In the case I mentioned, it amounted to a (at most) 3 hour drive. Decent hotels are less than $100 a night. Not saying there isn't some expense but it's not like booking a plane and then spending 150 a night. At her rates a couple of clients would have created a no-loss situation. 3 or more and there's some profit.
I'm not torn up about it, I'm not crazy, and am actually quite accomodating to cancellations-- if I get some follow up contact. I won't name her here, I still have no idea if something legit happened--but since trying to contact here a few times went completely unanswered after initially being able to contact her--I will drop her from my list of those I want to see someday. A lot of people are discounting the effect on hobbyists here who might themselves be out money or more in such situations. For me it wasn't a major concern, but I did go through some schedule gyrations to make the meeting work, and that put off work i could have accomplished had I known even a few hours before that a meeting was not going to happen.I've long noticed something that seems to be picking up lately in my part of the world. Established providers posting ads (sometimes here on TER as well) that indicate they are visiting a smaller community than the one they typically provide in. But they appear to never actually show up--as ads by the same provider are placed a day or two later for service in their home city. It sure looks like they are trolling for business elsewhere with actual ads--then not actually visiting those locations for whatever reason.
This is not the phenomenon where people essentially steal pictures of legit providers and use them for ads in other locations--these are actual ads by the provider within them.
I recently had a chance to see a well reviewed and frequent TER provider I had exchanged e-mails with a few times in recent years who did this. There was an "I'm visiting" ad posted. I established initial e-mail contact. We talked about meeting but then she stopped responding and didn't respond to a few follow up e-mails. I then notice she posted an ad in her home city for the same time we had talked about meeting.
Have any of you "trolled" for business in this manner? How do you do it when you do? I can see attempting to see what interest there might be before laying out money and visiting an area makes sense--but If I think there ought to be some indication to hobbyists that that is occurring to avoid hurting your business. In my case, a provider I really thought was one of the good ones in many ways has been crossed right off my list for the future.
Yes, obviously, ladies do advertise & promote a planned visit and then later cancel. I'm sure ladies have cancelled travel plans for a variety of reasons, but the most obvious one would be a lack of response and/or pre-booked dates in that area.
It doesn't matter whether the planned destination is smaller or larger than her home area... if she doesn't get sufficient pre-bookings or interest to assure her she'll profit from the trip then it stands to reason that she will cancel.
The lady you mentioned clearly should have contacted you to cancel; simply stopping communication (assuming all your emails were polite, of course) was unprofessional and definitely bad form on her part.
Now, if you hadn't attempted to set an actual date and your emails were more along the lines of, "can't wait to see you, will firm up plans with you when you arrive" kind of thing.... Yeah, I'm sorry, but providers can get a ton of these from an area but then not one of them will actually follow through. So if she had others like that then I can see her being so exasperated that she wouldn't even bother updating you as to her change of plans. It still wasn't polite, I'm just saying I see her point of view. The professional and correct thing to do, of course, is to send a quick note advising anyone/everyone of the cancelled trip. 
Travelling really is a "play it by ear" kind of thing a lot of the time. So just because you see an ad, and then she never shows up, that does not mean she was only putting out feelers and didn't get enough bites.
She may have truly made plans: booked a hotel, flights, etc. Then: crickets. Crickets. Crickets.
So she cancelled.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Those "lack of response" cancellations happen a lot where I live-smaller market.
Not one lady has ever alerted me to her cancellation; and I always ask for meetings thru P-411.
That's just plan rude and bad for business
Posted for a providerl to tour a small market and received a lot of those "can't wait to see her emails" that Debbie mentioned. I even had p411 requests come through for a certain time and date, then when I replied to lock it in, I received from more than a few members, a response like "Oh I'm not sure about the exact date and time, I just wanted to get my p411 request in so you could screen me" or "I'll see her when she comes, I'll get back to you"
This happen in not 1 but 2, smaller markets that I advertised in and we ended up canceling the tour, without even notifying the guys that emailed and sent p411 requests. You know what happened ? Out of all the emails, only 2 followed up about scheduling.
You are seeing something that "frequently" happens with well reviewed and reputable providers, perhaps clients should step back and reevaluate how they are contacting cause one client that contacted me to schedule and I told him we cancelled the tour, he says "I told you I was going to schedule on Thursday sometimes between 11 and 5 pm." I can't lock that into an appointment. I also had a client from a smaller market bugging me for months to send someone to his area, I finally do then he's a NCNS.
We do post ads, to see the response we get. If you had an actual scheduled appointment that we locked in a date and time, I email back and let you know we cancelled, sometimes one or two gets missed a long the way.
If we only get a few appointment then we cancel or reschedule for a later date. If the market just doesn't like us, our look, rates, etc then we don't go. Either drive really far or move to a bigger city lol.
