am reading a book by Steve Harvey, Think like a man, act like a lady...  
 He says do not give up the cookie/pussy for 90 days if you want to get a good man.  
   
 I've had some very "interesting" civvie life dating episodes since my divorce last month.  
 I'm just so amused by people in general.  
 I love getting into somebodies mind and really learning from them things about them- but also about myself.  
 A discussion I had with my best friend not too long ago was on the topic of everybody is just fucking everybody these days- no other reason then to get off- NOTHING wrong with that if both want that but I also hear how many people WANT relationships but the sex might keep them with somebody who is just not good for them.  
 It seems MANY people can't stand the people they LOVE to fuck.  
 I thought a relationships that would be built on friendship would have a better chance of being better in the bedroom - because then you care about the person and not just for how much sex they will have with you.  
   
 I fucked my now ex husband the first night we met- the sex was absolutely amazing-and continued to get better as I fell in love with him. If I had waited 90 days, I more than likely would never have made it to the 90 days!!!! That type of sexual chemistry will make you just not think correctly.  
   
 Conversely, I had civvie sex with somebody who I have known longer than 90 days- we click perfectly as people and so I thought the sex was going to be mind blowing- it was the worst sex of my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just terrible!!!!  
   
 so for now, I'm just keeping my cookie for the hobby, I'm not dating until I am back out of this business as I have just accepted men can't handle THEIR woman being a provider and I am OK with that.  
   
 SOOOOO my question for you men,  
 When you are dating - will you wait 90 days to get the cookie if you really find the woman to be outstanding or do you think that is unreasonable?  
 

I am reading a book by Steve Harvey, Think like a man, act like a lady...
He says do not give up the cookie/pussy for 90 days if you want to get a good man.

I've had some very "interesting" civvie life dating episodes since my divorce last month.
I'm just so amused by people in general.
I love getting into somebodies mind and really learning from them things about them- but also about myself.
A discussion I had with my best friend not too long ago was on the topic of everybody is just fucking everybody these days- no other reason then to get off- NOTHING wrong with that if both want that but I also hear how many people WANT relationships but the sex might keep them with somebody who is just not good for them.
It seems MANY people can't stand the people they LOVE to fuck.
I thought a relationships that would be built on friendship would have a better chance of being better in the bedroom - because then you care about the person and not just for how much sex they will have with you.

I fucked my now ex husband the first night we met- the sex was absolutely amazing-and continued to get better as I fell in love with him. If I had waited 90 days, I more than likely would never have made it to the 90 days!!!! That type of sexual chemistry will make you just not think correctly.  

Conversely, I had civvie sex with somebody who I have known longer than 90 days- we click perfectly as people and so I thought the sex was going to be mind blowing- it was the worst sex of my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just terrible!!!!

so for now, I'm just keeping my cookie for the hobby, I'm not dating until I am back out of this business as I have just accepted men can't handle THEIR woman being a provider and I am OK with that.  

SOOOOO my question for you men,  
When you are dating - will you wait 90 days to get the cookie if you really find the woman to be outstanding or do you think that is unreasonable

There is a wonderful civvie woman I have known through emails, texts and phone calls since August last year who very much wants to spend a weekend with me (and yes she knows about my "hobbying"...I think she finds it a bit exciting)...we are still trying to coordinate our live so we can meet and fuck...

she's probably not viewing this as a NSA meeting.  After this kind of time investment, she may have unrealistic expectations that this is more than just a casual fuck, and if you mislead her that its something else, you are going to acquire a stalker, or worse.

Epicurus61341 reads

9 months? Unless one of you is incarcerated there has to be more to this. Good luck.

Well, back before I got married, and back when I was too broke to see escorts more than once a month... now I get laid approx twice a month.  Once w the wife and once w a provider, SO... TECHNICALLY STILL NOT 90 DAYS!

