If I am already there, and it's chit-chat at the end of a session, I very matter-of-factly state 2 ways of making more money in general: either work more hours or increase rates. Maybe expand her menu if that's an impediment to a price increase. I feel if she's looking for extra cash that "no negotiating rule" is null and void. I also remind her that existing clients are her best resource and she should focus advertising and marketing efforts there.
If she's a regular and just cold-calling me, I don't mind popping in on the 31st so she can make rent if I was planning to see her soon anyway. I once paid in advance with a VERY trusted provider who offered a buy now play later discount. Bottom line is that it has to be a two-way street.i hear it often from clients that some providers try to hustle them for additional $$ on top regular rates by telling sob stories: " oh, my rent is overdue...oh i need to buy stuff for my children...oh, my car broke down...i need money to fly to see my parents etc...come see me asap i need money...
does it happen to you? what do you do? usually when you help out once, they ask for more...how do you cut it off politely? it seems like some guys like feeling like heroes and maybe they are fine being taken advantage of ....
often when guys tell me these stories they tell them with the sense of pride that they helped somebody, i feel like most of the time they got taken advantage off ....which is it
There have been times when I helped a lady out and I am sure it was legitimate need and I was of real help. Other times I know I was duped and definitely taken advantage of. And there are times I am not sure of which. One sure sign of being taken advantage of is she comes back with yet another sob story
Believe it or not, "heartless prick" that I am, I too have "bitten" on more than a couple sob stories with mixed results. My default position on sob stories is to run for the hills, but every once in a while either the story is convincing enough, or I simply like the girl enough to if not swallow her story hook line and sinker, I at least take a "nibble"
As I said, I have had mixed results. Once upon a time back in my casino days, I had a favorite that I was seeing in the very "hooker bereft" city of Biloxi. One day back in Atlanta I get a call from her with the age old "My rent is due, if you help me I will make it up to you" for some reason even though I knew I risked ever seeing her again, I bit on her story and sent her the few hundred bucks she was asking for. That actually started a "quasi SD/SB" relationship with her that lasted about two years. I rarely gave her money for our sessions, our sessions stopped having any clock to them and in return I was her "get out of jail free" card. If I were to add up the money I sent her vs the amount she would have been charging me by the hour I am positive I would have come out a definite winner. BTW she was also the one who introduced me to the FC, I was in fucking heaven.
Now of course I have several stories without such a happy ending, but I am in a good mood this morning and don't feel like whining about the relatively small amount of money I have been scammed out of over the years. My attitude about "advance payments" to hookers is to consider the money lost, and the "loan" a gift the moment then cash leaves your hands. Any benefit, or actually ever seeing your money ever again should be considered "found money", but in all fairness I feel the same way about "lending" money to friends from other walks of life.
Both fulfilled their end of the deal, with interest, which is, among other things, why they are ATF's and are highly regarded in our community. Outside of that, once was contacted by a lady I met at an M&G (10 minutes of conversation) who hit me with one of the proverbial sob stories you mentioned. I knew it would be a mistake to reply, and discretion being the better part of valor...
That being said, advancing funds up front is risky unless you absolutely trust the lady, and have history between you both. I could regale you on a couple of stories in the past where I was not involved that caused considerable controversy here and other review websites. but they are just old train wrecks.
Back in the day, I was seeing this lady at 200 a pop. One day I got an email asking if I wouldn't like to come see her. She also said that her rent was coming due, and that because of unexpected expenses, she was running short. I have to hand it to her because she didn't ask for a hand out. Her offer was five hundred for the first session, then I could come see her four more times without paying. It was like 5 sessions at half price. The way I looked at it, it was two and a half freebies. They were sessions in my pocket. The other stipulation was they had to be used within a year.
Of course I'd heard all the sob horror stories about ladies reneging on their offers. Or simply taking the money, and running. In fact, an atf told of loaning 6k to her doubles partner, and never seeing a penny in return. So it's not just the guys who are gullible. I decided to take a chance, knowing full well this could go south in a hurry. But my thought was why would she stiff a regular customer? She'd be losing thousands in the future. To make a long story short, she complied on all five sessions. One of the sessions was used while binge lobbying. I'd already seen the 6k atf, and while on my way home, it came over me I was still horny. I gave the let's make a deal lady a call, and sure enough she was available in an hour. So my sob story turned out great.
Cool, you can move in with me!
(Nope, I haven't tried it yet.
(Nope, I haven't tried it yet.)
Was at session and she was a little distraught. I had to ask what was wrong and she showed me the letter from the IRS for past due taxes.
