TER General Board

You can break if you want to
Jstgttnstrtd 18 Reviews 553 reads
posted

It's just a decision about what you want in life.
I had a fun 3 year run in the hobby.
Met some amazing women and really got me out of my shell.
But... this "most incredibly intimate yet completely non-intimate" hobby made me realize what I really wanted - which is a committed relationship with someone I care about and who cares about me (yeah, sappy but true).
At least this is my plan/hope for now.  Have met a great lady, so will see where that ends.
I really did have some fun times though, and while I started as a just a complete horn dog, it was some of the openness from wonderful ladies where guards were let down a bit that surprised me the most and helped enrich the experiences.  But, those little echoes of true intimacy just made me yearn for the real thing.  It did get me out of my shell and off my butt, on to regular dating sites etc.  Gave me confidence to just go after what I want out of life.  Guess I'm a bit of late bloomer in that regard.

Will I stay out for good?  Who knows?  Life can change quickly, and I may at some point turn back to this hobby which was like a drug of choice for me that gave me some amazing "highs" that were beyond my wildest dreams.  But like I said, it also led me to a new dream/hope.  As of now I don't have a desire to return to it (although yes, sometimes on a sleepless night I still poke my head in here for fun).  Been a year since my last hobby date, so obviously that's not a real long time.  I'll give my current relationship all I have.  If it doesn't pan out, then I could be at an interesting fork in the road.  Only time will tell.

do you think this hobby is an addictive game we all are playing?

is it possible to beat it?and what would it take for you?

i like the attention and money,  i like making others feel loved and please others...but i realize something or someone is still missing in my life

i am hoping that i am strong enough to leave the industry in pursue of new beginnings ....but what if i cannot beat the cravings to return to the industry?  

those of you who know providers or mongers that retired from the game, what did it take them?are they happy with their new lives

GaGambler717 reads

and after all these years of not having to answer to anyone, the thought of only one woman "for the rest of my life" is just not a concept I can really wrap my arms around.

I fall in "Lust" all the time, but typically after a couple of times together, or in some cases a couple of dozen or even more, but with all women it happens sooner or later, I start getting bored and want someone new. Knowing this about myself committing to one woman would be a lie to both her and to myself.

Spread the love!  

Posted By: GaGambler
and after all these years of not having to answer to anyone, the thought of only one woman "for the rest of my life" is just not a concept I can really wrap my arms around.  
   
 I fall in "Lust" all the time, but typically after a couple of times together, or in some cases a couple of dozen or even more, but with all women it happens sooner or later, I start getting bored and want someone new. Knowing this about myself committing to one woman would be a lie to both her and to myself.

I figured out long before I joined the hobby (or whatever you prefer to call it) that a traditional monogamous relationship just wasn't for me. Because of this, I spent much of my adult life single, until I was introduced to the idea of polyamory. I have had one really beautiful non monogamous relationship, where we considered ourselves emotionally monogamous, but were physically free to do as we wish as long as protection was used ;-)

I really wish that everyone could experience that level of trust, acceptance and love in their lives. For me, I found that because I could be open about my feelings of desire for others and not feel trapped by them, that I was much more open in communication with my partner about everything. The only reason we have split up is because of geography. I am a complete believer that if most people could just let go of all the social/religious/cultural brain washing, that some form of polyamory is what is more natural.

GaGambler538 reads

but quite frankly I have my own fucked up moral code that prevents me from having a polyamorous relationship that could last forever.  

Here is my problem, I can date a provider who is having sex with guys for money, but if I have any genuine feelings for her I can't be comfortable with her having actual feelings for anyone else.  

To further complicate things, I have a rather short attention span, I need a lot of "me" time and after even a few days with the same woman around I start wishing she had some place else to go. I

It's funny, when I first meet a woman that I really like and that I "click" with sexually, the first few days or weeks I want as much of her as I can get, but after having sex a couple of times, or a couple of dozen, or in rare cases a couple of hundred times, the luster wears off for me. When I say "it's me" not her, I mean that sincerely,  I am just not marriage material and I doubt I ever will be, nor am I polyamorous material. I guess I am doomed to fucking everything that moves until my dick no longer works and then maybe I will find a woman to spend the short time I will have left at that time with. lol

that a lot of people do not possess :) you know who you are...respect...  