GaGambler390 reads

and most likely we would not be compatible, ESPECIALLY after she found out just how many women I had fucked before her. (try thousands)

I have "waited" for a few women to be "ready" and unfortunately the anticipation made for unrealistic expectations and the real thing could not possibly be as good as the fantasy I had created in my mind.

At this stage in my life, once we start actually "dating" it's either going to happen in the first few dates or it's just not meant to be IMO. Now, if we are simply friends or acquaintances, that is a completely different story, I could be friends with a woman for years and then finally end up in the sack with her, but this whole line of crap about waiting until  "we are ready" is a crock of shit that I won't buy into.

To answer your actual question, nine days? maybe. Ninety? no fucking way.

Posted By: brendaboobies
I am reading a book by Steve Harvey, Think like a man, act like a lady...  
 He says do not give up the cookie/pussy for 90 days if you want to get a good man.  
   
 I've had some very "interesting" civvie life dating episodes since my divorce last month.  
 I'm just so amused by people in general.  
 I love getting into somebodies mind and really learning from them things about them- but also about myself.  
 A discussion I had with my best friend not too long ago was on the topic of everybody is just fucking everybody these days- no other reason then to get off- NOTHING wrong with that if both want that but I also hear how many people WANT relationships but the sex might keep them with somebody who is just not good for them.  
 It seems MANY people can't stand the people they LOVE to fuck.  
 I thought a relationships that would be built on friendship would have a better chance of being better in the bedroom - because then you care about the person and not just for how much sex they will have with you.  
   
 I fucked my now ex husband the first night we met- the sex was absolutely amazing-and continued to get better as I fell in love with him. If I had waited 90 days, I more than likely would never have made it to the 90 days!!!! That type of sexual chemistry will make you just not think correctly.  
   
 Conversely, I had civvie sex with somebody who I have known longer than 90 days- we click perfectly as people and so I thought the sex was going to be mind blowing- it was the worst sex of my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just terrible!!!!  
   
 so for now, I'm just keeping my cookie for the hobby, I'm not dating until I am back out of this business as I have just accepted men can't handle THEIR woman being a provider and I am OK with that.  
   
 SOOOOO my question for you men,  
 When you are dating - will you wait 90 days to get the cookie if you really find the woman to be outstanding or do you think that is unreasonable?  
 

for some odd reason this is the part that jumped out at me as if this was true why would there be so much activity in the hobby.  Free is good.  The reason is I don't think it's true. I don't think it's ever been true. And I don't think it ever will be true, at least in the US of A.  And if it is true, and I'm wrong, in 98% of the cases it becomes true enough after marriage lol.

Posted By: brendaboobies
 A discussion I had with my best friend not too long ago was on the topic of everybody is just fucking everybody these days- no other reason then to get off- NOTHING wrong with that if both want that
But in answer to your question, the best relationships I've been in have been where sex is not the most important thing.  Or the second most important thing.  Definitely in the top 5 though. Maybe the top 3. But waiting a bit for it to be the cherry on top of the right time would be just fine with me because if we're still together in 90 days then the stuff that matters is likely going to keep us on an upward trajectory as opposed to the ever so common wham bam sky rocket, followed by crash and bur

you to say.  Most women have no problem waiting for Christmas to cum.

and funny -- I'm going to steal that line

million of them, but unfortunately, most are not funny.  Sometimes you miss a six-inch putt.  Other times, you get a hole in one.  Lol

minutes to have sex.  Why rush it?  I think it shows a certain amount of respect for the lady.

As GaG says, if you wait longer, then your brain starts creating unrealistic expectations which are sure to lead to a letdown when it finally does happen.  This isn't fair to either one of you.  But I also agree with another poster that sex might not be the most important part of a love relationship.  Proof of this is that most hobbyists are married men, but you don't see them running out and getting divorce so they can marry someone who is better in bed than their wife.

CuriousSort408 reads

Posted By: coeur-de-lion
But I also agree with another poster that sex might not be the most important part of a love relationship.  Proof of this is that most hobbyists are married men, but you don't see them running out and getting divorce so they can marry someone who is better in bed than their wife.  
That's only because it costs to much to get free of the wife.

