In the beginning was the plan and them came the assumptions. And the asumptions were w/o substance. And the plan w/o form. And darkness was upon the faces of the workers, and hey spoke amongst themselves saying, " it is a crock of shit and it stinks." And the workers went to thier supervisors and said, it is a pail of dung and none may abide by the odor thereof.
And the supervisor went uto the manager saying " it is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." And the manager went upon the director saying, " it is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide by its strength." And the directors spoke amongst themselves saying to one another "it contans that wich aids plant growth, and is very strog." and the directors went upon the vice-pres.saying," it promotes growth and is very powerfull." And the VP goes upon the president saying," This new plan will actively promote the growth of the company with powerfull effects." And the president looked at the plan and saw that it was good .And the plan became policy. And this my friend is how...............SHIT happens...author unknown
I thought it was Jack Shit...but then again, what do I know?
I don't really know Jack Shit.
Cheers!
MEMO:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. in the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S. H. I. T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS(D.E.E.P.,S.H.I.T.)..
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the Department
MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION
(M.O.R.E.,S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.,S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING(H.O.T.,S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super
High Intensity Training. (D.U.M.B.,S.H.I.T.).
That deserves an "Atta Boy" award but dont get too excited. Remember 1 "AWW Shit" canceles out 100 "Atta Boys"