Posted By: GaGambler
and after all these years of not having to answer to anyone, the thought of only one woman "for the rest of my life" is just not a concept I can really wrap my arms around.  
   
 I fall in "Lust" all the time, but typically after a couple of times together, or in some cases a couple of dozen or even more, but with all women it happens sooner or later, I start getting bored and want someone new. Knowing this about myself committing to one woman would be a lie to both her and to myself.

Mscurious688 reads

If you leave...you will be back.

I once had a fave who was based in Dallas. Not a city I much cared for. But met her when I had to drift down there for some biz. It was instant bsc time for me. For the next 10 years I made up excuses to visit Dallas. If I was in town 5 nights I'd see her at least 3 of them and always multi hours. Our social OTC clock time was almost as enjoyable as the in room boom boom. As time rolled by we developed a level of trust that led to sharing a lot of personal info. I knew she was divorced with two boys. I knew her marriage had sucked. And though we really were rather close she knew I was happily married.

This lady was a real knockout with personality plus.
Once I asked her if she thought she'd ever remarry. Her answer was rather interesting.
" Well STP , I did that once. The only real positive was the boys. Now I'm single and in the biz....for many years. I find I get all the companionship I need and better sex than when I was ever married or for that matter single but not yet providing. So , no, I don't know why I'd ever want to marry again or get sucked into that S.O. thing."

Always thought that was an interesting response.
After nearly 10 years she retired from the life.
Our last conversation was very positive and she expressed no regrets or did she indicate an interest in meeting Mr Right. In fact her attitude was she had enjoyed a multiplicity of " Mr Rights" during her years as a Provider.

Don't know if this is helpful or not. But I gladly share the perspective of a lady I always adored and respected.

i get her. thank you for writing this.  

Posted By: STPhomer
I once had a fave who was based in Dallas. Not a city I much cared for. But met her when I had to drift down there for some biz. It was instant bsc time for me. For the next 10 years I made up excuses to visit Dallas. If I was in town 5 nights I'd see her at least 3 of them and always multi hours. Our social OTC clock time was almost as enjoyable as the in room boom boom. As time rolled by we developed a level of trust that led to sharing a lot of personal info. I knew she was divorced with two boys. I knew her marriage had sucked. And though we really were rather close she knew I was happily married.  
   
 This lady was a real knockout with personality plus.  
 Once I asked her if she thought she'd ever remarry. Her answer was rather interesting.  
 " Well STP , I did that once. The only real positive was the boys. Now I'm single and in the biz....for many years. I find I get all the companionship I need and better sex than when I was ever married or for that matter single but not yet providing. So , no, I don't know why I'd ever want to marry again or get sucked into that S.O. thing."  
   
 Always thought that was an interesting response.  
 After nearly 10 years she retired from the life.  
 Our last conversation was very positive and she expressed no regrets or did she indicate an interest in meeting Mr Right. In fact her attitude was she had enjoyed a multiplicity of " Mr Rights" during her years as a Provider.  
   
 Don't know if this is helpful or not. But I gladly share the perspective of a lady I always adored and respected.

nteresting and well written. Your friend makes a lot of sense and I feel the same in some respects.  

In 10+ years, I've only met one woman in the hobby that has everything I look for in a partner that would give me pause to continue.  

Ladies, have you met a guy that made you think twice about retiring

(Warning, this is longer than the ballsack on Methusaleh . . . )  

. . . Because according to my Christian upbringings and Cinderella mind frame at the time, living a monogamous life and giving all of oneself to the one you adored was/is the epitome of love that is unrequited, true, and even holy. To belong and be longed for.  

To make a long and dramatic story short - I had fell in love (or was it lust?) with my ATF client. He was attractive, very generous, and was someone that I always looked forward to see . . . and soon started to care about, deeply. The same went for him too. Before you knew it, Cupid had struck us both with his damned arrows.  

Which, let me say this - Feelings are an occupational hazard in this industry ladies. Just like STDs, please don't catch that shit. Also gentlemen, don't spread that shit either. If you have feelings, please keep them to yourself. Please, #PracticeSafeFeelings.  

With that being said, I was naive and stupid to believe that this connection between me and my client was to be much more than what it essentially was and consequently should've stayed at. Thus, I never wanted this relationship to end; I wanted to cherish it, keep it, and have him put a ring on it.  

