I've always known I was made to service men and to be used as a pain toy. it's very natural for me. i need that pain and lack of control. I'm not really sure why. I love to feel the pain, and I love to take it far even if my body does react to it. It's something I have to have, but its not just the pain. I need surrender control, too. I couldn't begin to explain why. i just need it.
First being the bottom allows me to relax. My life is very stressful. I operate 14 different business some with over a hundred employees. I also have a family to worry about. I am also going to school to earn a degree just to do it. I rarely get more than 15 minutes to relax without it being very planned in advance. I always have something going on in my head causing near constant stress, but not when I am being the bottom. When I am being the bottom I have only three responsibilities: to please my top, make sure I am OK and everything is safe, sane and conceptual, and to enjoy pleasing my top. The serious acts allows me to focus on those things and let go of the stress. This release of control and stress is very refreshing.
I love pleasing people. I just do. When bottoming it is all about pleasing the top (my wife). I love hearing her giggle as she makes me beg or marks my ass. Watching her have a blast makes my day and feels me with pride. What is a little pain next to making the woman you love smile? To me nothing.
It allows me to safely explore my past. I was abused in past, I was also gang raped. For years the rape ate at me and made me feel powerless. I felt I had no control. The first time my wife and I played she pushed a little hard and I had a flashback to that rape and shut down for a second. I was in the head space I was in when I was 16 and getting raped. But then I heard my wife shout the safe word ending the session. I heard her voice and I realized I was not powerless. One word and it ended. I was not alone like I was that day. I was no longer weak and powerless. I begged her to keep going and for the first time I actually felt strong. Bottoming makes me feel powerful. The knowledge I am owning what is happening and one word it stops is candy to me. I feel powerful when bottoming. Strange I know to think being tied and beaten (safely) can give a sense of power. But for me it does.
In a latter post I will tell you what I enjoy topping. But on this thread lets talk about what make being the bottom so intoxicating. How about you why do you bottom, or if you are the top why does your partners allow you to top?
In my BDSM play I am a switch enjoying being the top and bottom. Today I want to talk about why I like being the bottom. There is many reasons. Lets talk about each one. Please note as of this time I have only done BDSM play with my wife who also is a switch.
First being the bottom allows me to relax. My life is very stressful. I operate 14 different business some with over a hundred employees. I also have a family to worry about. I am also going to school to earn a degree just to do it. I rarely get more than 15 minutes to relax without it being very planned in advance. I always have something going on in my head causing near constant stress, but not when I am being the bottom. When I am being the bottom I have only three responsibilities: to please my top, make sure I am OK and everything is safe, sane and conceptual, and to enjoy pleasing my top. The serious acts allows me to focus on those things and let go of the stress. This release of control and stress is very refreshing.
I love pleasing people. I just do. When bottoming it is all about pleasing the top (my wife). I love hearing her giggle as she makes me beg or marks my ass. Watching her have a blast makes my day and feels me with pride. What is a little pain next to making the woman you love smile? To me nothing.
It allows me to safely explore my past. I was abused in past, I was also gang raped. For years the rape ate at me and made me feel powerless. I felt I had no control. The first time my wife and I played she pushed a little hard and I had a flashback to that rape and shut down for a second. I was in the head space I was in when I was 16 and getting raped. But then I heard my wife shout the safe word ending the session. I heard her voice and I realized I was not powerless. One word and it ended. I was not alone like I was that day. I was no longer weak and powerless. I begged her to keep going and for the first time I actually felt strong. Bottoming makes me feel powerful. The knowledge I am owning what is happening and one word it stops is candy to me. I feel powerful when bottoming. Strange I know to think being tied and beaten (safely) can give a sense of power. But for me it does.
In a latter post I will tell you what I enjoy topping. But on this thread lets talk about what make being the bottom so intoxicating. How about you why do you bottom, or if you are the top why does your partners allow you to top
I enjoy pain to an extent, especially lashes with either a crop or a flogger on my back. I don't have any particular desire to gratify the giver, but I don't mind either if they enjoy it.
The pain seems to get endorphins flowing in my brain and I find the whole experience oddly calming and exciting at the same time.
Pinching and digging nails into my back also brings about the same effect. Also, I like my nipples tortured a bit too as well as the soles of my feet.
One thing however I can not tolerate is any rough play with my testes. For some reason they have always been very sensitive.
I was born a dominant woman! Being submissive is not natural for me.
I've always known I was made to service men and to be used as a pain toy. it's very natural for me. i need that pain and lack of control. I'm not really sure why. I love to feel the pain, and I love to take it far even if my body does react to it. It's something I have to have, but its not just the pain. I need surrender control, too. I couldn't begin to explain why. i just need it.
First being the bottom allows me to relax. My life is very stressful. I operate 14 different business some with over a hundred employees. I also have a family to worry about. I am also going to school to earn a degree just to do it. I rarely get more than 15 minutes to relax without it being very planned in advance. I always have something going on in my head causing near constant stress, but not when I am being the bottom. When I am being the bottom I have only three responsibilities: to please my top, make sure I am OK and everything is safe, sane and conceptual, and to enjoy pleasing my top. The serious acts allows me to focus on those things and let go of the stress. This release of control and stress is very refreshing.
I love pleasing people. I just do. When bottoming it is all about pleasing the top (my wife). I love hearing her giggle as she makes me beg or marks my ass. Watching her have a blast makes my day and feels me with pride. What is a little pain next to making the woman you love smile? To me nothing.
It allows me to safely explore my past. I was abused in past, I was also gang raped. For years the rape ate at me and made me feel powerless. I felt I had no control. The first time my wife and I played she pushed a little hard and I had a flashback to that rape and shut down for a second. I was in the head space I was in when I was 16 and getting raped. But then I heard my wife shout the safe word ending the session. I heard her voice and I realized I was not powerless. One word and it ended. I was not alone like I was that day. I was no longer weak and powerless. I begged her to keep going and for the first time I actually felt strong. Bottoming makes me feel powerful. The knowledge I am owning what is happening and one word it stops is candy to me. I feel powerful when bottoming. Strange I know to think being tied and beaten (safely) can give a sense of power. But for me it does.
In a latter post I will tell you what I enjoy topping. But on this thread lets talk about what make being the bottom so intoxicating. How about you why do you bottom, or if you are the top why does your partners allow you to top?