Do you just tell him or is it by implication? 
Like a couple of posts down where ATFs may know a lot about clients ... sometimes clients want to know a lot about their favorite ladies.
I genuinely enjoy the company of many of my clients. That doesn't mean I want to share my real name! It's just uncommon enough that someone can easily find me. I'm a parent and if I get outed, this could cause custody issues. It probably would also cause problems for my children. It's not that I think they're going to say anything to anyone, but I feel the risk is too great to have my name out there. I can tell some feel a little hurt I don't want to share.
Guys, do you feel miffed or not "special" if a lady doesn't share personal info? Do some of you realize she may consider it too risky? If I'm careful, I feel the chances of being discovered is small
Unless I know a girl VERY well. Then at that point we are friends and friends share those sort of things.
Many girl I know have 3 names.
1. Stage name.
2. "Real" fake name (that they give to johns to make them think its their real name.)
3. And their IRL real name that they should only give to a very, very small group of people they have known and trusted for a VERY long time or to schedule travel arrangements.
Anything else puts the girl at increased risk and who wants that?
...but only after you know each other well. I don't ever ask for personal info, even if we've become friends. I have nothing to hide and tell them about my life but if she doesn't want to share, that's fine with me. They usually do but I don't expect it nor do I pressure them for it.
I genuinely enjoy the company of many of my clients. That doesn't mean I want to share my real name! It's just uncommon enough that someone can easily find me. I'm a parent and if I get outed, this could cause custody issues. It probably would also cause problems for my children. It's not that I think they're going to say anything to anyone, but I feel the risk is too great to have my name out there. I can tell some feel a little hurt I don't want to share.
Guys, do you feel miffed or not "special" if a lady doesn't share personal info? Do some of you realize she may consider it too risky? If I'm careful, I feel the chances of being discovered is small.
The safest johns to trust with your personal information are the ones who will never ask for it.
I don't feel miffed at all if a lady wants to keep her private info private and yes the more careful you are the less likely you will ever hear your hooker name being spoken aloud in family court. Your clients will get over it, losing your children because you gave into some needy john is something you can never get over.
As it helps with the fantasy, or they feel it makes them "special" or any other such nonsense.
Guys, if you want the girl to think your special or you want that "connection", don't go into her personal realm.
Allow her to delve into that area if she wishes, without being asked, and you will most likely see the level of trust she places in you will rise accordingly.
And if she trusts you enough to "go there" with her, guard that info and put it in your vault.
We've had this conversation several times as I know virtually EVERYTHING about her. She told me once that the reason she felt she could confide so much in me was not because I would "guard" it, but that because I was like most shallow pigs and I wouldn't even remember a word she said by the next day, much less have any desire to repeat it. lol
Its why I tell you so much. LOL
I figure "he's drunk, he wont remember anyway."
Speaking of which, you owe me a story from last night.
Get it on it, son. LOL
Or here you too drunk to remember it?
...you expect her to share that info once you become friends. What if she doesn't "delve into that area" when you become friends? Will you be butt hurt and stop seeing her?
...or the short one? LOL
I never said I "expected" anything.
I said friends share things. Is this news to you? LOL
There isn't any expectation at all in p4p. At least not for me. If she doesnt "delve" into personal things then we really aren't friends, now are we?
Thanks for trolling.
You must be exhausted. LOL
I will say though - it's not the guys I see almost every week/biweekly who insist on bugging me for personal info. It's the ones I've seen a handful of times who seem to bug me about it, and they think that I can't possibly have connected with anyone else as much as I have with them.
To some, if they met one time they are friends. I am talking about meeting a woman 20, 30 or 50 times over years.
And remember, I do lentgthy sessions, usually 4+ hours and some as much as 10-12 hours so my defintion is someone I know well, I trust, I know there real name, I have been to their home and they mine, lots of otc, etc etc etc.
Unless I have that kind of relationship, or something similar, I offer very little info and ask for nothing personal, but if the gal want to open up, I'll listen.
I am not the typical hobbyist but what I see and read. Most guys seem to be the one hour of two Hou'r variety. I also do the SB thing which lends itself to more openness and familiararity.
Make sense?
Yes, I look at it as no matter how good our chemistry is, not hearing my working name in family court trumps all.
GaG, I wish I could send guys your way for lessons in common sense!
Sounds about right...
I don't feel miffed at all if a lady wants to keep her private info private and yes the more careful you are the less likely you will ever hear your hooker name being spoken aloud in family court. Your clients will get over it, losing your children because you gave into some needy john is something you can never get over.
