TER General Board

What would you have done in this situation?
XtraVirgin 25 Reviews 1574 reads
posted

Recently, I experienced my worst session ever. And it's nothing that the provider blatantly did, but I was a bit shocked when I discovered what an ugly person she was on the inside. A little background info... she is well known in the adult entertainment industry, so her donation rate is quite hefty. Anyway, I've seen her a few times. She was very sweet in person, and we seemed to get along well. She has a twitter and I even bought her something off her amazon wish list for her birthday. She contacted me when she was back in town, both through text and twitter. She even gave me her personal number. Now I realize I'm just a sucker to her. I also helped vouch for her on review boards, being that she has no reviews. That really helped her on the business side, which she thanked me for. I went above and beyond on being nice to her.

On my most recent visit, I saw her again. I showered, came out, and was ready to have some fun. She excused herself to the bathroom. She left her cell phone out with a text message exchange on the screen. I didn't mean to spy, but my eyes were drawn to the words on the screen. I was appalled to see that she was talking a bunch of shit about me to some guy, calling me a bunch of racist names, and even complaining about me taking a shower and it "not being part of (the donation)". That last part amused me. I always thought providers appreciated when we showered. I guess she likes the smell and taste of sweaty balls.

I scanned the room to see if my envelope was still out. If it was, I would have taken it and left. Unfortunately it was not. I decided to go through with the session because I figured there was no way I'd get my money back. But I didn't enjoy it at all. Took me a long time to get hard and I felt dead inside. I guess i shouldnt be shocked that not all things are real in this business, but i was shocked at how shitty she was. What would you have done?

-- Modified on 11/21/2015 1:21:52 PM

-- Modified on 11/21/2015 1:22:19 PM

-- Modified on 11/21/2015 1:51:18 PM

You don't want to see how sausage or laws are made, add provider's personal lives to the list.

Not exactly sure what I would have done.

Maybe left a quick note that an emergency came up and split.  I'd then always find an excuse not to see her.  It's tough getting dates if you're known as a snooper, though she's a dolt for leaving her phone out like that.

 

Posted By: XtraVirgin
Recently, I experienced my worst session ever. And it's nothing that the provider blatantly did, but I was a bit shocked when I discovered what an ugly person she was on the inside. A little background info... she is well known in the adult entertainment industry, so her donation rate is quite hefty. Anyway, I've seen her a few times. She was very sweet in person, and we seemed to get along well. She has a twitter and I even bought her something off her amazon wish list for her birthday. She contacted me when she was back in town, both through text and twitter. She even gave me her personal number. Now I realize I'm just a sucker to her.  
   
 On my most recent visit, I saw her again. I showered, came out, and was ready to have some fun. She excused herself to the bathroom. She left her cell phone out with a text message exchange on the screen. I didn't mean to spy, but my eyes were drawn to the words on the screen. I was appalled to see that she was talking a bunch of shit about me to some guy, calling me a bunch of racist names, and even complaining about me taking a shower and it "not being part of (the donation)". That last part amused me. I always thought prov I ders appreciated when we showered. I guess she likes the smell and taste of sweaty balls.  
   
 I scanned the room to see if my envelope was still out. If it was, I would have taken it and left. Unfortunately it was not. I decided to go through with the session because I figured there was no way I'd get my money back. But I didn't enjoy it at all. Took me a long time to get hard and I felt dead inside. I guess i shouldnt be shocked that mot all things are real in this business, but i was shocked at how shitty she was. What would you have done?  
   
 -- Modified on 11/21/2015 1:21:52 PM

-- Modified on 11/21/2015 1:22:19 PM

I guess it's a good thing I didn't tell her off then, which I was very tempted to do at some point

Alan_Nimm454 reads

Just because the woman did a dumb thing and left her phone where it could be accessed by a client doesn't mean he should have taken advantage of the situation.  

It's not something that should be done to anyone, but consider in this case it was done to someone who had been "very sweet" to this guy.  

And he's complaining about HER actions.  Two wrongs don't make a right.

I didn't exactly pick her phone up and scroll through it. I was surprised she had her phone out and quickly glanced at it. It was a narural reaction. When there are racial terms being thrown around in CAPS LOCK, it's hard to miss. Was I supposed to shield my eyes?

Alan_Nimm461 reads

... "Hey, you left your phone!"

You might think this is ridiculous. I don't think so. I wouldn't want a provider looking at my text messages unless I'd invited her to do so.  