Which, like Sheila E's 80's hit, I too wanted to leave the so-called glamorous life as a provider. After all, "without love, it ain't much". [Insert catchy saxophone chorus here].  

So of course, our relationship went from strictly business to something personal. We started going out on dates and enjoying life together. Nonetheless, I started thinking of what I needed to do in order for my master plan to work. Thus, I started with the creator of this grand fiasco - Myself.

After all, who would marry a hooker? A woman with no 'real' occupation? A woman who lets other men eat the groceries? Surely, he wouldn't want to introduce this kind of woman to his friends and family?  

Nevertheless, I had retired from being a provider for a short while in hopes of redeeming myself and proving to him that I was serious. Well, guess what? After a couple of months, the man that I had emotionally and physically succumbed to still hobbied. I went right back to providing too.  

And that, my friends, is how the cookie crumbled.  

Yours Truly,  
Adrienne Baptiste  

Posted By: nothrofboston
 
   
 Interesting and well written. Your friend makes a lot of sense and I feel the same in some respects.  
   
 In 10+ years, I've only met one woman in the hobby that has everything I look for in a partner that would give me pause to continue.  
   
 Ladies, have you met a guy that made you think twice about retiring?  
   
   
   
   
 

I am sorry about your situation,  as I have previously posted, for a business relationship to flourish into a personal one, it should work both ways......No more hobbying for him and No more providing for her!  No ifs ands or buts!  This is an excellent bond to sustain a relationship that most would agree started in a different type of setting.
 

Posted By: Adrienne Baptiste
(Warning, this is longer than the ballsack on Methusaleh . . . )  
   
 . . . Because according to my Christian upbringings and Cinderella mind frame at the time, living a monogamous life and giving all of oneself to the one you adored was/is the epitome of love that is unrequited, true, and even holy. To belong and be longed for.  
   
 To make a long and dramatic story short - I had fell in love (or was it lust?) with my ATF client. He was attractive, very generous, and was someone that I always looked forward to see . . . and soon started to care about, deeply. The same went for him too. Before you knew it, Cupid had struck us both with his damned arrows.  
   
 Which, let me say this - Feelings are an occupational hazard in this industry ladies. Just like STDs, please don't catch that shit. Also gentlemen, don't spread that shit either. If you have feelings, please keep them to yourself. Please, #PracticeSafeFeelings.  
   
 With that being said, I was naive and stupid to believe that this connection between me and my client was to be much more than what it essentially was and consequently should've stayed at. Thus, I never wanted this relationship to end; I wanted to cherish it, keep it, and have him put a ring on it.  
   
 Which, like Sheila E's 80's hit, I too wanted to leave the so-called glamorous life as a provider. After all, "without love, it ain't much". [Insert catchy saxophone chorus here].  
   
 So of course, our relationship went from strictly business to something personal. We started going out on dates and enjoying life together. Nonetheless, I started thinking of what I needed to do in order for my master plan to work. Thus, I started with the creator of this grand fiasco - Myself.  
   
 After all, who would marry a hooker? A woman with no 'real' occupation? A woman who lets other men eat the groceries? Surely, he wouldn't want to introduce this kind of woman to his friends and family?  
   
 Nevertheless, I had retired from being a provider for a short while in hopes of redeeming myself and proving to him that I was serious. Well, guess what? After a couple of months, the man that I had emotionally and physically succumbed to still hobbied. I went right back to providing too.  
   
 And that, my friends, is how the cookie crumbled.  
   
 Yours Truly,  
 Adrienne Baptiste  
   
Posted By: nothrofboston
 
     
  Interesting and well written. Your friend makes a lot of sense and I feel the same in some respects.    
     
  In 10+ years, I've only met one woman in the hobby that has everything I look for in a partner that would give me pause to continue.    
     
  Ladies, have you met a guy that made you think twice about retiring?    
     
     
     
     
 

I see more than 90% of the people who claim to seek retirement, back within 5 years of being gone. I just learned from them to never use the word "never". Besides if Ure good at what u do and u get ur bills paid; why would u run towards retirement? This like every other profession, has competitiveness and cattiness. It's something unavoidable. Just try to stay positive,and always play safe. I would only quit the industry if I wasn't happy with what I did, or if doing this is seriously harming me emotionally. If u love pleasing guys and Ure good at it. Keep at it 😘

Cheer up girl. Love ya 😘

rollaxroll628 reads

But I also heard that majority of providers won't provide for life.  Majority only provided temporarily and then left.  Not sure which to believe.  

