Like you, I don't wear a watch. I'm also nearsighted, but the incall locations I've been to have had clocks that I can see enough to get an idea of what time it is. Even then, I also tend to rely on the lady to give me the subtle signs that "time's up".
Provided that we are within a few minutes plus or minus the agreed upon duration of the date, I have no problem understanding that when she starts putting on a robe or other piece of clothing, it's time to go. She doesn't need to say it, but that's a pretty good indication.
Since my hobbying is mostly limited to lunch hour appointments, my need to get back to work pretty much prevents me from staying too long anyway, so it hasn't been much of an issue with me. It has happened to me once when I had outcall to my place where I felt that we ended too soon, but that's rare for me.
BKMan
I would like to have both providers and hobbyist opinions on what "not being a clock watcher means"? The reason I am curious is because I thought it meant that your not always looking at the clock and letting your client know that he needs to hurry up because his time is almost up. To my surprise lately I have had sessions where we go over not just 20 minutes but really over like 1 hr or 45 minutes. To my surprise these clients give me 8-9 for reviews however do not compensate me( or tip me) for the additional time. I can not change who I am and the fact that I love this biz(in more ways than one),however I feel that if someone goes above and beyond they should be compensated for the additional time. I do not talk about donation$ during a session it is taken care of at the begining of the appt. Do I expect a tip....NO!(at least not for providing the time you requested) However,I do not like to feel taken advantage of.
I invite you to please share your opinion.
Kisses & Licks...........
Mara
as a newbie student of the art, you are right. you might be taken advantage of! reading between the lines, Websters for Hobbyists might define "nonclock watcher" as: 1) doesn't kick me out after the prescribed time, 2) doesn't harrass me for a tip, or 3) really likes the Hobbyist, forgot track of time, see forget about it, see Regulars, Friends, aka you got lucky).
point being, yes this is a service based industry, but don't forget the humanity involved? you'll tip the waitress for an extra coffee but not your provider for extra time?
ok, I'll shut up now. The hobbyist who believes in definition #3 will probably make it up to you on the backend, on repeat visits??? Need I mention that they're probably infatuated with you also? Hell, I love you already for asking such a question. I'd probably fork over the extra dough just to talk with you.
educate me, fahrkle
This is a tough one. I think that many of us would like to give tips to good providers such as you. However, I think most go to an appointment with little more than the donation itself in thier pockets. It makes a guy feel special when the provider goes over the time limit and says nothing. He thinks that she really liked the time they spent together. Unfortunately, many of us hobbyists are to dense to realize that your time is just as valuable as ours.
When they say you are not a clock watcher, it's a compliment because they feel as though they got a great deal. And they did. You may want to adjust your rates or be stricter with the time. However, this may make you lose favor with some hobbyists. I'm only guessing. I know that you are worth every penny and more. With any luck, this thread should let some hobbyists know that compensation is expected for extra time spent with a provider.
You may also want to understand that you are one of few local providers that hobbyists really like to talk with. You ae not a provider just in it for the money who simply goes through the motions. I think some hobbyists get lost in your aura and simply never even think about extra compensation. They have such a great time conversing with you after the fun has been had, they may not understand that time is time. Even if it's talking as opposed to other things.
I hope that came out right. It's just an opinion and some compliments on your great service.I really do hope that fellow hobbyists read this and get the hint. Always remember and never forget, tips are rarely expected, but always appreciated.
Pronunciation: "kwid-"prO-'kwO
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, something for something
Date: 1591
: something given or received for something else; also : a deal arranging a quid pro quo
It sounds as though you feel a lot like the gentlemen feel who pay for an hour but then as soon as they pop the lady leaves, perhaps as soon as after only 15 or 20 minutes.
I suspect you need to find a gentle way to send the gentleman out the door with the suggestion that they book a longer session the subsequent time. I know if I'm having a good time I don't watch the clock either. Most of the ladies I've been with have gently nudged me with the hint to leave and I take that hint. When I see a therapist, counselor or CMT they are the ones that set the time limits since it is their profession to do so.
To me a "clockwatcher" is someone who jumps up at the tick of the hour even if it is in mid stroke. Allowing a little extra time doesn't have to be as uncomfortable as running right out the door nor as unprofitable as staying for an extra hour feeling uncompensated.
