TER General Board

Since we are all playing in the same pool, it really is our business
GaGambler 543 reads
posted

Not that it's our business to tell others how to play, but certainly to be aware of which sexual partners are likely to have the highest risk.

As I said, I am going mainly by personal experience and I also maintain that by and large condom use is dictated by the woman first and the man second. Men are pigs and a much higher percentage of men will get "carried away in the moment" and not even think about a condom until the woman mentions it.

So going by the thousands of hookers and hundreds of civvies I have been with over the last several decades, I can attest that overwhelmingly hookers are more insistent about condom use than are civvies.  

I hardly have a "liberal progressive brain" but I feel the exact opposite. I think of most hookers as being by necessity "cleaner" than the average woman, and this is from experience, over 99% of the hookers I hookers I have been with have insisted on a condom before having intercourse unless we were in a relationship. with the exception of the working girls I saw 35+ years ago in the pre aids era when NONE of us wore condoms, I don't know the exact numbers with civvies, but I would estimate close to 50% of the civvies I have been with allowed BB sex within the first two times having sex. Those numbers are so disparate that I have no choice but to conclude that the civvie chick you pick up at the bar is going to be higher risk than the average hooker.

As a woman you can only speak for your own behavior, my sample size in this regard is several thousand times larger than yours. Now if you would like to talk about civvie men vs hobbyists, I am all ears as your experience from that perspective obviously dwarfs mine.

Hi guys  
as a fairly new hobbyist and a married man  my biggest  
Fear is catching  chlamydia_gonorrhea from a provider and having to  
Explain to my wife how I got this unfortunate gift.  

I usually try to use a condom for Bbbj but sometime i get careless ,  
I love Daty as well.  So my purpose of this thread is to asses the risk  
Levels of these two bbbj and daty.  

Ihave studied this subject for many hours and everyone says that you get get  
chlamydia_gonorrhea Via oral sex but Over all risk is fairly small,  so i would like to hear from thise people  
Who did get them via oral sex and how you guys dealt with this issue with your spouse .  
Also let me know about any tips if any to avoid STD' as much as possible .  

I have found a descent article on std's for those who are interested
http://markmanson.net/std-guide

Thanks guy

If you are really interested in being safe, stay home with your wife.  There is no fully safe method, and if your that paranoid, this is not a hobby for you.

is deciding for yourself what your comfort level is.

We all must do this for ourselves in just about every aspect of our lives, and the hobby is no different

riorunner755 reads

Succinct and spot on Mr.Fisher!! Since it's the "newbie" board I'd add that for me, I feel much safer when it comes to std transmission by seeing mid to higher end pros than I do picking up civvie women in bars. The pros generally know and care more about health safety than some inebriated chick who'll go home with any guy who flexes his muscles for them.
                                                                Regards......RR

BlondeRoots741 reads

There's such a misconception that escorts are teeming with STDs when the women guys should be worried about are slutty civies.

I've never been so fcking safe and prudent and checked up regularly as I have been since becoming a provider.  And for the weird dude who posted originally, planned parenthood is a wonderful resource for young women to receive affordable cancer, contraceptive, and Full STD screening (including all the diseases you are worried about, AND the rest, AND they even swab our throat for any oral disease.) So just in case you're a republican, don't vote for any candidate that wants to defund planned parenthood bc lots of women depend on it for health reasons, which benefits you coincidentally.  

The End

Jeez. Whether or not we get paid, women are allowed to have sex as they so choose.  The assumptions about "slutty civillan girls" is just gross, as if anyone is in provider mode all the time.  I happen to operate as a civilian sometimes, as I'm sure anyone else who participates in this hobby does.  

Apparently there's a huge misconception that any woman who likes to fuck is teeming with STIs, and not just hookers.  Let's not put down others sexual appetites in order to make our own look better.

GaGambler653 reads

but not all of us thing that is such a bad thing, and I would be the last person to put down other peoples sexual appetites as I know very few people with an appetite any larger than mine.

I agree about the STD portion of your post, but I would also like to point out that I would wager that the odds would favor a pro that fucks a lot takes more precautions than a non pro who fucks a lot. Almost every pro plays safe, not all but the overwhelming majority, I can't really say the same about the civvie chicks I've seen. BBFS with a hooker is an anomaly, BBFS with a GF is the norm.

...but assuming that a lady who gets picked up at a bar is at more risk for STIs than anyone else just because she likes to fuck? Nah.  Being slutty is awesome, but BlondeRoots seemed to use it a pejorative.  

Again, you're assuming that a woman isn't concerned about her health because she wants to have sex with multiple partners, or so it seems.  Of course people fuck bareback in monogamous relationships.  Shit, some people in polyamorous relationships have one specific partner with which they're fluid bonded, and they practice safe sex with their other partners.  

If a woman is single, I'd hope that she'd be interested in risk-reduction, but risk-reduction is a two-way street. bottom line tho: her sexual health isn't my business and the only risk anyone can reduce is their own.  

