TER General Board

May I paraphrase the question? We should not talk about Changing - Love is changing people
Pavliena See my TER Reviews 430 reads
posted

It is a recipe to fail in any relationship if partners are CHANGING each other  

Question rather need be asked as- can/may woman/ men to motivate/influence/provoke/  other party to become or better/ or worse.

Of course !! Everybody knows saying - "Tell me who is your friend and I would tell you who you are"?

Future of the nations is raised  on laps of women.
 Women have major influence on who child would be , and  
how her partner male would act.  

Women are responsible for men and kids.

IF n men are pigs - that come from silent approval of  a woman  
-woman just do not care enough about him to communicate what she likes do not likes -  
she just ok take his money ( live in his house, have his CC )and let him be in his measurability .
.he them truly believes that he is loved for his payccheck, his house, his car, his income  
 and he loose respect to woman at all and as whole to all women .

YET he lives under this stress of loosing ALL  

Work, assets, income.. and as a result he fear loose even WIFE. Woman where he comes home and the one who should love him unconditinally  
 Male start this about himself as if he is  a ZERO- if he be striped away all his assets - nobody needs him.  
Love of woman is not granted- somehow American men DO LIVE UNDER SUCH pressure .. and when they seek wives outside of country - they do not look for better sex, prettier body and face .. they do not ;look save money either - they do spend money on foreign wives moving all their families to states raising her kids sending them to college - no they do seek assurance that she would NOT LEAVE HIM if he become poor.  
It is incredibly bad manner ask your husband to be you BF -  
"what is your income?'
While so many men told me here - my wife even would not notice me should I be poor."  
May be it is fine .. i just know for sure how men becoming insecure .. and then  who needs insecure men??!  
Woman create him to be that way  then she denies him love.. So I truly think from woman depends all - unsatisfied man would start a war... ( aging woman also has this tendencies - start wars to cure her own insecurities)

 
Wife which has to stay with you no matter what would happened to you - help you and support and NOT change you.

Love does change people.

Woman  can inspire men for many good and bad things... yet I thunk if man has a character - he would not drain his life down toilet ..  

 While woman - woman with wrong man women are more soft material -  

and if female will ended up with wrong man - she may just lost herself forever-- it would be for her as hundreds times harder to take charge of her life.

Man play amazing amazing important role in female life .

. All her life can be different  should she meet different man. Just remember that gentlemen. If you would be be more assertive and not passive  you would change  way of the things.

.. Man normally escaping wrong relationships when he feels he is being changed  -  
(yet it is less true for american man - American men are  sticking with obviously  wrong for him choice)

American man changing her..
 That never will take place - change adult person is not possible.,

 love them and LISTEN what they tell to you
. magic word-
 SHARE who you are and how you like it - loving person would adopt .

yet as a woman I do believe that future of the nations is in hands of women - as who would be men and what kind men and women would be from out kids  
 So happy be late mother day I guess ?  
When it is Daddy day?  

Love to all good daddies here !!  

[email protected]



-- Modified on 5/11/2016 2:29:52 PM

And can a man (here) change a woman

No, the person in question must do that themselves with admin.

Maybe you can teach the course on how to do so at JDU come the fall semester?

Many other people meet in real life too.

He can't afford me.  

Besides he's my competition. I have my own school of rock that's UTR. Being his protege you clearly wouldn't be accepted.  

My school is for leaders. Not followers. ;

He has been a great bitch so far and I use him as my "canary in the coal mine."

He nails the escorts first and reports back to me to make sure I won't be dissapointed. LOL

Maybe he should change his alias now ...or change it back I should say lol

And if I demand he change it every week, I will tell him to contact you for the details to get that accomplished. ;)

there's only at least a half a dozen of you regulars on here who accomplish that feat monthly, if not weekly as it is, certainly no need to harass me. I'm sure your contact will end up in my spam folder anyway lol

Posted By: JackDunphy
And if I demand he change it every week, I will tell him to contact you for the details to get that accomplished. ;)

Why don't you post under your "real" handle instead lol. It suits "you" perfectly. Carry on.  

Muah. I've missed you  ;)

Jacks_Acolyte447 reads

As if you don't change yours pretty much daily? Kisses. Not.

I'm a genius. ;)

 

 

 

 
PS. Kisses for you too (only if you be good) xlol

I will work with him privately and set him straight about you.

This is my fault Taylor, not my acolyte's.

My apologies.

Cause neither exist.  

But now easy boys...its time for bed lol  

 

PS. For Mr. "Acolytes" eyes only lol

With where I'm headed this weekend, maybe you'll recognize my new pics next week ;)

Btw I much prefer your old alias. Now he was something. Never pegged you for a follower. It is so funny how different you boys are behind the scenes (all cute and cuddly). On here you've got board muscles lol.

