San Diego

Re: Lol, like this industry has actually ever been fair to both clients and providers...regular_smile
lovelylolaforyou See my TER Reviews 176 reads
posted

Posted By: jherimae
You guys pay us a certain amount to essentially fuck you but you do have the choice of not spending your money on sex with a woman, do you not...?  
   
 What's with the hating on building connections between a client and provider? Obviously, when you stick with just sporadic one hour appointments with a variety of women, it's not going to happen and each hobbyist is different. Some like the one hours, others don't and want to actually know these human beings they're paying a ton of money for. Especially, if they're going to continuously see them on a very regular basis. That's what a lot of us want, good regulars, so why not try and build a connection on some level? Not random sporadic one hours where you go in and it's done, which is fine but that's not the desire for some of us.  
   
 If you guys want to keep this board just between you guys for the most part, we don't really actually care. It'd be nice to be able to contribute without us getting insulted right off the bat if we put out what we want to say in response to a thread. You don't agree, fine! Reply why you disgree! But don't go into actually insulting us when we didn't insult you. What would be the point in that? You guys can already insult us (in the nicest way that TER will accept it) through reviews. There are more hobbyists that frequent TER than providers so a lot of you guys can gang up on us and it's very rare for a provider to defend another because, to be honest, for me, I'd rather just not deal with what I already know will happen if I respond.  
   
 I am technically a new provider, so what do I really know...

First the rant

A lot of us guys here want to see the ladies participate more on this board. Guys, that ain't gonna happen unless some of us learn to articulate our disagreement without being an asshole and calling names.  

I welcome the input from the ladies. They have helped me be a better hobbyist/client etc. They have helped me become better at sex. Without provider participation on this site, as Bic has said, this board is shit. Sorry Bic if I took that out of context. And something else has happened to me on this board and within the "hobby." I look at life, providers and the world differently. I used to look down on everyone associated with the "Worlds oldest profession." No more. I'm a better person for this in some ways. Please stop laughing.

To lose provider participation on this site would be a real shame and if that happens, if it's just us guys, well then, it's only gonna be a few guy who get their jollies one-upping and insulting each other and calling each other names. Guys like me will be gone and the ladies won't even read what gets posted. Then the board is surely shit.

Now, the challenge -

I challenge ALL users to participate. I challenge EVERYONE that disagrees with a poster, to post their opposing point of view in a way that doesn't slam the original post. I challenge all who read this to participate in information exchanges and respectful debate. I challenge EVERYONE to ignore the posts that are outright rude and insulting by not responding to them. If a poster has a rep for such bad behavior, then let's ignore his/her posts entirely and not even read them. CDL has told me he has a right to defend himself when insulted here. He's right. An exception to every rule. People, defend yourself if you will. Say what you need and then shut up. Everyone will see the post that caused it and who wrote it.

Someone posted recently the Atlanta board is much better. I checked and it is. Nothing against the good people of Atlanta, but if they can do it, so can we.

That's my challenge, and no, I am not a Pimp for this board. Hahaha!

Reasons:

1. Incallman2 wants to cater to (read-in Pander-to) the feelings of the "providers"
2. Anytime a view contrary to providers' view is set forth, it is dog piled by a very select few providers and their panderers
3. Atlanta board is alive-and-well because they don't cow-tow to a few ladies who have publicly stated "those with the pussy makes the rules"
4. There is no "discussion" in the discussion board.  It is more of a  - you must "kiss the ass" of a provider board
5. Posting under an alias, while permitted is scorned.  This is complete idiocy as we ALL are ALIAS even under a primary handle.
6. I am perfectly OK with this being a hobbyist-only board as all I read recently from the "providers" is bitching about this or that.  Most recent example was some fucked up shit about making a connection.  REALLY?  Connection?  Join Match.com

Thats my take but what do I know.

Posted By: incallman2
First the rant  
   
 A lot of us guys here want to see the ladies participate more on this board. Guys, that ain't gonna happen unless some of us learn to articulate our disagreement without being an asshole and calling names.  
   