Not long ago, I was at my ATF's incall at the end of a date and she wanted me to show her how to do something on TER. So we went over to her laptop and did that. Then she switched to her calendar to check something. I stood there for a second before I realized what she'd done, and turned away from the screen and said "Shit, I'm sorry I shouldn't be looking at your calendar!"  She laughed and said it wasn't a problem. But that was for her to decide, not me.

My Mother taught me to keep my nose in my own damn business, period

Yes, it was. I sat down on the edge of the bed, not seeing her phone immediately, then caught a glimpse of it when I was surprised to see it laying out. The words she used in caps lock stuck out like a sore thumb.

And apparently your mother didn't teach you how to not be a prick. You can take your condescending attitude and shove it.

GaGambler406 reads

but they are absolutely right about you. You got just what you deserved. You should have respected her privacy, then you would still be in fantasyland thinking that she actually liked you.

Ethnic slurs are hardly a capital offense, people call me all sorts of ethnic slurs, so get over yourself. You invaded her privacy and your weak ass defense that she left it out in the open reminds me of a car thief who's defense is "Well she shouldn't have left her keys in the car, she must have wanted me to steal it"

I am sure you realize by now that none of us are buying your lame ass story about "accidentally" being able to see what the text said. and even if the text started off with NIGGER in big bold letters, what right did you have reading the rest of it to see if the text was even about you? For the record, that's exactly how I start my texts to a very good friend of mine, and yes she's black. She starts off most of her texts to me "Hey Chink" it's just how we talk to each other.  

At least she is rid of you now, so something good came out of all this.

Alan_Nimm353 reads

...or I'd make posts that you consider suck-ups (and that's pretty much all of 'em, right?) under my TER handle instead of my alias, so the providers would know exactly who's sucking up to them.  

Now since you use a handle, your suck up posts, of which there's many (I can name names if you want to dispute that) can be directly linked to the whoremongering pig (your term for yourself) who made them. So my hat's off to you, you're much better at this BSU stuff than I am.  :)

-- Modified on 11/21/2015 8:12:46 PM

GaGambler315 reads

My main point was that I agreed with both you and Russ that the OP was the one in the wrong, regardless of what the lady in question was texting. Once he violated her privacy, I consider anything he found "fruit of the poisoned tree" and anything else he had to say just so much blah blah blah.

and yes I do own my suck up posts, but my "asshole" post outnumber my BSU posts by a rather healthy margin. Actually I own all of my posts and I haven't made an alias post in years, I don't even have an alias and have not had one since they changed the rules about multiple aliases several years back.

Hey you "looked". Don't try to down-play or justify it. Because you can't.  Just own it and move on.

Posted By: XtraVirgin
I didn't exactly pick her phone up and scroll through it. I was surprised she had her phone out and quickly glanced at it. It was a narural reaction. When there are racial terms being thrown around in CAPS LOCK, it's hard to miss. Was I supposed to shield my eyes?

Sure what I would have done in your situation but you are under no obligation to see her again. As always you generally do not know the provider's background and would be surprised if you knew her history. Always best to keep relations with providers at arms length.

Sometimes it is better NOT knowing what a hooker really thinks. Clearly it is not all good. Just be happy that the act is good enough that you never know(not always an act though)...not in your case though.

....considering that I couldn't get my money back, nor was it worth it to call her out and make a scene - that would have been more satisfying, but it would not have helped the immediate situation.

The next time she calls you for a date will be an interesting opportunity on your part, for sure.

Now, you have a golden opportunity to buy her an appropriate racist gift.  

Posted By: lopaw
....considering that I couldn't get my money back, nor was it worth it to call her out and make a scene - that would have been more satisfying, but it would not have helped the immediate situation.  
   
 The next time she calls you for a date will be an interesting opportunity on your part, for sure.

FatVern363 reads

Posted By: lopaw

   
 The next time she calls you for a date will be an interesting opportunity on your part, for sure.
He can tell her, how much her opinion of him is important to him.

Fuck that! I can't believed to stayed and fucked her! The only upside is you can review her BUT checking her phone was very fucked up on your part and there is NO way you can justify that.  

Posted By: XtraVirgin
Recently, I experienced my worst session ever. And it's nothing that the provider blatantly did, but I was a bit shocked when I discovered what an ugly person she was on the inside. A little background info... she is well known in the adult entertainment industry, so her donation rate is quite hefty. Anyway, I've seen her a few times. She was very sweet in person, and we seemed to get along well. She has a twitter and I even bought her something off her amazon wish list for her birthday. She contacted me when she was back in town, both through text and twitter. She even gave me her personal number. Now I realize I'm just a sucker to her.  
   
