Based on your posts and reviews, I would not conclude that you are a person with bad intentions, but that has very little currency with me. Discretion and respect for boundaries are important. There are plenty of guys that trespass emotionally beyond the provider's politely outlined comfort zone because they are emboldened by their benevolent intentions.
My concern would be why you are so bent on being trusted. I'm assuming the distrust is not over concerns that you are LE, so it's just a character call. Unless you are unable to get an appointment, why does it matter? Did the person message you out of nowhere with this opinion or were you asking to be trusted? There's a funny irony here in that trust and making exceptions tend to go to those who would never request that of us.-- Modified on 1/28/2016 5:00:50 AM
How does trust work in this world?
I know the people who have gotten to know me over time would trust me because they know me,
Whats the best way to get someone's trust in this world who you never met? Is it even possible?
I bring this up because I was told I was full of shit earlier tonight in private and it upset me because they weren't giving me the benefit of the doubt and I have been nothing but honest with this person.
I know you don't trust me because you never met me but if you talk to my references they would tell you my intentions are pure and my word means something.
That is all
This isn't a forum where trust really works well. We never meet each other apart from clients/escorts. People shill, lie, misrepresent themselves all of the time. And of course, none of us are using our real names (or even our real TER handles sometimes).
We have plenty of trolls too, though thankfully fewer than on typical comment sections on media sites.
The best you can hope for is entertainment and maybe a bit of good advice every so often. Getting a reputation for honesty might help, but trolls are trolls
It's that simple. It's hard to get and harder to keep.
Very few people with any sense at all start off trusting anyone, the longer you know someone (without them fucking it up of course) the more you trust them. For a guy with as short a history as you have here, especially one like you who has not yet mastered the art of discretion, it's quite understandable that the trust factor regarding you would be rather low at this point.
Some of us here have known each other for over a decade. My advice to you is "don't push it, act right and the trust will follow, not the other way around" Personally, I think you are a nice enough guy, but would I "trust" you? most certainly not, not yet at least.
One other thing, the people with which I have mutual trust most often know the "real" me and I them. Many of these friendships extend beyond the hobby. Those are the people here I trust the most.
(side note, my post is placed under AHappyCamper, but obviously my remarks were directed at the OP)
t's common knowledge among highly successful people ... that one of the quickest ways to gain someone's trust is to ASK THEM TO DO YOU A FAVOR.
No one knows or understands why it works. Because it runs totally counter to everything we've ever been taught. But basically, it works like this:
1) People like doing favors for others. Think about it. Don't you like doing favors for people? Doesn't it make you feel good? Well, other people are usually the same way. It makes us feel valued. And who doesn't like to feel valued?
2) Once you do a favor for someone, whether you realize it or not, you become invested in that person. You now want to see that person succeed. You want your favors in action and to have positive results on others.
Once a bond is formed through asking a favor ... trust quickly follows. We want to trust people that we are invested in.
This might be the single best piece of advice I've ever received, so use it wisely
Now you know that the person who told you you were full of shit probably doesn't like you. So you probably wouldn't trust that person in the future. Or you will trust him/her/it/them/us/me/whoever to not treat you very nicely. That's another kind of trust. If the cookie jar is left on the bottom shelf you can trust a kid to snatch a cookie.
As far trust between providers and clients...you both know what the other wants, and as long you each get what you want, you can usually trust that it'll go the same way the next time. And that makes for a very comfortable arrangement, don't you think?
If you can fake that, you've got it made
And you should not take such offense to it as if you do this long enough being either a guy or girl someone will have blown it for the rest.
boy i think the op is probably too sensitive. nothing about this endeavor is to be taken at face value. it's all about fun. leave your emotions at home. i know it's hard but that's the only way to navigate through these waters without getting hurt.
please, ladies, take this joke in the spirit it is intended: simply a joke:
how can you tell when a provider is lying?
when her mouth is moving and your dick isn't in it.
but the same goes for customers, too. every single girl i'm with is the most beautiful girl in the world, and i tell them that every session. and yes, they all believe it, and then they all cum! amazing!
How does trust work here? Same as anywhere else. You don't demand it. You earn it.
Remember the last guy who came on here "demanding' respect? Things didn't go so well for him here, so badly I don't think it's even allowed to mention him by name.
Zak, don't be "that guy". Go about your business here with respect and integrity and if you are deserving, the trust will follow.
Look at me for example, I am absolutely hated here by many, but most people trust me. Twelve years of not blabbing the secrets of others and 35,000 posts under the same handle means I have a reputation here that's important to me. You can't force the issue of trust, if you are deserving it will simply come. PerfectStorm is another great example, he is one of the more trusted members here, he didn't earn that trust overnight either. Years of being "one of the good guys" is how he's earned the trust he enjoys.
The more someone begs me to trust them, the less and less I trust them.
I am not seeking a soulmate to share my deepest secrets.