 I welcome the input from the ladies. They have helped me be a better hobbyist/client etc. They have helped me become better at sex. Without provider participation on this site, as Bic has said, this board is shit. Sorry Bic if I took that out of context. And something else has happened to me on this board and within the "hobby." I look at life, providers and the world differently. I used to look down on everyone associated with the "Worlds oldest profession." No more. I'm a better person for this in some ways. Please stop laughing.  
   
 To lose provider participation on this site would be a real shame and if that happens, if it's just us guys, well then, it's only gonna be a few guy who get their jollies one-upping and insulting each other and calling each other names. Guys like me will be gone and the ladies won't even read what gets posted. Then the board is surely shit.  
   
 Now, the challenge -  
   
 I challenge ALL users to participate. I challenge EVERYONE that disagrees with a poster, to post their opposing point of view in a way that doesn't slam the original post. I challenge all who read this to participate in information exchanges and respectful debate. I challenge EVERYONE to ignore the posts that are outright rude and insulting by not responding to them. If a poster has a rep for such bad behavior, then let's ignore his/her posts entirely and not even read them. CDL has told me he has a right to defend himself when insulted here. He's right. An exception to every rule. People, defend yourself if you will. Say what you need and then shut up. Everyone will see the post that caused it and who wrote it.  
   
 Someone posted recently the Atlanta board is much better. I checked and it is. Nothing against the good people of Atlanta, but if they can do it, so can we.  
   
 That's my challenge, and no, I am not a Pimp for this board. Hahaha!

Onlyalurker265 reads

I totally agree on every point.

just said a mouth full!!!  

I will respectfully disagree about incallman.  I think he just want's to make things more inclusive and get more participation.  He and I agree most of the time, but not all of the time, but I think there is mutual respect.  

But I agree with you that there seems to be too much deference given to providers, oftentimes when their posting is obviously self-serving and business-driven, especially the recent fear-mongering about Asian agencies.  Just my opinion, but like you, what do I know?

when most everyone disagrees with you

Good question. Generally speaking no it is not. It is dog piling when the same pack of dogs disagree with the same poster. I should have said dog pack piling. Oh yeah. It's pretty obvious when it occurs. I have observed it multiple times and could almost predict the responses. You see, I go waaaaay back to the origins of this board. Lareviewer and blue pond. I was an original member and while I can say there was always healthy disagreement it was nothing like this. The difference was mostly honest discussion and none of the pandering to providers POV. This board has gone way too far in that regard.   IMHO when you let a provider openly say "the one with the pussy makes the rules" and you cater to her then everything is no longer an even playing field. Think about it. What kind of hell would have to be paid if a hobbyist said fuck you all. I have the dick so you listen to me

You have the dick AND the money!

The same guys (usually) engaging in the same pissing contests. It's a guy thing, we try and carve out turf and then defend it.

MfSD>>>>

I agree...count me in.  This is a collaborative effort - hobbyists and providers.

when one set of participants is here for a distraction from RL and the other is here to earn a living (or at least supplement it), you're gonna have extreme disagreements.

the challenge is coming up with interesting topics that don't cut into the hobbyist' wallet or the provider's livelihood.

Shall we all swear off debating differing rates for same services, USA vs. TJ, and indy vs. agency discussions for 6 months?
Shall we all swear to ignore repetitive posts asking where to get a BBBJCIM for FBSM prices?

I'll take that pledge, but I can't speak for my alias

solution, then PM me in six months when you're ready to make things interesting again.   If you're going to censor certain topics for six months, I will be on vacation.

Onlyalurker368 reads

simply dislike others. And until somehow the bad blood is gone, nothing much will change. Would be cool if guys and perhaps some gals could get together for some occasion and get to know each other better. If it happens,  the drinks are on me

LA just had one.  Check the meet and greet board under general boards for others.  Have never heard of any in SD recently.  They usually require a sponsor.  You should volunteer to set one up locally.

