Collectively we are a bunch of cowards, sneaking around afraid to tell the world that either we pay for sex or get paid for sex as if it's something that we should be ashamed of.
Pot smokers, at the risk of imprisonment finally have made some progress, Gays at a much higher personal risk to life and limb are out of the closet and are now free to even marry their same sex lover when the very thought of "two fags" getting married was laughable only a few short years ago. TS people have made their case as well, and are well on their way to being mainstream, although they still have a long ways to go. All these other groups have made huge progress by "fighting the good fight" except for hookers and johns who seem to be content hiding in the shadows. We are just like the people who don't vote, but then whine about how badly the politicians are fucking things up.
I'm posting this anonymously to get objective feedback from ladies and gents alike. Let me just preface this by saying that I LOVE my job and would not do it if I didn't love it. I chose to do this as a profession and made a conscious, well-informed decision to do so. I obviously enjoy sex as I'm in my sexual prime but I THOROUGHLY enjoy the diverse, fascinating, and cool men and women I've had the pleasure of meeting thus far.
My mom lives in the same city I do and doesn't miss a beat. She had noticed the improvement of my physical appearance and the sudden change in my financial situation and made plenty of comments and asked a million questions. I really never intended to divulge my profession to her but I decided I had to be truthful with her about how I was able to afford the car I was going to pick her up in to take her to surgery. The week before her surgery I "came out" to her at dinner. She claimed that she knew all along and almost had a break down in the restaurant. She knew that I was going to be steadfast about my chosen profession and that no amount of guilt-tripping or the emotional blackmail tactics that used to be effective were going to work this time. Since the outing our relationship has shockingly IMPROVED because I have nothing to hide! Even though she thinks it's a part of a manic episode I'm having (NO she's not a Psychiatrist) and that I'll snap out of it, I feel FREE!! Am I fucked up? I have become divorced from societies' opinion of me and that includes my parents. I lead an unconventional lifestyle and I'm totally HAPPY! Are there any other providers or hobbyists who have chosen to "out" themselves to loved ones and feel liberated? Please share!!
Yes. After several years of lying and avoiding tricky questions I finally chose to come out with the truth to my nearest and dearest. Although it was tough for them to full understand at first, in the long run my relationship with my mother and father has improved 100%. No more lying and it was that which was killing my relationship with my parents and in effect leaving me feeling isolated from the people I cared about the most and, who cared about me. I am now a huge advocate to other ladies I’ve met in the industry, many feeling isolated and displaced in society, to be proud and honest about your proffession to the people you love.
However I will say, I do understand that its difficult to be loud and proud when in many countries we are breaking the law! Legalisation of our profession would go along way to removing the stigma attached to our lives and improve the well being of us ladies. Im English and fortunate enough to be living in a country when I am providing a legally recognised service with a tax code! There is of course still a social stigma attached to my profession but I believe the more people come out! Then societies attitudes will change. This is about Women Rights and we can learn a lot form the Gay Rights movement of recent years..
Collectively we are a bunch of cowards, sneaking around afraid to tell the world that either we pay for sex or get paid for sex as if it's something that we should be ashamed of.
Pot smokers, at the risk of imprisonment finally have made some progress, Gays at a much higher personal risk to life and limb are out of the closet and are now free to even marry their same sex lover when the very thought of "two fags" getting married was laughable only a few short years ago. TS people have made their case as well, and are well on their way to being mainstream, although they still have a long ways to go.
All these other groups have made huge progress by "fighting the good fight" except for hookers and johns who seem to be content hiding in the shadows. We are just like the people who don't vote, but then whine about how badly the politicians are fucking things up.
Of course so does everyone else and I can't think of a single negative effect it's had on my life
The only discretion I take is to protect the secrets of other people where it comes seeing hookers. IOW, I won't go blabbing in front of my married friends wives because of the impact it will have on him, not me. Personally you could launch a smear campaign against me and tell the whole world what I do and no one would care, it's already very old news.
