Find the review about the crazy chick (in LA, I think) who had her bird in the room.
Yup, I've read a bunch of reviews the last couple of days.
And they all sound EXACTLY the same: lfk turned into dfk....no shit
I started DATY and she was really into it...no shit
She offered me a shower, nice touch...no shit
I got to the hotel and she texted me the room number...no shit
I gave her several BIG O's...no shit
Get the drift?
We might as well mass produce the damn things
When was the last time you read a unique review?
TER requests a detailed account of your meeting with the lady and a too short review is often refused, So guys tend to pad the detailed accounts that often dont add any value to the review.
And they all sound EXACTLY the same: lfk turned into dfk....no shit
I started DATY and she was really into it...no shit
She offered me a shower, nice touch...no shit
I got to the hotel and she texted me the room number...no shit
I gave her several BIG O's...no shit
Get the drift?
We might as well mass produce the damn things
When was the last time you read a unique review?
Truth be told, I rarely do anything more than skim the "juicy details" looking for something that might be actually relevant to what I might expect when meeting the lady. Reading about the reviewers sexual prowess or how many fake orgasms she had holds no interest to me. Now if she has three tits or likes to swing from the chandelier, THAT is information I might be interested to hear.
DFK, shower, BBBJ, DATY, cover, CG, RCG, ACG, mish, doggy, blew, shower, more DFK, exit.
Pictures were recent and accurate, great attitude, loves to kiss, Mish, CG, Doggy, with a CIM finish.
What more do we really need to know?
TER would never let that fly. Details are not "juicy" enough.
-- Modified on 6/15/2016 10:15:43 AM
...the triple breasted whore of Eroticon 6!
Do you have her number? I lost it...
... from someone who can write well and goes beyond the usual catch phrases. Sometimes those are overly long, but I'd rather have that than "I saw, I came, I left".
There was one review I read maybe a couple of years ago that was written like a script from a Twilight Zone episode. I don't remember where I saw it, but that was fun to read.
I wish you could find that because I'd love to read it. I'm the same way, but it's rare on here.
There was one review I read maybe a couple of years ago that was written like a script from a Twilight Zone episode. I don't remember where I saw it, but that was fun to read.
For those of you interested in the "gems", search out and read Rodeo9112 reviews. Pay particular attention to those with less than glowing scores.
His reviews do not follow the normal pattern which makes them quite entertaining.
Enjoy!
You're right. But, TER has set this up so that the reviews are always going to sound somewhat alike. The blow-by-blow is always going to sound similar, because, well, it probably is. But, if you read the last paragraph----in the reviews that are literate enough to USE paragraphs---you'll often see comments of how it all felt.
To me, those concluding remarks are usually the ones that are the most useful.
Upon opening the review, if I am greeted with one very long paragraph, with no brakes in the narrative, or a review that is five or six paragraphs long, I tend to hit the back button and move on to the next review. I guess I want instant gratification. Most of the reviews I read are direct and straight to the point. I do not want to wade through a novel to find out, if the lady, is someone I would want to see. I am sure that other readers would prefer the exact opposite. This is just me! To each his own.
You mean the one that says:
"I almost didn't write this review because I wanted to keep her for myself. Treat her right boys."
i usually read the general details, then skip to the final paragraph to see if the reviewer would repeat, which tells me his/her attitude so i can gauge the score level; that is, some reviewers give girls a 7 but will repeat, so i would call that 7 more like an 8 or 9 in my estimation.
The reviews on TER always look alike because that's obviously what TER want, reviews are set up so readers will have to pay for membership to read any of the sexual details.
I always feel that good sex should be a consuming event, if you're taking notes to describe it later you're obviously not doing it right.
Like that old joke, man has a dick and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
Do you really want to meet a provider and be conscious the whole time that she is just following a set act that you've read about in previous reviews or do you want to at least feel that it's spontaneous fun between two adults.
Reviews don't need to be so complicated, was the lady who she said she was, did you enjoy your time together, and would you like to see her again?
What more do you need
Your observation is a fair and accurate one. It made me think I need to put more thought and effort into my own reviews. It is easy to fall into a writing rut and just regurgitate the same experiences. No style.
Your stlyle, and this is not a criticism at all, reminds me of Jack Webb on the very old Dragnet radio and TV series. "Just the facts ma'am"
Thanks for the friendly prod.
Curiously enough, Jack Webb as Sgt. Friday never uttered the words "just the facts, ma'am." That was a phrase from Stan Freberg's Dragnet parodies. But it became well-known as Joe Friday's primary catch phrase, in much the same way as Tina Fey's parody comments as Sarah Palin ("I can see Russia from my house!") are frequently attributed to Palin herself.