 On my most recent visit, I saw her again. I showered, came out, and was ready to have some fun. She excused herself to the bathroom. She left her cell phone out with a text message exchange on the screen. I didn't mean to spy, but my eyes were drawn to the words on the screen. I was appalled to see that she was talking a bunch of shit about me to some guy, calling me a bunch of racist names, and even complaining about me taking a shower and it "not being part of (the donation)". That last part amused me. I always thought prov I ders appreciated when we showered. I guess she likes the smell and taste of sweaty balls.  
   
 I scanned the room to see if my envelope was still out. If it was, I would have taken it and left. Unfortunately it was not. I decided to go through with the session because I figured there was no way I'd get my money back. But I didn't enjoy it at all. Took me a long time to get hard and I felt dead inside. I guess i shouldnt be shocked that mot all things are real in this business, but i was shocked at how shitty she was. What would you have done?  
   
 -- Modified on 11/21/2015 1:21:52 PM

-- Modified on 11/21/2015 1:22:19 PM

FatVern445 reads

Who do you think was on the other end her publicist, BF, or another VIP client?

Who ever it was they were probably just taking her shit so she could go about her day.

You should have read what her correspondent had to say.

Posted By: XtraVirgin
I didn't mean to spy, but my eyes were drawn to the words on the screen. I was appalled to see that she was talking a bunch of shit about me to some guy, calling me a bunch of racist names, and even complaining about me taking a shower and it "not being part of (the donation)".

Most likely one of the above. They talked about other crap and seemed to know each other well

hidden343 reads

I would have texted as her just for fun ...

Caught a provider mocking me once (while I'm mixing her fucking drink) as I was just talking about my day at work. Turned around and caught her doing it. I was more than a regular, dinner dates, trips to Vegas, so I asked her as we were leaving to go to dinner "we're you making fun of me"... she says "yes, no, maybe". I let it go, but I did fuck her extra hard later that night.

Who knows what they really think of us. Maybe your racist comments lady was just placating the person on the other end. Maybe she really thinks and feels what she was texting.....but unless it's really bugging you, let it go. Particularly if she treats you right, the way you want to be treated by an escort.  

I don't usually drop F bombs like this, but did for effect. Follow your heart my friend, do what feels right.

MfSD>>>>

So what’s left: Fantasy. (Sometimes you just got to put a little extra into it.)

Posted By: MfSD
Caught a provider mocking me once...... I let it go, but I did fuck her extra hard later that night.
Let me get this straight.... You took out your frustration about (admittedly shitty) provider behavior with sexual violence? Yikes.....

Posted By: chelseaxlane
 
   
Posted By: MfSD
Caught a provider mocking me once...... I let it go, but I did fuck her extra hard later that night.
   
 Let me get this straight.... You took out your frustration about (admittedly shitty) provider behavior with sexual violence? Yikes.....
 
Here's what I wrote in context:  "Caught a provider mocking me once (while I'm mixing her fucking drink) as I was just talking about my day at work. Turned around and caught her doing it. I was more than a regular, dinner dates, trips to Vegas, so I asked her as we were leaving to go to dinner "we're you making fun of me"... she says "yes, no, maybe". I let it go, but I did fuck her extra hard later that night.  
 
Who knows what they really think of us. Maybe your racist comments lady was just placating the person on the other end. Maybe she really thinks and feels what she was texting.....but unless it's really bugging you, let it go. Particularly if she treats you right, the way you want to be treated by an escort.  
 
I don't usually drop F bombs like this, but did for effect. Follow your heart my friend, do what feels right."

 

So no, you don't have it straight. And I'm seeing the lady in question a little later this month in Vegas.  You're free to selectively edit and rearrange what I wrote (yikes), just as I am free to point out that you did it.  

MfSD>>>>
 

-- Modified on 11/22/2015 4:03:41 AM

FatVern317 reads

I wouldn't try to take it too personal either, as far as the racial slurs go, some people just talk that way, instead of using PC terms.

Be glad you don't have to deal with this woman everyday like they do.

 
... and she probably thought you were a chump for buying her B-day gifts, most likely this is where her resentment for you is rooted.

Who was complaining, her or the person on the other end?

Has it occurred to you that she left it out accidentally on purpose?  

Sometimes people really do want to let others know what they think of them... even when it would be financially idiotic to reveal such feelings.

I can't imagine texting about a client that way, knowing I had said such things, and THEN leave the texts open for discovery.

I think she wanted you to find them

I highly doubt it. She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer lol

FatVern326 reads

That does make sense. I think a lot of people end up letting people know things this way.

I would have never known about what was on her phone, because I would have never looked at "her" phone, none of my damn business what is on "her" phone. Boundaries!