I don't know what percentage of  hobbyists are hobbyists for life and have no intention to leave.  I do know many hobbyists treat this as an adventure and only plan to experience it and then leave for good.   Of course we rarely heard of their voice here because they are all gone.  That's probably part of the reason  why there are always new girls coming in and providers always need to meet new clients.  

I personally enjoy seeing providers.  But I don't think I am addictive because I can end it any time if I want to leave.  It's never going to be my top priority of my life although I do enjoy it.  

Posted By: sasha2cute
I see more than 90% of the people who claim to seek retirement, back within 5 years of being gone. I just learned from them to never use the word "never". Besides if Ure good at what u do and u get ur bills paid; why would u run towards retirement? This like every other profession, has competitiveness and cattiness. It's something unavoidable. Just try to stay positive,and always play safe. I would only quit the industry if I wasn't happy with what I did, or if doing this is seriously harming me emotionally. If u love pleasing guys and Ure good at it. Keep at it 😘  
   
 Cheer up girl. Love ya 😘

I mean I'm so addictive just reading this post makes me want to meet u lol  

Posted By: octavia.lexa
do you think this hobby is an addictive game we all are playing?  
   
 is it possible to beat it?and what would it take for you?  
   
 i like the attention and money,  i like making others feel loved and please others...but i realize something or someone is still missing in my life  
   
 i am hoping that i am strong enough to leave the industry in pursue of new beginnings ....but what if i cannot beat the cravings to return to the industry?  
   
 those of you who know providers or mongers that retired from the game, what did it take them?are they happy with their new lives?  
   
   
   
 

"LMFAO....good luck babe wish you well you're going to need it..Wanna bet your still sucking cock in the fall?"

nice people....what can i say...

GaGambler615 reads

and they can't stand that because of their own shortcomings they are reduced to patronizing you "lowly hookers" They claim to hate you, but it's really themselves they hate.

The good news is, I bet you enjoy "sucking cock" I certainly enjoy "sucking pussy" and even if you do retire, you'll just be sucking your BF or Husbands cock making both of you very happy while these cowards who can't even air their comments publicly are still their same miserable selves.

Now see what they did, they turned one of the biggest assholes here into a White fucking Knight. fucking fuckers.  

Well I suppose I should thank them for one thing, by comparison even I look "nice" lol

lol, this what i wrote to him "i always be sucking dick, i love it...you should put a dick in your mouth...you talk too much..."

we have the same dirty mind

Posted By: GaGambler
and they can't stand that because of their own shortcomings they are reduced to patronizing you "lowly hookers" They claim to hate you, but it's really themselves they hate.  
   
 The good news is, I bet you enjoy "sucking cock" I certainly enjoy "sucking pussy" and even if you do retire, you'll just be sucking your BF or Husbands cock making both of you very happy while these cowards who can't even air their comments publicly are still their same miserable selves.  
   
 Now see what they did, they turned one of the biggest assholes here into a White fucking Knight. fucking fuckers.  
   
 Well I suppose I should thank them for one thing, by comparison even I look "nice" lol

want to know who the hell you are and what did you do with GaGambler?

GaGambler579 reads

But I am an asshole who actually likes most of the hookers I know. I mean honestly, with the exception of a few BSC and a few "old and bitter" hookers, what's not to like?

I mean why would anyone dislike Octavia or anyone like her, sight unseen, unless they had some serious issues of their own. Yes, there are a few hookers I don't really like, but that's based on their behavior as human beings, not because of what they do for a living

GaGambler,  
  You are a joke!!

Posted By: GaGambler
But I am an asshole who actually likes most of the hookers I know. I mean honestly, with the exception of a few BSC and a few "old and bitter" hookers, what's not to like?  
   
 I mean why would anyone dislike Octavia or anyone like her, sight unseen, unless they had some serious issues of their own. Yes, there are a few hookers I don't really like, but that's based on their behavior as human beings, not because of what they do for a living

Posted By: GaGambler
But I am an asshole who actually likes most of the hookers I know. I mean honestly, with the exception of a few BSC and a few "old and bitter" hookers, what's not to like?  
   