Did not bite directly but went an extra hour to help out both of us.
She did get things paid off without asking me directly anyway.
May have had someone else jump in
I have heard the same stories at times...some I wanted to say now just stop it right now! However I k ow the the sense of relationship between two people is complicated. Who am I to judge!?
No one wants to help someone and feel taken advantage of. It's contrary to why you help them in the first place. Because you want to.
Fortunately (?), I haven't gotten any sob stories but I've offered and provided plane fare for an ATF, a travel gal to help her come to Boston, her primary workplac
does it happen to you? what do you do? usually when you help out once, they ask for more...how do you cut it off politely? it seems like some guys like feeling like heroes and maybe they are fine being taken advantage of ....
often when guys tell me these stories they tell them with the sense of pride that they helped somebody, i feel like most of the time they got taken advantage off ....which is it?
Maybe it's the fact that I don't look or act like an ATM. I think when some providers know a client is new to this, they see an opportunity.
does it happen to you? what do you do? usually when you help out once, they ask for more...how do you cut it off politely? it seems like some guys like feeling like heroes and maybe they are fine being taken advantage of ....
often when guys tell me these stories they tell them with the sense of pride that they helped somebody, i feel like most of the time they got taken advantage off ....which is it?
Been there done that! This experience was with a former regular from last summer. I knew her life story after three dates. As the summer went along it was "can you help me out with rent?" She said she would extend a couple of dates in the future but she never did.
I drew the line towards the end of last summer when she asked me to pick up food and ummm..."toiletries" for her
D.
Then the lady stopped communicating. In my opinion, If you help a lady out you must do so with no strings or expectations . . . in other words as a gift.
Now, if a local lady asks for help, I book a session. If she is an out of town lady, I decline.
I guess I am a sucker for a sob story. I have helped out a couple times. Many times I lent money to one of the first providers I had seen. I have seen her many times but we became more of friends then it became awkward where she would always tell me she would repay me. Eventually I moved on.
The second time was money for diapers and rent. Afterwards she wouldn't respond to any communication.
Rent and car payments with the promise of free services in the future. Well the free services never happened and she would not respond to my calls or texts. Infollow her life on the Internet as she has been arrested twice and recently an attorney published a legal notice in the area newspapers that she was giving notice of terminating her rights as a mother of a little girl she gave birth to in March. Somehow I feel it was good I lost the money as I will never do that again and I could have been dragged down in the gutter with her.
The second time was money for diapers and rent. Afterwards she wouldn't respond to any communication.
If I am already there, and it's chit-chat at the end of a session, I very matter-of-factly state 2 ways of making more money in general: either work more hours or increase rates. Maybe expand her menu if that's an impediment to a price increase. I feel if she's looking for extra cash that "no negotiating rule" is null and void. I also remind her that existing clients are her best resource and she should focus advertising and marketing efforts there.
If she's a regular and just cold-calling me, I don't mind popping in on the 31st so she can make rent if I was planning to see her soon anyway. I once paid in advance with a VERY trusted provider who offered a buy now play later discount. Bottom line is that it has to be a two-way street.
when you give them money you maybe just enabling them to continue doing what does not work in there life.
an appointment if I am in the market at that time. No IOUs for me.
Some I just ignored. Some I replied something like, "I am unable to help you. Good luck. Hope you get what you need." Or some variation like "I am not comfortable helping you that way." Others I have booked an appointment with to help them rather than just give them money. And a few ladies I have actually loaned (given) money to. Some have returned it in cash or service, some have not.
If I can.. have also walked away when it's like an upsell...
You have told me I'm nuts already..
nm
does it happen to you? what do you do? usually when you help out once, they ask for more...how do you cut it off politely? it seems like some guys like feeling like heroes and maybe they are fine being taken advantage of ....
often when guys tell me these stories they tell them with the sense of pride that they helped somebody, i feel like most of the time they got taken advantage off ....which is it?
does it happen to you? what do you do? usually when you help out once, they ask for more...how do you cut it off politely? it seems like some guys like feeling like heroes and maybe they are fine being taken advantage of ....
often when guys tell me these stories they tell them with the sense of pride that they helped somebody, i feel like most of the time they got taken advantage off ....which is it?
I get that things happen at times but I believe it best to pay it back, quickly and never ask again.
In my opinion it's just not something you do, especially if you are a business woman.
Back in the day, I played along with that, but realized the guys who like to help damsels in distress tend to be extremely clingy, patronizing and controlling.
I figured, hey, if they like it, sure... but then I realized I was only humiliating myself and they were getting off on it.
No thanks.