I spent the majority of my years as a provider screening with my intuition. A phone chat (which I almost always required) or a well written email was enough for me to decide whether or not I'd want to see someone. Guys with foreign accents were almost always declined as were slang speakers, guys who hesitated when I asked for their name (a name they could've made up) and anyone that sounded young. I was always listening for a well spoken, middle aged, American man.
Years doing that and I never had any real problems (LE, violence etc). I did deal with a few annoyances that I probably could've avoided if I'd asked for references: guys that would NCNS, had hygiene "issues" etc
I screen now, and I certainly find validity in it, and I think it's in my best interest. But I do wonder how common it is for other providers to screen the way I did. How would you guys feel about seeing a provider that screened with intuition?
I didn't know anything about p411 or references. So I did the same thing as you. I asked them a million irrelevant questions via email (just general getting to know them, where they're from, do you have a dog, have you seen any good movies lately, etc.)
My test was, if a guy was patient enough to spend an hour or more bantering back and forth with me via email, he passed screening 
Oh, and Id also ask to speak with him on the phone to make sure his voice wasn't creepy.
If a guy rushed me to set something up, or talked about sex, or sent me a naked pic, I wouldn't meet him.
This worked out fine until someone told me about p411, then later discovered this site when someone told me I had reviews. Everyone has to start somewhere..
-- Modified on 8/27/2015 10:49:05 AM
but like you I used to put a lot of weight into a phone chat, and I am nowhere near as risk aversive as many here.
As usual, I don't go with the crowd here on this issue. If a provider doesn't "screen me thoroughly" I don't consider it a red flag like many here do. I will admit I am most definitely in the minority here.
But I would really question her intelligence. I screen so I know she is legitimate and safe enough to see, but she is playing russian roulette with her safety. It's like going bareback sooner or later something bad will happen and just like going bareback there is no take backs.
Anytime I go on vacation I try an set something a few weeks in advance. Let them know I found them on TER an my handle. Also ask if there's any info they want. Never been asked for a reference. Emails an phone calls back an forth. Others I've seen last minute when I've been canceled on I have few back ups to try an contact. But I've never contacted these girls before. I'll get on the phone an call an text an see if someone is available in a few hours. Again giving them my handle an they obviously have my number. Again not asked for a reference. I ask why they didn't ask an they said because of my voice. Of course on the other side of the spectrum is one that wouldn't see me. Long story short trying to get screened. I emailed an gave her 2 references and my handle so she could see my other reviews. Next email was where I worked because she didn't understand why I only saw girls out of town. Tried to explain but it was still a no go. So I don't understand how I passed screening on a text an phone call but then didn't when I had everything lined up.
Years doing that and I never had any real problems (LE, violence etc). I did deal with a few annoyances that I probably could've avoided if I'd asked for references: guys that would NCNS, had hygiene "issues" etc
I screen now, and I certainly find validity in it, and I think it's in my best interest. But I do wonder how common it is for other providers to screen the way I did. How would you guys feel about seeing a provider that screened with intuition?
It has always been my opinion that the girl should give the guy at least the appearance of being screened.
Guys on the NB are constantly told to due their homework on the gals and the NB gals are told to screen, screen, screen.
I think the "business", in civie life but even more so in p4p, should do their best to put a client at ease with the situation/service/product and put their mind at rest, as best they can
Not screening by the accepted standards here or giving the guy the feeling he really wasn't screened at all, will make some here very nervous, and rightfully so.
So unlike some "Homely" people here who actually think I advocate for no screening, I actually would advise that screening not only protects the gal but protects the guy as well, both legally and psychologically.
I've met my fair share of providers who operated as you have and I asked some how I was allowed in the door so quick and painlessly. They basically replied that they had been in the game long enough to know what signs to look for and be able to trust their intuition. For the new girls, I try to impress upon them that good screening can be the difference between having fun and flaming out.
In San Francisco it's almost impossible to get busted unless you are on the street or a bunch of girls share some family motel on Lombard St and create a disturbance. Discreet indies are left alone. There are a few old school escorts who prefer telephone screening and their own intuition. They are not low end ladies either. I have no problem with it.
I was arrested a few times back before the internet.
When I started checking references was when I had two of my friends get arrested and taken to jail from their own hotel rooms for escorting without a license.
If you don't screen, there is NO way to protect yourself against that. You can't ask them if they are a cop or ask them to get naked...LE can do that. Of course you can avoid a charge of prostitution if you don't discuss what you will be doing for the money and they will try to get you to do that, but it's too late if they come in. They can arrest you for escorting without a license.
Should you get a license? Maybe. I'd rather just screen.
I thought I was protecting myself pretty well because I would pick everyone up offsite. And they knew I was going to do that. I figured anyone who intended to harm me in one way or another, or if they were LE would find someone else. That was probably true for the most part...
When I started screening I thought it might cost me money in lost newbies or clients who were too scared to give any info.
All I really did was eliminate all of the no shows! Really. I can't tell you how much I believe this is true. The guys who don't have references are not worth bothering with.
Personally, I send the newbies to my website to read the etiquette and verification pages there. That way, if I won't see them, at least they can learn about TER, screening, and how to keep themselves safe. Hopefully they will go on to become educated about all of this and maybe even come back and see me when they have a bit of experience.
xoxo
First always trust your intuition but it isn't enough. It just isn't. I know too many ladies that got hurt bad. LE is not the worse thing that you can run into. I know of ladies that got raped. I know ladies that got robbed. And yes I yes I know women that have been arrested. Please ladies screen.
Guys you need to screen too. Everyone needs to screen everyone or bad things will happen. There are real bad people out there that can act nice and normal until too late. Then there is the cops.
Guys you need to screen too. Everyone needs to screen everyone or bad things will happen. There are real bad people out there that can act nice and normal until too late. Then there is the cops.
