Don, your experience reminds me of my own. I didn't usually get my ass kicked, but I was picked on for my hearing problem, and because of the hearing problem, I've always been socially awkward. Here's how it went down: I never started shit, but I always finished it. Then I would get blamed for the whole thing and I was the one who wound up in the principal's office, detention, etc. The main difference with me was that my parents were on my side. However, they had their own brand of (christian) looniness; they would tell me that it didn't matter what the other kids thought, Jesus got picked on, too...and so on and so forth. Then they wondered why I went down the 1%er path later in life. I've done OK as an adult, I work and pay my bills, but there's a side of me that rears its ugly head from time to time, and several people have learned the consequences of fucking with me. On the flip side, I do forgive quite a bit, too...it takes a lot to bring out the "bad" side of me.
And Delaney, thanks for sharing. It's always good for those of us who were picked on to be able to vent and get it off our chests. And FWIW, I grew up around a lot of Native Americans, so women of color hold a special place in my heart.This is kinda OT but it will lead back to the hobby....eventually. I have a Facebook page that has no connection to this life. I use it only to keep in contact with friends and family. I recently got an IM from someone I grew up with who noticed that I had taken a 6 year chip and asked if it were for sobriety. It was and I gladly told him so. He then shared that he was also sober and asked for my email address. I assumed he was going to hit on me because I look COMPLETELY different than I did in high school, can we say UGLY DUCKLING!! I gave him my email address and woke up this morning to find a letter making amends for bullying me in Jr. High. He even made living amends by going to a Boy's and Girl's club to talk to children about bullying and admitted that he used to be one!! I have forgiven all of the bullys in my life long ago but it was so heartwarming to see an actual apology in black and white!
Now how this relates to the hobby. Since I have gained self-esteem I have been able to thoroughly enjoy my work without feeling insecure about my body or skin color. I have a job where my performance is as important as looks. I have forgiven and let of my past and have actually used it to help me grow. I was never looking for vindication or redemption but this apology was amazing nontheless! This might only make sense to me but I had to share it with my peers and clientele! I only feel comfortable sharing certain things with you guys. I would appreciate any comments, similar experiences.
and that he apologized and you could find it in you to accept and forgive.
When I was a skinny kid and nothing to brag about and I think 15 years old there was a tall skinny girl a few years younger who lived in my neighborhood. I think she had a crush on me but I ignored her and I wasn't all that polite about it. She moved out of the neighborhood but still in the same town. When I was a senior in high school I saw her again. She was gorgeous! she had filled out in all the right places. She attracted a pack horny teenage boys. She made it a point to totally ignore me. All I can say is that I deserved it!! I also learned not to make snap judgments.
Yes, life teaches us not to judge in many different ways!!
Now how this relates to the hobby. Since I have gained self-esteem I have been able to thoroughly enjoy my work without feeling insecure about my body or skin color. I have a job where my performance is as important as looks. I have forgiven and let of my past and have actually used it to help me grow. I was never looking for vindication or redemption but this apology was amazing nontheless! This might only make sense to me but I had to share it with my peers and clientele! I only feel comfortable sharing certain things with you guys. I would appreciate any comments, similar experiences.
I wasn't bullied for too long though, we moved a lot when I was in school and I learned early to fight back against the first kid who picked a fight with me, didn't matter if I got an ass whoopin or gave it, if they know that you'll fight back then they leave you alone.
It's rarely the head guy who picks the fight with you, because if you kick his ass then he loses his kingdom, as it were. He sends one of his lieutenants to find out if you'll fight back or fold. It's actually a life lesson, the same hierarchy prevails in many different social and professional circuits, just different circumstances. We've had a small sampling of it in here. If you stand up to bullies, or better yet ignore them (bullies hate being ignored).
An interesting story about AA year chips, my Uncle who had gotten 14 chips (I have no idea how he did it because my Aunt is a goony, goo goo bitch), so one day my Uncle says to me out of the blue, "I never once cared about those damn chips, every year when I'd get one I'd throw them into a junk drawer, they were never important to me until I had to give them back, then they mattered. That must have been 10 years or more ago, so he has a bunch more by now.
Not me though, I'm not a quiter, I respect those who do, but I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, I don't go to those meetings.
You have learned a life lesson which I have yet to, you've learned to forgive.
I dig the comparison because it still does happen but it's nice to have the tools to deal with it! I STILL consider myself a nerd but I LOVE BEING A NERD. NERDS RULE!!
is the sweetest revenge.........congratulations on your success.
-- Modified on 1/21/2016 2:46:20 PM
Thanks babe!
If you were an ugly duckling in HS, you sure blossomed into a beautiful black swan.....what a beautiful smile!
Yummy!
AWWW thank you!
The Black Swan (movie) had one of the hottest lesbian scenes ever in a main-stream movie. Thanks for the reminder.
Yummy!
The thing I learned is never stop enjoy life.
Some people learn from their mistakes and others never learn.
If person cannot accept your skin color etc.
It's their issue or problem and never take it on yourself.
I wish you continue success and happiness in the future.
Now how this relates to the hobby. Since I have gained self-esteem I have been able to thoroughly enjoy my work without feeling insecure about my body or skin color. I have a job where my performance is as important as looks. I have forgiven and let of my past and have actually used it to help me grow. I was never looking for vindication or redemption but this apology was amazing nontheless! This might only make sense to me but I had to share it with my peers and clientele! I only feel comfortable sharing certain things with you guys. I would appreciate any comments, similar experiences.
