Yes, but by then the damage has been done.
In response of Incallman's call (no pun intended) on livening up this local board with interesting questions and activities, I'll step up. I split my time between SD (home) and SF (work), so I may also post a similar thread on the SF local board.
A bit of reflection - I've been a member of TER since 2001. Been in/ out of the hobby for 15+ years due to various reasons (eg, in civie relationships when I don't hobby, nature of my work overseas, ups and downs of several entrepreneurial ventures affecting personal finances).
What are your thoughts on how our hobby has changed over the years? Here are my observations:
Evolution #1. I've been reading a few of the original SD posts from 2000 on page 627. Back then, we were still exploring this thing called the World Wide Web. We were also discovering how to use TER to leverage information about our hobby (for both ladies and hobbyists). Posts were informative and helpful to both gals and guys. This has evolved to posts these days which center on attacking the OP.
What has caused this toxicity? Click on page 627 below and read backwards.
Evolution #2. Back in 2001, my interests were purely transactional. These days, my interest is all about the connection. Maybe this evolution is a factor of my vintage (aka, age) and wisdom gained from civie relationships. Pure transactions just don't do it for me anymore.
Since I'm not in a civie relationship or have a SO at the moment, I see my incredible ATF every other week. And I'm totally happier than I've ever been! I joke with her that it took me 15 years to find my ATF. The right ATF. The right ATF with the right connection. And I'm all in!
Ladies and guys - have you noticed your hobby interests changing over time? Even my ex-civie has said "you freaky Libra" :
big enough, you will still get great connections. Cynical? Nope. Just keeping it real.
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When TER was just getting going, the average age of a guy on here was probably younger. I was sure younger anyhow. I'm saying this only because younger guys will often be quicker to try something new like TER was when the movement to the Internet started. I still remember which provider and when told me about TER for the first time in 2000. So the combination of an average younger age plus the information discussed back in 2000 being newer to a higher number may have kept the posts more information oriented.
I'm not so sure about the connection aspect being that age related, maybe. Oh the other hand, prior to TER it was harder. So when a guy found one or two they would be more inclined to stick with them than try others. So that could have helped keep it more transactional. Back then, once I met a couple of legit ladies, often about the only way I would meet others were through the ones I already knew.
For me in the 1990s my playground was mostly the Washington DC area. I still would gravitate toward ones I liked more personally, though service was also important. It was just harder then. My ATF for many, many, years I met in the 1990s through another provider. At the time she was a 24 year old college student at one of the DC area universities. I slowly shifted toward her from the one who introduced us, not only because of her model looks and level of horny, but also because we both seemed to click more and she liked seeing me more. This showed my her spending more time than necessary or expected plus being easy to talk with.
Same thing with another provider in that area that I met through a different one. Her and I became rather good friends also. So sure there was still the transactional side, but this one in particular would also spend additional hours with me at no charge because we were both doing something we wanted to and had fun.
So for me, I would say I have always tended to lean toward someone who had a personality that seemed to click with mine. It was just not as easy then. Sure it's not the only factor, but for me to repeat with someone that is more a factor that comes into play. So I think the change has been driven more by it being easier to get to know more quality ladies now and also my how the basic information is more widely known now. So the focus on boards may shift to other things like connection for a variety of reasons
perhaps i'm more mature, know what i want and am able to communicate it better, or i am more open to things now.
but it certainly seems to me that when i started hobbying in 2007, there were fewer providers (that i saw) that were after the genuine human connection above and beyond the envelope than i am meeting now.
sure, now it's still a transactional enterprise. and i know that and respect it, in fact that's what makes it great. we know what we're getting and what we are giving.
but i wonder if the new generation of providers are more into making unique individual connections with their partners. it seems to me that the ladies i am meeting now are kinder, sweeter and more aware of the social/emotional impact the hobby has on both parties; and are more willing to discuss it.
the girls i met in 2007 had no trouble letting me know it was all about the envelope. the girls now seem more like they truly enjoy the experience of being with me. or else they are much better actresses and the last 20 or so of them should actually be up for academy awards. it's possible.
or maybe i just lucked out these past few months, and found the greatest girls in the hobby!
Maybe as you aged, your performance improved and your perspective about the providers did too to the point they began appreciating you more.
possibly, i am a better more attentive lover, i know that. but it seems as if there are more young ladies whose mission statements include words along the line of "seeking genuine connections."
whatever, i'm enjoying myself more now.
another thing that occurs to me is that i'm better at research and screening, and finding what i like before i even begin communications.
And that, PJ, is what this site is all about!
I agree with PJ. With maturity I, too, have become more open to new things and Always Lookin' for new experiences. I honestly don't have any more fantasies, since I've played them all out.
Not bragging here, but group play, FMF threesomes, receiving end of voyeurism, light S&M have become my routine experiences. And knowing that allows me to communicate it upfront, so that both the ladies and I can mutually enjoy them. Richness, as my ATF says. And that depends on trust and connection, and not the size of the envelope.
Like I said, my ex-GF used to say "you freaky Libra."
Ladies - what do ya' think? What has changed about the hobby for you
I just went back and read several pages of the early, first posts on this board. Alwayslookin is right. The posts were informative and mostly enjoyable. Probably more so back then. The site also had an active moderator who wasn't shy about stepping in and even answering questions.
Does this board have a moderator? If not, why not? If so, why are you not more active?
Back in 2011, the most active boards had moderators. I know the FL board was fun and active because of their moderator. He kept everyone in line. Then TER eliminated regional mods. I've only seen TER Admin close out a thread when it's really, really rough.
Yes, but by then the damage has been done.
Someone is absolutely moderating this board. Trust me.