 I mean why would anyone dislike Octavia or anyone like her, sight unseen, unless they had some serious issues of their own. Yes, there are a few hookers I don't really like, but that's based on their behavior as human beings, not because of what they do for a living

souls_harbor439 reads

I think "addiction" is an over-used term.  We want to repeat enjoyable experiences.  But I think the word "addiction" should be reserved for rather more drastic impulses.  The reason I say this is because once we assign something as an addiction we can mentally abdicate responsibility for our actions and blame the addiction.

Every chosen lifestyle will have its good points and bad points (if it only had bad points, no one would have chosen it in the first place.)  We should fairly weight the good and the bad versus other lifestyles and then come to a rational conclusion.  We shouldn't let a fake addiction steer us away from our best possible life course

I was thinking the same thing. To for this to be an addiction for someone (and it can be), there would have to be a loss of impulse control. The following activities to me would be more of an indication that someone is addicted.  

For hobbyists:
Are you going into debt to keep hobbying?
Are you doing things to put undue risk on other parts of your life?
Skipping work, not coming home too many nights in a row?
Breaking rules that you put in place but are bending, because ya just have to see this one last woman....

 
For providers:
Are you screening less carefully so you can see you next client (get your fix)
Are you willing to provide services that you may not be comfortable with, but again want to see more clients.  
Are you doing anything that makes you less safe, because you need you fix?

What's not to love about it? I get to meet the most fascinating men and then I get to have them in my mouth. They buy me presents, take me out to dinner, treat me like a queen, and then spoil me rotten with their tongues later. They sweep me off my feet regularly. I feel withdrawals during slow times. It's a helluva roller coaster!  

I tried retiring once, but it's really such a part of who I am. I would literally dream I was doing it every single night. And they were good dreams- amazing dreams that I didn't want to wake up from. So I returned. I think I will always be available to my favorite gents, even if I do officially "permanently" retire. I am still available to certain gents from my former incarnation.  

I know a lady who retired to marry. She's happily married still, has a wonderful life with a charming and sweet man (who has more money than God), and they've started a family. She's still a sex bomb, but she fulfills that part of herself in other ways now. So it took true love and lots of money (aka security). I wonder if she misses it at all. I'll have to ask her sometime.  

I also know a male escort who retired to marry. They're still happily married and have a family. He has oodles of money and property. I don't think he misses it at all.

i guess that will be my formula:))thanks gal

You make this whore fest seem like a fairy tale. Most woman are not in this profession to meet their future husbands. They are in it for the money & possibly the pleasure.

Not quite sure which part of it you're referring to as a fairy tale. I'm certainly not here to meet my future husband. Lol!! I'm here to have some fun. And I am only speaking from my own experience and from those of people I know.  

I happen to be having a very good experience here.  

I wish for you a fairy tale. :)

Posted By: Kitty76
You make this whore fest seem like a fairy tale. Most woman are not in this profession to meet their future husbands. They are in it for the money & possibly the pleasure.

ROGM584 reads

Am I addicted? I would say so. This hobby as we call it is way too much fun. Especially if the girls are super nice to you. My two ATF's are such sweethearts and so darn adorable. How can I not be addicted to them?

But I do think it's way too much fun. An addiction implies a compulsion that interferes with your regular life. For me it doesn't interfere with regular life, rather it enhances it. It gets me through the boring parts. Like when I'm doing yard work, and thinking about that upcoming atf session. It's also a lot of fun having an outlet to share ones experiences like these forums, and or reviews. But I only check in from time to time. It doesn't rule my life.

As for leaving the industry, some of the ones I know are happy in their new lives, and some have returned. And if you cannot beat the cravings, marry an open minded hobbyist, and continue having fun together.

Posted By: mojojo
But I do think it's way too much fun. An addiction implies a compulsion that interferes with your regular life. For me it doesn't interfere with regular life, rather it enhances it. It gets me through the boring parts. Like when I'm doing yard work, and thinking about that upcoming atf session. It's also a lot of fun having an outlet to share ones experiences like these forums, and or reviews. But I only check in from time to time. It doesn't rule my life.  
   
 As for leaving the industry, some of the ones I know are happy in their new lives, and some have returned. And if you cannot beat the cravings, marry an open minded hobbyist, and continue having fun together.

In civvie life, it would be impossible to have a circle of friends that I've enjoyed for the past decade.  All of them are or were special to me in their own way, and I have intention of leaving anytime soon.

