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Re:Great point...
bobloveswomen 24 Reviews 7588 reads
posted

I think we (the guys) are missing the point.....you need to inform the original provider prior to using her name as a reference: 1. is it ok if i use you as a reference and 2. will you respond and be ok with it.  This is a common courtesy...just because i saw a lady, doesn't mean she is somehow responsible to vouch for me from that day on.  So guys before you offer someones name and phone number ask them and make sure it's ok...then a. they remember who you are and b. the are willing to have their number shared.

This is no different then if you were to put someone's name on a resume...you would ask them first and make sure they are going to give a good report.

DonnaNextDoor7646 reads

Hi again all ;)
I have a question for the gentlemen.
  Say you contact a provider you have not seen and give her your reference. She then calls or e-mails you and tells you that your reference did not respond to her e-mail or phone call.
What do you do?
I am asking because a very nice provider here in the valley is trying to come up with some ideas for screening that do not involve having to write or call the other providers for a reference. She has a few great ideas. Now I like to call or write for a reference myself, but sometimes do not get a response for days, or at all. If someone wants to see me right away I will miss the opportunity to meet them. I have been suggesting rs2k to most of the people I talk to but some do not want to pay the fee to get it started. To me one time giving that info is better than every time you call someone and wondering if they might call you later. The fee is lifetime and very small for peace of mind.The reason I am asking what a person might do is because I have had to tell a couple of people that I could not see them because of this. Luckily no one has gotten mad at me but I wondered what a gentleman would do in this case after being turned down due to this. I always return my calls and e-mails within a couple of hours max, especially when someone is asking for a reference. I understand the importance of getting a response quickly. Any thoughts are appreciated. I do agree it is time to get something going so things are done quickly and no one has to miss out on playtime!
Have a great week everyone!!!
Donna


-- Modified on 4/1/2004 8:55:09 PM

-- Modified on 4/1/2004 9:00:37 PM

-- Modified on 4/1/2004 9:03:31 PM

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TaylorLynn6701 reads

I agree and am willing to give most anyone a reference at any time.  My phone operators are always around and can immediately give references.  I agree that there needs to be some kind of system in place so clients don't have to give a description of themselves every time they want to see someone new and providers don't need to deal with trying to get ahold of other providers that may be too busy or out of town and can't verify a client.  What to do??  I've got some ideas that I throw out there in a few weeks.  I think that it will help this whole community be stronger and more secure than it is now.  If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.  Together, we can make this work!

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vamptat27552 reads

I don't know about anyone else but my first time was with a "incall" service (SWA). I've used them a few times as a reference. I am not sure if the providers called to check, but it got me in the door.

I'm sure when all the lovely ladies of Phoenix put there pretty heads together they can come up with all kinds of wonderfull ideas. I can't wait to see the new screening ideas.

Muahhhhhhhhh,
Vampy

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quixotic_jon7974 reads

$50 for…

http://www.roomservice2000.com/

or $60 for…

http://thesecretkeeper.com/

isn’t too much to pay for peace of mind.  And quick response!  

But that’s just me :-)

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Slowstart6603 reads

how secure are roomservice 2000 and the secretkeeper? Seems like a lot of info on a lot of guys all in one place.  Interesting find if LE got a hold of the information.  About a year ago there were two attempts at this problem, one I think was SPADES and the other something like "Keep Them Safe"  I remember a lot of talk about computer files and making it so no one could get into them.  Obviously neither of the ideas went anyhere.

I've never had to give a reference, but with a name like Slowstart I guess the gals aren't to worried.

-- Modified on 4/6/2004 2:19:12 AM

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quixotic_jon8280 reads

and is precisely why I chose not to go with RS2000.  I remember all too well that Charles Kelly was busted by having undercover agents advertising off his site.  A verdict in that case was never rendered, leaving open the possibility for it happening again.  RS200 advertises, and if they were get careless and be busted with all that information in their database?  The horror!!! lol


The Secret Keeper, on the other hand, doesn't advertise and has only two links.  One which doesn't work and the other that links to a lady who works in a brothel--perfectly legal.  In other words, there's very little possibility that they will get busted, and if they did the personal information probably wouldn't be useful to LE.  I ain't no lawyer but my understanding is that under current laws, escorting is legal!




-- Modified on 4/6/2004 3:55:19 PM

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ChrissyStone8640 reads

Slowstart, one of the benefits from posting on TER (and communicating via TER pm) is that you establish yourself as someone reliable and reputable.