I've seen several pricing structures out there that encourage longer visits such as $300 for 1 hour and $400 for 2 and I've seen ladies advertise that they require a minimun of 2 hours for first appointments. Subsequent appts. can be tailored to the interaction based on your knowledge of the client's type i.e. quickie or talker/needy type. There's also no reason you can't tailor the cost to how much to wish to spend time with that client too. I don't think relying on tips will work all that much as you've found. At least some gentlemen see escorts because they believe they know what it'll cost in advance (unlike dating.)
I have been very focus on being ethical in what I do. My clients pay me for my time........that is it. What we do with that time as two consenting adults is up to us.
Kisses & Licks........
Mara
I think the term "not a clock watcher" is used more for a sense of the flow of the sessions. Yes it can mean that you go over the time, but it can also mean that you are not giving that rushed feeling to the session or constantly saying are you there yet, you have to finish now. I have always felt that it is the responsibility of the provider to set the tempo of the session as it is their business and they know their routine. Some like to talk to their "friends" a little to get comfortable with each other, give a massage to help each other relax, either one is my preference. Some want to get you in and out literally and figuratively as quick as they can.
I think it is a fine line that you have to establish, as to how far over a session you are willing to go. It should never be done with the intent of expecting additional compensation at that meeting. If the client you are with is a nice person, you enjoy spending time with that person you may wish to be somewhat generous with your time so he will possibly repeat and become a regular.
I am a consultant, different business, but still a service oriented business. I have learned to give some of my regular clients or those I wish to become regulars some of my time for free. If they call with a project they are thinking of getting involved with I will usually provide free advise without expecting compensation. If they have a job that another consultant is working on they may ask me about someting that has arisen on that job, a second opinion. This philosiphy has built me a very loyal client base. Sometimes I feel that I might get taken advantage of, but feel the upside ultimately is greater.
With some clients I am more generous. With some they get exactly what they pay for. Just like myself, you have to make your own judgement as to how much time is too much. Some clients will keep reaching further and further and those have to be reigned in politely or maybe even sternly, that your time is up or in my case that any additional information will be charged.
I like my sessions to be relaxed and not mechanical in nature or by the clock. Does that mean they have to go over the alotted time, no. Just that each session should be unique and fresh. Sometimes it is nice to know that if you need five more minutes you can have it. All guys want to complete the task once started. Too much pressure to perform may make it difficult as we then become the clock watchers. Our attention switches from not just crossing the finish line but getting there by a certain time. Anyone that has raced in any type of event knows that when you have to push yourself too hard, sometimes you cramp, make mistakes and either do not finish or it actually takes you longer to finish than if you would have held your comfortable pace.
Being tagged with the phrase "not a clock watcher" is taken by most as a compliment and one worth having. It is your responsibility to keep the time frame of a session within a limit that you feel comfortable. Guys, including myself, will want to spend as much time as possible for the initial donation, especially with a woman that they find enjoyable. It is very easy for 5 to go to 10 to 30 on future sessions. You must know how to kindly put an end to it.
I do not think that a provider should purposely set a very slow tempo to the seesion with the intention of extending it past the alloted time, in an attempt get a tip. Both sides sometimes have tight schedules to meet, and it is very easy to establish that at the beginning of the session. Guys should also not try to get too greedy with the time, as it may cause that session to become your last with a provider that you really enjoyed. The problem is that the first session sets the ground rules for future sessions and some find it easier to not set an appointment with you, then to discuss that what happened last time was unique and willnot happen again. This can apply to time, as well as other features of the session.
Yes, I have added to the initial amount on several occasions for additional time. As stated in an earlier reply, many times we do not bring along additional funds and are not capable tipping. Some may do it so they do not spend more, some may only have limited funds or some may not want to carry huge sums of funds into the uncertain environment of a first meeting.
Yikes, 45 minutes to 1 hour over the agreed upon time? I know I've been guilty of going over maybe 10 or 15 minutes on rare occasions, but that sounds excessive. IMHO, that amount of time over should be compensated for somehow, either at that date or at a future date. It just makes sense to do if you respect each other's value on time.
In my years of doing part-time consulting in tandem with my full-time job, I've had the luxury of being able to give some clients more of my time than they actually paid for. The industries are different, of course, but the concepts are similar. I will say that if someone did abuse my generosity, I would not be as willing to work for free for them in the future and would be more inclined to charge them for every minute.
Just my $0.02.
BKMan
Unless you really like the guy set your clock to chime when time is up. Fifteen, twenty minutes over is cool give the guy time to clean up...but 1:45 is excessive unless it was pleasurable for you, and if thats the case maybe you should tip the guy!
I think a provider that is discribed as not being a clock watcher is really into what she does. I think it's a very nice thing to say about a provider and not many will ever get that compliment!
