Not sure if its the funniest but

I had sex in a grave yard once. I knew they wouldnt tell anyone.

Happy Monday

Ivy O.

the bed was so bouncy I fell right off the bed in a rolling back flip.

That's what happens when a man pounds a pussy too fast LOL

-- Modified on 6/13/2016 6:00:34 PM

I was doing mish with my wife and our dog jumped on my back and looked over my shoulder. So my wife had 2 heads looking at her which made her start laughing uncontrollably. Cock blocked by my gog!

I was trying to sneakily have a quickie with a high school boyfriend and we thought we had the house to ourselves. So you know, doing the do; causal missionary style... when we hear a noise. So we freeze. Because I maybe have a scary older brother or two, and as the precious girl child, they we're very protective.  
They we are, in my bed, mid-act, frozen listening hard. When my cat, my asshole of a cat, decides to it's the perfect time to take a nap. He jumps on top of my then boyfriend, curls up and lays down on the small of his back.  
And he did not want to move, that cat was determined to take a nap right there thankyouverymuch.
My bf wiggled, cat wasn't moving. Bucking, nothing doing. All of this while still inside me, and I'm trying not to laugh as my boyfriend seems to be taking this very personally.
He tried rocking side to side, nope. So then he jumps up to force the cat off his back ... and that only made claws happen. So he screams, as now he is bleeding. Which, thankfully, does finally drive home to Asshole Cat that maybe he should give up and move along. And he does the full fluffed out cat thing takes off out of my room at a mile per minute.
I toss a t shirt on, and am trying to administer first aid when in comes one of my brothers who was just nearly run over by a very freaked out cat, and having heard screams from outside. And he see's me, laughing, half naked, leaning over a naked bleeding man on my bed...and just slowly backs out of the room. And we've never spoken of it.

Well, I guess her face was too oiled up because my jizz just ricocheted off her face and ended up god knows where (I thought.)

Later that day I looked down at my shoes, and there is was:  A big wad of my jizz.  Of course they were suede.

But I cleaned them up though the spunk left quite the impression on them.  I call them my lucky shoes now

we broke the bed

but it did not stop us

My girlfriend and I were in my parents' bed going at it in mish, when I felt a tongue licking my ass.  I thought, wow this girl is talented, then I realized I was getting rimmed by the family dog.

the girl wanted to switch to ACG, so in order to get her feet up under her, she pushed down on my stomach with both hands, and created the loudest fart from my ass that I have ever had.  She said sorry and tried to keep going, but I lost it and then we both spent the next 15 minutes laughing hysterically.  Because we shared such a "human" moment, I became a regular of hers for about a year, until she moved to LA, and established herself as a well-known veteran.  Most LA hobbyists have seen her. I don't see her anymore, because she's a little TOO well-known.  LOL

I was finally having sex with a drummer I had been totally hot for for a year, and he had drank too much, and fell asleep on top of me. What a disappointment! So I guess that wouldn't have been funny. But it is now! Lol!!  

I was with someone fun, really fun, and the people in the room next door banged on the wall and shouted "Shut up!!" (That's when I learned I should probably cover my face with a pillow when I 'gasm.)

I had sex with a hot stranger on a train in a lavatory while traveling in Europe, and I was the second to walk out of the lavatory. Oh, the glares I received from fellow female passengers!

Hay officer we were just talking!

OK so funniest thing that happened to me was when I was with my boyfriend at the time,and we didn't realize the park we chose to  engage in...scandalous activities in...closed at a certain time.  

So we're exploring eachother in the back seat of the car (early college kid stuff),my skirt is off in the car my bra is off...all a sudden it went from pitch dark to lights being flashed everywhere.MAN I started getting dressed like the cops were speed chasing my like they did O.J Bronco I the 90's.

I had managed to get my skirt on aND bra ,but not my shirt.So me and my ex were so good at talking.some how after standing outside with no shirt for 20min,them id'ing us both to see if we were of legal age. They wrapped up and said OK just a warning ,don't be at this park past 11pm again...and they left...lol

I had my ATF at my house on 2 or 3 occasions.  On one of these occasions, I wanted to make her laugh, using my dog as the jester.  You see, if I pretend that I'm beating a woman, my dog will snap at my crotch.  However, my dog has another characteristic:  he will stick his nose in the crotch of a woman who is experiencing Aunt Flo, puberty, or arousal.  So my ATF and I had just finished having some really hot sex, and were about to clean up.  I said, "Check this out," and picked up a back scratcher.  I started swatting at her, yelling: "Bad!  Naughty," expecting my dog to attack me.  Instead, he went running up to my ATF and stuck his cold nose right in her pussy.  You should have seen the look on her face.

She didn't get mad, though.  I think she saw the look on MY face, and realized that the dog wasn't supposed to do that.

My college GF and I had just finished fucking. We were laying side by side, on our backs in bed catching our breath. At which point her new kitten crawled onto the bed and walked up between my GF's spread legs and sniffed her pussy. This startled her. I just grinned and said "he likes your pussy too..." Then we both laughed.

There was this absolutely gorgeous girl who opened a small private gym near my house.  
Tall, blonde, big boobs, very athletic. Gorgeous face.  
She was my personal trainer for about six months. Found out she was getting divorced and asked her out  
We went to a very nice restaurant, had a fabulous dinner but I couldn't believe how much she could drink!
She had me meet her at a bar near her house and we'd gone from there in my car.  
Get back to her's and start fooling around.  
Climb into the backseat and get serious. But she's had so much to drink she can't O. She's gotten almost there several times so we stop for a breather.  
It all took more time than we thought. When we finally get ready to leave we are locked into the lot!
Chain across the drive, the whole thing.  
I got behind the wheel of her Beemer and drove that sucker on the sidewalk between two posts and got out of there. Had maybe an inch clearance total. Close call!
To this day every time I see her all I have to do is point toward the sidewalk and she goes into hysterical laughter Any sidewalk will do.

And justt as she was about to cum, my son called up from downstairs " Mom, can I take my bike out for a ride?"

My wife yelled out as she was cumming " TAKE THE DAMNED CAR!"

I never laughed so hard in my life.