Assuming that any woman is riddled with STIs, be she a hooker or not, is just straight up whorephobic (i know you like that word) and slut-shame-y.

This has been your Social Justice Warrior post of the day.  

edited for ridiculous typos.

-- Modified on 9/19/2015 1:56:14 PM

GaGambler699 reads

but being a man whore, my sample size is pretty large. I have been very lucky STD wise considering in all my years of fucking the worst I have ever caught was two cases of the crabs way back in the 80's.

That said, I can estimate the relative safety of the sex I have had with providers vs civvies and in my experience the sex I have had with hookers percentage wise has been much safer than with civvies. I would estimate that I have been offered BBFS byy no more than one or two percent of the hookers I have ever been with, and most of them have been after having protected sex many times. I can't say the percentage with civvies even comes close to that number. More like a lifetime average of 50-50 protected vs BB sex with non pros. That is a huge disparity IMO.

As I said, it's only one man's experience, but I would not be surprised if the experiences of others wasn't in line with mine.

as I said in my last post:

No one's sexual health is any of my business.  No one else's sexual health is anyone else's business.  If you want to reduce risk, then reduce risk for the only person who's health you should be caring about: your own.  

ALSO PLEASE NOTE:
The reason that most dudes insist on having protected sex with hookers isn't for the hooker's safety.  It's for their own. I mean hell; I had a client last week that wanted to give me DATY and DATO and then had the balls to text me and ask me if I was clean when he was the one who requested the service. And you know what? I felt the need to justify to him that I was.  How fucked up is that?  Yet he had zero issue with me putting my mouth on his uncovered cock. That's what I'm talking about, and I think its an experience that most women, hooker or civilian, can relate to.  

There's an unconscious ribbon that moves through society that has been beat into even the most liberal progressive brains.  Most people assume that hookers are dirty.  Most men assume that non-hooker women aren't, and therefore feel safer about not using protection with those said women.  

Of course hookers want to make sure that their health and well-being is intact, and most of them do so by getting tested regularly and using protection.  Hell, lots of regular ladies do that too. So really who are any of us to make assumptions about the sexual practices of civilian women at all? Not our business to do so.  All we can be concerned about is our own health, and all we can do is make sure we the precautions we need to so that our health does indeed remain intact.

GaGambler544 reads

Not that it's our business to tell others how to play, but certainly to be aware of which sexual partners are likely to have the highest risk.

As I said, I am going mainly by personal experience and I also maintain that by and large condom use is dictated by the woman first and the man second. Men are pigs and a much higher percentage of men will get "carried away in the moment" and not even think about a condom until the woman mentions it.

So going by the thousands of hookers and hundreds of civvies I have been with over the last several decades, I can attest that overwhelmingly hookers are more insistent about condom use than are civvies.  

I hardly have a "liberal progressive brain" but I feel the exact opposite. I think of most hookers as being by necessity "cleaner" than the average woman, and this is from experience, over 99% of the hookers I hookers I have been with have insisted on a condom before having intercourse unless we were in a relationship. with the exception of the working girls I saw 35+ years ago in the pre aids era when NONE of us wore condoms, I don't know the exact numbers with civvies, but I would estimate close to 50% of the civvies I have been with allowed BB sex within the first two times having sex. Those numbers are so disparate that I have no choice but to conclude that the civvie chick you pick up at the bar is going to be higher risk than the average hooker.

As a woman you can only speak for your own behavior, my sample size in this regard is several thousand times larger than yours. Now if you would like to talk about civvie men vs hobbyists, I am all ears as your experience from that perspective obviously dwarfs mine.

GaGambler660 reads

but woman on woman sex is not relevant to our conversation about safe sex.  

and I don't blame you for fucking women, I love fucking women, I suppose I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body. I have also been given the highest complement a man can be given by a woman "You eat pussy like a lesbian" lol

It's funny there are basically three sides to this argument  

Hookers are dirtier than civvies

There is no difference

Hookers are cleaner than civvies.

Feel free to exchange the word safe or careful for clean, probably a better choice of words.  

The general public believes in the first opinion, you believe in the second, I believe in the third. No real blggie between our views I suppose.

BlondeRoots563 reads

Civies who fall in love, feel it's closer and more romantic to skip the condom.  But the problem is, when you're a 18 19 20 21 22 23... year old, slutty civie, you're in love with a different guy every month.  Sometimes you're in love with 3 guys at once:-)  

Dumb dumb civie girls.

...let alone guess at what their sexual health practices are?

BlondeRoots501 reads

I should've spoken for myself and said, "When I was a slutty civie (and I was), I was young, dumb, and sometimes (ok often:)) sexually irresponsible.  

Ironically, now that I'm a provider,  I am far SAFER and PRUDENT about using protection and getting tested regularly, than I was before entering the business."

