Get a sex change and become a provider.  I don't recall if you were among the jizz-junkies on the "taste-your-own-semen-thread" below, but it would be a good first step.

Good luck with that.  They are far more secretive than many of the pussies who have access to the Reviewers Only Board who leak hobbyist only intel like a sieve.

I would walk by the ladies room in the local movies house. The entrance to the ladies room area was much fancier than the one for the men's room.  We knew there was a waiting room and then the actual toilet area.  My friends and I had fantasies about what kind of spectacular things might be in there.  There were older girls in the neighborhood and we would ask what it was like "in there."  They would smile and giggle and tell us we were too young to know.
Later I found out, of course, that there were no secret facilities, no special massage tables, no string quartets, in fact nothing but toilets and sinks.  
Now I sit and wonder what spectacular things go on at the providers only board.  When I ask providers, they smile and giggle.

What is likely to most surprise you, is that ya'all do not occupy every thought we have, and every breath we breath. What might surprise you is that we all have lives outside of the hobby, and that just as often as not, that is our fodder for discussion.

....... in a way that doesn't actually give anything away.   You know, a general but vague sort of response?  Like political leaders frequently give when put on the spot LOL.  

Upon further thought, it seems to me that the following could be said about virtually any restricted-access group or secret society, for that matter.

1.  It's pretty mundane day-to-day conversation that could be happening anywhere, private or not.

2.  Unless you are provider, the specifically hobby-related topics don't apply to you and therefore would likely bore you.

3.  They're not talking about YOU.  

 
(Seriously, a few guys have speculated that the PO board is nothing but a Hens' Club where were everyone sits around yakking about the board posters.  While playing bridge or knitting, of course. :rolleyes

 
Please feel free to flog me if you think I've "leaked" anything.  

Gossip, cliques and catfights would be my guess.

Seriously, there's a reason they have their own board and if there's something you need to know to be a better client I suspect just talking with the girls you see will get you all the info you need.

But why would I want to hack into the PO board?  It would probably be like reading "The View" instead of watching in on TV...YAWN.  I think I would prefer to hack into Donald Trump's bank account and show some of our lovely ladies a really good time.

I thought that the responses might be brief, slightly informative, somewhat indifferent. I expected someone to generally explain how bland, boring or mundane the topics were and generally diffuse any curiosity there might be.  

It seems like simply asking the question struck a nerve in some posters. Not everyone. I did not mean to offend anyone. The intensity of the responses of some posters caught me by surprise.

I suspect that the discussion here did not diffuse curiosity

So, what you guys don't know, is that the PO Board is actually a video chat room.

I happen to be an expert hacker, so recently I managed to hack into a discussion of two gals I know discussing a birthday gift I bought for one of them.  (My RL name is Fred.)

Let's take a peek, eh

It's damn hard to get in to that PO board. Admin told me to try again in * 6 * months! I better get busy posting!

surprise #1: a lot of the same types of Q&A and comments as public boards.
surprise #2: a lot of fear of "Leaks" if a provider is called out or mentioned by name
surprise #3: pretty high use of alias' due to #1 and #2.

Well who has the biggest one and who has the smallest one?

Belly of coarse.

If it is for the providers safety I am all for it. If it save's one life or a provider from getting mugged GREAT ! I think we would all agree to that. If a provider told me how to be a better client because of what someone wrote, I hope they tell me.

would any man want to know what women talk about when they are alone together. Their preference in tampons, the best douches, shoes, how to annoy the shit out of the men in their life. A good part of the reason I see hookers is so I don't have to listen to the inane shit that comes out of a woman's mouth. Why would I want to know what they cackle about when they are roosting.