Onlyalurker273 reads

I've attended several M&g's in Las Vegas and here. In Vegas many hobbyists revealed their online ter personalities and I made quite a few friends. In San Diego, however, all the guys chose to remain anonymous.

too bad, here in los angeles most guys are real happy to reveal their ter identities.  makes it easier to pm them, putting a face to the handle.

Yes it's annoying to have either one poster constantly say tj is better. It reminds me of billy madison in the bathtub. Block if it annoys you enough

Yes it is annoying that one comment from years ago can become a constant refrain.  

Yes blatant pandering is annoying and spamming my eyeballs. Block if it annoys you that much.  

This board at its heart is an specialized enthusiast board with buyers and sellers on it. Both wants the other. Let the buyers do their thing and sellers do theirs. Free fucking market. Seller doesn't align with buyer or vice versa, frakkin capitalism folks.  

I enjoy the frank discussions personally. Just be respectful (or don't, personally idaf). Everyone needs to get the sand out their panties, imo.  

All forums have their cliques, asshats, strong personalities, white knight, trolls, lurker and normal people.  

I enjoy the uniqueness of this one as it crosses so many non-traditional boundaries. Emotion/transaction. Product/service. Hiding behind not so clever acronyms to try and ride the line. Perceived value of something that is priceless and free at the same time. Ego on both sides. Fascinating actually but I am odd.  

Making this forum into a child safe rubber room would be a loss for me (selfishly)

You make some valid points but I must call you on one. As it regards this board, I am not pro provider. What I am is pro this board. I pimp and pander to no one. I do, however support those who express opinions and are then insulted for doing so, no matter it is a hobbyist or provider. There is one lady that often writes posts I agree with and sometimes I don't. As for us guys, I have posted support and disagreement with probably all the guys that have more than a few posts here.  

CDL was right, my hope, my goal, is wider and respectful participation on both the supply and demand sides. Period.  

Regarding users posting the same old stupid questions - really? How else is a guy new to the board to get an answer? Does anyone expect him or her to scroll through who knows how many posts to find it? Search feature? No. The person asking wants and needs CURRENT information. Us old guys need to be patient and help them. Ladies too.  

Thanks Humpbert. I don't remember seeing any posts by you. Welcome.

calling "old guys?"

To add to your thoughts:

I do think new guys need to at least do a RECENT search of the boards before posing a question that was asked a few weeks ago.  That can be a time-waster for everyone.

By definition "new guy" probably doesn't know how to do a search.
 

Posted By: coeur-de-lion
calling "old guys?"  
   
 To add to your thoughts:  
   
 I do think new guys need to at least do a RECENT search of the boards before posing a question that was asked a few weeks ago.  That can be a time-waster for everyone.  

Thanks and allow me to expand on item 1. First I mean this in a respectful way. Why do you feel the need to congratulate anyone on their insights on a post and apologize if someone is insulted?  I mean it's very galant of you to do so but honestly it's not necessary. The essence of this board is discussion amongst adults. Sometimes others have differing opinions. Let it go. I would enjoy healthy debate without you being the school monitor. This isn't school. If someone is so thin skinned they get insulted then they shouldnt post. It's really that simple.  As others have said this should be viewed as free market and I agree. Don't step in everytime the market corrects itself. However ugly it may be, let it correct itself.  

To someone else's counterpoint to my point #6, I am not looking for a connection with a provider. Others are but that's fine. That actually enlightened me. I am a "insert tab A into slot B" guy. And I am not complaining about my 1 hour dalliances. I enjoy them very much. For those seeking something more long lasting remember that those relationships are built on trust and I hope you get what you deserve. HH

Onlyalurker254 reads

I like connecting and having a friendly and humorous chat. But I also enjoy 30 min sessions the most. I think connection has more to do with chemistry between two people rather than the amount of time spent together

it's not pandering to start a conversation on a positive note. Like a job performance evaluation, a good manager starts with the positives and then moves toward the critique. It's an attempt at promoting dialogue. As you stated, we're all adults here. This is how adults engage in a conversation or debate. Acknowledge the merit of the opposing viewpoint and then offer a rebuttal or contrary view.  

