I was servicing a guy..looked up at him...and a big phat hoagie went right on my face!!! When he said be nasty..i wasnt expecting that shit!..on my damn expensive laura marcier makeup that i took my pretty time to create lol...

When guys are all up around your face and in yours ears with slobbery tongues that grosses me out a lot. DFK is one thing but being treated to a basset hound licking isn't

wife and I were enjoying an encounter with a lady, a declared squirter, who was having such a good time that she "squirts", including her monthly visit from Aunt Flo.  The mood was totally gone, and our date ended soon thereafter.

For me is people who try to deposit spit on ur mouth when they kiss you. I had to stop to tell the guy not to do that shit again. Not cool

it's just not necessary and is so so gross! haha, like yes i've nice lips that my friends love to kiss but c'mon i'm not interested in bathing in your saliva

I tell them to stop that shit lol... I don't like having a terrible time lmao

A.  Guy  shit my bed upon orgasm  

B.  Guys unit smelled like rotting flesh  

"We kissed, but it wasn't very sensual. It was at that point that I smelled the perfume on her neck and almost gagged. It was like some kind of oven cleaner or rat poison. I cannot imagine how she thought it might be attractive. Periodically throughout the rest of the session a whiff of it passed into my nostrils and each time I literally wanted to retch."

this particular question from a guy named Fart On Me.  

But since you asked . . .

Its definitely when she starts her period in the middle of a session.  Had it happen more than once.  I would rather them cancel and reschedule if it the day they are supposed to start. Most know their cycle and when to expect the "visit."

a lot of providers spit on my manhood during bbbj. it's also in just about every bj scene in porn. personally, i've never liked it. i mean, i'm not gonna call off the session if you do it (unless the bj is bad in every other way), but it's not my thing. moisten your hand if you need some lubrication, but spitting in general is just gross.  

just one person's opinion...

I used to put on a nice light layer of face makeup for each date, until i had a client repeatedly lick 1/4 of my face until the end of the date and i was streaky... and drippy...

I can't do that much saliva, and have since only put on minimal makeup.

The thought of it still sends shivers down my spine in a creepy way.

...I was wasted and met a hottie at the bar one night and took her back to her dorm room.  After finger-blasting her for a while I then mounted her for a quick release on her belly (back in the day safe sex was withdraw, i.e. no condom).  I blew my load and walked back to my house and when getting ready for bed I notice all this dried blood on my hand and dick.

Good looking redhead was giving me a outstanding bbbj in front seat of car.  We'd been drinking a little.  She went to deep and invoked the gag reflex and puked all over my lap.  Talk about a mood killer.  Second, while engaged in a spirited session with a pretty lady who was riding me cowgirl she decided to sneeze and blow a huge booger on my chest.  Quite embarrassing for her and she was apologetic.  Kinda killed the mood though.

Aunt flow show up. What a mess.

He licked me like a dog with his smelly breath

A little licking during foreplay ton build excitement is great, but this dude literally licked me head to toe, including my face, like a dog. to make matters worse, he had nasty smelly breath, so my entire body smelled like the neighborhood stray had given me a tongue bath.  
Quick tip: If she has a pool of your saliva in her belly button......YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

well 1 was this 1 guy who had an obsession for licking my armpits, did not like that at all and then he would lick the rest of me too.  My body would smell like cat breath...  So gross.

Another was a guy who stuck his finger in my ass, he did not book Greek so should not have been back there and then when I told him to stop he started sniffing his finger then tried to jam it up my pussy...  thank god I am a fast block because that whole mess is nasty!

I'd heard from a buddy about this "Amazing" provider in town.  
Now my buddy is s a nice guy but his taste in women is realllllyyyy shaky.  
But I figured what the hell
So she opens the door and let's say I'm just less than thrilled. BUT she has an incredible chest and I'm there sooooo...
Now the problem is she thinks she's Cindy Crawford. She's bragging about all her celebrity clients, mega millionaires and I'm thinking I d need another six drinks from r me to be seeing what they saw.
Her next action is a slow strip tease out of this sundress. She lowers the top and I'm drooling now.  
She lifts and the skirt and twirled her nekkid self around and all I can see is a small strip of toilet paper sticking out of her rump
Needless to say Mr Happy was quite a bit less happy and I decided to stick to BBFS this time around.

1) Went to go down on a guy who was uncircumcised... Pulled the skin back and it literally looked like he had dipped his dick in an entire block of cream cheese. I almost threw up.  

2) Strap on session...apparently the guy didnt get the memo that you need to prep ahead of time. The room was super dark so didn't realize at first that there was a mess everywhere. The crazy part is that when I went to leave I saw his underwear on the floor that he had on prior to the session and they were covered in mess too.  

Interestingly many people on this thread mentioned slobbery spit filled kisses and yet I find that to be extremely common. Those same people complain about ladies who don't like dfk but this is the reason why they don't. Dfk doesn't have to mean drowning in spit and tongue touching the tonsils. Hopefully some people will read this and realize how uncomfortable this makes some people.  

Now I'm curious - with a board name of "fart on me", are these stories that are considered gross by us a source arrousal for you? Lol. No judgement, just wondering...

a very long time ago I was with this woman.  And at work there was this other girl that was really hot and I could tell from stuff she said that she was really into me.  The woman I was with was away for a few days and I hooked up with the girl from work.  Damn but she had an awesome body and about the nicest boobs I have ever had the pleasure of playing with, and all natural to boot.  We had epic sex, and I still fantasize about it.  She slept over and in the morning as I was spooning with her my hand feels something sticky and wet.  During the night aunt flo had showed up.  And Aunt Flo brought her sisters Bobbie Sue, Annie May, and Sally Jean.  I mean holy damn, the blood was freaking everywhere.  Covered the sheets, covered me, even got into the mattress.  You would have thought someone had been murdered in the bed.  The cleanup took hours and I had to get a new mattress.  And I still have nightmares about that!