Speaking of moms, my mother is face book family with an ex hooker ex GF of mine. She knows all about how we met and yes, I did meet her as a paying client. My mother is just fine with all that. The only thing she cares about is my happiness. Damn, I've got a great mother.
For the record, If I had ever seen my "gym crush" for a session, you can bet I would have talked to her about how comfortable she was going to feel about how we interact at the gym, but of course in my case if I had been "crushing on her" most likely I would have already at least said hi to her long ago at the gym. I can't think of better motivation for working out harder than to have a hot girl around to get your juices running and if you actually get to fuck her, it's even better.
My mom won't tell ANYONE the truth about what I do even if they ask her directly. She has always been an expert at putting on façades so this situation will be no different!
In and out of the hobby. But not caring about the worlds opinion doesn't make you so. It is good to be honest too. No one likes having an ax over their heads waiting to fall. Once I tried to keep my wife and my hobbying a secret, but we got outed. Well I did at any rate and my wife outed herself in my defense. It was the best thing that happened to us. It is so freeing not to have to hide even if I lost friends over it. I do feel liberated.
She sounds like a Good Wife And who cares about the friends they come and go as the seasons..
Posted By: scoed
In and out of the hobby. But not caring about the worlds opinion doesn't make you so. It is good to be honest too. No one likes having an ax over their heads waiting to fall. Once I tried to keep my wife and my hobbying a secret, but we got outed. Well I did at any rate and my wife outed herself in my defense. It was the best thing that happened to us. It is so freeing not to have to hide even if I lost friends over it. I do feel liberated.
I have a large family whom I'm close to. They all know that from time to time a visit certain "lady-friends", and that's about it. We all remain very discreet and tacit about our thoughts and feelings on the subject, but it's been that way for years now and it seems to work fine
Please I would greatly appreciate it, if posted anonymously as well. I just want congratulate her/him and just to let her/him know that I would feel the same, for being free...... I am replying to your vent/share...........Feedback to congratulate you. I am so happy for you. I Love what I do as well.... I truly wish I could feel the same as you are. As for me feeling free, no guilt trips is priceless. Is just too bad that we are living in the hypocritical society. Once again, Congratulations. Happy Holidays!.!.
I'm posting this anonymously to get objective feedback from ladies and gents alike. Let me just preface this by saying that I LOVE my job and would not do it if I didn't love it. I chose to do this as a profession and made a conscious, well-informed decision to do so. I obviously enjoy sex as I'm in my sexual prime but I THOROUGHLY enjoy the diverse, fascinating, and cool men and women I've had the pleasure of meeting thus far.
My mom lives in the same city I do and doesn't miss a beat. She had noticed the improvement of my physical appearance and the sudden change in my financial situation and made plenty of comments and asked a million questions. I really never intended to divulge my profession to her but I decided I had to be truthful with her about how I was able to afford the car I was going to pick her up in to take her to surgery. The week before her surgery I "came out" to her at dinner. She claimed that she knew all along and almost had a break down in the restaurant. She knew that I was going to be steadfast about my chosen profession and that no amount of guilt-tripping or the emotional blackmail tactics that used to be effective were going to work this time. Since the outing our relationship has shockingly IMPROVED because I have nothing to hide! Even though she thinks it's a part of a manic episode I'm having (NO she's not a Psychiatrist) and that I'll snap out of it, I feel FREE!! Am I fucked up? I have become divorced from societies' opinion of me and that includes my parents. I lead an unconventional lifestyle and I'm totally HAPPY! Are there any other providers or hobbyists who have chosen to "out" themselves to loved ones and feel liberated? Please share!!
Funny. The last provider I saw told me that my dog knew what we were doing behind closed doors. I just can't figure out why she (my dog) pulls condoms out of the trash and leaves them around the house. Little Bitch!
Your mom sounds like mine never misses a beat. When I opened up to my parents about this they were not happy but understood where I was coming from. We always had the relationship were we wouldn't lie to each other and give it to each other straight. As the child I always gave them the respect of listening to their opinion to what I shared with them. Circumstances of my life have led me here but I don't see me doing this the rest of my life. I enjoy the sex and meeting some amazing people.