For me it means that I do not have to worry about time. All I have to do is enjoy my time with her. If that time is 1 hour or 2 hours that my time with her (might want more, but should had paid for more). If I go over 15 or so mins cool, that's not being a clock watcher. If you go over 45 or 60 mins that's wrong.
I have had the very nice experience of enjoying a provider that does not watch the clock. It is very nice and special that we can have a fun time and not worry about time!
I would like to clarify one point, I do not expect a tip. What is making me feel that I am being taken advantage of is: I only schedule one client a day ( I am not usually in a rush), however I do have other things to do(like most single moms), the fact that he did not even try to compensate me for the additional time by either explaining that he did not have any more money or by saying he would make it up in the next appt.
I would never try to extend a clients time so that he tips me.......that is unethical in my book.
About keeping time, would you guys agree that if you know that all you have money for is a 1hr session ,that it is also your responsibility to make sure you are aware of the time as well? If I go to buy a dress and all I have is $100.00, I will only be able to buy a dress for $100.00.
I appriciate all of your opinions thank you for taking the time to respond.
I promise no more winning.........only kisses and licks!
Mara
I personally do not wear a watch except on very rare ocassions. I usually keep track of time by clocks in my vehicles and with cell phone and pager, when away from the house or office. I turn off the pager and phone as to not be disturbed during sessions. I usually go out for sessions, so I do not always see a clock or other device, such as vcr, cable box, microwave or oven/stove while at my sessions.
I have also noticed several times that when I have seen a clock, it has been set ahead of actual time. I have taken note of the time when leaving the session only to find out that when I get to my vehicle I must have gone through a time warp as I got 10 to 15 minutes of my life back. As this has happened several times over the years, I no longer put any faith in time keeping devices that a provider may place in a visible location.
The only time I want to keep track of time is if I have to make it to some other event and have shoe horned in an appointment. Something I never do purposely, but sometimes the start time gets adjusted by the provider or a client sets up a meeting after I have already set an appointment.
If it is a good session I honestly loose track of time. If it is a bad session it probably isn't going to last anywhere near the agreed to time. Over the years I have learned when my host feels it is time for me to leave, either by verbal cues or by her walking to the door to let me out.
I do not try to take advantage of a good thing, as I want to be invited back. Many times when leaving my first session, I will ask if it is ok for me to return. This gives my host the ablity to address any issues she feels needs clarification or to say I'd love to see you again. Which to me means what happened is perfectly acceptable on return visits.
Mara, If a client doesn't have access to a clock and is having a really good time with you, he is probably clueless as to how much time is spent (as ncytguy suggests).
Albert Einstein said it best when giving a lay description of his theory of relativity: "...When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute—and it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity..."
Pretty smart guy, that Einstein.
What you are implying is that it is my fault for not reminding him that the time is up?
I wouldn't tend to think of it in terms of fault.
I can only speak from my perspective. Since I do only incall as a client, I don't always know where the clocks are and I don't keep my wristwatch on. Since I'm pretty nearsighted, I rarely can tell where the clocks are without my glasses, let alone read them.
To follow on the Einstein quote, I typically have a very good sense of what time it is, without a clock. However, if I'm having a very good time with a beautiful woman, I can easily be off by 1/2 hour or more -- I just lose track. I usually depend on the provider to let me know when the session is over.
In Jeanine Garafolo's comedy act, she has a great line for getting males out of her bedroom at a fixed time, likening to last call in a bar: "..You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.." In a more tactful way, most hobbyists probably expect to be also told by providers when the show is over.
-- Modified on 10/17/2002 6:07:33 PM
To all the guys who can't tell time:
I tend to disagree. I always make sure I have a clock or cell phone, and make note of the time. It puts the lady in an awkward position when she is trading time for money, and yet she knows some people will resent her bringing up the time. The phrase "clock watcher" almost creates a negative connotation for a lady who simply doesn't want to be ripped off. And I do mean ripped off - stealing her time is no different than her stealing your money, is it? That's what each of you bring to the exchange.
So I think the problem goes away by the guy being aware of the time and being considerate. Anyone who pleads an inability to tell time with a boner is making up a false problem. It isn't really that difficult. Believe, I am no less "swept away" than anyone, but Jaysus, boyos, I learned to tell time in kindergarten. And we didn't even have digital clocks back then (hell, when I was in kindergarten we had mastodon-bone sundials!).
Imagine how you'd feel if you agreed on a price up front and then she wanted more when you were there, saying "oh but I just lose track of my senses when I see all that beautiful cash.." You would be offended, right? But somehow it's OK the other way around?