That said, I laugh at the WKs that need to heap compliments on a provider almost no matter what her opinion is.

Agree on both points especially the point about the WKs.  Who knows if they are true hobbyists or providers disguised as hobbyists to bolster their position.  Either way I appreciate your feedback and agree with you 100%.

Posted By: bofia
it's not pandering to start a conversation on a positive note. Like a job performance evaluation, a good manager starts with the positives and then moves toward the critique. It's an attempt at promoting dialogue. As you stated, we're all adults here. This is how adults engage in a conversation or debate. Acknowledge the merit of the opposing viewpoint and then offer a rebuttal or contrary view.    
   
 That said, I laugh at the WKs that need to heap compliments on a provider almost no matter what her opinion is.

Your points are well taken. And, maybe I have acted a bit too much like a school monitor. But because of the level the board dropped to, well, somebody had to do it or it was dead. It's not dead yet and I will gladly step back and stop being the board police. LOL.  

I cannot disagree with what you just wrote. Except I think you either have missed some of my posts or misunderstand. All I have been trying to do is encourage participation, respectful debate, and the airing of opposing opinions. That is all good IMHO. And the fact some are here for tab A to slot B and others are here for that plus connections is good too. I won't put anyone down for why they are here. But insults and rudeness pollute the board and prevent others from participating. Hey, if someone is so thin skinned he or she cannot handle someone with a different opinion, then they should not be here.

I think that part of the problem here is a reflection on the state of discourse everywhere on the Internet. I was reading the comments on a lovely Facebook posting about someone's memories of his long dead mother (it is Mother's Day after all). Somehow the comment thread was suddenly filled with how awful Obama is, how Trump is an idiot, and how Hillary is a liar. I'm not going to debate which, if any, of statements is true, but none of them have anything to do with the posting. And while I haven't seen comments here on TER degenerate to political diatribes, I think it is all a part of the Internet's problem of "I'm anonymous, so I can say whatever I want".

The S.D. board used to be full of smart, funny, friendly people, both hobbyists and providers. I suspect that it still is, it is just that they've decided to express themselves otherwise for some reason. Frustrations that their wife/gf won't f***k them any more, frustrations that their last client was a jerk, frustrations that they were passed over for a promotion at work, or just frustrations over life in general and they take those frustrations out by being jerks on this board.

Or maybe I'm wrong and the board is now just full of jerks. But I'd like to think otherwise.

So, I have never posted on a discussion board before, even though I’ve been on TER for a decent amount of time. My sample rate of providers I’ve seen is low, as I gravitate towards trying to achieve a real connection with a woman, and when I find that spark I tend to repeat. I’m grateful for these boards in that they have certainly taught me a thing or two over the years, especially when I was new to all this. If nothing else, I’ve learned there are thousand different reasons why we as clients are here, just as there’s a provider out there that can fulfill any specific look, desire, or need.  

I was glad to come across this particular post, as I feel it is long overdue. Lately I find that I read through threads less and less, and when I do I often come away feeling a bit depressed. It’s sad to me that so many posts either start out or become tilted towards negativity and general dismissal of any alternate view or opinion (and it’s not just endemic to this regional board). I know this isn’t exactly a new issue and I know that by nature any internet forum gives voice to people whose main purpose is to vent or deride, but it’s so baffling to me that in this little corner of the world where we’re all trying to come together (in every sense of the word), that so many of us expend so much energy to make us all more separate from each other. Physical intimacy is such an incredible thing and that I find it amazing how many people treat it like it’s just a product. Ditto for how so many posts define both women and men in terms of either base economics or base motivations. What is wrong with us? I don’t understand why we can’t all treat each other with a modicum of respect. My God, we should be writing in praise of the art of the kiss, the incredible joy of an orgasm, all the amazing myriad ways in which people can relate to each other. Sure, there are many important protocol and social discussions that revolve around this “hobby,” and they should be discussed as well, but the discussions should lead to enlightenment, not name calling. Not mean-spiritedness. Sex (at least for me) should be a celebration, the ultimate act you can do with another human being, and I find it so incredibly depressing how many people seem to lose sight of that. I’m so tired of people bitching about fucking when in reality we should be rejoicing about it. And whether you define that experience as a 30-minute cum ‘n go or a week-long erotic escape, we should all remember that when you boil everything down it’s all about two people (or more, lol) coming together on the most amazing level ever invented. It should be a blast. Damnit, it should be wonder. It’s why nature gave us cocks and clitorises to begin with. Well, there is that procreation angle, but you get the point.  :)

