Go back and look at this board last summer compared to the last few months and compare the number of threads, the length of the threads, and the number of unique posters.
As Bic says, if members are so thin-skinned that they take everything as an insult when most of the time posters are just making a joke, then they are taking themselves way too seriously and should find a more gentle forum. Controversy sells, so sanitizing this board to eliminate that is a huge mistake. Now lets all hold hands and sing together.
I just received a PM from a hobbyist who was active on this board but stopped posting because he was tired of all the insults and negativity. I wrote back and said that is exactly why we, all of us that see this board for what it should be, need him to resume posting. So ...
I challenge all of you to do the following; ignore users that write insulting and rude remarks on this board. I'm not saying don't read them. I'm saying don't reply or refer to them! If we do that they will either change their tune or go away. We CAN make this board meaningful again.
Hobby on!
to say anything insulting unless I think they really deserve it. Of course, many times, the insults are humorous, and are only regarded as insults because the recipient has no sense of humor and takes himself way too seriously.
One word of caution: If you make this board into a bunch of hand-holding Kumbaya, it will be like it was a few months ago; deserted and circling the drain. In order to stay lively, boards like this need all types of posts, including the helpful (the majority of mine fall into this category, but only slightly), the sarcastic, the humorous (including insults for laughs, cheap shots, etc.), and the CONTROVERSIAL. That is the way you get maximum participation from the members. Different folks respond to different strokes. You are going to lose readers of you turn it into a Disney cartoon. Just my opinion from watching the ups and downs of these boards.
-- Modified on 1/17/2016 5:07:42 PM
You're right! We don't want a disney cartoon, though some are funny! No, what we want is an exchange of information and ideas. I don't, however, see the need to insult users here. I have no problem when it's done in fun. The problem is that "tone" and "facial expression" cannot be conveyed here so a person might interpret and insult when none was intended.
CDL, I received a PM from a fairly regular poster today. He told me he has stopped posting due to some of your insulting comments. His words, not mine. This person has a history of relevant questions, answers, and good advice to others. I hope he will reconsider. But, having fun as you said by insulting those that "deserve it" only serves to alienate those that might make some meaningful contributions. If we're not careful, this board will become nothing more than a vent and rant board from those with nothing better to do because they are living vicariously from those of us that post and write reviews because they are too cowardly to actually make contact with a provider.
Again, I encourage all users to not reply to, or make reference to any mean, rude, or insulting posts.
-- Modified on 1/18/2016 1:17:16 PM
-- Modified on 1/18/2016 1:54:22 PM
I received a PM from another hobbyists. We discussed your board posts. We both agreed you should just let the board happen. We think your recent posts are cute, but they don't spawn any real conversation. It's the controversial posts that tend to provide the most info and insight into the discussed provider or topic. Also, we agreed that if you're feeling insulted by a post on this site, maybe you should consider a gentler website.
I challenge all of you to do the following; ignore users that write insulting and rude remarks on this board. I'm not saying don't read them. I'm saying don't reply or refer to them! If we do that they will either change their tune or go away. We CAN make this board meaningful again.
Hobby on!
Just let the board happen? That's why it's in such terrible shape! And, I am all for controversial posts. Bring em on! But insulting and making fun of other posters is counter productive to the site. Unless it is clearly done in jest and not meant to hurt someone.
Me feeling insulted? That's not why I started this. I started this because I noticed an increase in trashy insulting posts, usually by the same handful of bullies coupled with a decline in the number of posts overall. Especially those seeking or wanting to exchange information.
By the way, the fact we use this board and engage in the hobby means we are not boy scouts. Some people here are probably mean low life types. Others are average people getting something they can't elsewhere. Personally, I take that into account because we are all different with a wide range of education and I have a wide range of tolerance. I just want to see and encourage more participation. So, again, I say ignore and don't reply to the hurtful posts. Then the bullies will go away.
I agree, this site is a lot better when the boards are more active. However, I think a bigger problem lies in the inability for hobbyists to openly communicate without the providers reading everything. Don't get me wrong, I value their input. However, personally, I will always be hesitant to post the truth when I know the provider will read it.
I'm aware of the Reviewers Only and Providers Only boards, as well as private messages, but I don't care about what guys in Cleveland have to say and PMs are too restrictive. I want to know what Joe Hobbyist has to say about Jane Provider in San Diego. Unfortunately, very few people are willing to give their honest opinion via the board because they almost always get labeled as a "bully," if not blacklisted.
An amazing review site exists for the scene in Tijuana. On this site, guys are able to post the most honest, direct reviews because they know the girls won't be reading it. The result is a much better tool for everybody.
You make some very valid points and I think even the providers would agree. They are in business and depend on us for income and, therefore, may not be willing to post their opinions. BUT, the truth and s the truth and the ladies have to compete for our business. If we tell the truth then the ladies who are sub par will find their business slacking and if they read posts and reviews will learn they have to improve their level of service.
Like all the guys here, I have my favorites. I know who I'm going to see again and who I won't. Yes, you're right, I'm going to be more careful writing something about a favorite but, so what? That doesn't affect anyone. And about the woman I know about and won't see again? I'll be honest and tell the truth but I will write it in a factual way without using words that will offend. As an example - "I kissed my way down toward her pussy and it smelled like something had crawled inside and died. What a skank! I'll never repeat!" Vs. "I kissed my way down toward her pussy and noticed an odor so I moved back up and sucked on her nips. Maybe she had a bad day but I probably won't repeat." She won't like either version but the second one is informative and is one she probably wont hate me for. It's also more credible.
Last point. I want the providers to read what I write. I want them to know a little about me just like I want to get to know them some, too.
Go back and look at this board last summer compared to the last few months and compare the number of threads, the length of the threads, and the number of unique posters.
As Bic says, if members are so thin-skinned that they take everything as an insult when most of the time posters are just making a joke, then they are taking themselves way too seriously and should find a more gentle forum. Controversy sells, so sanitizing this board to eliminate that is a huge mistake.
Now lets all hold hands and sing together.
Last summer there were more and longer threads covering a wider range of topics by a larger number of posters. So what changed? What changed is that now a small number of posters that disagree with someone's point of view call that person out by calling them names and just generally being very disrespectful. Nobody likes that. The result is that person may stop posting but, also, some readers might not post because they don't want their opinions trashed. Another sad point is these bullies often have some very valid points that are lost by the lack of credibility due to the disrespect.
I'm not trying to sanitize the board. Controversy is good and the very nature of this forum make it ripe for it. ALL I've been promoting here is respect. Hell, I love a good joke. I even like bad ones. I have a rep for having a sick sence of humor. But, it's not a joke unless the recipient knows it's a joke.
into the deep end of the pool if you don't know how to swim. Anybody who can't tell, or take, a joke should re-examine if this a good place for them to express themselves. Rather than appoint yourself lifeguard, drain the pool, and make the whole thing shallow, why not let each swimmer decide for themselves if they can sink or swim in these waters.
CDL, I have no problem with that. Sink or swim is good. I've learned a lot of valuable lessons that way. No need to beat someone up, though because you think their post is stupid. And you've had some really good posts lately. Thanks for that.
But we're simply running in circles. Discussions about discussions on a discussion board.
I'm not saying I create the most insightful discussions, but if it's a conversation he wants (presumably about something other than creating discussions), he should start a topic that people will respond to.
Ok, one more time...discussions.
talking about bic54, incallman or me. We have all been generating significant responses. My last OP generated over 1300 "reads" and counting in one week.