What is really happening is this situation is the that guy is hoping the provider will feel pressured by a the awkwardness of the situation, and her desire to get a good review, and will be reluctant to bring up the time, so he will get extra time for free even though you agreed on a certain price and certain time in advance. That = a rip-off.
If you're worried about the "time warp" then just go by whatever clock is there, and note the time when you start (and mention it to her so there is no misunderstanding). If the clock is set ahead, it won't matter as long as you both look at the same clock.
As some parts of my posts have been referenced in this thread, I will add some more of my views. A miss set clock does still tell relative time. My problem is that you are sometimes not in view of the clock from the start. You may have a conversation in one room before moving to where the real action starts.
Anyone that can honestly tell me that they are always aware of the time without looking at a time piece or the sun, I will say you have a very great skill. I think most of us have opened our phone bills and looked at the minutes and say that must be wrong. No way could I talk with someone for more than an hour. Just think back to those first calls when you fall in love.
There are three times that time really seems to fly by fast for me. The first when you are having a really good time, the second if you are attempting to complete a project by a date and time specific deadline, and the third is when you owe someone or something money. The higher or more risky the rates the quicker the payment is due, especially when you do not have the funds to cover the payment.
I still feel that it is bascially the providers responsiblity as it is her or in a few cases his business. Some providers may set their gift slightly higher because they like to spend some time at the begining of the session to talk to get comfortable and know the session is likely to run over. Others may set it a little lower because they can rush most guys out in just over half an hour. There are no set rules in this hobby. Everyone should know a comfortable way to say the session is over.
Providers provide. They provide what they want for as long as they want for whatever they feel is right. Just look at the range of donations in the reviews for basically the same service or the variation in service for the same donation.
Run your business in a fashion that makes you happy, that is why I work for myself. I could probably make more money in less hours working for someone else, but I like the flexibility. I feel like a door mat on some occasions, but I also know how to tell my clients enough is enough. The problem of being your own boss is you are the one that makes all the decisions and set the rules of operation. The easy ones as well as the very difficult ones.
My posts represent how I look at this hobby and my experiences. Everyone of us views life differently and is exposed to different experiences. So I do not speak or pretend to represent or speak for any group. My feelings and statements should not be applied with a broad brush.
I do not go into a session with the intention of stretching past the agreed to time. Also if I show up late becasuse of traffic, parking problems or just bad scheduling on my part, I assume that my session will be shortened accordingly. If the provider is the one that alters the start time, then I feel I should still get the agreed to time or a possible discount to account for a shorter session.
It is my nature to let the provider set the rules, the tempo, the variety of action and how close to watch the clock. If I get somewhere near the agreed to time, +/- 10-15 minutes, and a level of service that puts a smile on my face, I feel that I have had a good session.
As I have sated before, I will not take advantage of a provider that I wish to see again and if I do not want to return I probably do not want to stay. In my life, I have only been taken advantage of by those that I let take advantage of me.
Like you, I don't wear a watch. I'm also nearsighted, but the incall locations I've been to have had clocks that I can see enough to get an idea of what time it is. Even then, I also tend to rely on the lady to give me the subtle signs that "time's up".
Provided that we are within a few minutes plus or minus the agreed upon duration of the date, I have no problem understanding that when she starts putting on a robe or other piece of clothing, it's time to go. She doesn't need to say it, but that's a pretty good indication.
Since my hobbying is mostly limited to lunch hour appointments, my need to get back to work pretty much prevents me from staying too long anyway, so it hasn't been much of an issue with me. It has happened to me once when I had outcall to my place where I felt that we ended too soon, but that's rare for me.
BKMan
I would consider myself a punctual kind of guy. Never been late to any rendez-vous. I have been made to wait a few times, but that is ok. Once I take off my watch (it would be too tacky to leave it on during),I kind of depend on the lady. I always felt that my internal clock would tell me when the tme is up, but that has never worked. I kind of loose time when having fun. Never did overstayed, however several times I have been shocked at finding out that I was short-time by 10-15 minutes. Overall, it really is up to the lady. BTW, I have never seen a clock at an incall location next to the play pen.
Maybe another solution is to explicitly mention to the lady at the start "I'm not watching the time because I intend to be thinking about something other than the clock, so I'm relying on you to tell me when time is up." That way you get what you want, but you don't put her in the awkward position of wondering whether or not you are the kind of guy that will review her as an "impatient clock watcher" if she brings it up.