If someone wants to know my name, or starts bragging about all of the ladies' who's names he knows, I will most likely cut him off completely.
I think I have two guys I've been seeing for a couple of years who have gotten my name, due to large transactions, or multiple transactions that made it much easier to maintain our love affairs. It also did make the encounters a bit more intimate. I can see why a guy would WANT that information right off the bat, but as we know, if you cook it up too fast and the heat is too high, you'll have a very rough, nasty, un-chewable steak. (Or pork chop. I remember those days ugh lol).
Over a long period of time, where the dates get longer, and you see them a lot, you can pick up patterns that show whether or not the guy is going to show up at your house and kill you, or blackmail you. There have been a couple stragglers were so eager, they got me to slip. Hoping nothing comes out of that, but if it does, I have my machetes, so... (kidding calm down). But I have been blackmailed once with my real name. And I had a lot of fun playing "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" with that one. I know, it's bad, but it was fun.
I prefer slow-cooked trust and intimacy. If you slow-cook and develop a relationship or friendship over time, the trust can be enough to allow name exchange for easier transactions. Especially when traveling. But if a guy tries to force it in the beginning, that true intimacy and really relaxed feeling will never be attained. So I just fire the client and move on. Huge turn off when someone tries to get me to do something I don't want to do
the fantasy.......IMHO. We all have our own likes/dislikes. Some of us will rave about a spinner while others will choose someone with a bit more meat on her bones.........etc., etc.
IMHO the entire experience is like that. Let's face it.........some of us enjoy being with a provider because the maintenance end of things is manageable...........we spend a finite amount of money, a finite, but specific amount of time, and engage in a finite activity that satisfies whatever we feel scratches that itch at the time of a preplanned business transaction.
This is probably why we read so much in this forum about boundaries........so everyone involved gets what they expect from this enterprise. You know........whatever is acceptable between to consenting adults.........
Of course, there are times when an unexpected chemistry is developed........and am guessing this is what you are talking about. But again.........I believe the two consenting adults theory........has more to do with this than anything.
Am confident you do not share all of your personal business with everyone you meet..........or with everyone you share a business transaction. But once in a while...........
IMHO
See, the problem is that I do have genuine fun and it shows. I enjoy sex and am nice. Many (probably most) feel chemistry with me, and I like them but I also love variety.
I guess I want to place a PSA : don't bug a fav to share! Just enjoy the good times!
I guess I want to place a PSA : don't bug a fav to share! Just enjoy the good times!
I never asked a provider for her name usually they tell me when I see them on the 2nd 4th or 7th date when I'm still calling them Sally Daisy or anything else they will say call me Karen. If it's a fake name I could care less that's what you want me to call you that's what I'll call you. I'm not miffed as you put it if the provider tells me nothing. I know every client provider relationship is different. I would also like to say I think I'm smart enough to know that a lot of the woman in this world are single mothers.
As far as feeling special. Hell yeah I'm special what 32 year old guy is having as much fun as me? The answer is no one.
I genuinely enjoy the company of many of my clients. That doesn't mean I want to share my real name! It's just uncommon enough that someone can easily find me. I'm a parent and if I get outed, this could cause custody issues. It probably would also cause problems for my children. It's not that I think they're going to say anything to anyone, but I feel the risk is too great to have my name out there. I can tell some feel a little hurt I don't want to share.
Guys, do you feel miffed or not "special" if a lady doesn't share personal info? Do some of you realize she may consider it too risky? If I'm careful, I feel the chances of being discovered is small.
hopefully you don't need his business enough so you can dump him. The only explanation that you might want to give for not disclosing info is: "Well here on planet Earth there are good reasons in the Hobby not to share, and I'm sure that after you have spent a bit more time here you will understand."
I'm so bad with names, that I can't remember your stage name. If you told me your real name, I'd forget it within 10 minutes.
So no, I don't feel miffed or not special if you don't tell me. Actually, I'd just as soon you didn't. That save me the embarrassment of forgetting it.
Maybe after 30-40 visits I'd remember all three of your names 
Hobbyists and hookers shouldn't be talking about others hobbyists and hookers..Running mouth tricky stituation
I genuinely enjoy the company of many of my clients. That doesn't mean I want to share my real name! It's just uncommon enough that someone can easily find me. I'm a parent and if I get outed, this could cause custody issues. It probably would also cause problems for my children. It's not that I think they're going to say anything to anyone, but I feel the risk is too great to have my name out there. I can tell some feel a little hurt I don't want to share.
