A few lines of prose told to me by a young lady from Charlote when I was young. When the weather's hot and sticky, It's not the time for dunkin Dicky. When the frost is on the pumpkin, That's the time for Dicky dunkin. Didn't I see frost thismorning?
Remember the good old days in school, hanging out with the gang, chugging down some brew and singing those nasty songs? I invite all here to offer their most favorite lines from some of those songs. The one I offer here goes:
There once was a man from Nantuckett,
whose C#$% was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin, while wiping his chin,
"If my ear was a kitty, I'd F#$% it!"
My favorite limerick for this age of political correctness goes like this:
A gay guy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night,
Over who had the right,
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
d_d
Here goes:
There was a young man from Boston
who drove around in a two-seated Austin;
He had room for his ass, a gallon of gas
but when his balls fell out, he lost 'em!!
There once was a young man named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave,
He said I'll admit, I'm a bit of a Shit,
But think of the money I save.
There once was a young lady from Margrass,
Who had a most beautiful a**,
But it wasn't pink, as you might think,
But was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
You went to a pretty randy college!
Here are a couple for you from the UK
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, coz he was gay
AND
My First Time
The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
Her eyes so blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
To place my hand
On her breasts
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when she did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time
Milking a cow!
A few lines of prose told to me by a young lady from Charlote when I was young. When the weather's hot and sticky, It's not the time for dunkin Dicky. When the frost is on the pumpkin, That's the time for Dicky dunkin. Didn't I see frost thismorning?
There was a young couple named Kelly
Who were forced to walk belly to belly
Because in their haste they used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly
There once was a man from Boston,
Who drove a Healy-Austin,
There was a place for his gas,
And a place for his ass,
But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.
There once was a man named McSweeney,
Who spilled some Gin on his Weenie.
Just to be couth, he added Vermouth,
And slipped his wife a martini.
There once was an engineer named Paul,
Who had hexagonially shaped balls,
The square of their weight
And his pecker length times eight,
Is his phone number, give him a call.
Hope you enjoy these, I'll try to remember the others
later.
Loarthan.
There once was a couple named Kelly,
who went around belly to belly.
Because in their haste, they used library paste,
instead of petroleum jelly.
This thread has apparently turned to limericks rather than drinking songs, so here's one of my favorites:
There once was a young man from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent
So to same himself trouble
He stuck it in double
And instead of cuming he went!
Limericks, is it? How about this one from Isaac Asimov:
On the bank sat the bishop of Buckingham
He was cooling his balls, he was ducking 'em
While watching the stunts
Of the cunts in the punts
And the tricks of the pricks as was fucking 'em
There was a young man from Devizes
Whose balls were of two different sizes
the one that was small was of no use at all
but the larger one won several prizes!
Can't contribute to the Song part, but my dearly departed dad had a toast that he reserved for those "special occasions" usually with stodgy relatives or friends:
"Here's to the hole that never heals,
The more you rub it, the better it feels"
I can't BELIEVE nobody has yet mentioned John Valby...the master of all raunchy drinking songs.
To the tune of "On the Road Again":
"In her pants again,
I just can't wait to get in her pants again...
I just can't wait to get down
and much between her thighs...
I just can't wait to hear all those moans and sighs
In her mouth again!
Well she's got lock jaw but
between her teeth is my favorite place...
Oh, but in the end,
there's a sticky river flowin' on her pillow case
that bitch moved her face...
On the rag again,
my little girl is on the rag again
and it don't matter much to me how long it's been
when she's on the rag I'm on the road again..."
"Sit on my face and tell me that you love me!
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too!
I love to hear you oralize,
when I'm between your thighs,
you blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you!
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly!
Life will be fine
if we go sixty-nine
if we sit on our faces in all sorts of place and
play till we're blown away!"
Pop in a Valby tape and you were gauranteed to piss off the ladies and make the guys bust a gut laughing.
Ahh...the memories.
I can't remember the name of the tune sung to but...
In heaven there is no beer.
That's why we drink it here.
And when we're gone from here.
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.
Or this one sung to the tune of the Notre Dame fight song.
Cheer, cheer for old (fill in the blank) High.
You bring the whiskey, I'll bring the rye.
Send the Sophomores out for more,
and don't let a sober Senior in.
Da da da da....