If I start dating a Civie, and she asks me about my sexual past.
Should I be honest? Or lie?
I like her, so I don't want to lie, but I know what happens when I tell the truth!
Civie girls get suspicious when you are too smooth in bed. I'm not saying I'm good.
Just that I know the positions. And one particular thing..
Whoremonger
I think you should think if this as a pool hustler. Start off doing "ok" then gradually ramp things up. When crunch time arrives you deliver big time.
D.
Ask yourself what you will think if you start dating a civvie chick who can suck a tennis ball all the way up a 50 foot garden hose. Will you automatically think she is a "hooker on holiday"??
Not really love, but lust.
I don't believe in romantic love. Parental love, yes, love of pets, yes, but romantic love, hell no. I mean even if a couple has been married for 30 years, they complain about each other constantly.
The only people who "believe" they are in love are newlyweds, all others are stuck, or so they think.
My favorite she can suck analogy "she can suck a mosquito through a plate glass window".
And do I complain about her? Yes, on occasion but I do about my sob as well at times, and my pets all the time. My chickens steal my food for God's sake. But does that mean I don't love them and I don't feel trapped, I feel blessed. Maybe you never knew romantic love but that doesn't mean it doesn't it isn't real. Like parental love it takes work though.
I guess that explains a lot about you.
Do you explain that you don't mean any offense to them when you want to broil them? Is the family OK with having KFC too? Or does it have to be the ones you love?
But the hens in my back yard aren't for eating. They became friends. They follow me around and even sit on my lap and let me pet them. You don't eat an animal you name. But to be fair I don't love the chickens but I do like them too much to eat.
You should have said, "I don't eat an animal I named," speaking for yourself. Many people have no problem eating an animal they named, including myself. I grew up on a farm. We ate what we raised. We were taught that animals were for food. We did not eat dogs or horses, and had dogs as pets, but all other animals were for consumption or sale. Cattle, pigs, rabbits, ducks, chickens, and geese. We named our animals. We bottle fed orphaned babies. We took care of them, fed them, played with some of them, raised them, slaughtered them, cooked them and ate them.
I don't eat animals I name. I have ate animals I rased. The chickens are pets, I let myself get attached. When I was a teen my dad got a turkey to raise for Thanksgiving dinner. I never named it, and never did more with it than nessary. Never got close and I ate it fine. It is different when you raise an animal with the intention of eating it and one you intend to plan on having as a pet. I could kill and eat a dog, but not one I befriended. There is a difference.
Lie to no one, for if it's someone that you care about you'll only ruin it with a lie. And if it's someone you don't care about, who the hell are they that you have to lie to them anyway?
--Willie Nelson's character to James Caan's character in the movie "The Thief"
James Caan's character is a thief, Willie Nelson's character is his Mentor, when James Caan's character asks a similar question "should I tell my new GF that I'm a thief"?
The quote speaks volumes to me anyway. I mean really, if you don't care about someone why would you give a fuck enough to lie to them.
IF, and that's a huge IF, I ever dated someone again and I really liked her, I'd tell her. And think about it this way, after the initial shock/surprise she should feel flattered that you trust her enough to tell her something that personal, given that you do "trust" her.
Tell the truth and there will be no "it" that info is none of her business. It is just like asking her personal facts about her past sex life. Do you really want to know about that gang bang she had in college? We all have a sexual past. So what? It use to crack me up how girls would say they loved anal sex while doing it, but then say they only did it once before later on. When she asks if you ever paid for sex before, you are better off asking how much she charges than giving a "yes or no" answer. I wonder where all those millions of girls who did freaky porn are today? Seriously, "Two Girls, One Cup" actors have be someplace-right?
-- Modified on 11/5/2015 9:27:47 PM
Oh hell yes I do, in detail. My kinda girl, the nastier, slutier the better.
But if I've said it once, I've said it 100 times, I'm bent.
It's probably on video somewhere BTW don't say you are "bent" around your UK friends. It means you are gay, but whatever
But if I've said it once, I've said it 100 times, I'm bent.
I know of a few my wife had not to long ago. Guess what her sexuallity is part of what I love about her. I think if you really love her and she you both of you accept the past of the other. And yes I am glad I know my wife's past and her mine. Had I not known I don't think we would still be with each other. Truth is best. Lies kill relationships.
Sadly, most women are of an old fashioned mindset, and they think less of guys who see hookers.
They instantly think of Charlie Sheen, and they think you're basically a loser.
There are a few exceptions to the rule, and some real open-minded people out there, don't get me wrong. But they're few and far between. Most will think you're a loser and that's just how this sort of thing usually plays out.
Disclaimer: I didn't make those rules, so please don't shoot the messenger.
If you're a comfortable hobbyist you're not most guys...don't settle for a most woman.
-- Modified on 11/5/2015 9:11:39 PM
but I will confess, I don't like to just blurt out my "number" when asked, even to a hooker who may have seen as many guys as I have women. There is something about being asked "how many women were there before me?" when the answer is a four digit number that you can only wildly guess at.
I don't lie about it, but I certainly don't volunteer it, and I am rather judicious with my answer when asked. Usually something in the order of "I never counted, but I was single and slept around for many years"
do you want a SO that accepts you completely, is open-minded, and without judgement. Let me answer that for you - Yes! If yes - you should be able to tell her anything. Personally, knowing what I know now... I don't know the point of an SO without that. But if that stuff is not as important to you...then what's the point in telling her.
How long does it take you to trust someone with a serious topic? At a breakup, can you still trust them? I do not...seen the ugly side of that and from now on, people are on a "need to know" basis.
How many people know about your "hobby" life, I mean friends, relatives or just anyone other then who you've seen. If you're in the closet and no ones knows, then LIE,LIE,LIE....And then put this life behind you, although I bet you'll be back....If you tell her, she'll always wonder where you're at and with who. Trust me, she doesn't need to know.
-- Modified on 11/5/2015 9:38:22 PM
If you don't tell her, then everything could be hunky-dory, but there will always be the little chance she learns somehow, and you'll have that hanging over your head, which can't be comfortable.
If you do tell her, her reactions could range from thinking that it very hot (cha-ching!) to running out the door screaming.
So, if all comes down to this age old question
All you're required to disclose is anything that may impact her health and your particular sexual proclivities. Until you know she's cool the world of sex work, leave it out. All the sex stuff can be explained away and pegged on some past, freaky "girlfriends."
If a new beau fessed up that he has had a bountiful sexual past, would it matter one way or the other to you if the gals he saw were civies or pros?
If so, which would be more venial, or is it the same
but not to be flippant or anything, guys ought to get asked the same question about the gals they see.
I doubt anyone will fess up, but I'm sure there's the old desire to have a virgin as your one and only.
Myself, I like a gal with some miles on her. You don't have to worry so much about putting the pedal to the metal, so to speak
Nothing like that about your past is relevant, at least I don't think so.
Are you looking for different answers each time, or do you just forget you already asked this?
For some reason? I always hook up with a girlfriend this time of year.
It's not me. I assure you.