Yes. She (and hookers in general) should make it clear in the ad and initial correspondence that the trip is tentative and dependent on interest. That is more than fair considering the capital outlays required while touring can turn a trip into a loss.
And No. You need to chill on this. It's not personal and it's always been and always will be par for the course. It used to frost me bad as well but it hardly does at all anymore. Look at it from their perspective, it is less messy to just drop things. The headaches the few clients cause who won't take a polite no for an answer and/or lose their minds over things just aren't worth it. And that is not unreasonable.
So... you both are kinda at fault here. Her for not being 100% up front and you for taking it too personally.
Agreed, a provider should let it be known that it's just a testing of the market. But most won't because they want the client to lock in and commit to seeing them without them locking in to actually making the trip. So you can't say "don't take it personal" when making it personal is kinda why this whole business works, because if it wasn't on some level then why would we seek out girls for companionship when hands and lotion work just fine? My only problem with it is the girls who do not email back as a courtesy, it's not that hard and I think instead of having guys that are butthurt by it, their might actually be some guys who would appreciate it and not hold it against the girl.
And No. You need to chill on this. It's not personal and it's always been and always will be par for the course. It used to frost me bad as well but it hardly does at all anymore. Look at it from their perspective, it is less messy to just drop things. The headaches the few clients cause who won't take a polite no for an answer and/or lose their minds over things just aren't worth it. And that is not unreasonable.
So... you both are kinda at fault here. Her for not being 100% up front and you for taking it too personally.
I always let them know that I may be coming to an area a specific time and I will cancel my ad if I don't any prebookings (or a very low amount of prebookings).
First see how much business you will get if you go there, then cancel when its not enough to justify the time or cost. Perhaps there was just not enough demand...
It's lack of response. There's a lot involved in a trip. Hotel feels. Train/flight etc... A trip has to make sense money wise otherwise it's just a waste of our time.
This is not the phenomenon where people essentially steal pictures of legit providers and use them for ads in other locations--these are actual ads by the provider within them.
I recently had a chance to see a well reviewed and frequent TER provider I had exchanged e-mails with a few times in recent years who did this. There was an "I'm visiting" ad posted. I established initial e-mail contact. We talked about meeting but then she stopped responding and didn't respond to a few follow up e-mails. I then notice she posted an ad in her home city for the same time we had talked about meeting.
Have any of you "trolled" for business in this manner? How do you do it when you do? I can see attempting to see what interest there might be before laying out money and visiting an area makes sense--but If I think there ought to be some indication to hobbyists that that is occurring to avoid hurting your business. In my case, a provider I really thought was one of the good ones in many ways has been crossed right off my list for the future.
In the case I mentioned, it amounted to a (at most) 3 hour drive. Decent hotels are less than $100 a night. Not saying there isn't some expense but it's not like booking a plane and then spending 150 a night. At her rates a couple of clients would have created a no-loss situation. 3 or more and there's some profit.
I'm not torn up about it, I'm not crazy, and am actually quite accomodating to cancellations-- if I get some follow up contact. I won't name her here, I still have no idea if something legit happened--but since trying to contact here a few times went completely unanswered after initially being able to contact her--I will drop her from my list of those I want to see someday.
A lot of people are discounting the effect on hobbyists here who might themselves be out money or more in such situations. For me it wasn't a major concern, but I did go through some schedule gyrations to make the meeting work, and that put off work i could have accomplished had I known even a few hours before that a meeting was not going to happen.
ask for deposits to secure a trip. If I get a deposit, I definitely show up for the trip. I know many men balk at the idea of sending a deposit, but if it is a lady with a good reputation/presence here, it's extremely rare that she'll flake and hurt her business. Touring is hard, as other ladies have posted. Ladies have lives at home, too that they have to make arrangements for (pets, children, day jobs, community involvement, elderly relatives, whatever), aside from all the travel plans/reservations/expenses. It's a huge undertaking. If someone seriously wants to see me, they will send a deposit.
If you want to see a lady, and you have your heart set on her, arrange to have her fly to see you. That way your engagement doesn't depend on other punters to come through.
But I agree that the professional and courteous thing to do is cancel appropriately with each gent if it doesn't work out.
Providers have advertised they're coming to my area and a couple I know have even said they'd come specifically to see me (and this is in the midsized city closest to me and the really big city that i frequent too). I have shown genuine interest more than once and in one case she came and we had a great time.
In the other two or three instances after I indicated interest and indicated I wanted to set a time, I heard nothing. I followed up with each a day or two before their posted visit was to start to see what happened (was it something I said lol) and only then was I told that she had to cancel the trip 'but will be back soon.'
I won't contact them again based on the lack of communication - I'm really easy going but there are too many other women who are responsive and professional, for me to spend time on someone I can't count on. If this is a business I think it's only fair that we both treat it as such.
to cover her expenses outside her normal area. I prefer to stay with local tallent because of my uncertain schedule... at least she'll be "in town" when I get a day off.