Sleep tight xo



-- Modified on 5/12/2016 1:08:11 AM

Posted By: _Taylor_
And can a man (here) change a woman
If the person willing to be changed is needy, sincerely wants to be changed, or is submissive!

I have a strong personality, so NO ONE can "change" me!  As far as me trying to "change a man" been there, done that, and it does NOT work!  As they say..."Leopards don't change their spots."

While I agree that people can't change by those who are "trying" to change them...I was after something a lil different. Thank you for sharing your thoughts as always

xo

Change can come about from learning. Here or anywhere else one (man or woman) can learn from another.

For understanding where I was coming from essentially.  

Can someone change (in this world particularly since it is being discussed here) when they weren't looking to change... or for change.  

I guess the real question is...can someone have the power to change someone else's life here. On the mens or womens side (in a positive way of course). And has anyone been the recipient or the giver in this fashion knowing they helped changed someone's life for good.

 

Posted By: xyz23
Change can come about from learning. Here or anywhere else one (man or woman) can learn from another.

FakawiTribe482 reads

Posted By: _Taylor_
And can a man (here) change a woman

GaGambler414 reads

Or I suppose a post op TS would have an even better perspective on this. lol

All she has to do is MARRY the happy, well adjusted guy and within a few years she'll change him into a miserable, wretched, sad sack of regret

Lol why is it always the woman's fault for a man's miserable  
marriage...if he let her change him, isn't that his fault? Lo

Senator.Blutarsky541 reads

...the person in question has to want to change. If they do, then the man or woman can have an influence. Aside from that, no amount of nagging, cajoling or badgering will have any impact.

Solo mis dos centavos.

what if changed just "happens". The person or persons weren't necessarily looking for change.  

Thank you for your response cutie ;)

Posted By: Senator.Blutarsky
...the person in question has to want to change. If they do, then the man or woman can have an influence.
 Solo mis dos centavos.

Senator.Blutarsky347 reads

If one is open, pretty much any interaction with others has the potential to cause a person to learn and grow. I know my interactions with the wonderful women I have had the pleasure to spend time with have all left their mark on my soul. 😎

Is certainly a terrible thing to waste Senator

Posted By: _Taylor_
And can a man (here) change a woman

the quickest way to end any relationship (friend, lover, co-worker, teammate, etc) is to go into it with the idea you can change the other person to fit your mold of acceptability.

having suffered through a multitude of psychobabel self help, self actualization courses and seminars, I don't even believe we can change ourselves at the most basic levels. Those things are established by nurture/nature at a very early age and are extremely difficult, if not impossible, to change.

as Popeye was want to say "I yam what I yam!"

It is a recipe to fail in any relationship if partners are CHANGING each other  

Question rather need be asked as- can/may woman/ men to motivate/influence/provoke/  other party to become or better/ or worse.

Of course !! Everybody knows saying - "Tell me who is your friend and I would tell you who you are"?

Future of the nations is raised  on laps of women.
 Women have major influence on who child would be , and  
how her partner male would act.  

Women are responsible for men and kids.

IF n men are pigs - that come from silent approval of  a woman  
-woman just do not care enough about him to communicate what she likes do not likes -  
she just ok take his money ( live in his house, have his CC )and let him be in his measurability .
.he them truly believes that he is loved for his payccheck, his house, his car, his income  
 and he loose respect to woman at all and as whole to all women .

YET he lives under this stress of loosing ALL  

Work, assets, income.. and as a result he fear loose even WIFE. Woman where he comes home and the one who should love him unconditinally  
 Male start this about himself as if he is  a ZERO- if he be striped away all his assets - nobody needs him.  
Love of woman is not granted- somehow American men DO LIVE UNDER SUCH pressure .. and when they seek wives outside of country - they do not look for better sex, prettier body and face .. they do not ;look save money either - they do spend money on foreign wives moving all their families to states raising her kids sending them to college - no they do seek assurance that she would NOT LEAVE HIM if he become poor.  
It is incredibly bad manner ask your husband to be you BF -  
"what is your income?'
While so many men told me here - my wife even would not notice me should I be poor."  
May be it is fine .. i just know for sure how men becoming insecure .. and then  who needs insecure men??!  
Woman create him to be that way  then she denies him love.. So I truly think from woman depends all - unsatisfied man would start a war... ( aging woman also has this tendencies - start wars to cure her own insecurities)

 
Wife which has to stay with you no matter what would happened to you - help you and support and NOT change you.

Love does change people.

Woman  can inspire men for many good and bad things... yet I thunk if man has a character - he would not drain his life down toilet ..  

 While woman - woman with wrong man women are more soft material -  

and if female will ended up with wrong man - she may just lost herself forever-- it would be for her as hundreds times harder to take charge of her life.

Man play amazing amazing important role in female life .

