I could just see this happening, and the look that must have been on your face.
Damn sure hope you shave your legs that day. I'm bent, so I have no right to judge others, but yeah that one is peculiar.I'm interested in hearing some of your stories!
One of the many stories I have. A cilient bringing his pet
I had booked someone from an agency to join me in my suite. When she came in I greeted her, took her coat and asked her to have a seat on the sofa while I open a bottle of wine. She started walking around the suite checking out every room and bathroom, before coming back to the sofa. She took a sip of wine and then said that whenever she meets someone she can size them up and figure out what the session will be like (e.g. this guy likes rough and fast, this guy likes using toys, this guy wants to just talk....etc.) She said she could not get a read on me. She said she was not used to coming to an outcall to a place like mine, and was a bit concerned I did not start the action right away. She said she was intimidated and then left.
She sounds like an interesting one!
The guy layed face down on the massage table in his boxer shorts, tank top, and socks up to his knees.
Didn't want me to use ANY massage oil or lotions.
He was a small guy, most of him was covered in fabric.
So I awckwardly "rubbed" him with his clothes on for 20 minutes, then he turned over, I asked him "you gonna take those off?"
He didn't, but wanted me to continue, with my hand ON THE OUTSIDE of the boxer shorts.
He finished all over his shorts.
Then put on his clothes and left
Went to a massage parlor in palm Springs. On the flip she asked if i wanted a BJ. Upon yes she wrapped junior in saran wrap. I laughing so hard I lost my wood.
That reminds me.
One of my first experiences in the hobby: I met a guy and he was VERY germaphobic. No kissing, requested a CBJ (no prob), but then it got weird. He put on rubber surgical-style gloves before he would touch me, and wore them while we had sex.
After finishing, he requested I go to the bathroom and potty (#1) while he watched. It was already really weird, so what's a little potty voyeurism?
He then asked me to stand in the shower while he went potty on me. That's where I drew the line.
Session over.
Like I said, this may have been my 3rd or 4th session ever. I continually learned to screen and market to better clients after that
Had a great repeat session with a provider who was drinking lots of red wine and apparently was over served even before she showed up. She finished a BBBJ and ran to the bathroom where she did a standing waterfall of purple puke all over the toilet and floor. I got her a spare toothbrush and bottle of cold water and she demanded that I kiss her to show I wasn't "upset" ... um nope.
Haven't seen her since
A beautiful young lady started advertising as new in the business and said she needed a review. Against my own rules, I contacted her. We conversed several times. We both agreed to meet. I arrived at her nice location. She opened the door and, though she was beautiful, she looked significantly younger than her pics. She assured me she was 18 and showed me her ID as proof. We were both cautious, but she was understandably very nervous. I asked her to sit and talk for a few minutes. She remained nervous and looked like a deer in the headlights. After about 15 minutes, I told her I didn't think it was a good idea that we continue with the evening. She was visibly disappointed. I said it wasn't her, it was me. I gave her some compliments (which she deserved), then told her I did not think she was ready and I did not want to give her a bad review. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I left a good donation for her time and split. She advertised a while longer and then disappeared. The whole experience was surreal.
She just had the newbie jitters!
You're right. I just tried to use some wisdom for both of us. The vibe wasn't right for me and she didn't need a bad review. She seemed like a lovely young lady. I wish her the best.
I had a gal over whom I've known for 26 years. We'd been platonic friends for the last 4-5 years because she got drunk back then and smashed up her car leaving my place causing me to come under LE scrutiny in my home town.
Well, we were out for dinner and decided what the hell, let's experiment and see if it can work again, so off to my home we went and had a pretty good session, but then I made a mistake of giving her too much cognac, and suddenly she turned into a paranoid schizophrenic and ran out of the house screaming in her jammies attracting the local police who later questioned me about what the hell was going on. She got taken to the hospital for observation. The cops let me go and after I heard from the hospital in the AM drove down to pick her up and take her home, for the last time I swear now.
I guess I drive the gals crazy
over 6 years. She was feuding with the neighbor... as soon as I show up, they may not have know the nature of our relationship but they clearly knew she had company... They proceeded to have a party on the side deck nearest. First thing they did was set up huge speakers facing her place & proceed with unrecognizeable "music" that was shaking the pictures on her walls. They were apparently pretty wasted (drugs & alcohol). My date proceeds to repeatedly trip the panic alarm of her car, to make MORE noise & piss them off.
It was not discreet & I really wished I'd stayed home...
A guy I used to see would hump my leg (to completion) then ask me if I came.
WHAT?!
Lol. Did you like or tell him the truth!?
I believe I told the truth: I didn't have an orgasm but had fun.
The next few times it happened, it was just normal, you know? Odd things become normal if they keep happening. 
I could just see this happening, and the look that must have been on your face.
Damn sure hope you shave your legs that day.
I'm bent, so I have no right to judge others, but yeah that one is peculiar.
The was a way long time ago.
She enjoyed it so much that she gave me a second round on the house.
Even now, I might cum on a gal's thighs or hips. It's more fun sometimes than the FS with a condom
But cum on thighs is more fun than having sex with a condom? I MUST respecfully disagree.
