BDSM

BDSM?y
WEDAZ 1 Reviews 636 reads
posted

Are you looking to provide, receive, or both?

Im interested, just need more on how I should go about this, sounds fun though ;)

Are you looking to provide, receive, or both?

RokkKrinn639 reads

I'm going to assume "provide" = take the top/dom(me)/mistress/whatever role...

There's so much more than just asserting "I am a dominatrix" involved in providing such services, whether in your civvie or professional lives.  This stuff can be wildly fun--but it can also be incredibly dangerous.

The best thing to do is to learn by interacting with those who have experience.  Go to the kinky sex shops, find the local leather groups, see if you can get invited to semi-private play parties.  Be willing to learn "from the bottom up"--even if that's not where you're interests lie, you need to understand (generally) how it feels to be bound or whipped before doing it to others--you get some idea of how much is enough that way.

Don't just declare yourself an "insta-domme".  That will work out poorly for you, the clients, and "the industry".

ValuedCustomer525 reads

There is a difference between BDSM and services associated with BDSM.  If all you want to do is to offer some services like strap on or tease and denial - then that's a whole different kettle of fish.

You may not want to be a domme.   "Do to them" is really not the right attitude for a professional domme.  A better way to think about it is to "allow them to submit".   A sub (your customer) can't whip him or herself.  The sub needs someone to validate them.  That is what they are paying you for - not abuse.  

As a domme- you are in authority.  But you also have responsibility towards your sub.  That responsibility includes physical safety amongst other things.  If you tie somebody up and proceed to whip the hell out of them and they have a heart attack....   If you are just doing a GFE or PSE  - you really don't have a lot of responsibility for them.    

Limits are important - safe words, etc.  You need to figure out what the sub "needs"; and it may not be what he or she thinks they need. You have to supervise and manage them.   You have to have rules; you have to have punishments and rewards.  And the rewards may not be what you might think....

It ain't easy to do right - it's actually a lot of work.   It's not all just sitting on your throne, wearing really cool leather outfits and allowing the worms to lick your boots for hundreds of dollars an hour. In fact, you might want to consult another domme in your area and see if you can "apprentice".    She might have a customer who would really get into the idea of being a "training" tool...

A lot of people will tell you to learn from other doms but I think you could actually learn a lot more by getting to know a submissive well and seeing what makes him tick.  

If you want to move down here where I live I volunteer.

Posted By: CrystalLyte
Im interested, just need more on how I should go about this, sounds fun though ;)

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