. All her life can be different  should she meet different man. Just remember that gentlemen. If you would be be more assertive and not passive  you would change  way of the things.

.. Man normally escaping wrong relationships when he feels he is being changed  -  
(yet it is less true for american man - American men are  sticking with obviously  wrong for him choice)

American man changing her..
 That never will take place - change adult person is not possible.,

 love them and LISTEN what they tell to you
. magic word-
 SHARE who you are and how you like it - loving person would adopt .

yet as a woman I do believe that future of the nations is in hands of women - as who would be men and what kind men and women would be from out kids  
 So happy be late mother day I guess ?  
When it is Daddy day?  

Love to all good daddies here !!  

[email protected]



-- Modified on 5/11/2016 2:29:52 PM

GaGambler335 reads

Anyone who not only reads an entire BBBBB post, but who portends to understand it as well is almost by definition BSC. The fact that she lost you may actually be proof that you are no longer affected by the BSC disease. lol

I rarely get more than a sentence or two into any of her posts before my eyes glaze over and I risk damaging the few brain cells I have left after over a decade of reading posts here.

Gambler .. admit  when you last time to finish to read a book? And share what kind books those were?  
 
 Please do not tell me that it is  just sex related or that most of your reading happens here- then you are self-destructive.  
Nobody told you that? s

 you do not strike me as an intelligent man lately .. so sad I was better opinion about you - my diagnose is find a time to read more then Boards ,( but made yourself to  read through my posts - maybe you will recover some brain cells  

 But who cares- I never meant to  write for  people who never have had any library memberships  

   
 "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."  

 George S. Patton

-- Modified on 5/13/2016 5:17:04 PM

We can only change ourselves; however, we can influence people around us.

I think the worst way to change someone is to try to force them to change. They may change for a little while, but as the old saying goes, "If you can convince someone into something, you can convince them out of it."

The only people who ever change, are the ones who want to change. But even if I was the most convincing person in the world, no person is going to change internally. Maybe externally, but it won't last long. They'll end up becoming bitter and hardened.

If I have to play games and manipulate to get a guy to change for me to like him, I say go elsewhere - that's too much work for me lol! I like to "enhance" people if I can, and that's nice when two people can enhance and encourage each other.

*edited to be more Politically Correct lol*

Posted By: _Taylor_
And can a man (here) change a woman


-- Modified on 5/11/2016 4:13:37 PM

But do think you have the power to change someone else's life when they weren't asking nor looking for it...

The way to do that is to believe in someone's ability to do it all by themselves. At least that was the most effective way to do it with me. :) It took a while for it to sink in though lol!

I had a mentor tell me, "Sometimes it's the right time to encourage someone, even correct them. But then you step away. It can take two years for a seed planted to grow, and you may never see it bloom."

Some of the most wise words said to me - that I saw develop in myself. :)

None of us would or could change without the help of other people. That's why there are so many of us! :)

And to add - the ability to recognize ripe soil is a gift. Lots of teachers will teach and change people, but they're looking for students who are willing and ready to learn. So yeah, you can inspire change in someone else's life, for sure. But you have to know what to look for, and they have to be ready. Can't pull just anybody off the street randomly and expect them to become who you think they should be. (You meaning plural/general)

Posted By: _Taylor_
But do think you have the power to change someone else's life when they weren't asking nor looking for it...


-- Modified on 5/11/2016 6:36:24 PM

Senior year of college, I was head over heels in love, we were talking wedding dates, everything was fabulous. Then one day when I'm wearing my usual college uniform, blue jeans and a t-shirt, she looks at me and says "when we get married we're getting you a completely new wardrobe." I can't actually tell you the calendar date, but I can tell you the second when that relationship was over, and it was the exact second that sentence was completed. We stayed together a while longer, but it was all downhill. It may sound like a little thing, but it was this disturbing feeling that she seemed to think that she needed to change me. It made me reconsider how well matched we really were, I started to pay more attention to other signs, and I finally just said it's over.

I had a dude take me into Banana Republic. I like sleek, classic, and sexy. I am not a prep by a long shot.

So we're standing at the rack at Banana Republic, and I said "This just isn't me." Granted, I dress pretty nicely. (And he also wasn't about to pay for the clothes he was picking out for me - which was another fail lol!)

He said "There are benefits to dressing high end."

You can imagine the conversation after that! lol! But yeah, things like that kind of ruin it. You said the relationship ended at that point, but sounds like you may have tried to carry it out for a while. This is what I'm talking about. People will fake it for a little while, but they'll drop you out of nowhere the second they see it clearly.
 

