I'm finding and have made the mistake myself of only addressing male hobbyist when there are also female hobbyist. I love both sexes and I feel badly that I directed a post towards one sex and not both. If you're a provider just be sure to include everyone in your posts and not just lean it towards a certain group of people. The more points of view the broader the spectrum of insight and knowledge you can gain.
It is such a compliment when a women book you. Although, it's usually for her husband (in my case). She was the one who made the final decision.
At times the ladies are much more fun....sorry fellas ;-
I love women. I feel like my sexual deviant comes out more freely with women.
I find myself in complete agreement.
8o)
How come she never told me anything ? Lol
lol she politely let me know to make sure my post are directed towards everyone.
She has not just made her point, but she has made it ad nauseam.
I like lopaw, but I can't be the only one who is getting a bit tired of her correcting every single post made to the "gentlemen" here, I am not a gentleman and I don't feel the need to make sure posts are made to both "gentlemen and assholes" so forgive me if I (and many others I might add) have about had my fill of her "corrections"
Sorry lopaw, I like you, but enough is enough already.
I've gone through a decent amount of posts. I honestly don't think it's a big deal that she gives a little reminder to include everyone. As far as I've seen a good amount of providers enjoy women as well. Throwing a reminder out to include both sexes is actually really good advice in my opinion. It can draw in more business and women hobbyists remain recognized. I see no harm in what she's doing.
The alternative is to stop assuming offense when it is clearly not intended.
There are two sides to being a mensch ... when speaking, not intending offense, and when listening not searching for offense.
Remember the word "guys" as a salutation? (e.g. "Are you guys coming?") Back in the distant past it might have referred only to males. In my (not so young) lifetime, it has always been gender inclusive. There was no campaign by social justice warriors to shame people into using it thusly.
I'll wager that not a single person on this forum uses the term "gentlemen" to intend offense or as a term of exclusion. In fact the opposite forces people to use more specific terms -- if they want to service just men, then they can't honestly use gender neutral terms, and therefore become targets of additional social justice shaming.
Of course in real life, if you run into a social justice warrior, run the other way. Because they are hyper-critical, always seeking offense, always judging, and just out and out ball busters. Stay away.
(SJW trigger warning: Go to your safe-space. Microagression and mansplaining in progress.)
Not to mention, there is no end to it. Once you placate one minority class with "PC speak" ten more pop up and start in with the "what about me?" I want to be called xxx.
And for the record I say this as a minority myself, PC speak claims I am supposed to be offended by the word "oriental" but guess what? I have a lot more important things to do in my life than to be offended by someone who had no intention of offending me. Being thin skinned doesn't change peoples attitudes, it only makes you a pain in the ass to be around.
All humans judge. It's just that social justice warriors, while shaming others for judging, are the most toxic insufferably judgmental people on the face of the planet.
Well I'm sorry you feel that way but until there is an obvious way to determine who is who in terms of gender here I will continue to alert some providers that there are women hobbyists here. I'm sure some won't give a shit, but for many it is a true enlightenment since they have no idea that there are lady hobbyists here. I have met some great ladies thru it and have ended up with some great playdates too. There will always be an influx of new providers here and since they aren't telepathic it will just have to suffice. Change doesn't happen thru silence or apathy.
I like you too GaG but all I can recommend is that if it bothers you or offends you then put me on ignore.
but if you'd like, I'll get TER's official archivist to count just how many posts you have made "making your point" Do you REALLY want to know how many times you've said it?
Debbie The Nooner Girl has a tag line in her sign off, maybe you should consider doing the same? "Yes, I am a whore monger and no I am NOT a guy!!!"
lopaw, it's not just me, a lot of guys have mentioned it, I guess I am the first one to say it to your face. Don't shoot the messenger.
I'm not here seeking yours or anyone else's approval.
Like I said...if you or anyone else don't like it, feel free to put me on ignore.
You're starting to beat your own dead horse now.
and I suppose if you don't like it, feel free to put me on ignore instead.
I know you don't care, but the fact that his post had 9 likes says something. And yes he was the one to say it but many were thinking it. Most were either too chickenshit to bring it up or don't want to hurt your feelings. No, I won't pull up the stats on how many times you have reminded everyone that you are a lady hobbyist, but it's a lot. And anything that someone does a lot, is bound to get on other people's nerves eventually. As to putting you on ignore, I certainly don't see GaGa doing that. I don't think he believes in the ignore button and neither do I. I am certainly not going to put you on ignore. Just because one thing you say bothers me after a while, doesn't mean I don't want to read anything else you say. I enjoy reading most of your stuff. This is a discussion board. We should be free to discuss things we agree with and disagree with. I still think the ignore button is one of the silliest things that TER created. It's more of a tool for 12 year olds on Facebook. Why adults need a button to ignore someone has always been a huge puzzle to me.
First of all, with very few exceptions, I think you would acknowledge that you have been accepted here by peeps on both sides. I think you add a uniqueness and breath of fresh air to this place.
You and I have a good relationship bc as well.
That being said, it does seem like overkill in how many posts you feel to mention to a provider or others that you are a female john. Sometimes the tone of your posts to that person is condescending or wreaks of annoyance.
It's one thing to mention you are a gal hobbyist on a rare occasion here or there bc someone has the wrong idea about you, but it's quite another to do so frequently and to do so with righteous indignation.
You, like anyone here who posts, is open to criticism and that criticism didn't seem to be mean spirited in this thread at all and it came from people, like myself, GaG and PS who are fans of yours and who have in the past, and will continure to have in the future, your back here.
So with that in mind, take the comments fwiw.
Who else are the female hobbyist here? Just being curious..In good way of cours
Call me St Thomas ... the doubting one ... LOL
Perhaps if I put my fingers in the holes ... I better stop here ... luvya, lopaw.
Lopaw is probably the most noticeable at the moment but there are a few others. Hotplants, and Vegasgirllover, to name two more, and a few others I can't think of right now. There were also a few on TER in the past, way before lopaw was around. There are also a few couples like critter137. Still they are definitely a small minority of the hobbyist community.
LOL Kenya, you're not the only one. When I was a newbie on the board, I got confused as fuck whenever Lopaw or Hotplants posted. I think it took me about 6 months before I finally figured it out.
But way to go!! 👍👍👍
I appreciate your openness, Layla, & am in total agreement with lopaw. As you're tired of lopaw's mentioning there are women hobbyists here, Gag, so I'm tired of only seeing the word "gentlemen" time after time after time. When a provider also includes "women" in her ads I definitely take notice.
Just as an aside, I should point out that my general rants here against social justice warriors were not directed at any particular person on this thread or board. It is just something I see too much of out in the real world.
the times they are a changin'. Awesome!!! People can nay-say lopaw all they want for her reminding everyone, but the more it's discussed, the more people will begin to get it- more often. And hence this kind of thread!! And as the lady hobbyists are in the minority, they damn well have to fight to keep their ground- I can't blame them for speaking up often. Who else is going to?
You go, girls!!
One thing that would help is having an avatar attached to our profile name or handle. That way people can make some distinction via their avatar if they want.