The trust I bestow is the trust that you will not secretly delve into my personal life. That you will respect my boundaries. That you won’t cheat me or harm me. That you won’t confuse fondness with love. That you will be neither possessive nor dismissive. That we can nurture our connection without the baggage of false expectations.
When someone earns that trust, I will repay it in kind
Damn autocorrect.
I mean I ***agree*** with everything you just said. LOL
I wish every John starting out, and a slew who are already in the biz, read and take to heart those words.
For if they did, there wouldn't be any stalkers, creepers, and guys who so confuse the fantasy of a p4p GF with that of a IRL one.
In a career here of making highly intelligent, extremely funny and dead on accurate posts, this one just might be your best ever.
I will now make it mandatory reading at Jack Dunphy University.
I will contact you re: possible guest lecturing for the fall semester.
Then I hope I can pay to fk you on the Dean's desk. Afterall, I am a man, and this is still a fk board.
Good work from you today.
All within the context of the realm in which we willingly play.
I pretty much have this situation with my long term guys where we know a lot about each other only AFTER this type of trust was built and stood the test of time.
I know the people who have gotten to know me over time would trust me because they know me,
Whats the best way to get someone's trust in this world who you never met? Is it even possible?
I bring this up because I was told I was full of shit earlier tonight in private and it upset me because they weren't giving me the benefit of the doubt and I have been nothing but honest with this person.
I know you don't trust me because you never met me but if you talk to my references they would tell you my intentions are pure and my word means something.
That is all.
Based on your posts and reviews, I would not conclude that you are a person with bad intentions, but that has very little currency with me. Discretion and respect for boundaries are important. There are plenty of guys that trespass emotionally beyond the provider's politely outlined comfort zone because they are emboldened by their benevolent intentions.
My concern would be why you are so bent on being trusted. I'm assuming the distrust is not over concerns that you are LE, so it's just a character call. Unless you are unable to get an appointment, why does it matter? Did the person message you out of nowhere with this opinion or were you asking to be trusted? There's a funny irony here in that trust and making exceptions tend to go to those who would never request that of us.
-- Modified on 1/28/2016 5:00:50 AM
The harder you look for it, the less of it you are going to get.
Take personal information for an example. I know the most private details of hundreds of women, not because I pry into their lives, actually for the very opposite reason. As a very good hooker buddy used to tell me. "The reason I tell you all these private details about my life is that I have to tell SOMEBODY, and I know not only will you not repeat them to anyone, but you won't even remember what I told you in the morning"
I have often found the people most concerned about being trusted have proven to be the least deserving. It's like being honest, Honest people rarely go around telling people just how honest they are.
do you think there are times when building rapport too quickly can lead to mistrust? I have had that happen when there's too much impersonal sharing (email vs live.) that can be misconstrued as,prying as opposed to interest. Swear to god ...lol
and would expect the same in return.
-- Modified on 1/28/2016 5:04:15 AM
...why are you keeping company with people who doubt you? There are plenty of people out there who can spot a good person..I'm sure you're one of them. it's very liberating to cut off relationships that cause you more stress than happiness. They don't believe you or in you? Screw em'
Doveryai, no proveryai.” (Trust, but verify)
That's this ho's motto.
"hope for the best, expect the worst."
seems apropos in this endeavor.
"Enough vodka will solve all problems"
Ok, I just made that one up, but I bet you there are a couple of hundred million Russkies that will agree with me.
...I follow that advice too.
We've come to trust in this industry.
You can be as sincere and honest, forthcoming and transparent as you want, 99 percent of the time, we'll think you're full of shit because someone else gave us the same song and dance. Unfortunately the latter was full of horseshit.
If they can mimic sincerity and honesty that well, who's to say you aren't doing the same? In defense of the person who called you out, whether they were correct or incorrect, I think that shows a sign of their honesty because I would have just nodded in assent and let you believe I knew what you insisted to be true. Kudos to them.
except for my best friend, and my now-deceased parents. That's it.
“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”
- William Shakespeare
I choose to give 100% trust from the beginning, allowing them the ability to smash me into little pieces.
I would rather go all in and risk getting hurt VS creating a protective coating around me so that I never get to truly trust someone.
I trusted someone in this world and they abused that trust but we all heal and move on.
We all F UP, but if we are able to truly apologize from the DNA level, trust can be rebuilt.
Just my .0
It doesn't "work", in my opinion its a pretty universal thing here. And that is key.
Good question 
Gia xo
I know the people who have gotten to know me over time would trust me because they know me,
Whats the best way to get someone's trust in this world who you never met? Is it even possible?
I bring this up because I was told I was full of shit earlier tonight in private and it upset me because they weren't giving me the benefit of the doubt and I have been nothing but honest with this person.
I know you don't trust me because you never met me but if you talk to my references they would tell you my intentions are pure and my word means something.
That is all.