You are right about me cutting some huge slack had it been a woman who expressed such distress on her first session. Women are socialized from birth to be demure, non-aggressive and non-assertive, especially when it comes to issues of a sexual nature. It takes some huge huevos for a chick to even head down this hobby path. So had it been a woman hobbyist who had lost her shit I wouldn't have been as surprised.
Yes, EVERYBODY is no doubt nervous their first time (I know I was) but usually not to the point of a meltdown.
-- Modified on 4/17/2016 4:20:47 PM
Yesterday, I had the unfortunate experience of booking a new client who ended up being a total wreck. When I screen, if I see that they're annoyingly paranoid that can't be reassured with anything, I won't book them. But we spoke and everything checked out; he didn't seem too concerned with anything. When he got here he was visibly shaking, I could hear his heart racing. I tried to make him feel at home as soon as he stepped in: warm hug and a kiss, lively conversation, teased him a bit, and tried to make as much physical contact as he would let me. It was a painfully awkward experience that lasted 5 minutes without any real physical contact.
I felt bad for the guy because he was clearly new and this definitely wasn't the experience I wanted his first time to be.
How could I have made this a better experience for him and for future nervous gentlemen?
Seriously.
When I started down this path many years ago, I also shook like a leaf.
A gal gave me a few shots of Jack Daniels, and I calmed right down and had some fun. For years I made it part of my preparation to have a shot or two about 15 minutes before showing up.
After a couple of years, I weened myself off of it.
Try it
Reminds me of my first meeting with an escort. For the first 15 minutes I was staring at her and she was staring at me. I was waiting for the SWAT team to drop through the ceiling tiles and slide down ropes to arrest me.
Once my dick was in her mouth I forgot all about the SWAT team. It was off to the races and happy hobbying ever since.
He was just new and green and maybe he will be more relaxed the 2nd or 3rd time around? I would of told him to come back, it only gets better. 
I felt bad for the guy because he was clearly new and this definitely wasn't the experience I wanted his first time to be.
How could I have made this a better experience for him and for future nervous gentlemen?
I loved waking up to this post. 😍😂😂
Guys like that need a little laugh to loosen up. Shout "Freeze, Asshole" and whip out a badge and a toy gun. Have your camera ready to catch the adorable look on his face. BTW what happened after those awkward 5 minutes?
That would be hilarious! Unless he was ucleo...
He awkwardly got dressed and left.
I like to ask very sweetly, "would it make you feel less nervous if I put your dick in my mouth?"
I think one of my reviewers even wrote about it who was a total newbie when he met me.
Works like a charm every time. Who could say no to that offer? ;
Perfect!🙃
I'm going to steal this from you. . .
I'm going to steal this from you. . .
I just noticed that almost every guy relaxes a lot after his dick is in my mouth. I intentionally wait to ask sensitive questions (like "have you ever had your prostate played with?" / "do you like to play with toys?") until after their dick has spent some time in there. Seems to help everything go a lot smoother, haha.
If a guy is freezing up on me, IMO that's the WRONG time for a slow and sensual approach. He probably doesn't know what to do & might not be used to a woman who takes the lead. He can easily over-think the situation and make himself even MORE nervous. A slow seduction is risky in this case. A slow seduction is for men who clearly value that. When a guy is super nervous I find it's really best to just put his dick in my mouth. Like I mentioned, almost no one will ever say no to that when asked. And it's amazing what a few minutes of quality cock-sucking will do to someone's nerves/mood/etc.
-- Modified on 4/17/2016 5:30:22 PM
...literally.