-- Modified on 1/21/2016 5:03:47 PM
Thanks for the encouraging words of wisdom babe!!
I got in a lot of fights when I was young, which is strange since I was never a tough guy. I never started a fight, but I never ran away. Sometimes I won, sometimes not.
There was a guy in high school who was in the Golden Gloves boxing program, and who apparently decided I was going to be his unwilling sparring partner. He'd wait for me after school often, and I'd have to fight him. I'd run into him in town, and I'd have to fight him. My skills were nowhere near his, and I could never win. And he wouldn't leave me alone for the entire senior year.
if I ran into him today, and it looked like I could take him, I'd punch the shit out of him.
I don't dwell on it, and seldom think about it, so it's not ruining my life.
Hmmmm, I used to think that way about the guy who bullied me the most and even challenged me physically but now I just feel sorry for him because I've heard he's not doing well in life because he never changed.
I had a couple of guys fight me regularly, so this wasn't unusual. The aftermath was.
I got tired of having to fight the guy, so some days I wouldn't go to school. The vice principal took an interest in me, after not knowing who I was when I was an honor student.
On one of my truant days, the VP sent the cops to my house. The cops cuffed me, put me in the back of a squad, and took me to the county juvenile detention center. The people there asked the cops what I'd done, and they said truancy. The detention center folks just laughed, saying they had armed robbers, rapists and all sort of other, more serious offenders. They told the cops to take me to a social worker.
The social worker was a doctor, and a loony one at that. Every session, all he wanted to talk about was the sex I was having with my girlfriend. After seeing me a few times, he recommended to my parents that I be admitted for shock treatment. Back then it was really popular. My folks trusted doctors, the vice principal liked the idea of my brains being scrambled, and it looked like I was going to go "Cuckoo's Nest".
Into this stepped another psychiatric social worker who I met with several times. He told my parents that I was just a normal teen going through a rebellious period. He told the VP to lay off.
I almost got my brains scrambled thanks to the Golden Gloves guys. I don't forget something like that.
Don, your experience reminds me of my own. I didn't usually get my ass kicked, but I was picked on for my hearing problem, and because of the hearing problem, I've always been socially awkward. Here's how it went down: I never started shit, but I always finished it. Then I would get blamed for the whole thing and I was the one who wound up in the principal's office, detention, etc. The main difference with me was that my parents were on my side. However, they had their own brand of (christian) looniness; they would tell me that it didn't matter what the other kids thought, Jesus got picked on, too...and so on and so forth. Then they wondered why I went down the 1%er path later in life. I've done OK as an adult, I work and pay my bills, but there's a side of me that rears its ugly head from time to time, and several people have learned the consequences of fucking with me. On the flip side, I do forgive quite a bit, too...it takes a lot to bring out the "bad" side of me.
And Delaney, thanks for sharing. It's always good for those of us who were picked on to be able to vent and get it off our chests. And FWIW, I grew up around a lot of Native Americans, so women of color hold a special place in my heart.
While I do tend to think that many reap what they sow... In some cases I also tend to believe it's this thing called... KARMA..
but sometimes Karma needs a little help. lol
I don't dwell over the things that people have done to me over the years and it's true that "the best revenge is living well" but sometimes you have the opportunity to fulfill those fateful words "one of these days I am going to get you" and that's when it's rather satisfying to give karma a little help.
I do believe that obsessing over people that have fucked you over in the past does more harm to yourself than anything they ever did to you, but my father is Sicilian and we are the people who invented "vendetta" lol
But do you think about punching him while you "spank the monkey?" 🐵🙈🙉🙊
There was a guy in high school who was in the Golden Gloves boxing program, and who apparently decided I was going to be his unwilling sparring partner. He'd wait for me after school often, and I'd have to fight him. I'd run into him in town, and I'd have to fight him. My skills were nowhere near his, and I could never win. And he wouldn't leave me alone for the entire senior year.
if I ran into him today, and it looked like I could take him, I'd punch the shit out of him.
I don't dwell on it, and seldom think about it, so it's not ruining my life.
Fancy is correct, hate and anger bring no peace.
Thank you for the beautiful reminder that people change. Those who have been cruel can become humble. Honestly we never what demons one bears that make them mean or spiteful, and bullies. We only have control over how we react to these situations, to these insults. I am glad that you had found peace in your heart, and also were able to receive his apologies in word.
A quote that I hold very dear to my heart:
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” ― Gautama Buddh
Thank you sweetie! I love the quote, so timeless and true and sounds like a very apropos quote for the program and life in general.
Good for you...
It is an amazing thing to discover your own self-worth and be able to stand tall doing what you want to do and living the life you choose to live rather than letting outside forces control you...and having a bad situation from your past resolve itself so beautifully SHOULD warm your heart...
Be proud Delaney...you've earned the right...
Congratulations on the 6! I feel like I'm finally on solid foods and not a newbie anymore at 6 years!
Now how this relates to the hobby. Since I have gained self-esteem I have been able to thoroughly enjoy my work without feeling insecure about my body or skin color. I have a job where my performance is as important as looks. I have forgiven and let of my past and have actually used it to help me grow. I was never looking for vindication or redemption but this apology was amazing nontheless! This might only make sense to me but I had to share it with my peers and clientele! I only feel comfortable sharing certain things with you guys. I would appreciate any comments, similar experiences.
Always forgive, always give a second chance. It's really beautiful that he realized what he did was wrong and the makes the world a slightly better place.
Peace