If my life went the way that I thought it was heading two years ago I never would have found this world. My inner circle love hearing the stories I share but deep down I wish I was them married with kids living the good life. They wish they were me having sex with amazing looking women who are uninhibited.
Am I fucked up yes I am but I would never hurt a fly and only do things that make me feel comfortable. As long as I'm self aware of whats going on around me I'll be fine. People don't understand me but that's only because they haven't lived a minute in my shoes.
Posted By: need2vent
I'm posting this anonymously to get objective feedback from ladies and gents alike. Let me just preface this by saying that I LOVE my job and would not do it if I didn't love it. I chose to do this as a profession and made a conscious, well-informed decision to do so. I obviously enjoy sex as I'm in my sexual prime but I THOROUGHLY enjoy the diverse, fascinating, and cool men and women I've had the pleasure of meeting thus far.
My mom lives in the same city I do and doesn't miss a beat. She had noticed the improvement of my physical appearance and the sudden change in my financial situation and made plenty of comments and asked a million questions. I really never intended to divulge my profession to her but I decided I had to be truthful with her about how I was able to afford the car I was going to pick her up in to take her to surgery. The week before her surgery I "came out" to her at dinner. She claimed that she knew all along and almost had a break down in the restaurant. She knew that I was going to be steadfast about my chosen profession and that no amount of guilt-tripping or the emotional blackmail tactics that used to be effective were going to work this time. Since the outing our relationship has shockingly IMPROVED because I have nothing to hide! Even though she thinks it's a part of a manic episode I'm having (NO she's not a Psychiatrist) and that I'll snap out of it, I feel FREE!! Am I fucked up? I have become divorced from societies' opinion of me and that includes my parents. I lead an unconventional lifestyle and I'm totally HAPPY! Are there any other providers or hobbyists who have chosen to "out" themselves to loved ones and feel liberated? Please share!!
You know I understand the urge to be in a "normal" relationship but I ask myself if I could just turn off my desire for uninhibited sex with multiple partners. I won't try and answer that question today but I do think about it from time to time.
One of my main axioms is never to divulge this hobby to anyone. I try to be very careful with what I do so as not to have to explain any certain situations. I wouldn’t even tell my best friend if he shared that he’d like to do this, and wondered if I knew anything about it. The other thing I’ve gotten over is the guilt, whether it be from society, religion, or familial. It’s just a decision I made without telling anyone. I don’t have to have a big pronouncement to feel free. It’s from within. Another reason for not telling anyone is something I alluded to in recent post. It’s the secrecy and taboo of it all that’s alluring. I wouldn’t want to lose that allure with a coming out.
But that’s just me. If you felt like you had to say something to feel free, then that’s you. And since it was you, it was a cool thing to do. You’re not crazy. Not for choosing this lifestyle, nor for telling Mom. It’s all good. But it does make me wonder. We are all sexual creatures with wild fantasies, even pious figures (just ask a few priests). Even though she may come down with an array of commandments (thou shalt not cim thy neighbor’s husband), and never admit it, your coming out has likely done wonders for her fantasies.
When a boyfriend of mine found out- (as they always seem to do) he was shocked!! The same man who sleeping with other woman the whole time; had a rude awakening.. However he then became curious about the industry; wanted to know about my encounters, book another girl with me, etc. etc. and then wanted to start an agency with me!! wtf.
I was great to not hide my business anymore; but just have to choose who i can share with!
Its a bonus when your best girlfriend was formerly a prospective client!
Guys I Golf and Snow ski with know. Some of them are hobbyists as well. We have had a few casual conversations, but really have not compared notes.
It would not surprise me if my siblings at least suspect. I have the wherewithal and opportunity to P4p. At this time, I do not have a SO, and it seems as if I am always in a good mood. They are aware that I am comfortable financially.
Still I find it is better not to kiss and tell especially at work....like they say "Lose lips sink ships"!