As for hobbyists that have left the hobby that I knew, most either ran out of money, got caught, were outed, or had family responsibilities that took precedence.  As for ladies that I knew that retired, a few came back, while others left for good.  In all cases, family responsibilities were the reason.    

In the long run, most of us will eventually move on for whatever reason.  In the meantime, I am taking my own advice and enjoying the ride.  It's been a helluva run here!

I wish I could walk away for good. So it isn't the sex itself that bothers me. It's the preoccupation with the whole thing. Who will I see next? Is so-and-so-and-so going to be all that her profile and pics seem to present her as? Should I see the blonde or the redhead? Who's new in town?

What it takes to quit is something else that captures my mind and which I become more deeply preoccupied with. Creative work. Something that needs to be done. A few other things.

But when I finish with whatever I use as a diversion, I decide to get laid, and then I'm back in circle.

Even these visits to the boards get out of control. So, I I'll logout now before I get caught up in things.

I do not see it as addictive, something to "beat", or long for "new beginnings".
I do not see it as something to retire from.
I started fucking at 13 and never looked back.
Whether I'm here, working in a hospital, office, or restaurant,
I am going to be a magnet for the genitals of men
and jealousy of insecure women.

I love facilitating Orgasms for men and women.  

As long as Society turns it into a dirty, nasty activity that should be hidden,  
I will be happily spreading myself out for the world to enjoy.



-- Modified on 6/1/2016 12:08:02 AM

It fills a void when something's missing.  And that something is different for all of us, thus the vast array of approaches to being here.   As I've said many times around here, I am not sure there is a better feeling than knowing there's someone to share the good times with.. and the bad.  As long as it's a two way street, more or less lol, it's a great feeling to know that there's an arm you can reach for when you're falling.    

Sometimes it lasts for an hour at a time, sometimes for an hour at a time for years, and sometimes it's always there as reaching for that arm is hard when it's not always there.  But the hard part of life is not for the weak of heart - but when done right, the heart will never be stronger

I never understood sex addiction until I started doing this.. so why quit..I understand it now..

The love and trust of a like minded partner,
and to be fucked so hard we can't go to work tomorrow.
😉



-- Modified on 6/1/2016 9:13:59 AM

I want great orgasms.  
I do not want a girlfriend or wife.  
I want good memorable experiences which provide escape for a couple hours from a busy life. Kinda of like going to the movies that have great endings.
After it is all said and done, I want to go back to my life because I enjoy it.

If I were a good looking lady, between 25 and 55, I would most likely be in the business

NoYellowEnvelope558 reads

... it's what we enjoy from intimacy with women that's addictive.  It's well known that there's mood-altering chemicals rekeased when people are touched, held, kissed, and have sex.  If "hobbying" is the only practical way to have this kind of intimacy, then it will be addictive because of the high it gives.  

-- Modified on 6/1/2016 12:20:14 PM

that my only regret is not starting earlier. I know I'm still relatively new to all of this, but feel strangely at ease here. I have ran my own business since my early twenties, I love sex, I love meeting new people, and I truly love entertaining and creating a memorable experience for someone.  

I ventured down this road, thinking that it would be a momentary distraction. I wanted to explore a curiosity, and was also looking to creatively finance another business project of mine. I figured that I could kill two birds with one stone as it were. I now see this part of my life as so much more!!

At the moment, the only thing that I could see that would push me to retire, or take some time off, would be if I moved to a country where it was less safe and/or less lucrative. For instance, I have spent many years living in Mexico, and seriously doubt that I would do this there, unless trusted friends were coming down for a visit.  

The other reason, which I am struggling with at the moment, is just not having enough time outside of my other life. I am currently not taking new clients because I don't have time for screening etc. Hopefully I should have more free time here soon, because I do miss the thrill of meeting someone new every once in a while.  

So, I guess I can see slowing down, or changing how I participate in this lifestyle, but I doubt that I will ever make a retirement announcement. That just seems too final.  

To the point of the first question though; no, for me this is not an addiction. I enjoy it, and brings wonderful things into my life, people, experiences, financial benefits, but I don't consider it an addiction

...due to opportunities elsewhere to get the services I crave.
But I suspect that I will continue to dabble from time to time.

I eat, I get hungry again.  I sleep, I get tired again.  I shower, I get dirty again.  I have sex, I get horny again.  I must feed my needs, however I can, or my life will not be worthwhile.