If someone like me can somehow muster up the courage to put herself out there calmly and confidently then why a guy freaks the fuck out is beyond me.
nobody says boo if a woman got raped and couldn't be touched, or if a soldier returns from incountry and can't handle sudden noises and relationships. but if a boy has a traumatic upbringing, somehow he's supposed to be able to walk himself through the psychological mine field of his own damaged psyche and become macho, other wise he's a wimp.
i can speak to this, having come from a childhood of bipolor violent alchoholic parents. i wish i didn't have ptsd in my early adulthood from emotional trauma as a kid, but i did. i couldn't relate physically or emotionally to women at all.
it took me literally decades to be able to be confident with women, and i am happy to give all the credit to the wonderful girls i've met in the hobby. therapists simply shined me on, telling me i just needed a girl friend. well, i couldn't get a girlfriend, that was the frakking problem.
lopaw, i am surprised that someone as unconventional as you is buying into the cw that men have no problems, else they aren't men. i doubt that you would deride a woman who was overly unsure of herself.
trust me, physical and emotional trauma is not easily ignored.
to the op, i would suggest she did nothing wrong. to her client, i would suggest therapy, without judgement
You are right about me cutting some huge slack had it been a woman who expressed such distress on her first session. Women are socialized from birth to be demure, non-aggressive and non-assertive, especially when it comes to issues of a sexual nature. It takes some huge huevos for a chick to even head down this hobby path. So had it been a woman hobbyist who had lost her shit I wouldn't have been as surprised.
Yes, EVERYBODY is no doubt nervous their first time (I know I was) but usually not to the point of a meltdown.
Bottom line is like others have said- this hobby is not for the weak hearted or the crippling paranoid amongst us.
.
-- Modified on 4/17/2016 4:20:47 PM
what about the traumatized that aspire to normalcy?
and really, you'd cut some slack to a girl but not a boy? seriously?
and i'm not talking about nervous...i'm talking about pstd, resulting from emotional and/or physical abuse.
that's what the op's client sounded like to me, someone who was in the same position years ago
No I didn't read it that way.
I surmised that it was a simple case of someone losing their nerve, and totally losing their shit about it.
Honestly, I don't want to go down this PC road again. If you are afraid of pussy, yes you are a wimp by every definition I can think of. How a person got to be that way is beside the point.
I remember a few years ago a bunch of people got all freaked out over the "R" word. I had no idea even what the fuck the "R" word was until then. Just in case you don't know, I am talking about "retard" a bunch of the uber sensitive decided they were going to try to brow beat the rest of us into no longer calling a retard a retard. I am sorry, but anyone truly retarded, not guys like fg and fatvern, but truly retarded people with room temperature IQs are capable of being here or understanding what the fuck we are talking about in the first place, so just how are they going to be offended.
BPJ, apparently you got over whatever was causing you to be a wimp, Coddling people is not what I do, The guy is still a fucking wimp in my eyes. Do I sympathize with him? yes, maybe a bit and if he were asking for advice on the newbie board I would do my very best to help him adjust and to "grow a pair" but I would do it nicely. On this board, we are under no obligation to be nice, especially to some wimp who isn't even posting on the thread. So let me just say I completely agree with lopaw, this wimp needs to grow a pair.
This hobby is not for everyone. It's on him. You can ask nicely if there's anything you can do to make him feel better but if he wants to walk, then ok too. Some guys might well have a SO & have internal issues with what he's thinking of doing.
If he decides against what he's been planning, he's learned something aboout himself. Unfortunately it's cost you appointment time & therefore potential income but all you can do is be nice about it & not make him feel worse.
I'm usually pretty good at putting guys at their ease but this guy was jittery about whether I was kosher and not going to rip him off - did he even read my reviews I wonder??
It does make for an awkward session because the jittery does rub off a bit. Tiring to deal with and try to maintain relaxed air )
Quoting Cookie from "Empire." This game is not for the faint hearted.
-- Modified on 4/17/2016 4:26:59 PM
Just how much courage does it take to have sex with a hooker? We aren't talking about dodging sniper fire here.
I was pretty shy in my younger days, especially around women. I'm still an introvert, but after a few marriages and affairs, the women have sort of fallen off the pedestal.
But some people are shy to the point of dysfunction. They experience actual physical manifestations, such as shaking, sweating, tension in the chest. These are autonomic reactions and aren't controllable directly by conscious thought. (Though some beta-blocker medicines can minimize the reaction.) These responses can be unlearned, but it takes real effort. Another word for it would be stage-fright. It can come in many different degrees.