FatVern356 reads

How was her performance? If she provided an excellent performance, and you felt it was bad due to your emotional state that's your fault.

I already acknowledged I couldn't enjoy it but that it was my own doing

FatVern318 reads

If she provided a good session, that speaks volumes to her ability to perform her job since you now know how much she truly dislikes you.

When my job had me dealing directly with my customers I began to dislike them, the more I saw them. This had nothing to do with them on a personal level, I just associated them with work... and I say "even if you like your job, most of the time you rather be some place else with someone else.

for me not to do the same thing. I have had many chances to snoop on my ATF's phone when she has left it but I have resisted.  I have caught glimpses of some text messages she is writing while sitting next to me in the car when we are on an adventure or something but it certainly wasn't anything like this. I guess there is something about not wanting to spoil the fantasy... if that's all it really is.

And I see this big 'ol picture of her all innocent-looking and snuggly with some guy who I assumed was her boyfriend. :-)

I just ask her "Does he know what you do?"

She says. "NO, and he can NEVER know."  :-)  That shit cracks me up. Like someone her boyfriend knows is never going to be surfing the web for some company and then stumble across her site with all of her face shots all over it.

I think you just nailed it when you said that some chicks just aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. I wouldn't make anything of your experience. Some women will never be happy no matter what they do or who they're with. And some just generally hate all people, so I doubt it's anything personal or specifically directed at you. Even though it may have seemed like it at the time.


-- Modified on 11/21/2015 4:42:08 PM

hotplants337 reads

between the OP, the provider in question, and this response, we may finally have empirical proof of this

I've had that happen  twice. Once she had me use her phone to do a video of a BJ. Another time she was going through photos, showing me her son, her mother, then quickly flipped past one of a guy I assume was her boyfriend (who cares?).

Never had one leave disparaging comments about me for me to see, though. It's not just careless, it's cruel.

I would let all know who she is and let the market work but thats just me.

Intrigued*329 reads

However you found out what this lady thinks about you, consider the money you spent on her a part of the tuition towards your hobbyist degree.

You will learn many lessons about hobbying specifically, and human nature in general, before you graduate Son.

And before you get too indignant, consider the price this young lady might have paid to get her education.  Probably more than you ever will.

Take this lesson and apply it as you proceed happily to the next hobbying experience.  



-- Modified on 11/21/2015 6:47:50 PM

to find out the ugly side of her nature; although, not so lucky about not recovering your donation to get out, but since you’ve gone that far, many in your situation may want to get something out of it without taking a total loss by getting nothing. (I probably would have gone through with the session, too.) However, since it was you going through with it, it did affect your emotions and you did not enjoy it.

As far as you being amused that the shower shouldn’t count towards the session, it may be preferable to her that it did count towards the allotted time because she wanted to spend as little of it with you as physically possible.

As far as what others have responded here on this thread, I wouldn’t sweat the small stuff about defending yourself against those accusing you of snooping here, however happenstance and unintentional your excuse; just look at is as a good omen that you discovered it and vow to never see her again.

It may take time to get past the ugly and racial accusations you’ve discovered, but not every person is wired the same in the use of their language. Some people have less class than others and some people have more class than others. The ones with class resort to an euphemism in their word choices when they don’t take to another.

As far as myself, no matter how thick-skinned I’d like to believe I may be, I would still have a tough time taking a dislike beyond the time spent with a woman, especially when I derived so much pleasure from her. I would prefer that she regarded me with fondness beyond the session and fantasy.  

Fantasy is good and healthy, but once you find out a truth and see a truth and it is hateful and raciest, then it is stupid to continue to believe in the lie, like in this case sex takes precedence over your own self-worth. (No wonder you were so uncomfortable.) Like the saying goes; fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. You can get better and more like minded without the degrading disposition.

So, it is best to shrug off the hate and racism and conclude that that provider does not know how to run her mind with decency and respect towards a paying client (joking around or not). There are other providers with a better sense of worth and respect towards their clients and don’t talk trash that degrades. So, lick your wounds, get past the stellar reviews that gave her and that may have helped her in her business, and move onto the next

EmmaCorey328 reads

Admittedly, it was wrong of you to pry.

But on the same token, if she never wanted you to know that she shouldn't put it out there. Whether verbal or written, it shouldn't leave your mind.

Fromundamyeyes296 reads

Nor my hooker's.  
None of my business, ever!
I learned a long time ago that if she didn't tell me, it is none of my business.  

You can never unsee something like that.

Hopefully, you'll be  able to let go of it and not be suspicious of other providers in the future.
Tough one.

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