Totally cofused...Are you submissive?
I've got a session planned in a few days with a Dom. I've seen her a few times as just a normal session but I mentioned I'm curious about her bdsm sessions. I've had encounters with someone who really didn't know what she was doing but still interested to experience this aspect of the hobby from someone that knows what she's doing. I've mentioned some things off limits but still not sure what to expect. I've been seeing a sub and playing a dom role there but just want to see what the other side might be like. Any advice to a novice to this side of the hobby?
Make sure to communicate to her what it is that you're looking for. Be active in crafting the way you want your time spent. Depending on session length, I'd send her 3-5 topics that you want incorporated in your time together, and be specific. Quite honestly, if she's experienced, she should have asked you what your interests are; you really shouldn't be showing up completely unaware of what's going to happen. You've given her your hard limits, but you should also give her areas of play that you'd be interested in exploring as well. Just remember to try to keep it brief and concise.
Below would be a sample message that you could send to her prior to your session (should she allow that, of course):
"Dear Mistress So and So,
I'd really love a 1.5 hour session that incorporates the following activities:
Bondage with cuffs and rope (please don't tie my hands over my head; i have bad shoulders)
prostate massage/anal play
CBT
Nipple play
Doctor/patient role play
My hard limits are as follows:
No marks or bruising, no golden or brown showers, no breaking of the skin or blood play, and no electrical play.
Thanks so much for your time! I look forward to our session. If you have any further questions, please let me know.
Take care,
AZCalvin69"
I would imagine that as a dominant/top, you like to know what your submissive/bottom enjoys as far as play is concerned. If you're really into Daddy/daughter role play, I don't think you'd want to visit with a lady who absolutely hates it. Lots of kink and fetish-oriented ladies have specialties. Find out what her specialties are; hopefully your interests line up with hers!
Good luck, and have fun
Totally cofused...Are you submissive?
Yes but haven't been with a real Dom yet.
and don't be shy about telling her what you want. Since this is someone you know well, you should have no trouble talking to her openly about your experience level, and since you already play as a Top, you know how to choose a safeword (if you like to use them) and you should already have in mind how you feel about marks, etc.
Congrats to you for trying something new. I actuay see a lot of Male Doms who either want to experience something new or have their own bottom-y type activities they enjoy but would never dream of having their submissive perform for them (pegging is a big one!). Personally, I think bottoming makes for a better Top...experiencing the physical and mental aspects of all the different types of play makes a Top a little more empathetic to the bottom, which, at least for me, means a much deeper connection and the potential for much better play!
Plus, I love being able to say "Oh, I bet that hurts a little...let's do that some more!"
K