Posted By: need2vent
I'm posting this anonymously to get objective feedback from ladies and gents alike. Let me just preface this by saying that I LOVE my job and would not do it if I didn't love it. I chose to do this as a profession and made a conscious, well-informed decision to do so. I obviously enjoy sex as I'm in my sexual prime but I THOROUGHLY enjoy the diverse, My, and cool men and women I've had the pleasure of meeting thus far.
My mom lives in the same city I do and doesn't miss a beat. She had noticed the improvement of my physical appearance and the sudden change in my financial situation and made plenty of comments and asked a million questions. I really never intended to divulge my profession to her but I decided I had to be truthful with her about how I was able to afford the car I was going to pick her up in to take her to surgery. The week before her surgery I "came out" to her at dinner. She claimed that she knew all along and almost had a break down in the restaurant. She knew that I was going to be steadfast about my chosen profession and that no amount of guilt-tripping or the emotional blackmail tactics that used to be effective were going to work this time. Since the outing our relationship has shockingly IMPROVED because I have nothing to hide! Even though she thinks it's a part of a manic episode I'm having (NO she's not a Psychiatrist) and that I'll snap out of it, I feel FREE!! Am I fucked up? I have become divorced from societies' opinion of me and that includes my parents. I lead an unconventional lifestyle and I'm totally HAPPY! Are there any other providers or hobbyists who have chosen to "out" themselves to loved ones and feel liberated? Please share!!
My parents are both gone, but I have told my sisters...it just came up in conversation once about my health issues and surgery and it's really just part of the story...and I have never been ashamed it embarrassed about my life choices...
I'm posting this anonymously to get objective feedback from ladies and gents alike. Let me just preface this by saying that I LOVE my job and would not do it if I didn't love it. I chose to do this as a profession and made a conscious, well-informed decision to do so. I obviously enjoy sex as I'm in my sexual prime but I THOROUGHLY enjoy the diverse, fascinating, and cool men and women I've had the pleasure of meeting thus far.
My mom lives in the same city I do and doesn't miss a beat. She had noticed the improvement of my physical appearance and the sudden change in my financial situation and made plenty of comments and asked a million questions. I really never intended to divulge my profession to her but I decided I had to be truthful with her about how I was able to afford the car I was going to pick her up in to take her to surgery. The week before her surgery I "came out" to her at dinner. She claimed that she knew all along and almost had a break down in the restaurant. She knew that I was going to be steadfast about my chosen profession and that no amount of guilt-tripping or the emotional blackmail tactics that used to be effective were going to work this time. Since the outing our relationship has shockingly IMPROVED because I have nothing to hide! Even though she thinks it's a part of a manic episode I'm having (NO she's not a Psychiatrist) and that I'll snap out of it, I feel FREE!! Am I fucked up? I have become divorced from societies' opinion of me and that includes my parents. I lead an unconventional lifestyle and I'm totally HAPPY! Are there any other providers or hobbyists who have chosen to "out" themselves to loved ones and feel liberated? Please share!!
Even if I did out myself none of my friends would care since we have better things to worry about like where we are eating out this week or what movie to watch next month. But its my private life, no one needs to know! For this reason I've never felt the need to expose this part of me. Its not a big deal! I don't need the attention nor want it and I am good at keeping secrets.
You think you are fucked up for being happy providing? I enjoy a fresh bloody rare steak cut from an innocent animal. I support deforestation by buying wooden furniture. Though these things I do don't look evil it has been made to sound evil. Its the same thing with sex work, sex is natural and for some reason getting paid to do it isn't? Relax!
Good for you...I have a few friends who know and already got rejected by one long time friend.i dont live in the same city as most all of my family so there's no reason to come out with that information for me nor would I but I'm sure it feels good regardless
From the provider side...the longer you do this, the more difficult it becomes to conceal. It's probably different for a hobbyist, especially one who dabbles every few weeks or so. For someone like that, I can't think of any good reason to disclose this activity to anybody...it just invites judgment and misinterpretation (Aren't they all trafficked or pimped? What if you get aids?).
