Everyone thinks its just hire a lawyer, sign a document and voila, you're set. WRONG.
HIRE TWO LAWYERS. 1 for the wife, 1 for the hubby. Sign a document with the two lawyers witnessing the event! Personally, I'm going for the traditional wife. I don't care where I find her as long as she comes from a huge loving family and she lives for the family. Preferably religious as religion keeps the family together. The wife will take care of things at home and I will bring home the bread. A large family saves you a lot in tax if you are in a high income bracket and when they get older you can turn them into business partners which means potentially generations and generations of your spawn contributing a lot to the world. Good luck finding such a gal here haha.They're common today amongst even a younger crowd getting married. But if you're an older guy that has some substantial wealth it certainly seems that would be a must
I like me and I like my life as is too much for taking on Bull Shit.
Taking on what BS?
I think he believes it impossible to find a good partner. Prenups are fine if they are fair
If you were going to get involved with someone and you have 500k that you've worked hard to amass, why wouldn't you want the future spouse to agree that in a divorce that 500k is yours?
That is assuming that during the marriage it wasn't put into play and now that a divorce is happening all that is left is the 500k that was yours to start with.
500K really isn't a lot of money, but I guess for someone it is a lot a money
To most people they'll never see that number on a personal financial statement.
I'm glad that it's not important to you. But I also doubt you've ever seen anything close to that.
So perhaps you want to answer my question now?
Bob has supplied me with all I need to build a hefty savings. Now we're not married, and never will be married. But I wouldn't have nearly as much as I do now if Bob decided things were over - even though I only cater to immensely wealthy men. Would it be right for me to demand half of what a man has worked for his entire life, or what we built together while we were together?
If I dated a wealthy man for seven years, decided to get married, and my skills and contributions doubled his income during that seven years, I would expect that to go into consideration during the prenuptial process. As of now, marriage won't be happening as I am enjoying a free style fully spoiled relationship. In the event that something ever ends, I will be prepared with the finances and resources/connections I gained through knowing Bob.Sugar.
But where the hell is Bob? 
I would like to think that your Bob would have the respect for you and ability to recognize that while you were just dating that you were an integral part of his development. If he presented you with a pre-nup suggesting that he didn't value your pre-marital contributions, why would you marry such a fool?
I'm seeing more and more younger people amassing significant wealth prior to marriage. In your example it would behoove the two of you to discuss how to properly protect each other. I've seen that over the years when couples discuss their needs and objectives, the likelihood of a successful union goes up exponentially.
After all, a marriage is just a contract. Why do people enter into contracts not understanding or agreeing to the terms?
Hell, I'm a pal of Bob's and I know. Lucy! You got some 'splainin' to do!
Maybe he's found a new 'toy?'
If I found 'the one' here or anywhere, at this point in my life (I ain't that old but I'm old enough and I've got enough to make this a relevant question) I would want them to have a right to my assets and that is exactly why I'd marry them.
I've set up a generous trust for my kid and the rest is theirs. That's what marriage is to me. I know a lot about prenups and they are good for people who approach marriage a certain way. I didn't and I don't.
And I don't know if inherent in your question is a suggestion that there is a caution flag that goes up precisely because a woman IS a provider, and while hopefully that's not the case I will say that should I marry a woman I met through the hobby, given the one's I've know a long time who I might consider 'the one' for reasons I won't elaborate on, suffice it to say I'd be MORE comfortable that there NOT be a prenup, compared to some women I have had the pleasure of knowing outside the hobby.
Maybe I'm just a romantic at heart, but it's worked pretty well so far.
-- Modified on 8/30/2015 4:54:09 PM
and I have no worries there, even if i ever lose my mind and get married again there will NEVER be a divorce.
There "might" be an accident, but no more divorces in my future.
Unless it's me. Or Mikey. Either way, we have the solution
But I have no intention of marrying again, so the issue is moot. I plan to piss my money away drinking, whoring and traveling. The rest I will probably waste.
If I come into a marriage with $1.2 million and she come in with $120 K, and we get divorced, she should get her $120 K and I get my $1.2 and we split the financial gains we've realized during our marriage. Plus, I get none of her 401K and visa versa. It's really that simple.