An old school friend contacted me after many years and we struck up a Platonic and convivial relationship consisting of schmoozing, dining, and an occasional movie.

After about a year however, she asked to have sex.  I sort of knew it would be the end of it, but for some stupid reason I said OK, and sure enough, it ended within a month or so.  The sex sucked too.

I stick to the hobby now, and my wife when we are together.

So, yes, I'd wait 90 days, or 900.  Civie sex is fraught with peril.



-- Modified on 7/6/2016 8:20:54 PM

Fucked my ex the first night. 35 years later I  realized she really didnt like sex.

Are you saying it took you 35 years to realize your wife didn't like sex? Maybe she just didn't like it with YOU. Lol

Could be. Either way sex with her was less than hot. Want her number? Lol

Posted By: atfsearcher
Are you saying it took you 35 years to realize your wife didn't like sex? Maybe she just didn't like it with YOU. Lol

CuriousSort304 reads

Posted By: sympathyforthedevil
Fucked my ex the first night. 35 years later I  realized she really didnt like sex.
Wow...that's my story too.  If I were single and able to date I would never wait more than a couple of dates to have sex with a woman.  Mainly, I don't want to fall in love with someone who sucks in bed.  I first would need to know she is great in bed.  Then if things progress that's fine.  But no way in hell would I ever have anything to do with a woman again if she is not great in bed.   By great I mean she needs to actually like and want sex and have enthusiasm.   Also, I doubt I would ever remarry.  There is no upside to a man getting married.  Live together...sure...married...no way.  Been there done that and it was the dumbest thing I ever did

GaGambler389 reads

I love dating hookers because I immediately get to find out if she is good in the sack.lol

Sex might only be "part" of a relationship, but it is a VERY important part. Any woman who is going to "hold out" for three months before having sex probably doesn't like sex in the first place and who the hell wants to be with a woman who doesn't like sex? Marrying women who don't like sex is the very reason so many guys are here in the first place.

Gambler I know why you date so many hookers.  I am thinking with respect to your personality that you were always into instant gratification.  Even when you where small you used to open your presents as soon as you got them.  I also would hate to see you wait for a bottle of ketchup to start to pour.  It is a direct extension of your personality and I would say at times you might be a bit impulsive as well.  If you were a basketball coach on defense you would force the action and try to get steals instead of playing the board. You also don't want to go through all the prerequisite bullshit that one would go through in a civilian relationship and it is so much easier to satisfy your hedonistic needs than to follow certain rules of interaction with women.   That is why the hobby is taylor made for you.

Posted By: GaGambler
I love dating hookers because I immediately get to find out if she is good in the sack.lol  
   
 Sex might only be "part" of a relationship, but it is a VERY important part. Any woman who is going to "hold out" for three months before having sex probably doesn't like sex in the first place and who the hell wants to be with a woman who doesn't like sex? Marrying women who don't like sex is the very reason so many guys are here in the first place.

...I'd continue with hookers for another none months and just end most of our dates early in the evening.

You wrote that you will not date again until you quit the hobby because men can't handle their women being a provider. That sounds like a convenient excuse, maybe the real reason is that you like getting paid to fuck and you don't want to let a guy fuck you for free

and saw the movie.Didn't care too much for the book I like Steve better when he is doing comedy not telling women how to deal with men.

souls_harbor263 reads

Somewhere between 3 to 6 dates -- which could extend to about 30 days.  We're talking about someone you want to establish a very long term relationship with.  90 days would imply something less direct, and less frequent at the beginning.  Like some case where you know someone and start to hang out occasionally and it sort of organically develops.  But if you are actively dating (say through referrals or dating sites) sex within the first few dates is about the best you can hope to postpone it until the gent walks.  The good ones have options

In my first serious one, I was only hanging out with her at first.  Then, one afternoon, I went over to her place to take her to lunch, and things just exploded.  We never left for lunch, and the relationship lasted for almost three years...  