BTW, I never ask for TER handles, but if a gentleman does offer his TER name (and he has reviewed a few ladies), it reduces the other information needed in screening.

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Arizona Angel9914 reads

Agreed... I am sorry I must say that anyone could read about us on TER but if you make reviews or are active on the boards.. it makes my life much easier when I am checking you out...

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Not_Fade_Away10707 reads

I think if my references do not check out, then I would go ahead with one of the verification services.  It's good for both of us.  Luckily I haven't had to go that avenue yet.  Knowing it's there and it's a very reliable service, then I would definately use it.

Take Care...


NFA

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DonnaNextDoor8348 reads

I agree. If they were not reliable they probably would not stay around. It is better than wondering what will happen to your personal info if you give it to a lot of different girls. Have agreat week and thank you all for your great answers!!
Donna

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quixotic_jon7977 reads


I don’t know exactly how long, but both RS200 and TSK seem to have been around for a while.  So they aren’t fly by night.  And the main reason I went with a verification service is because I didn’t want my personal info spread around into who knows who’s hands.  Gives me the weebie geebies just thinking about it.  

That said, NFA has a really good point and if a guy’s references are working for him, then there probably isn’t need for it.  

An added benefit to asking for references (and maybe even looking for a community-wide solution to the screening problem) is it gets escorts talking to one another so maybe everyone doesn’t feel so isolated?  A little solidarity can go a long way in a period that people are feeling threatened by LE.  

History as shown that outside threats can bring a community closer together and can actually make it stronger.  Witness the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor, and how it had the effect of uniting people and bringing our country out of the Great Depression.  

Great question :-)

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coyotefan28530 reads

I do not give references ever! It is a total lack of respect to the original provider. Sounds like kiss and tell!!!

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ChrissyStone9215 reads

I agree that references do impinge upon both the provider's and hobbyist's privacy. It's considerate of you that you don't want to "kiss and tell."

However, I don't know of any provider here in Phoenix who doesn't want to use them. They are (in my opinion) an indispensable tool to help prove you're not LE, as well as show you're a nice guy and not a budding axe murderer.

So, if you don't want to kiss and tell for privacy reasons, that's quite understandable. But the majority of providers here are willing to give up some privacy for the peace of mind we receive from references.

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quixotic_jon8174 reads

but if anyone believes the "juicy details" we write in reviews ain't a lot more than "kiss and tell" then I've got a bridge in Lake Havasu up for sale :-)

I agree. Without peace of mind for EVERYONE it's hard to have any fun.

-- Modified on 4/7/2004 12:23:01 AM

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MadisonAZ8221 reads

Donna, I too have been experiencing the same type of problem, lots of calls, and no references, or ladies that are unknown in the boards.  Times are tough right now and I do feel that as a community, us ladies should get together and figure out a way to create a system that would work for all.  I am one that is not too fond of the idea of using reference checking services.  Nothing against those running them, but looking at it from a hobbyists standpoint, I would not want my info all over the place out there.  I get my peace of mind from the person telling me about themself.  Not someone else whom I have never met saying that they are okay.  It makes me feel like I am at an agency again.  Knowing for myself that I have checked the person out is the best peace of mind I could ever get.  Any thoughts????
Madison

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quixotic_jon6882 reads

group sponsored by a gentleman or lady who is either retired or has moved away from the area.  I personally think that Donna would be perfect, but of course I can't speak for her.  The members would need to approved by at least two rep providers in order to be included. Everyone would have to be carefully screened because a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.  

I was once a member of such a group started by a top provider at a time after one of the two major boards went down and its new owners were felt to have questionable character.  I have to say it wasn't successful, and there would have to be a lot of effort put into another one to make it work.

That said, there's no system in the world that will beat a woman's intuition :-)

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just_a_loverboy9168 reads

From the other perspective, I agree that a sufficient enough introductory conversation is more likely to put me at ease than anything else.  Have you ever considered making the mandatory first encounter 2 hours and meeting in a neutral public place to get-to-know?  There is at least one provider in the Valley (under the radar) who takes this tact.

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bobloveswomen7589 reads

I think we (the guys) are missing the point.....you need to inform the original provider prior to using her name as a reference: 1. is it ok if i use you as a reference and 2. will you respond and be ok with it.  This is a common courtesy...just because i saw a lady, doesn't mean she is somehow responsible to vouch for me from that day on.  So guys before you offer someones name and phone number ask them and make sure it's ok...then a. they remember who you are and b. the are willing to have their number shared.

This is no different then if you were to put someone's name on a resume...you would ask them first and make sure they are going to give a good report.

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