But the courts don't look at it that way, the woman automatically gets half. So I can certainly see why a woman would want to get married, I mean just look at my example numbers. She comes in with $120 K and leaves with $660 K plus half of the realized gains. It's a pretty damn good system if you're the woman.
There are a few characters in here who are sure to chime in that the courts respect the pre-nup's, but I have yet to hear of a successful one where the guy doesn't lose at least part of his wealth.
At the end of the day, there is a sure fire way to not lose in this endeavor, don't get married. Simple, easy peasy.
One of the very many things that I love about P4P, is that I absolutely, without a doubt, know her motivation. And because of that knowledge I can relax and enjoy every moment
Even with no Pre-Nup, your ex would not automatically get half of everything. That is simply the maximum she can expect. But a judge can award her less, depending on circumstances.
And that only goes for so-called "marital assets," IOW money you earned during the course of the marriage. Anything you brought to the marriage is a "non-marital asset" as long as it is not co-mingled with a marital asset. And that's with no Pre-Nup at all.
Feel free to PM me for my lawyer's contact info. It sounds like you need it! LOL!
I am no longer in need of a lawyer for this reason.
I simply can't stand that the courts automatically side with the woman. It's a slam dunk if a man cheats, as it should be, but if a woman cheats she can still part of his wealth. Gender equality goes both ways.
I haven't heard of a divorce where the guy doesn't lose some of his wealth. Perhaps I haven't heard a good statistical sampling. I was lucky with my divorce, we had similar wealth and no kids. So we split things evenly.
But I'll never put myself in that situation again. Fuck that! What is the upside of marriage? I can make a promise to be faithful and monogamous without a piece of paper that gives her entitlement to my stuff. I take my word seriously and live up to it. I don't have, nor do I want kids. So, from my perspective there is no upside to marriage.
First of all, the courts don't "automatically side with the woman." Most states are no fault divorce states so no one has to "side" with anyone. So it doesn't matter who cheated, because it's irrelevant to the outcome in a no fault state. And while it's true guys may lose "some" of their wealth, its usually not half. As I said earlier, nothing's automatic.
But please, russ, don't give out any advice to your buddies on this because it will probably be wrong.
-- Modified on 8/30/2015 7:09:26 PM
Don't get married in the first place. I'm not an attorney, so I sure don't pass out legal advise. It seems I may have biased opinions based upon horror stories that I have heard from friends. I'm originally from Ohio, where Alimony is still a thing (definitely not no-fault). I've never heard of a man getting alimony.
The sure fire, iron clad solution is to not get married. I don't believe in religions, don't have or want kids, so there is absolutely no reason to get married.
You are still confused on the alimony part. That's got nothing to do with no fault, and Ohio is a no-fault state. You need to make a distinction between assets and income/alimony. Everything I said about marital and non-marital assets is only about, yes ASSETS. Alimony is a separate issue. If one spouse has all the income then the other must work until they are able to support themselves. Until then, the spouse who has the income pays alimony. Claro?
What is the upside to marriage? I've commented about marriage in here countless times, in fact I'm confident that most folks are tired of my point of view. But each time I comment, I ask what is the upside to marriage, no one has offered a possible upside or even an opinion.
The responses have always been pertaining to the legality of ex wives getting a chunk of the guys wealth. Admittedly I'm not an Attorney, and I got out rather unscathed (my perspective of the financial horrors are friend's accounts of their divorce).
I fell prey to society's bullshit once, and I sure won't do it again. I've been working and saving since I was 14 years old, I'll be damned if someone gets access to the savings that I earned and sacrificed to contribute to most of my life.
I don't want anyone else's stuff, I've got my own stuff. I have what I have because I worked hard to accumulate it, I earned it. So the concept that someone can get a percentage of my stuff (even if it's not half) just because we had a piece of paper between us and things didn't work out, is simply ridiculous.
If I had wanted to have kids, I wouldn't have had to get married to do so. I take responsibility for myself and hold myself accountable so that if I had wanted kids with a woman and our relationship didn't work out I'd pay support for those kids, and more than a court would mandate.
But she and I would've been in an adult relationship and she'd have to suck it up and go to work to support herself, I'm not raising or supporting an ex GF or wife. Nobody gets a golden parachute from me.
P4P is perfect, pay as you go, on demand. Everyone is happy.