Guys, do you feel miffed or not "special" if a lady doesn't share personal info? Do some of you realize she may consider it too risky? If I'm careful, I feel the chances of being discovered is small.
I love most of the women I've seen, meaning I love the actress. I may not like the real person. Why ruin a good thing?
One provider I saw hosted at her own home, and had photos of herself from swimsuit competitions. The banners behind the women in the photos were simple enough clues for any guy to find out who she was. Hell, anybody could do a public records search on the address and find out the name of the real owner (her) I warned her about all this.
So I know a lot about my ATF, just not specifics. For instance, I know which town she lives in, but not her street address. I know that one of her brothers shares a birthday with me, and that her family knows what she does, but I don't know any of their names, nor have I seen any pictures of them. She tells me a lot of hilarious stories about other clients, but I don't know who these clients are, or when the incidents happened. She knows more about me than I do about her, and that's perfectly OK...she'll share stuff with me when she's comfortable doing so, and that's the way I like it.
I might ask, "what kind activities do you participate in", or "have you traveled anywhere good". Generic stuff which could jumpstart a good conversation.
But, I don't ask her real name. I want her to be Bambi for me during our time together.
I have had two providers who have told me their real "first" name, and that's cool because it demonstrates a level of trust, a trust that I would never betray.
The only instance that I could envision the need to know her name is if we were traveling together, but that hasn't happened for me yet, and likely won't.
Some things are better left unsaid.
Non invasive, funny, adorable and Fido is no worse for the wear.
Do you just tell him or is it by implication?
Woof!
..but I rarely ask and when I do I offer some of my own first.
And that's to be expected. So it doesn't bother me at all. But usually if I see them on a few other occasion then they'll eventually get into that comfort zone with me and spill their beans. But I always leave it up to them. And they know my real name, not this hpygolky fellow.
So there are some guys who just want to feel special or feel entitled to your personal info. Then there are guys that you spend a lot of time with so eventually, you have to talk about something. The real problem comes in when these guys you spend a lot of time with start thinking lovey dovey thoughts. I had a client stalk me once and I had another client who actually asked me for my legal name. I obviously did not tell him but it can be a precarious situation. You want to cultivate a good relationship with good clients but you also have to protect yourself.
I'd rather keep things professional.
I genuinely enjoy the company of many of my clients. That doesn't mean I want to share my real name! It's just uncommon enough that someone can easily find me. I'm a parent and if I get outed, this could cause custody issues. It probably would also cause problems for my children. It's not that I think they're going to say anything to anyone, but I feel the risk is too great to have my name out there. I can tell some feel a little hurt I don't want to share.
Guys, do you feel miffed or not "special" if a lady doesn't share personal info? Do some of you realize she may consider it too risky? If I'm careful, I feel the chances of being discovered is small.
and thus no need to ask.
It is nice when both choose to share info... but there is no obligation.
Regardless of what is shared and to what extent - the key is keeping confidences and being discreet
discretion, privacy, or that this game is "fantasy."
Having said that, I personally do know the real names and a lot more personal info for a bunch of providers I have seen. When I say a bunch, it's a lot more than 1 or 2, but still a very tiny percentage of the total number of providers I have seen. Some of them have freely given me their info, some I have learned accidentally. The one thing in common with all these ladies is that I have never asked them. There are some ladies I have repeated with many times and I still don't know any personal info, and it doesn't bother me at all.
Anyway you have to figure out how to deal with this on your own. I think Jack's advice of having a "fake real" persona is a decent idea and it works for some ladies on this biz. When nosy clients ask, you give them your fake real name and info. Your other option is to just say, you don't give out personal info, or to just change the subject. If they persist, you probably don't want or need that type of client to return anyway.
-- Modified on 1/19/2016 8:25:08 PM
Just knowing what makes us feel good for an hour
for whatever reason, they keep sharing far more information about themselves personally than I want to know. I do my best to forget it. I am not paying Suzie Q Homemaker those benjamins - I am paying Suzanne De La Cruxe ... or whatever. I REALLY don't want to become part of their drama pr homelife. This is SUPPOSED to be fantasy - and I get to go home after - NSA. This is what the benjies are for..
For a while, I thought the info they were giving me was just BS - and then, the facebook stuff started showing up in the "Do you know" category...
So - yes, I absolutely understand and agree.
Just because I'm selfish, the more you want/need to know about me, the more I expect to learn about you in return. But really, I don't feel the need to go digging through your purse, figuratively speaking, any more than you feel the need to go digging through my stuff.