Writing a review, a good juicy one, includes focusing on that moment in time, again,
and adding Feeling and involve the Senses, to take you there.
It's not as easy as it seems
You may want to expand your mind, to dip into more Uniqueness.
Nice but that's more like a paid advertisement than a guy writing a review.
self-serving. This is the guy's only review, and not exactly well-written. Its only unique because the guy wanted you to expand his ass rather than his horizons. Not exactly a mainstream hobbyist, so not a good example of what the OP was trying to say, but gave you an opportunity to promote yourself, that's all. Pretty transparent and contributes little.
-- Modified on 6/15/2016 10:26:02 AM
Oh Yes! ----You are exactly Right!!!
Thank you!
but that last review of yours sounds much more like it was written by a woman than a man.
As a man, I don't really care much for that kind of review, it doesn't really speak to the things I find important. It's like reading a review that tells me what kind of shoes she was wearing or how elegant her incall location was. Most guys, straight guys at least, don't really give two fucks about those kind of things.
Yes, and I love your manly manliness!!!
Thank you for opening my eyes to becoming more sensitive to what guys want.
Many times the guys that are into that kind of extreme see-how-much-you-can-shove-in-my-ass play are queers that haven't come out of the closet yet. That's why its seems like a woman wrote it.
-- Modified on 6/15/2016 12:14:38 PM
Things like what kind of shoes she wore,(foot fetish guys excluded) the color of her dress, what kind of sheets she had, or the color of her "window treatments" at the very least "plays for both teams"
Straight men not only don't notice those kind of things but can't even remember the color of her eyes five minutes after looking right into them.
Maybe this is the reason the Reviews are all the same....Insert Tab A into Slot B....very simple
Some guys (and women I suppose) want the reviews to read like jerk off material better suited for Penthouse. I use the reviews as a guide to determine if A) she going to look as advertised and B) if she is going to act as advertised. Most of the rest of it is rather irrelevant to me.
As for the review of yourself that you seem so enamored with, if that were the only review to go by, personally it would make me less likely to book with you, not more likely.
I give her an extra point if it's khaki.
Pretty much as long as it's clean, doesn't smell like a dump and mold isn't coating the shower/tub I tend not to notice the room in more than a passing way (more along the lines of spacial orientation and wondering what something might be screening and if I should be concerned.
Shoes -- they seem lopsided with the backs being a lot higher that the front. Or maybe I have that backwards....
There's guys out there that have no life other than tell you how badly you wrote your review.
They complain about sentence structure, spelling, I mean they dissect everything. I stopped writing reviews because of it.
Keep writing, no one is perfect except the perfectly ignorant. Just ignore THEM,
I find it perfectly acceptable to tell them to go fucker themselves ... but I prefer to PM my "critique" ... I don't think the board is for a lot of the nastiness that transpires. Just MHO.
And I do get the ball breaking part ... just don't like the ugliness ...
I come here to escape the ugliness of the real world.
escape the ugliness. A better place for that is an incall with a 30yo hottie. The ball-busting is what makes it fun to come here, but its not for the faint-hearted or overly serious.
missed my point ... at least partially.
There's ball busting, then there's nastiness
There's a difference...
No, you missed mine: There will always be nastiness/ugliness here, so this is not a good place to try to escape it. People here are opinionated and often arguments get heated and intense, hence my observation about going to incall to escape, not here.
...who are so bored with their day that they actually take time to critique a review on this site
Sweets, if you want unique reviews, you're going to have to do something beyond the basics. It doesn't require you getting fisted or fucked or sucking a strapon at all, but like, it does require some innovation and creativity.
Yes, a more "unique" review would entail going beyond inserting tab A into slot B
Find the review about the crazy chick (in LA, I think) who had her bird in the room.
Omg, that WAS a good one
but as I describe the event, I may have things somewhat out of order. I might not include everything. If you don't like a longer review, I can see why you wouldn't read it.
The main reason I've written so few reviews is I don't have the time IMHO to give the provider the credit she deserves, so I abstain.
The women I do review are those that might not have many recent reviews or may be newer and feel there's great value for the guys.
For the record, there are six 10 for performance that I never got around to in the past 8 months.
I've had several ladies tell me that guys have told them they've scheduled because of my review and guys frequently PM me to thank me after the fact (PMs, ISOs etc.) after inquiring if there was more I could add to my review. SMH ... makes me wonder if they read my review.