So the question still remains, what is the upside of marriage? Anyone...Anyone...Bueller...Bueller
for lots of people it's what they need. I don't judge it. Just like I don't judge someone who likes a prostate massage, which does nothing for me. As for your view about marriage incurring certain financial obligations, sorry, but the law just doesn't agree with you.
You really should come down to Costa Rica next winter. GaG and I will introduce you to some of our friends. No marriage involved.
I just changed jobs and city of residence this year, and I've been traveling like a maniac developing customer relationships and I haven't had the opportunity to take an extended break. This work addiction is as strong as my mongering addiction, but it does allow me the luxury to do so.
When I do see you guys in CR, I'm buying you both drinks. You know how it goes the FNG (fucking new guy) buys.
You are welcome to join us on a pub crawl but....
1) It could get expensive.
2) I have seen you drink. You will have to step up your game or you will end up as "Chica Banana Bait" in the Parque Morazon. Any good pub crawl in San Jose passes thorough it at least once.
Best of luck to you, russ! LOL!
Excuses are like assholes, they all stink. That being said, I did fly in that morning after a 2 leg business flight the day before.
I don't put myself in your guys league drinking, perhaps that's a good thing. I'm going for the pussy though and whiskey dick is not a good thing when pussy is your main objective. The camaraderie is a secondary byproduct, but the pussy is the primary.
So what exactly is a Chica Banana Bait? And where do I sign up?
Money wise, I'll go to work when I get home and make more.
In central San Jose there is a park named after some dude named Morazon. It's nice enough, but at night it's populated by transvestite hookers known as "chica bananas." I'm told they can be aggressive. The park lies between the infamous Del Rey, its surrounding bars and casinos, and The Sportsmens Lounge, another nice place to drink and whore. If you're going to do a pub crawl in San Jose you must pass through. GaG and I have stomped drunk through that park and come to no grief. But you never know.
I'd hope you two would have my back, sounds like I'll have to drink Cerveza. I probably can't hang with you two drinking my poison, Bourbon.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
...for divorce along with no-fault dissolutions of marriage:
http://www.ohiobar.org/ForPublic/Resources/LawYouCanUse/Pages/LawYouCanUse-69.aspx
Also, "alimony" is a word used by old geezers. The preferred term today is "spousal support."
However, you're right about separate property remaining separate unless its commingled (that's how it's spelled)
Yes, "alimony" is an old term but the other newer one is "rehabilitative maintenance." I'm paying it right now. And why do you think there's only one way to spell co-mingling?
You've won a trip to Honolulu. You and ps will be so happy together.
You've won a trip to Honolulu. You and ps will be so happy together.
...and let me drive.
I know a guy who gets alimony/spousal support AND child support; he got it cause she brought in the bucks, and even with a shared custody arrangement, the income differential means she pays. He took time off to be a stay-at-home dad, therefore he was awarded spousal support for a period to give him time to get back into the earning game.
Because I don't believe in them. What matters how or where I met her if she is "the one?"
if you find the person you want to marry here, and she agrees, the pros and cons of a prenup are exactly what they'd be if you'd met outside of the hobby. Every situation is unique. For me, if I wanted to get married, I'd want that person to have what I have, and can't imagine wanting a prenup. And yes, they are upheld usually if the parties are each represented by their own lawyers.
"he'd" have to sign.
Don't understate women of any age. Ever.
I would get a pre-nup no matter where or how I met my wife-to-be. I can't imagine any successful man going without one these days. It doesn't mean the lady gets screwed. A pre-nup can be fair to both sides. The important thing is that it be definitive so that there are no long, drawn out acrimonious proceedings to divide up assets. Even if it's "you get half and I get half" - that should be spelled out in advance (as well as what is included and not included in each person's half, how it's valued, etc).
Everyone thinks its just hire a lawyer, sign a document and voila, you're set. WRONG.
HIRE TWO LAWYERS.
1 for the wife, 1 for the hubby. Sign a document with the two lawyers witnessing the event!
Personally, I'm going for the traditional wife. I don't care where I find her as long as she comes from a huge loving family and she lives for the family. Preferably religious as religion keeps the family together. The wife will take care of things at home and I will bring home the bread. A large family saves you a lot in tax if you are in a high income bracket and when they get older you can turn them into business partners which means potentially generations and generations of your spawn contributing a lot to the world. Good luck finding such a gal here haha.