So he could find out that was not doggie style.
My first ever call, I got references for him and thought he was clear. When I met him we started talking and getting to know each other, and he says, "This is so much more fun than being shot at!" I asked him what he meant, and he said that he was a recently retired state trooper. It scared me senseless!
I was with this really hot provider. Simply gorgeous woman, apparently her husband/pimp didn't agree with her seeing me. Mid-stroke while I'm balls deep inside her we get a kick at the door. It was indeed him knocking and yelling for her to come open the door. She got up, apologized, and ran over to the door and let him in. So he walks in while I'm standing standing there butt ass naked with the condom still on and starts talking shit to me. It's kinda hard (no pun intended) to talk shit back to someone when you're standing there ass naked with nothing but socks and a condom on. I gathered my clothing, said what i had to say and exited the room. She did give me my donation back, but it was weird to say the least. The entire story is posted in the erotic highway under "strangest/best night ever."
Fortunately, the good encompasses over 95%...I made friends with over a dozen ladies during that time, and things are ongoing with most of them. :
The guy who texted to invite another escort couple over in the middle of our session. I saw him text someone soon after I got there, not unusual at all, a lot of guys need to conduct business while we're together. 20 minutes later there's a knock on the door... I was pretty nervous at first. What a terrifying surprise for someone in my line of work.
she said I have to excuse myself and take #2?! WTF...
At least she took another quick shower!
So I have\ no idea why you thought WTF...not like she can control her bowels...and she might have been holding it in and just couldn't any longer.
Yeah ... No Shit!
Guy books an overnight. Decides he needs to leave at 2am to visit a pregnant friend at a bar a few blocks away. Now mind you, he hasn't tried to seal the deal up to this point. Puzzling and strange. I was outta there quicker than you could say fuck that. Strange cat indeed. Very strange cat. Never heard from him again.
I get to her incall for a 7:30pm appointment. As we chat she makes mention of working a lot recently and drinking wine all afternoon, but seems totally together except for smudged lipstick. She tells me she likes me and not to mind the clock, I'm her last appointment of the day. "Jackpot!" I think to myself, as I had a free evening as well...
We get down and have a great first round. Then she rolls over and says that she just needs to close her eyes for a few minutes and that she can't wait to get back into it. Thirty seconds later she's snoring. LOUDLY. I hang around for 30 mins, make myself a drink, watch some tv, and then gently try to wake her. Half asleep, she asks for 30 more minutes to sleep. I opt to tuck her in, kiss her goodnight and head out.
You must be a really nice guy
I know a lot of the "straight and narrow" types here will say she was unprofessional, but I am sure I could overlook her passing out on me, as long as it didn't happen on a regular basis, and as long as she made sure my needs were met before passing out.
Considering how much "hobbying" I do in a bar setting, where doing a dozen shots of tequila before going upstairs is hardly an uncommon event, I must have a hundred stories like this. I think maybe 25% of my overnights are unplanned, we just end up falling asleep together unplanned after a long night of drinking and fucking. I think its kind of fun. sort of like picking up a chick in the club as a civvie, but without having to "get lucky" to do so.
So if she pukes ... what kind of guy does that make me? A bad bartender?
I had a client who wanted me to chew up cheddar cheese and spit it into a baggie. He wanted to sniff it. He would call me up and ask for "cheesey-spit". Go figure.
I can't believe I forgot this one. We were doing it in the CG position when I feel a steady, warm stream of liquid pouring all over my waist and crotch. I get up quickly to shower it off and she swears she was 'squirting', but bullshit I just got pee'd on! I thought she seemed drunk when she showed up, that should have been my warning!
Yes yes I know some people pay extra for that, but I am not one of them!
At the time we met, I didn't know she was with her family and husband.She wasn't a "pro" and she didn't really act like one. She was a very attractive women from Russian. It was 4am in Vegas, she was playing on one table and I was at an opposite table. Our eyes met, we smiled and I went to her and asked if she'd like to go to the bar and have a night cap. While at the bar she told me that she's with her family on vacation, my thinking was "Yeah sure, ok". We then go to my room where I can see while undressing her that she wasn't wearing anything underneath that was sexy, just very "motherly". But her body was to die for, a perfect 10. Well we had a great time, I gave her XX amount. She then tells me about her fantasy to do something like this, "To be bad" in her terms. Then off she went.On the next day while in line for lunch a family gets in line behide me. I turn around and there she is, with her husband, mother or mother inlaw and two kids. She gave me a broken smile and turned her head down..me, I just smile into the air...what a night.
While I was visiting a friend in SOHO he took my bra out of my neatly stacked clothes placed next to my hand bag near the bed. Then he watched me search every where and when (I assume) I started to get "warmer" in my search he blamed his dog and rushed me out of his apartment.
The next time he called me over, he'd admitted he loved to cross dress but continued with the "my dog stole your bra" story.
I loved that bra!!!! Grrrrr
Was with a client who was stocking me! He was a career hacker, so I was constantly on edge! Lol
TER ID: 277407
P411 ID: P189134
XOXO,
Ms. Leila Lovely