Posted By: ClassicRock57
Senior year of college, I was head over heels in love, we were talking wedding dates, everything was fabulous. Then one day when I'm wearing my usual college uniform, blue jeans and a t-shirt, she looks at me and says "when we get married we're getting you a completely new wardrobe." I can't actually tell you the calendar date, but I can tell you the second when that relationship was over, and it was the exact second that sentence was completed. We stayed together a while longer, but it was all downhill. It may sound like a little thing, but it was this disturbing feeling that she seemed to think that she needed to change me. It made me reconsider how well matched we really were, I started to pay more attention to other signs, and I finally just said it's over.

Senator.Blutarsky287 reads

Here is a song I like that captures the spirit of it...

marries a man because she thinks she can change him to what she wants.  She hopes to work him out of his "flaws."  A man, on the other hand, marries a woman hoping she will not change, because he likes the hot, sexually aggressive girlfriend.  Unfortunately, neither one gets what they want in most cases, and that's why most married men end of up here.

Just my take.  Feel free to disagree.

He was a lightning Rod, wasn't he? LOL

GaGambler464 reads

I guess he doesn't get out too much anymore. He probably just sits around playing tiddly winks with the other barnyard animals to pass the time.

Sorry that has nothing to do with "her" I'm afraid.

What does "normally" even mean in this regard lol. That's a rather negative jaded statement and take on things.  

You're forking out cashish here aren't you? Lol what's the difference.

bbfs4ever328 reads

People are who they are at a very early age.  As others have said, people can become more tolerant of others, but their intrinsic personalities were formed well before 10 years of age.

It's fun watching people of any gender try and change someone.  Sometimes.

Posted By: _Taylor_
And can a man (here) change a woman

someone could see or view or want to live their life differently after meeting someone...even a stranger?

Rather bold don't ya think. Then again look who I'm speaking to ;)

Sex = Power.

Not to say it goes for every man, yet how often I have heard: I was thinking with the little head and proceeded when I could have/should have bolted as it was then all downhill from there.

So the change may take place with the most masculine guy turning into a puppy dog just by the vixen’s secret throaty whisper into the ear, or maybe the bat of an eyelash, or flick of the tongue between the lips. She’s in control and he’s a changed man.

Not to say it goes for every woman, but tools of the female manipulative trade are “seduction, flattery, deception, evasion, unavailability and innuendo—all cunning levers to bend men to their wills.”

However, if the above is a great experience with a provider, for example, then go with it; go with the change if it puts you in a good state of mind because it’s just a fantasy and she has no interest in making it anymore beyond a paid session. In the civvie world, though, the above may have men accepting things they don’t normally consider doing just to get a piece of arss.

Most of this info, I’ll credited to Ask.men: Dealing with Your Woman’s Manipulation by Mr. Fitzgerald.

As far as men changing woman, it can be that way; particularly with a charming, handsome and even a wealthy man for first impression who later demands control and the woman abides, but I’m assuming it’s mostly the other way around because of what that chemical testosterone does to men.

 
-- Modified on 5/11/2016 8:54:17 PM

-- Modified on 5/11/2016 8:54:57 PM

can't keep his mind (here) on nothin else
he'll trade the world (here)
for the good thing (here) he's found

Of course there are exceptions to every generalization, but, for the most part, here on TER, the ladies and gentlemen are on their best behavior. The rules guiding TER session do change us. Not so difficult a proposition when one only has an hour or two not to screw up. We're in the best of moods. The guys because they're going to get laid, and the gals because they're going to pick up 4 to 6 bills relatively quickly. And when you get a gal who's also excited about getting laid, that's a double bonus. And when you get a gentleman who wants to stay two hours, or returns regularly, that's a double bonus.  

If we had to deal with each other 24/7 it would be a different story. All our little idiosyncrasies would manifest themselves, and there's no changing an idiosyncrasy. Besides, I'm of the belief that just by being here, we're all crazy nuts. So I won't try to change your crazy if you don't try to change mine.

Ok - Now I don't believe you can "change" someone by trying to force them to change.  

But has my life and mindset, and even courage changed due to certain clients? Many men have changed my life, and helped me see things differently, and helped me let my walls down a little bit (in appropriate areas). And I have carried that into other areas of my life, and grown from them.

But it wasn't because they tried to change me, it was because they didn't try to change me at all. In the end I changed, but I didn't change into the picture someone else painted of me.

Can I say there are a few men in P4P who have changed my life? Yes. Even some board posters that a lot of ladies hate here too ha ha ha. There are most definitely men I've met whom if I had not met them, I may not be who I am today.

But I didn't become something they formulated in their head, then tried to mold me into it. They simply accepted, pursued, and appreciated me. Encouraged me and fucked the shit out of me. (Tourettes, sorry)  

So ok, now that I see this clearly, you aren't asking it in the light of someone seeing someone and trying to fit them into a different mold, but just their ability to have that influence and power.

I see said the blind man. (We changed our cat from being a piece of shit with PTSD into a cuddly little love muffin, just by being decent, good people.)

As he picked up his hammer and saw

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