I really could care one way or the other, because its not about me. If it was, I'd have posted over 100 reviews by now. But I'm happy for both parties if my review brought enjoyment or $$$ to their day.
I write rather graphically but my intent is to make it as tasteful as possible because that's my style BCD. My respect for the woman trumps my ego. In the end, I just want to have fun.
I'm also aware that thousands and thousands of you may not like my style. Thank you for NOT sending PMs...lol
-- Modified on 6/15/2016 11:19:19 AM
And I have a couple new providers I need to review, I've just been too lazy and busy. I will keep your concerns in mind.
However....keep in mind that if there's not much variation in the field, there won't be much in the reviews
When I started writing reviews, I always have issues with the Review Board keeps, so irritating, reminding me to edit, edit, edit, PM, unapproved, change this, change that, the website banned from TER, juicy details less than 2000 words, she doesn't deserved the numbers you've given her, iaw par#s this & that, etc,etc all kinds of reasons they can come up with NOT to approved, then I found a loophole and it work, now most of my reviews goes thru within 24 hours. I love writing reviews now, maybe repetitious, but I got plenty of mails responding to my reviews and describing how they get arouse and even masturbate when they read mine, and some ladies thank my reviews attracted more clients for them....pretty cool compliments...like GaGambler say just zip thru the juicy details and look for relevant to your needs and get that "When Harry met Sally effect", I want her too...
I just looked at your last review and without a paragraph break I don't even want to read it.
I think the review mods deserve hazard pay for this type of review. Two hundred words lumped into one block of text would give me a bigger headache than reading twenty posts by BBBBB back to back to back. Fuck, my head hurts just thinking about it.
Clichéd verbage is often the case as the OP states. However, I still find it useful in letting me know what I can expect, or not expect, with a particular date. And I'd rather see that than nothing at all.
This thread also reminds me of what an experienced provider once told me when I mentioned a review she got was poorly worded (not a bad rating). She said, "I don't see them for their writing ability."
"I climaxed with my cock in her mouth and a Cockatiel on her head." Priceless. Most memorable review ever.
Ha hahahahaha...that tops anything I've encountered
the ultimate TOFTT nightmare. Kudos to him for seeing the humor and taking it in stride.
She gets a 10.
Link isn't working. Is this the one you were after?
And they all sound EXACTLY the same:
I love DFK, so I do look for details.
Sometimes it's "LFK ... wouldn't allow DFK ... pulled away" or "unenthusiastic DFK" or "DFK really into it."
(I started DATY and she was really into it...no shit)
"and she headlocked me with her thighs ..." or "fake moans and I had no idea if she was feelin' it or not"
(She offered me a shower, nice touch...no shit)
"with a pile of wet towels on the floor" vs
"warm, fluffy towel fresh from the dryer" vs
"handed me an almost empty box of babywipes."
(I got to the hotel and she texted me the room number...no shit)
"smooth communication" vs
"kept me waiting for 15 min; my calls went to VM"
(I gave her several BIG O's...no shit)
vs "she laid there like a dead fish, waiting for me to finish and leave"
(Get the drift?)
Yeah, sometimes "normal" is good.
The absence of DRAMA can be a good thing.
Boring write ups don't mean a boring session.
(Her Profile promised CIM but she said no.)
I threw in that one. Deal buster.
Captain Obvious reports might not get promoted above Captain, but the reports are useful (if accurate)
Now that I think about it, my best, most intricately written, most fun, [insert more superlatives here] reviews were all rejected. Even I just joined the humdrum crowd to provide the basic bits and an occasional bone thrown in
and uniform event for most of us -- given the similarity in physiology and psychology. Also, most are not good writers or even interested in narrating a story to others so....
In my case, even if I could write a good story that would be entertaining and novel for your reading pleasure the time and effort for me to do so is nowhere near the limited compensation of 15 VIP days for free. Providing a basic account for others to read is so I'll write some reviews.
Now, I'm not sure I've ever read any of your reviews but it they would serve as good models I'd suggest you offer a solution along with the gripe by referring us to some examples and perhaps posting a nice Review Writers Guide that will the literary-challenged (like me) in improving the standard of reviews that get posted. 
To inform the TER community of my experience, credit to my VIP membership, hopefully to promote the providers business, & lastly to brag about fucking a beautiful woman.
I went back & read all of my reviews & while they each are different stories you can tell that they were written by the same person, darn I guess I will have to give up on my career as a novelist.
I always mean to write a review, but then my thoughts drift to work and I forget.....shame on me