Posted By: delmarfred
I've been in the hobby long enough to realize that almost all photos are old and the best ones a provider has ever taken.
Agreed on the latter; out of a photo session yielding anywhere from 75-150 photos I usually pick 5-10% that I'd use in ads and on my site.
Posted By: delmarfred
I am often surprised that other reviewers are not honest when a provider does not look at all like her photos.
If there are reviewers with solid review histories who are not mentioning this, then either the lady may have changed since their visit or you are perhaps a bit more particular than the average hobbyist/reviewer.
Posted By: delmarfred
I have been castigated for even mentioning in a review that a supposed super hard body was now showing a tummy.
Honestly, this sounds like nit-picking to me. If no one else is mentioning it, and other reviewers/posters are giving you shit for doing so, then please consider that your definition of "hard body" may be different from theirs. I know a woman who runs marathons several times a year, runs 10 miles a day and has very low body fat yet she still has what you would likely call a "tummy". Guess what? She's still a hard body! You can bounce a quarter off her ass, for heaven's sake.
A lot of people have an area of their bodies where no matter what they do, they cannot lose that little extra padding.
My point (and I do have one lol) is that all of these descriptive terms (thin, athletic, thick, skinny, curvy etc.) are subjective.
Posted By: delmarfred
Several years ago I was black listed for writing a seemingly positive review, but mentioning that the provider was now older and heavier than her photos.
Ok, now this is hitting close to home for me.... several months ago, someone wrote in a review that I was older than he expected. My photos at that time were less than a week old and completely untouched.
After contacting him, I learned that he'd somehow thought/hoped I was younger than stated for inexplicable reasons of his own. Yet that review is still sitting there, possibly leading others to believe that I'm older than I let on. Annoying, to say the least.
Other men I met in that same period of time expected me to be OLDER. We're talking clients who read the same ad & description with the exact same photos.... having different expectations and opinions.
Now, I only black-list someone for dangerous behavior and actions. But if someone writes a less than flattering review, I may pass than info on to any ladies requesting a reference. And I likely won't want to see him again.
Posted By: delmarfred
she says that I suggested a bad act in a text and she knows a good attorney (that seems unlikely to me).
Why does this seem unlikely? There are lots of lawyer hobbyists. Even really good lawyers who are hobbyists... and they see ladies at all price-points. At any given time, I have at least a few regular-clients who are attorneys and I am by no means a high-end provider. Again, you may need to change your thinking.
I'm going to skip ahead to your actual questions now......
Posted By: delmarfred
My questions are two:
- what is reasonable protocol when a provider has massively misrepresented themselves?
Here's the thing.... I'm not certain that your expectations are "reasonable" so I cannot advise on a "reasonable" protocol.
If you've PMd established reviewers who've seen these ladies recently and they were all happy with the lady's appearance..... then maybe it's you. Think about it: others have reviewed these ladies and not mentioned any glaring differences. It's happened to you repeatedly with different ladies and (I'm assuming here) reviews from different reviewers. So the only common denominator I'm seeing here is you. Not saying it's your fault or a bad thing, but you need to be honest with yourself about this.
It's uncommon, but there are some few hobbyists who are so picky that it's a rare woman indeed who can live up to what he is expecting.
I use RS2K to screen most often and there's a member in the Chicago area who has a long reputation for being extremely picky. He expects a woman skin-tone, hair color & shade, as well as length & style, nails, toenails, EVERYTHING to look exactly like her photos. He walked out on a woman once when the only noticeable difference between her pics and the real-life woman was that she had a tattoo on her ankle. He was disappointed and angry, feeling she had misrepresented herself.
He has contacted me a few times over the years and nowadays he owns the fact that he's very particular and picky. He usually sticks with ladies that post recent selfies, in addition to the pro pics. He asked me if I would take a selfie and post it. He also asks if there are any scars, tattoos, or anything at all that he cannot see in the photos.... if she's gained any weight, changed her hair, etc etc etc. And tells the lady right up-front that if she isn't exactly like her pics that he WILL walk out without paying any cancellation fee.
This may be the best strategy for you.
With the aforementioned client, because his RS2K info contains multiple notes regarding his walk-outs, and of how he likes to inspect a lady (looking back and forth between his phone where he has the lady's ad saved & the real-life woman in front of him!) there are many ladies who choose not to see him.
Posted By: delmarfred
- what do I do now to allow myself to pursue this hobby? New cell phone number? Is there a counter action to the blacklisting?
I know some people have successfully contested these; maybe someone here will help you.