Ladies who have been around a long time have done bad things including the well reviewed ones. There are no guarantees.
One of the ladies that was raped has been working 16 years and screened the whole time based on intuition. One day a dangerous man slipped by, she was beat up and raped. Ted Bundy was smooth enough to talk down a cop with a victim in the car. Another lady I know prided herself in her ability to detect cops, and she had a good run but after screening out tons of cops one BSed his way to an appointment lucky when she arrived she sensed something was up and disallowed sexual talk or she would have got more than a no SOB license. Intuition is not enough. It just isn't.
and Ted Bundy is a perfect example. Just because real screening isn't perfect doesn't mean it's OK to depend on your instincts. You were right to call out Smalltimemonger on that one. He can seem like a real know-it-all, when he's really a knows-a-little.
But I'll bet she'd have no problem accommodating you! Oh, and thanks for changing your tune mid thread. It is very clear Smalltimemonger talks out of both sides of "his" mouth.
You're so cute when you do that
With intuition comes experience. Even those who screen may not see somebody if their intuition tells them not to. I've known ladies who have screened who had the same types of bad things happen. It's not a panacea. Bringing a one in a billion type of guy like Ted Bundy into the argument is bullshit on your part.
All I'm saying is that the ladies should do whatever they feel comfortable with. Cops are not a factor for indies in some areas unless they are streetwalkers.
And extreme example, yes. But as I said, sociopaths and psychopaths are extremely charming and persuasive. They instinctively know what buttons to push. Richard Matt, the escaped convict who talked that pathetic woman into helping him escape is another. Ask a few girls about the charming psychopaths they've been fooled by. Yes, intuition is important too. But only when combined with thorough screening.
She would have found that he has shown aggressive behavior in the past. His name and number was on multiple blacklists, not for rape but for being pushy, not respecting boundaries and once he pushed a lady. Had she screened she would have avoided him. And she wasn't new, she had done this for 16 years. Ted Bundy is not unique he is just the most lethally extreme. Sociopaths and psychopaths are the best liers out there. Of course intuition is invaluable but it isn't enough. And of course screening isn't infallible but it will catch things intuition alone will not.
I live in central jersey and very rarely I have declined an appt based on red flags. As they say "location, location, location".
What prevents LE from gathering my info if they pose as a provider?
They have even co-opted the P411 accounts of girls they'd busted several times. This is not a no-risk sport.
Who cares if they haven't done it yet in SF? They certainly could. And, of course, "references are not a panacea either," Captain Obvious. What about "This is not a no-risk sport" did you fail to understand? There are no panaceas. You really are a fuzzy thinker for a know-it-all.
But can any cop flip a girl who has a P411 profile? Of course. For you to imply it could not be done in SF or anywhere else is just more hot air from you. And I have previously said intuition is not unimportant, so another red herring from you. You are a fuzzy thinker and a compulsive, argumentative ignoramus. Talk about someone who can't understand the obvious.
The real irony is that I met both of those dudes on AM.
So that makes you one of the rare real AM women
I screened this way when I was brand new. I didn't even know there were such things as references lol! That's how green I was when it came to this biz!
The problem with screening with your intuition is that it's a false sense of security. If someone is nice and seems normal, you feel comfortable, so you think that that's your intuition telling you he's ok. Here's where the problem with "seems" comes in lol.
Actions speak louder than words. Anyone can act nice, but that does not mean they are a nice person or that they necessarily have good intentions.
If a guy goes through my specific screening process the way I request, that says much more about his integrity than just playing the part of a nice guy on the phone.
Years doing that and I never had any real problems (LE, violence etc). I did deal with a few annoyances that I probably could've avoided if I'd asked for references: guys that would NCNS, had hygiene "issues" etc
I screen now, and I certainly find validity in it, and I think it's in my best interest. But I do wonder how common it is for other providers to screen the way I did. How would you guys feel about seeing a provider that screened with intuition?
However having to pick which one offers the most safety to a provider, proper screening wins hands down.
I am lazy, and very spoiled first by being a mod here which made screening a breeze for me, and then by P411 which 99% of the time does everything for me, but as long as a woman is gracious about asking for additional information from me, lazy as I am, I can put myself in her shoes and I know that if "I" did this shit for a living, I too would be pretty damn tough about screening.
I will add, that "demanding" personal info in a tone that sounds like it is "demanding" will be met with radio silence from me. I don't mind be asked for things, I hate being told. Call it a character flaw on my part, I have always had a problem with authority. lol
True! It's kinda disrespectful to demand things! I do admit, in the past I would get a tad bit bitchy at guys if they made a mistake or missed some of the stuff I wrote. I'm a really nice girl lol, but I would just get annoyed I guess lol. But I am a consumer too, and I expect patience and professionalism, so I get it and always try to convey that...
And no, screening is not foolproof. We just have to do the best we can. I've had some bad experiences but learned how to play it safer.
Some of the loveliest gentlemen I have ever met learned English as their second (or third) language. To each her own I suppose.
I screen based on a whole lot of factors, but to put it simply I screen based on facts and intuition. As long as he corresponds with me in a respectful manner and presents me with complete, accurate screening information, we are all set. Well I shouldn't say that; even gentlemen who have met all my screening criteria and have spoken respectfully have raised red flags, but that's where the intuition comes in I suppose. My profession outside of this industry necessitates attention to detail, so I make a point of noticing the little things, but also considering any mitigating factors.
Overall, I try to make the process as easy and painless as possible for the both of us
Indeed, why!? As a gentleman with foreign accent I am deeply concerned about this little bias. I am proud of the fact that I can misspell, mispronounce, and make myself misunderstood in more than one language. Besides, the fact that English is only my fifth language in no way affects my manners or oral skills 