So, I know this guy, John. He works in a sausage factory. He meets me in the bar after work and tells me he thinks he's crazy. He says he has an almost uncontrollable urge to put is penis in the meat grinder. What? I exclaim. Why would you want to do that. John tells me "it just seems like the natural thing to do."

I think about what John has told me. I ask if he has considered seeing a shrink. He says, "No." Well, maybe you should, I say. I"ll think about it, he replies.

The next day, John sits beside me at the bar and says he's thought about it and decided he doesn't need to see a shrink or any other doctor. As a matter of fact, he tells me he absolutely will not do so. I ask if he still has the urge. "Yes. I see that sausage grinder and I just get this rush and the need to put my penis inside!" Man, you're messed up, I tell him.  

A week passes and John has told me he still has the urge but is fighting it. He doesn't want to get hurt. The next day he takes the stool beside mine and is obviously in a lot of pain. I ask what happened. "Well, I couldn't resist any more. I just had to try it. So, I did." "You put your dick in the sausage grinder? I blurt out! "Yes." he whispers. "And I feel so guilty!" What about your dick? Are you, Ok? I ask. John says "I'm fine. I just have a lot of guilt." I asked him why. John says "I got fired for doing it." I asked why he felt guilty about getting fired. He said, "Well, because they fired the sausage grinder, too, and she didn't deserve it!"

Happy April everyone! Have a good month.