I was outed to family by a stalker a few years back. I told them that I'd had photos taken for a boyfriend, and the photographer's site had been hacked for the purpose of blackmailing his clients. Screen shots of my site, ads, and reviews were sent, but I advised family not to open the images for fear of a trojan (not sure if they opened them or not). I think they choose to accept what I said, but I doubt they were entirely convinced. In any case, we never had an honest conversation about it, and I doubt we ever will.
A few friends seem to think that I have a sugar daddy hidden somewhere in NYC. But I am pretty sure they'd be shocked if they knew the full truth.
Aside from that, I've told one person, fairly recently. I was/am interested in him romantically, and wanted to be upfront with him (we are not romantically involved nor is that likely, although we spend time together socially). We've discussed 'my work' very minimally and superficially. Sometimes I can tell that he is curious...he tries to fill in the blanks by guessing, and I wish he'd just ask me what he wants to know. I sometimes have a desire to explain...but, to be involved in the sex trade (on either side) is just to be misunderstood by those who aren't, and that's just a fact of this life...nothing to do but accept it.
ACCEPTANCE is the answer to ALL my problems today!! I'm used to the generic, ignorant questions and comments I get about not only my profession but my ethnicity, my appearance, my height, it's standard fare isn't it!? LOL. Thanks for sharing your experience!
I am sure you know the look of abject horror many women put on the moment a guy (or a woman) tells them they have either paid for sex or been paid for sex. Sometimes after the initial shock wears off, it's replaced by curiosity, but in many cases people just can't accept the fact that P4P is essentially harmless and not morally deplorable.
I have found that dating hookers tends to eliminate most of that kind of angst, although I do find it a bit amusing in an ironic kind of way how many hookers are still interested in knowing what my "number" is, and how shocked even a hooker can be to learn my number is well into the thousands. Go figure.
I thought you mainly dated hookers as a status symbol. Not that there is anything wrong with dating hookers//providers, the only perk to doing so IMO would be the financial one.
They are just like any other woman, they just have a job where the money may come in at a much faster pace.
and yes, a lot of hookers are much less needy and clingy from both a financial and emotional POV than most other "types" of women.
I also end up dating hookers for the same reason that a lot of guys date different types of women, I happen to meet a lot of hookers, so I guess it's only natural that I would hit it off with a few.
There is another perk to dating hookers and that is unlike other women where you have to date a while before every finding out if you are sexually compatible, with a hooker you already know if you are good in bed together.
"There is another perk to dating hookers and that is unlike other women where you have to date a while before every finding out if you are sexually compatible, with a hooker you already know if you are good in bed together. "
That is definitely a perk of hookers dating clients, as well as clients dating hookers.
My last BF was a civvie. I remember feeling TERRIFIED. Does he have big cock? (OUCH!) Does he want something stuck up his butt, or will he try to stick something up mine? Will he take hours to come? Will he have an elaborate role-play scenarios that depends on me dressing in medieval garb...or possibly, prancing around in pigtails and a cheerleader outfit (I had to do that for a client, and felt RIDICULOUS)? Does he like biting/spanking/hair pulling?
My last two BF's were clients, and at least I knew what I was getting into.
Mainly because I don't know what she likes, many are fairly reserved sexually at least upon your first time being with them. I'm probably not talking about seasoned vets here, just the majority of my experiences.
Posted By: VOO-doo
My last BF was a civvie. I remember feeling TERRIFIED. Does he have big cock? (OUCH!) Does he want something stuck up his butt, or will he try to stick something up mine? Will he take hours to come? Will he have an elaborate role-play scenarios that depends on me dressing in medieval garb...or possibly, prancing around in pigtails and a cheerleader outfit (I had to do that for a client, and felt RIDICULOUS)? Does he like biting/spanking/hair pulling?
My last two BF's were clients, and at least I knew what I was getting into.
