First of all, my name is not John.

The things you state are Graduate of Hobbying level.  Another one of those guidelines is that it's OK to fall in love with providers you know and see...just keep it within bounds.  

Not drinking Bourbon, just the usual Red.  Plus a bit of Miley's favorite!  

-- Modified on 9/4/2015 3:02:43 AM

these principles are followed the vast majority of the time.  

But this is life and as we all know, in life shit happens.

I promise to see her, if it's convenient for me. If it's been a year, that's the way it played out, so don't get your feelings hurt.  

Yes, the envelope is always correct, but I haven't always left happy. That leads us to respect.  

Respect is hard to come by here. I try to be respectful, but I've been treated so disrespectfully by some ladies, I've become jaded. Like they say, no shows, no calls, upsells, double bookings, fake pics, rushing you is just part of the territory so deal. In fact, as the rates are increasing, so too the disrespect.  

Yes, always on time, and I always leave on time too. Unless I'm invited to do something otc, which does happen from time to time. Funny how the otc ladies become much more convenient than the less respectful ones. And yes, she has to be on time too, or she'll lose several hundred dollars.

I can't promise not to fall in love. In fact, I love all the respectful ladies so much for giving me the chance to live the life of a rock star. Wow, any fantasy come true. And if I'm not in love, why do I keep dreaming about this one lady (two hours ago)? No, I might fall in love, but I do promise not to ask their hand in marriage. But some of them wanted to marry me, so where's the reciprocity, and respect?  

Of course, no one wants to be outed in public. I walked right by my dream atf in a public line one year, and said nothing.  

You know, we're dealing with a lot of different issues in this hobby. There's a steep learning curve, and it keeps changing. The one axiom that's true is that it's never simple. Okay, not gonna f*ck myself, but another atf dream would be nice

Yeah, but it also is natural to want to combine physical and emotional intimacy, so people have to work through that. And talking about it is part of working through it. Unfortunately, a lot of guys never actually work through it - they just stumble around, complaining that their ATF is dishonest and cruel, and eventually wander away, sad and hurt, never actually understanding that:

- They have no idea what they really want
- They tried to take one perfectly good thing that they pursued precisely because it felt safe and easy and tried to change it into something else that it never was, and that they probably do not really want anyway
- If they do really want a lover, they should look for that somewhere they might be able to find it.

Then you get the misogynistic, self-justification crap. "I am not a prick. I just act this way because all women lie and manipulate..."

Yes, it is boring and repetitive, but the guys who need to read and understand your post are never going to be able to do that because they can't take a step back and see who they are, what they are doing, to understand what they want and why. Not that this is specific to the guys, or to people in this world. Most people wander around with little idea where they are going, what they want, and then they are shocked by where they end up. Get a clue, know what you are doing, figure out what you want, and what you have to do to get it. Then go for it. But please, please, please, do not go find an escort, have a great time with her, and like her so much that you decide you have to turn her into your lover. Sure, it might work, and pigs might fly, too. But if you really want a lover (ask yourself that, too - do you really want a lover, the commitment, the involvement, all that it entails?), this is a very bad place to find one.

zig

My "thoughts," if we can call them that, are that a fuck without at least some fond feeling for your partner is no more fun than a dry shave. And as far as principles go... Principles!? Principles??!! We don't need no fuckin' principles!  

Just do the sensible thing for each moment as you go along and stop trying to figure everything out in advance. And for Christssake you'll never be happy if you bottle up every emotion that comes along. But, for that matter, who said we were supposed to be happy? Is that a rule now? Be happy or the happiness cops will get ya!?  

The main thing is, WHATEVER you do, Russ, DON'T run out of bourbon!

1. People talking about falling in love within the hobby OR  
2. People COMPLAINING about people postin about falling in love within the hobby?

I have operated under the assumption that the people who live within the TER/hobbyist community are the type who have made a decision to reject the boundaries society attempts to set FOR us in favor of seeking a life defined by the boundaries we set for ourselves.  That implies a person with a certain laissez-faire attitude toward others.  

Sometimes, however, it seems as though members of the TER/hobby community take on the role of defining the boundaries FOR other TER/hobby members.  THIS MAKES NO SENSE TO ME!

If you feel led to comment on a certain post, then give your opinion or describe your own experience.  That is of great value to the community and it may save someone from a lot of grief.  But I don't see the value of moralizing or criticizing.  It discourages the free exchange of information and, even worse, participation in discussion. And, worst of all, ITS BORING

I'm way too spacey to notice a guy's face in public and actually too shy to go say hi. I've done that once or twice IRL and holy shit I still cringe. *awkward*

Most of the time I'm in a daze thinking about my own shit. Not looking around for people I may know lol! So naturally it isn't going to happen.

The guarantee is accurate online representation and reviews. (Being on time is a no brainer but shit happens there too lol.) The happiness is something you have to find.

As far as making a guy happy, I can't promise that. Some guys are afraid to communicate their wants and needs, (or they take something that keeps them from cumming - always feel bad about that) but part of the package that comes with the strength of being sweet is also someone who is chill and not worried about the kinks. So if a guy really wants something and I'm just not getting it... It's probably because I'm - not getting it lol.

Like a vampire. You must invite me in first, then I'll devour you.  

Muahahahaha

-- Modified on 9/4/2015 9:11:49 AM

How about this be a man and find a group of ladies to date.

So these posts on this subject this past week are crazy.
Just be upfront with what you want and find ladies that satisfy your needs.  
I don't care if you are dating or married outside of this hobby either.

It's really not that hard and it does not have to be with a provider only.  
I see a lot of men on here put themselves into a box.
The real question is why do that to yourself?
We are already in this hobby to date or fuck as many woman as possible.

Some providers on here are really nice but it's a business for them too.  
Most woman inside or outside the hobby require a man with some money.
Then expect money to play some type of roll in any relationship you have in you life.  
You just have to be strong enough to stand by what you want and go get it.
Just be a man and find the ladies, who can give you what you need in life!  

Wow this is a great post!

I think you are like GaG and another guy I know who are prone to not making spot on posts unless they've been drinking!

I really love your reasoning when you are not sober, LOL!

Steph xoxo

It would not be my choice to ignore a provider I saw on the street.  That seems horrible rude.  I would want to say hi, give her a heartfelt hug and ask how she's doing.  If I was with someone, I would introduce her as my masseuse.  What am I missing?  Is this what providers want?