Yeah, unfortunately, you are probably right. Too bad for thise if us who are more enlightened.
Thank you.
To all the ladies - how do you prefer to be referred to? The choice of title has recently caused some hurt feelings here and some of the arguments on both sides has been compelling. Use of the term "Hooker" has come under attack the most. Others such as working girl, provider, companion and ??? Have also been suggested. What do you ladies prefer?
Provider seems to me to be the most popular without causing offense. The term companion was recently suggested and I personally like that. Hooker is an old, well established and traditional handle and I can see how it can abraise some feelings. Is this something we "Johns" should be aware of and change? Does it really matter? Is it just an individual preference?
What do the ladies think?
And guys, lets stay out of this if possible and let our ladies share their thoughts. Why? Because it is in all our best interests to let them have the floor without anything negative being written in response.
good topic, I think the way that some ladies with undeveloped senses of humor have shown themselves to be overly sensitive about terminology, this one is not going to get much action. Its been here overnight, and nothing but crickets so far. It would have been nice to have some perspective from some of the more cerebral ladies that are self-confident and don't need to use their alias to post here.
Yeah, I'm a bit disappointed. Activity picks up on weekends so there is still time.
I would say the reaction so far is roughly equivalent to slap in the face, kick in the butt and get the hell out of here with this nonsense!
The term you use really doesn't matter to me, honestly! I know some ladies get butt hurt if you don't use the correct terminology with them, but to me- a rose by any other name is still a rose! That's just my opinion.
I am moderately thick-skinned to what is posted on the boards, so I look at intent as much as wording. For instance, on the general boards, there is a person who uses "escort" in posts that are very misogynistic with the intent to troll. Normally I don't think of "escort" as an insult, but when that guy(?) uses it, it definitely is.
Before I began my foray into this world, I read the boards quite a bit, and I was shocked at the use of hooker, but I've since come to realize that some don't think of it as derogatory. However, because of the negative connotation, if one chooses to use words like that, they ought to be aware that they will offend some, especially when it's obvious that a few men (not all) have a very negative view of the women who are here or women in general. I'd like to think the gentlemen who indulge in the hobby are simply sex-positive explorers, but it's clear that some have nothing but contempt for ladies while partaking in their delights.
I use companion on my website. While nothing is wrong with a quick roll in the hay, my personal preference is for something more, so my word choice hopefully conveys that. Maybe it's because a tiny part of me is still old-fashioned, but I like to have some level of mutual respect and mental attraction to those I meet. I also think of what I do in a very positive manner even if that is counter to societal attitudes.
As for what isn't generally offensive, provider, companion, escort, and working girl are probably the most acceptable, but the rest of what is said matters, too.
As usual, your perspective is well thought out and presented. To state it another way, it's not so much the choice of word bt the context in which it is used. Same as in so many other things.
Thank you for the insight.
However, I would enjoy time spent with providers, escorts, courtesans, and companions. Maybe even a lady of the night or working girl. Call girl is iffy and prostitute is definitely out.
Call me a client, customer, hobbyist, or ________? but don't call me John.
Sorry ICM2, I waited 48 hours to first allow the ladies' opinions. That's as long as I can stay out of any interesting conversation.
No problem Bofia. Between Naomi and Kerri I think we did pretty well.
The truth is, words often hurt even when not intended to do so. I think Naomi's points about "Hooker" were well stated and based on the why's and how's of two people using TER coming together, I don't think "hooker" is appropriate here. That said, I'm mot going to call anyone out for using it. That will only stir more negativity. I think informative threads like this stand by themselves. Also, if most of us avoid certain terms maybe others will get the point and do the same. Yeah, right. We can hope, though.
may be the most appropriate term to use. I see a new girl. Then I see her again. And again. And pretty soon, I am completely "hooked." Does that make her a hook-er? You tell me.