However, if my hobbying becomes impulsive, and I'm spending money I don't have, then it's crossed into addiction.  I enjoy a daily beer or glass of wine, and sometimes get a little tipsy, but my ex-wife drank like a fish, and spent money we didn't have on alcohol.  Chemical dependency has to be the worst sort of addiction.

I hobby for my sex life.  If I wind up with a significant other, I might hobby less...but I'm polyamourous, and I would want to find someone who could hobby and swing with me.  So no, I don't think I'll ever "retire" from this game, at most I would just cut back a bit.

Was so depressed after my stroke when I was unable to work for like 3 years....Being a lover is so much A Part of who I am, I JUst felt a real void.....MY first session back left me feeling euphoric, like I finally got my "fix" So yes, I guess I am addicted to it!

Posted By: octavia.lexa
do you think this hobby is an addictive game we all are playing?  
   
 is it possible to beat it?and what would it take for you?  
   
 i like the attention and money,  i like making others feel loved and please others...but i realize something or someone is still missing in my life  
   
 i am hoping that i am strong enough to leave the industry in pursue of new beginnings ....but what if i cannot beat the cravings to return to the industry?  
   
 those of you who know providers or mongers that retired from the game, what did it take them?are they happy with their new lives?  
   
   
   
 

Anyway , joking aside  
I feel that I am also hooked on this hobby  
I try to control it best I can I usually have my limit  
on how much I am willing to spend weekly and I am pretty good  
but it seems like I am thinking about the hobby more than I should,  
and I think this is my bigger issue.  

I don't think there is a way out  from your sexuality , the force is too great its encoded in our DNA  
I am assuming that It's probably like heroin once you try it you cant stop . having sex with  
some of the most beautiful women that you ever slept with, It is very tough  
maybe impossible to kick that habit. Your wife is getting older more cranky so men  
go to their ATF and for that certain period of time they get what they desire  
their wieldiest dream come true with no strings attached and no drama .  

That is why I love this hobby so much

a gentleman emailed me the following:

"So here is my advice, learned the hard way.  When you meet the right one for you, remember that time is the most precious gift he can give you.  While having money is great, time cant be replenished.  If he makes time for you, then you know.  It's the little things that matter most, not how much material items can be acquired, but rather the sincerity of the effort he makes into putting a smile on your face.  

I'd much rather be a pauper and be totally happy than to be the richest person in the world who isn't.  Give me the late night talks at 2AM about life, a simple stroll along the beach, a day spent at a park lying underneath a shady tree and having a picnic.  Those are the things that really matter."

 

Posted By: octavia.lexa
do you think this hobby is an addictive game we all are playing?  
   
 is it possible to beat it?and what would it take for you?  
   
 i like the attention and money,  i like making others feel loved and please others...but i realize something or someone is still missing in my life  
   
 i am hoping that i am strong enough to leave the industry in pursue of new beginnings ....but what if i cannot beat the cravings to return to the industry?  
   
 those of you who know providers or mongers that retired from the game, what did it take them?are they happy with their new lives?  
   
   
   
 

It's just a decision about what you want in life.
I had a fun 3 year run in the hobby.
Met some amazing women and really got me out of my shell.
But... this "most incredibly intimate yet completely non-intimate" hobby made me realize what I really wanted - which is a committed relationship with someone I care about and who cares about me (yeah, sappy but true).
At least this is my plan/hope for now.  Have met a great lady, so will see where that ends.
I really did have some fun times though, and while I started as a just a complete horn dog, it was some of the openness from wonderful ladies where guards were let down a bit that surprised me the most and helped enrich the experiences.  But, those little echoes of true intimacy just made me yearn for the real thing.  It did get me out of my shell and off my butt, on to regular dating sites etc.  Gave me confidence to just go after what I want out of life.  Guess I'm a bit of late bloomer in that regard.

Will I stay out for good?  Who knows?  Life can change quickly, and I may at some point turn back to this hobby which was like a drug of choice for me that gave me some amazing "highs" that were beyond my wildest dreams.  But like I said, it also led me to a new dream/hope.  As of now I don't have a desire to return to it (although yes, sometimes on a sleepless night I still poke my head in here for fun).  Been a year since my last hobby date, so obviously that's not a real long time.  I'll give my current relationship all I have.  If it doesn't pan out, then I could be at an interesting fork in the road.  Only time will tell.

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