-- Modified on 9/19/2015 1:32:10 PM

and I was tested every 6 months. I wasn't normally slutty - I think I had three partners by the age of 30, all LTR's, and one I was going to marry - that one was obviously not with a condom, and after that guy who should bathe in bleach, I got tested as many times as my doctor would allow for over a year lol.

Then I said "fuck this shit" and started having a lot of sex. I have no idea how many, but I do remember being shocked when any guy would consider even for a moment not using a condom.

I was apparently the odd ball, but after such a sort-of celibate 30 years, I was scared to death of getting an STD.

Now, outside of P4P I would have to say my sample isn't the same as in P4P, as I've been P4Ping longer than any sex life I've had consecutively lol. (besides the 3 LTR's). Based on my samples, guys in P4P do seem way more conscious of condoms. Outside of P4P, sample is probably the exact opposite.

1 in 50 (meaning probably one date the entire time I had sex IRL) pulled out a condom outside of P4P first time having sex, knowing nothing about me. (I was a slut and brought my own condoms because I wanted to make sure it happened if we ended up hooking up haha). Many of the guys upon my pulling out the condoms had a look on their face that clearly asked, "What - is - that?"

Here, I always have condoms and they're plain as day going to be used, and I have probably had a handful that were babies about it. But we used it, if the appointment took place.

But both in and out of P4P I was pretty adamant about getting checked out due to an intense fear of STD's. My sex ed class in middle school was brutal. I keep remembering the cauliflower picture on the projector, and the lady who came in and talked to us about her journey with AIDS. *growing up in the 80's*

-- Modified on 9/20/2015 8:32:30 PM

It is fucking 2015 and we are still shaming women for having a healthy sexual appetite and wanting different partners?  

Only in puritan USA....seriously pathetic.

And on the STI front...if she has one, she most likely got it from a guy.

I agree , I try to stick to mid level working girls  
and I do not look for romance at bars .

Then gave my wife an oral case. The risk is real, but it is much less likely to spread orally than vaginally. Even covered there some small risk as condoms are only like 99% effective. You must decide your own risk tolerance. This isn't a low risk hobby.

If you don't mind me asking  
Have you been with a lot , a lot  of women before you caught it ?

See I'm kind of new in this hobby  and knock on wood so far did not get anything  
but the concern is there

I then gave it to my wife in her mouth. That is the thing about odds. They are random. The odds of catch it from oral sex is very long, and giving it not quite as long but not common ether. Even if the odds are one in a million it can happen the first time or you can do it a hundred million times and it not happen. I got really unlucky.

Posted By: scoed
I then gave it to my wife in her mouth. That is the thing about odds. They are random. The odds of catch it from oral sex is very long, and giving it not quite as long but not common ether. Even if the odds are one in a million it can happen the first time or you can do it a hundred million times and it not happen. I got really unlucky.
Even with condoms there is some possibility you could have gotten it from CFS rather than oral. It is really hard to get it the way you got it and give it orally. Condoms are not 100% effective. If the OP wants a guarantee, he might consider celibacy.

Both know ladies who had it that I had contact with had oral cases their vaginas was clean. I haven't ever had a condom break. The other two ladies between my last clean test was FBSM ladies who gave HJ and CBJs only. Yes I am 99.999% sure I got it orally and given the ladies both had it only in their throat the person I spread it to (most likely my wife) caught it orally.  

But your right there is no such thing as safe sex, just safer sex. In the hobby there are so many things that could go wrong and not just catching something, if he wants to guarantees he should avoid the hobby and take up twiddling thumbs or something.

Yes I know the odds are long, but not as long as a condom failure with no breakage or slide off. Especially give I had known exposure that way. Here is a fun quote:

"It is sometimes found in swabs taken from the throat, and it is thought that it can be transmitted by oral sex, particularly fellatio. In May 2011, researchers from University College London revealed that 4 per cent of London sex workers had chlamydia in their throats. This finding is of considerable importance, especially as many men go to prostitutes specifically because they want to be fellated.
Also doctors at Guy's and St Thomas' Hospitals found that about 1 per cent of their gay male patients were carrying chlamydia in the throat."

It isn't that rare. Common no, but not that rare ether. People need to test orally for it and other STDs and that requires swabs. If your doing oral and not getting tested orally for STDs your aren't getting adequately tested. Crap does spread that way, especially for the one preforming the act.

 
-- Modified on 9/20/2015 4:24:48 AM

-- Modified on 9/20/2015 4:29:10 AM

I don't give BJ's, SO, do I still have to get the throat swab?  

STD testing has become better over the years, back in my Army days the medics would run a long Q tip up your Johnson. We called it the "Bore Punch" probably because it was similar to cleaning a rifle bore (barrel) and probably because some guys weren't the sharpest at grasping medical terms so the medics put it in terms that could be understood ... "you want to put that, up where?"

-- Modified on 9/20/2015 11:19:13 AM

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