Paranoia will run deep,"Am I being followed", "my phone has her number, ah shit", "Suppose someone sees me" and the oh shit, "I need to get this bad boy up or I'm out $$$"....Hey I was alittle uptight my first time so I get it.....I just hope the dude didn't shit his pants...and no I didn't.
...although freezing in your tracks it a different story. :O
I would never call attention to someone's nervous energy. It would just likely tend to make them more self-conscious. I would just recommend to act calm and take a very gentle initiative. I won't give lessons on how a female can be seductive because just about anything works on me, but from a guy's perspective if we are trying to seduce someone, we start with eye contact, lighthearted banter, incidental touching, etc. It's all innocent and at the same time the (willing) victim is perceiving a whole host of potential outcomes -- a typhoon of emotions.
Of course this guy left early, so he might have been struggling with other demons (including questions of his own faith if he had one, etc.)
Which reminds me of my first affair. We were at her house. I kept worrying about him coming home from work. But even though I was physically manifesting nervous energy, I still recall it as a great time. So I wouldn't worry about it ruining the experience. It doesn't matter in the long run.
You didn't do anything wrong sweetie. Maybe reality set in and he realized this is no longer a fantasy and couldn't take the next step. And that's okay. Sometimes it just takes a sincere bear hug while sitting on his lap facing him.
It always slows things down and they become more comfortable. I hope this helps
damp, as in very damp, that I remember ...
Breakfast, I'm neither nervous nor do I remember what I ate. Pussy ... hmmmm, it's all cumming back to me now. Pussy is dope!
It always slows things down and they become more comfortable. I hope this helps
i was nervous too, i don't know what to expect like how she looks like, or what should I do to make her to like me or ........ but hey, like you said sweetheart, like every provider, first thing we laid on our eyes, she gave me a hug and kisses that put me at ease so fast and rest is history.....
but I can't say for rest of men here, but all providers do their best to put us at ease.
you did what you can sweetheart, if he is still nervous, it's not your fault.
I think was sincerely asking for how to better handle the situation. Very likelythe client was a newbie even though it wasn't on that forum. While there's no need for kid gloves, there's no need to be rude.
After thinking on this, the only additional thing I'd add is possibly offering a back rub... to give him time to think. Though in this case, it probably wouldn't have helped. I think a massage type service is a good way to break in for a newbie.
Asian agency girls always start nervous guys out with a light massage. It puts them on their face, so no eye contact, your privates are not exposed, but you still feel the nakedness of the provider on top of you. Gives them a chance to refocus on the sensual feeling and lose some of their apprehensions. Once their heart stops racing, the provider has them flip over for a BJ, and all is good.
I had my lingerie on with thigh high and garter, but no undies. I walked in front of him and bent over to grab something out of my bag in the closet and just kept talking to him like I was apologizing that I forgot something.
That took care of the problem. Here. Let me show you my vagina.
Another thing that works like a charm is preparing my aura. What I mean by this is, when I have someone who is seriously nervous, I drop shit, spill stuff on myself, hiccup, forget something, bump into a wall, whatever.
Embarrassing yourself and laughing about it - well - that pretty much helps them feel more comfortable too lol!
That's what I did. I'm not sure what it was, being uneducated on the hobby most likely. I was literally shaking that first time. Was I afraid of pussy? Oh hell no! That's ridiculous! Pussy and women should rule this world (I think they do actually)
My nerves just got the best of me. I jumped in before educating myself on experienced girls, what to do, what to look for and so on.
I'm still a newbie here without a lot of experience. But I think being a wimp or "growing a set" has nothing to with it. Everyone here has different lives and their reasons for being a bit worried for what might happen to them. Who knows what this guys issues were? I think I'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt tho. Prolly just new tho and didn't do his homework.
For the OP, u handled urself perfectly IMO
As for you Lopaw, I don't normally call people names, but I'm sensing ur a real bitch! Let's see u grow a set of balls! And GaGambler, ur a freaking retard! Haha. JK! Love ya neighbor!
#justsayin