Yes, I’m aware that mine may be a minority opinion, but I’m fine with that. This journey is very personal for me, and if I’m some sort of romantic outlier, then so be it. I’ll probably crawl back into my den and hibernate for another couple years before posting again, but I’ll have one or more amazing women there to keep me company.

I think you have been a member of the silent majority and I am happy to see new names show up here and in the last week or more. We need more people posting.

Very happy for your participation and I most definitely agree that this board has been a "shit-show".  I applaud Incallman2 for what you have been trying to do here.  I encourage you to stick around and offer some more input as it seems you have been around a while.  In fact that reminds me - I think I will start a new thread.  Please feel free to participate...

Posted By: redrock14
So, I have never posted on a discussion board before, even though I’ve been on TER for a decent amount of time. My sample rate of providers I’ve seen is low, as I gravitate towards trying to achieve a real connection with a woman, and when I find that spark I tend to repeat. I’m grateful for these boards in that they have certainly taught me a thing or two over the years, especially when I was new to all this. If nothing else, I’ve learned there are thousand different reasons why we as clients are here, just as there’s a provider out there that can fulfill any specific look, desire, or need.  
   
 I was glad to come across this particular post, as I feel it is long overdue. Lately I find that I read through threads less and less, and when I do I often come away feeling a bit depressed. It’s sad to me that so many posts either start out or become tilted towards negativity and general dismissal of any alternate view or opinion (and it’s not just endemic to this regional board). I know this isn’t exactly a new issue and I know that by nature any internet forum gives voice to people whose main purpose is to vent or deride, but it’s so baffling to me that in this little corner of the world where we’re all trying to come together (in every sense of the word), that so many of us expend so much energy to make us all more separate from each other. Physical intimacy is such an incredible thing and that I find it amazing how many people treat it like it’s just a product. Ditto for how so many posts define both women and men in terms of either base economics or base motivations. What is wrong with us? I don’t understand why we can’t all treat each other with a modicum of respect. My God, we should be writing in praise of the art of the kiss, the incredible joy of an orgasm, all the amazing myriad ways in which people can relate to each other. Sure, there are many important protocol and social discussions that revolve around this “hobby,” and they should be discussed as well, but the discussions should lead to enlightenment, not name calling. Not mean-spiritedness. Sex (at least for me) should be a celebration, the ultimate act you can do with another human being, and I find it so incredibly depressing how many people seem to lose sight of that. I’m so tired of people bitching about fucking when in reality we should be rejoicing about it. And whether you define that experience as a 30-minute cum ‘n go or a week-long erotic escape, we should all remember that when you boil everything down it’s all about two people (or more, lol) coming together on the most amazing level ever invented. It should be a blast. Damnit, it should be wonder. It’s why nature gave us cocks and clitorises to begin with. Well, there is that procreation angle, but you get the point.  :)  
   
 Yes, I’m aware that mine may be a minority opinion, but I’m fine with that. This journey is very personal for me, and if I’m some sort of romantic outlier, then so be it. I’ll probably crawl back into my den and hibernate for another couple years before posting again, but I’ll have one or more amazing women there to keep me company.

I am not as articulate as you...I do respond once in a while.
I'm not sure if it's because of my advanced age(63), or just me, but I love having a connection with my Therapists(as I call them). I can understand those who do not want that, but not me!
I enjoy my daily read here...it's entertaining for my mind.  
Lets just all get along....lol
 

Posted By: redrock14
So, I have never posted on a discussion board before, even though I’ve been on TER for a decent amount of time. My sample rate of providers I’ve seen is low, as I gravitate towards trying to achieve a real connection with a woman, and when I find that spark I tend to repeat. I’m grateful for these boards in that they have certainly taught me a thing or two over the years, especially when I was new to all this. If nothing else, I’ve learned there are thousand different reasons why we as clients are here, just as there’s a provider out there that can fulfill any specific look, desire, or need.  
   
