I've been down that same road, too. Once you get over feeling like a fool (about 18 months in my case) I discovered TER and have lived happily ever after. Of course I also got a good laugh when she got busted at a sleazy by the hour motel about a year she was done with me.
Been there, done that and gladly moved on. Patriotsfan...wouldn't happen to be in Boston are you?
We are only human afterall and there are some providers that will take advantage of people in general just as plenty of hobbists out there guilty of trying to get things for free or for a little less from providers.
Bottom line, as discussed many times on this board with all the psycho babbles....don't fall in love with a provider is the safest bet of all.
The person introduced me to this told me from day one "It is all about the money"....and he reminded me many times whenever I mentioned liking someone more and I am glad he is there to knock some senses into me 
My take is there are all kind of reason why women choose this profession but money is certainly one of those reasons.....may not the main reason but it is one of the reason. Otherwise, why charge...sure it is fun...yadyda...blah blah but in the end, it is about the money.
I am sure some will flame this post but you are paying for a "fantasy" ...nothing more and nothing less. Enjoy it for the hour you paid and move on because most providers will likely forget you before the door hit you in the ass because they are worrying about counting the money, get clean up and get ready for the next "fantasy" trip by the time that door closes.
Heard a great song on NPR last night on the blues hour. Title was "A good fool is hard to find" I really did identify with the story. Remember that the money was a gift and enjoy what time you have together.Remember she is in a buisness.That's probably how you met her , right?You shouldn't try to change her anymore than you would want someone to change you. Go out and have some fun in life and things have a way of working themselves out. That's Life. My motto is " Life is a banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death" I ocasionally like to go for an "All you can Eat" Just my $.02
When you help someone out, don't expect anything in return... If you actually ARE expecting something in return, then you're not really looking out for her... you're looking out for yourself.
just a thought
I am still reeling from a bad experience with my former ATF. I was duped into thinking I was one of her favorite clients. She called me a friend. I gave her quite a bit of emotional support in the beginning when she was still struggling with the business. When her business mushroomed, she made up a pretext to dump me.
Let's ignore the phrase "below client status" and put this into perspective: "If a client calls, I'm shown the door." Do you invite your friends to hang out with you at work? When the boss shows up, would you introduce them and say they're just here to keep you company while you work, or would you ask them to leave because you have work to do? How embarrassed and unprofessional would you feel to have your boss see your friends hanging out with you when you're supposed to be on the job?
I used to date a woman who had a home business in network sales. This was her career, and she was successful enough to make a living at it. Because she was home all day, people often considered her time to be largely leisure time, and it drove her crazy to have to explain to people that her living room really WAS her office, and that she really DID have work to do.
Relax. If the lady is truly your friend, she won't forget your kindness. Like any woman, if she wants you in her life, she will make room for you...and if she doesn't, there is nothing you can do to change her mind. All you can do is accept her choice, as she would have to do if the situation were reversed.
It sounds as though your "love" for her comes with some demands, which isn't really "love." No doubt you have a great deal of affection for her, but the conditions you impose on her are an indicator of your true feelings. Recognition of this might make it easier to accept that you may not feel "Love" in the classical, romantic sense...and thus make it easier to move on from.
Yoda
I just wanted to wish you the best. I agree with all the post. I sometime wish i was the Tin man( i think it was) where he had no heart because it is hell when it is broken. But it will get better. Keep smiling makes people think you are up to no good. Sassy
keep emotional distance even in their private lives because allowing others to get close has led to pain for them.
But by working on their issues, they can get to the point where they can again allow others to get close. However, it is unwise for them to allow the "others" in this case to include clients. Better to start a relationship with a non-client if she wants a relationship.
it is best for Hobbists to date non providers and for providers to date non clients in the end. There are few exceptions but in general, the pretty woman scenario is a fantasy.
Ignore it as we all may, but any "relationship" that start from the basis of hot sex for $$$ instead of frienship and respect will not last.
My personal favorite quote to remind all hobbist is look at yourself in the mirror..."you ain't f@!*%g Bratt Pitt"
"We" are the average Joe that want to screw the prom queen or Miss America and the reality is most of them wouldn't give us the time unless $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ is involved. Take it for what it is , the truth is humbling and sobering...KEEP YOUR EXPECTATION as close to REALITY as you can.
The show Average Joe and Joe 2 painted it as clear as possible....life ain't fair and things hasn't change since we were in high school.
eventually, you will start looking for someone else...
I suggest you give up on her and move on.
Shaye
Having attachments to anything in life causes pain. Because, either what you are attached to is fleeting or life is. With this said, it does not mean don't love, but to love freely. When you totally relinquish yourself you are no longer tied to the outcome.
If you live totally in the present, or can be totally present, you give up any pre-concieved fantasy of how it "should" be. How can something dissapoint if you have no expectations of the outcome?
Now that the preverbial barn door is open, how do you go back? Communication, communication, communication! Take ownership of your expectations. Own how your feelings of how things should be has effected the situation. Did she break any commitments? Did she tell you one thing and do the opposite? That is her part in it, but how she made you feel is your responsibility and yours alone.
Thanks for all the input. This will be the week that gets me back on the right track (hopefully). Again, my intentions were not to impose conditions or label anybody. Just surprised that anybody would not feel a bond to someone who took them from the depths of there dispair (ie. 0$$$, no place to live etc.).
I didnt think this would actually happen but by everyone's response I have to re-think this. Surprisingly enough I have a provider who I had repeat encounters but now our relationship has grown. We now hook up, no financial involvement. We enjoy each others company and the sex is UNREAL. But I understand that it is her job and when a call comes thru, I need to allow her to do what she does. That is what she was doing when I met her, so why should I expect her to stop. This isnt a "Pretty Woman" situation. We are two people who enjoy each others company. You run it for all its worth cause it will end.