Posted By: delmarfred
From past experience I am aware that providers look down on even the most subtle negative in a review.
Yes. Do you know why?
Because negatives can and often do, hurt our business. Our livelihood. Hell, I recently got a 9/9 review that basically called me overweight. My business immediately suffered.
Once another review was posted that did NOT say that, things picked back up for me.
So yes, we providers get upset about things that have a negative impact on our income. 
Posted By: delmarfred
I suspect that hate attacks like this cause hobbyists to not write honest reviews which then hurts those of us who count on those reviews and get burned.
Most hobbyists do not write reviews. Yes, I'm sure there are some reviewers who refrain from reviewing bad experiences for the reason you suggested.
However, I would like you to go back and check the reviews of this lady with whom you were so disappointed. Does she have very recent reviews from established reviewers?
If so, then you really need to seriously consider what I've already written: that your expectations and opinions are not the same as others' expectations and opinions. And that this is the real reason behind your long history of chronic disappointments.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
-- Modified on 9/27/2015 8:43:33 AM
By not walking out you rewarded this woman for bad behavior. She is the bad actor. You did not answer a blind ad. You answered her ad based on the photo(s) and she knew that was why. Despite that, she posted inaccurate photos. She also counted on you not having the courage to walk away.
It's fine if you want to do this. It is your money and time. But do not council others (especially newbies) to follow your example.
-- Modified on 9/27/2015 11:27:37 AM
I have had two experiences this year in which the provider was much older and much heavier (30 pounds or more) than stated in her profile or as she appeared in her photos. For the first one I didn't score her as high as others do, but did give her a positive review, as she really went out of her way to satisfy me. And she did.
With the second provider, I said in the review that she was older and heavier than her photos and profile indicate, and that the photos on her website are more than five years old. I mentioned this in a thread on this forum, and had a lot of people castigate me for not just walking out.
I should have walked. I had booked two hours with her, for $850. I wasted $850. I could even see it as she defrauded me out of $850.
I won't make the same mistake again. If the provider doesn't look like her photos, and I don't like it, I'm leaving. No money. Sorry.
I am sick and tired of having people try to take advantage of me on the internet. I deal with criminals all week long on the internet, as I do online retail sales. I don't need to pay con artists when I'm out for pleasure.
If I showed a photo of a nice new widget on my site, and then sent the customer one that was older than the one shown, and not in the same condition, the customer would demand a refund, and he would file a dispute with his credit card company (and win) if I refused a refund.
Why should this business be any different?
You are rewarding bad behavior! You should have turned and walked and not left a single penny.
thought the whole point of this site ... was so we hobbyists could share our experiences, good or bad, with various providers.
I mean TER is often called "the Yelp of the sex industry." And just like Yelp, there are a lot of really picky people, and those who just love the sound of their own negativity.
Truth be told, if everyone were completely honest about their reviews and weren't afraid to post the good and the bad ... then everything would even out in the end. Just like with Yelp, we would all have to start learning how to skim over some of the bad reviews because if we were put off by every single bad review ... then we would never visit ANYONE.
Just my .02
First of all you certainly are entitled to do things "your way" review wise. Since you are a newb my best suggestion is to listen and lean and then take away the new knowledge you have from being here and decide what works for you,
I get that you don't want to hurt a lady's feelings or make her angry but maybe you could make a compromise and let to guys who read reviews know you were disappointed with the difference in her pics to YOU but YMMV. That leaves it up to whoever reads you review to interpret it how ever they see fit. I know as a newb you don't want to piss off a lady because you are trying to establish some cred with the ladies right now.
All of the people criticizing you also know some providers can get nasty and back channeling happens on both sides of the fence so right now IMO you have to be careful. Try to strike a balance if possible.
And maybe hold off on advice right now until you are more seasoned.
Steph xoxo
It is better nowadays than the old days I hear. Where you call the back of a phone book and ask for a hot blonde, and they send someone with no teeth lol.
I'm assuming nowadays there is a lot less hit or miss with the review systems in place. There will always be loopholes, but one thing I suggest to you is to make a hobby twitter account and follow some girls you are hoping to see. A lot of ladies, not all, but a lot post selfies, or pics before they're edited.
Some people are against the whole twitter thing, but I find it a great way to post a scale picture, or a selfie just for the guy I just whakadoodledoo'd, or a thank you for a gift, or just a naked selfie for shits and giggles. Over time, you'll get a taste of what a lady really looks like... at least her body.
Again, not all, but many providers do this. Perhaps finding providers who do this if it is this important to you to not have a "miss".
-- Modified on 9/27/2015 3:16:42 PM