 I was glad to come across this particular post, as I feel it is long overdue. Lately I find that I read through threads less and less, and when I do I often come away feeling a bit depressed. It’s sad to me that so many posts either start out or become tilted towards negativity and general dismissal of any alternate view or opinion (and it’s not just endemic to this regional board). I know this isn’t exactly a new issue and I know that by nature any internet forum gives voice to people whose main purpose is to vent or deride, but it’s so baffling to me that in this little corner of the world where we’re all trying to come together (in every sense of the word), that so many of us expend so much energy to make us all more separate from each other. Physical intimacy is such an incredible thing and that I find it amazing how many people treat it like it’s just a product. Ditto for how so many posts define both women and men in terms of either base economics or base motivations. What is wrong with us? I don’t understand why we can’t all treat each other with a modicum of respect. My God, we should be writing in praise of the art of the kiss, the incredible joy of an orgasm, all the amazing myriad ways in which people can relate to each other. Sure, there are many important protocol and social discussions that revolve around this “hobby,” and they should be discussed as well, but the discussions should lead to enlightenment, not name calling. Not mean-spiritedness. Sex (at least for me) should be a celebration, the ultimate act you can do with another human being, and I find it so incredibly depressing how many people seem to lose sight of that. I’m so tired of people bitching about fucking when in reality we should be rejoicing about it. And whether you define that experience as a 30-minute cum ‘n go or a week-long erotic escape, we should all remember that when you boil everything down it’s all about two people (or more, lol) coming together on the most amazing level ever invented. It should be a blast. Damnit, it should be wonder. It’s why nature gave us cocks and clitorises to begin with. Well, there is that procreation angle, but you get the point.  :)  
   
 Yes, I’m aware that mine may be a minority opinion, but I’m fine with that. This journey is very personal for me, and if I’m some sort of romantic outlier, then so be it. I’ll probably crawl back into my den and hibernate for another couple years before posting again, but I’ll have one or more amazing women there to keep me company.

Perhaps is finding topics the ladies might want to post back on.

While many good points are made 31 of the 32 comments on this topic come from the guys.

Maybe it would be good to just start with some easy topics so both sexes can get involved.

Epicurus61245 reads

sitting this one out too.
Or business is good.

If they don't come back, is it ok to make fun of annoying posts again?

Just an Alias

ps. want a connection? join linkedin

I love that last thing about a connection. Thanks Ep!  I think this thread has to do more with us guys getting our collective shot together and I really am impressed.  Notice how little bickering there was without any interference from ladies?

Onlyalurker266 reads

They are all touring lol

But I will say this, everyone in San Diego is a dick or a bitch because they simply aren't from here. I'm not from here, ill always be from New York, no matter what. But I'm nice to others cus I love people entirely too much to let it ruin my day.  

I have said this before and I'll say it again. Get your shit together San Diego: learn to be cordial and loving to one another, cus  soon you'll have to go to a different town to see girls or have clients hahahaha  

Anyway, I agree with op. Great post ;) kiss kiss to all.

Onlyalurker261 reads

Though after living 15 years in Brooklyn, one can become pretty jaded. :)

I'm a native San Diegan and proud of it! I even have a certificate from the county clerk to prove it. The only time I spent away was during my military service. I love it here.

YesThisIsAnAlias251 reads

Many of the hobbyist that have negatively turned the San Diego discussion board into a less than pleasant place seem to be narcissists and thus are unable to discern their behavior as negative, confrontational or anti-social; and in fact feel  view their contributions as enlightening and productive to the board.

Ironically it makes sense why these individuals are on this site in the first place as they are lacking  the basic skills required to interact with others, especially the opposite sex

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