I'm sure your wondering about your last civvie BF, was mostly due to curiosity. I can't help but point out that your curiosity is also a bit of a preconception.
I like learning what a woman likes, and seeing if she is into things she may not have done before. For me that is part of the fun of dating a new person.
I've had at least 5 personas...with multiple agency working names, 2 pre-stalking independent personas, post-stalking (current) persona, even a short-lived stint at a dungeon...
As my newest persona, I can't tell you how many people have picked me either because I was 'new', or because I don't see 'tons of people'. Or, in one case, because I forgot to check the Women and Couples box on my Eros ad...'YOU don't see women. Some people see..anybody!!!' My ultra-conservative Midwestern client said with horror.
That's one reason why I actually like TER vets. It's always refreshing when I don't have to lie, and say, 'Gee, I had NO IDEA that some women do [[insert activity or number of clients seen per day here]]....gasp!!'
When doubling with other women, I actually prefer a seasoned veteran over 30.
The more experience someone has in this hobby, the less judgmental he/she is
and I agree that with a few exceptions the more experience people have here, the less judgmental they "tend" to be.
All lot of what seems to be judgmental attitudes about this hobby is simply ignorance, and most of that type of thing fades away as a person gains experience, but some people NEVER seem to get it.
M biggest complaint about the term whore monger, is that on TER the word comes with the stigma of immaturity, and perhaps a bit of insecurity. On the GD board obnoxiousness seems to be the dominate personality trait, which might bee fine in the girls locker. My tolerance level for an obnoxious female is rather low.
I might tolerate it from a gal in a relationship where we are intimate with one another, but only for a short time. I don't need to be around someone who is stuck up, just a lady who can conduct herself with respect. That's not being judgmental.
Not that I dislike American women, or that foreign women can't be obnoxious. I think that foreign women, providers included conduct themselves with much more respect than domestic women.
I blame American culture, and not the lovely American ladies for this phenomenon.
During the chit chat, one of my hostesses told me how her mother found out about what she was really doing. She accidentally found out when [no need for boring details]. I gathered that it was difficult at first, but her mother realizes that she won't be changing her daughter at this stage of things and just encourages her to be safe and stay safe and, it seems, is there for her if needed.
was my ex. She married me solely to solve her money problems & after she bankrupted me, threw me over like the trash. I did not hobby until many years later... or cheat... or look at other women. I'd have been so much better off if I'd hobbied instead.
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff .... dad .... I became a prostitute ...."
"Ye what??!! Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad .... as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a savings certificate for $5 million.
For me little brother, this gold Rolex.
And for ye, daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership in the country club..." .... (takes a breath) ... "and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera , and ....."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
They are the two important relatives who matter to me. At my age 83, many of my close friends and relatives are dead. Now my best friends are providers or friends who live far away. So who cares that I pay for sex. Without my lady friends I would probably not still be alive. My wife of 53 years was the love of my life and I never strayed. It took me about 4 years to finally seek feminine intimacy. I've never regretted it
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and the sudden change in my financial situation and made plenty of comments and asked a million questions. I really never intended to divulge my profession to her but I decided I had to be truthful with her about how I was able to afford the car I was going to pick her up in to take her to surgery. The week before her surgery I "came out" to her at dinner. She claimed that she knew all along and almost had a break down in the restaurant. She knew that I was going to be steadfast about my chosen profession and that no amount of guilt-tripping or the emotional blackmail tactics that used to be effective were going to work this time. Since the outing our relationship has shockingly IMPROVED because I have nothing to hide! Even though she thinks it's a part of a manic episode I'm having (NO she's not a Psychiatrist) and that I'll snap out of it, I feel FREE!! Am I fucked up? I have become divorced from societies' opinion of me and that includes my parents. I lead an unconventional lifestyle and I'm totally HAPPY! Are there any other providers or hobbyists who have chosen to "out" themselves to loved ones and feel liberated? Please share!!
and it was that which was killing my relationship with my parents and in effect leaving me feeling isolated from the people I cared about the most and, who cared about me. 