In the years since then in the civvie arena...three more serious relationships, all but one with ladies I worked with.  Sex occurred when the time was right.  As for more casual encounters, I can recall a couple on business trips with colleagues that were off the charts.  One of those happened with a lady 16 years younger than me.  All I did was have dinner and couple of drinks with her...next thing I knew, I was banging the $hit out her.  She was seeing someone else at the time, but there was a second, third, and a few more times.  But things never advanced beyond that...colleagues at work, occasional fuck buddies over the next year or so.  She later dumped the dude she was seeing.  The other was with a married woman above me in the food chain who happened to be also traveling, though we were on separate trips.  We had known each other for years, and she was always kind of flirty.  We both were staying at the same hotel, and we had dinner together.  As we were parting for the evening, I told her I was heading for my room to have a drink before retiring.  She asked me if I wanted company...certainly.  What started off as a nightcap ended in bed, and she stayed the night.  

Pardon my trip down memory lane, but my experiences with dating and civvie relationships is that there is no timetable.  When the time is right...

I don't know about 90 days but I would wait a little. I slept with my ex husband on the first date. Then I slept with my ex boyfriend on our first date too. You see a trend? lol. Maybe a few weeks or something, maybe, I don't know. If the chemistry is good, then some deep kissing and dry humping probably. I would be honest and just carry some condoms anyway just in case. ;

Depends on the woman and if I think she's worth it. If I had a woman tell me she was going to make me wait 90 days for sex on the first date, unless it was an amazing first date, I would move on.  

I hate the idea of Steve Harvey(or anyone) telling 2 people they don't know that she should wait X amount of days for sex. They should have sex when both parties are comfortable with it. For some, that might be 2 hours, for others it might be 2 years.

Posted By: brendaboobies
I am reading a book by Steve Harvey, Think like a man, act like a lady...  
 He says do not give up the cookie/pussy for 90 days if you want to get a good man.  
   
 I've had some very "interesting" civvie life dating episodes since my divorce last month.  
 I'm just so amused by people in general.  
 I love getting into somebodies mind and really learning from them things about them- but also about myself.  
 A discussion I had with my best friend not too long ago was on the topic of everybody is just fucking everybody these days- no other reason then to get off- NOTHING wrong with that if both want that but I also hear how many people WANT relationships but the sex might keep them with somebody who is just not good for them.  
 It seems MANY people can't stand the people they LOVE to fuck.  
 I thought a relationships that would be built on friendship would have a better chance of being better in the bedroom - because then you care about the person and not just for how much sex they will have with you.  
   
 I fucked my now ex husband the first night we met- the sex was absolutely amazing-and continued to get better as I fell in love with him. If I had waited 90 days, I more than likely would never have made it to the 90 days!!!! That type of sexual chemistry will make you just not think correctly.  
   
 Conversely, I had civvie sex with somebody who I have known longer than 90 days- we click perfectly as people and so I thought the sex was going to be mind blowing- it was the worst sex of my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just terrible!!!!  
   
 so for now, I'm just keeping my cookie for the hobby, I'm not dating until I am back out of this business as I have just accepted men can't handle THEIR woman being a provider and I am OK with that.  
   
 SOOOOO my question for you men,  
 When you are dating - will you wait 90 days to get the cookie if you really find the woman to be outstanding or do you think that is unreasonable?  
 

Obviously he's been listening to the sex-negative feminists who hate men, sex, and the hobby.  Yes, a woman should make sure a man values her for more than her pussy.  No, she should not put unreasonable demands on the poor guy.

And one other thing.  I was raised religious, and you had to wait until married to have sex.  FUCK.  THAT.  SHIT.  I will never "wait" for anyone again.  The national average is sex on the third date, therefore, if I haven't gotten any by a third date, that relationship is OVER.  No sex=friendzoned.

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