Most have their incall location in a secure building where you need to be buzzed in for exactly this reason.
Most guys have give the respect of not just showing up and knocking at the door, but for those few that don't, a few safeguards are not hard to implement.What are your thoughts on this?
10 minutes? Sure.. That's all good, but 30? Or more?
I am personally not comfortable with this as I can easily be walking around aside in my day to day clothes and am at a vulnerable place. I would suggest going to a Starbucks, pulling off and sending some work emails, whatever... Anything else besides sitting in the parking lot of where I am having my office for that day and letting me know that you are there 30 minutes early.
I know that it's a public area and anyone can be there, but I just wonder.. If I was going to your hotel and showed up early. What if I caught you mid private phone call outside sitting with a coworker?
I guess I just don't understand people showing up so early.
I appreciate others views, same and opposite of mine.
xo
For new locations, I have arrived 30 minutes early, but, as you mention, I head off to a public eatery (or drinkery (coffee not alcohol)) and wait until 5-10 minutes before. Although, as a provider, if you work out of a hotel, I can see less angst on your part. But those that work out of their homes, I can see the problem.
Then again, I have been texted 30 or more minutes before a date with a "ready anytime" or "ready now"
Sometimes I have my dogs (the guys know) and will be walking them outside.
Sometimes I run down to my car to put things in it.
There are just so many factors.
I like people to see me when I am in "Alyssa" mode.
One time I saw someone twice while I was at the same room at the same in call. He messaged me, "I'm a little early!" I was on the phone with my GRANDMOTHER!!! when I heard a knock at the door. I couldn't believe it!! He said, "I messaged you that I'm early.. " I said, "I was on the phone... With my grandmother!!!"
Talk about a mood kill! lol, but seriously..
Start charging for ALL of your time. That will put an end to that nonsense quick. Lawyers bill in 15 minute increments - so can you, and the bastards round up to bill. e.g. a 5 minute phone call get rounded up to 15 minutes for billing purposes.
Sometimes I run down to my car to put things in it.
There are just so many factors.
I like people to see me when I am in "Alyssa" mode.
One time I saw someone twice while I was at the same room at the same in call. He messaged me, "I'm a little early!" I was on the phone with my GRANDMOTHER!!! when I heard a knock at the door. I couldn't believe it!! He said, "I messaged you that I'm early.. " I said, "I was on the phone... With my grandmother!!!"
Talk about a mood kill! lol, but seriously...
It's very simple just stick with the time that was agree upon and respect it.
If you come early that is on you.
Some ladies don't mind and others do mine.
We all have personal lives and that is the main point to remember.
Sometimes I run down to my car to put things in it.
There are just so many factors.
I like people to see me when I am in "Alyssa" mode.
One time I saw someone twice while I was at the same room at the same in call. He messaged me, "I'm a little early!" I was on the phone with my GRANDMOTHER!!! when I heard a knock at the door. I couldn't believe it!! He said, "I messaged you that I'm early.. " I said, "I was on the phone... With my grandmother!!!"
Talk about a mood kill! lol, but seriously...
A few times I have jokingly said "you have reached your text limit. They will now be 5c/each"
A mine is a terrible thing to waste ... Or not to have.
If you come early that is on you.
Some ladies don't mind and others do mine.
We all have personal lives and that is the main point to remember.
Sometimes I run down to my car to put things in it.
There are just so many factors.
I like people to see me when I am in "Alyssa" mode.
One time I saw someone twice while I was at the same room at the same in call. He messaged me, "I'm a little early!" I was on the phone with my GRANDMOTHER!!! when I heard a knock at the door. I couldn't believe it!! He said, "I messaged you that I'm early.. " I said, "I was on the phone... With my grandmother!!!"
Talk about a mood kill! lol, but seriously...
If I am not sure where I am going, no matter the reason, I ALWAYS like to be 10-15 minutes early... I can't help it, it's my OCD coming out.
When going to an incall, since I normally have a bottle of chilled wine and a small shaving kit in my computer bag, I typically simply park the car and find someplace nearby to do a few basics to prepare for a proper greeting (brush teeth, wash hands/face, etc), perhaps grab a bottle of water, and discreetly kill the time until I know the room number and can arrive without making the lady feel uncomfortable. I can't imagine knocking on her door 30 minutes early
That's because you're NOT a Douche Bag.
When going to an incall, since I normally have a bottle of chilled wine and a small shaving kit in my computer bag, I typically simply park the car and find someplace nearby to do a few basics to prepare for a proper greeting (brush teeth, wash hands/face, etc), perhaps grab a bottle of water, and discreetly kill the time until I know the room number and can arrive without making the lady feel uncomfortable. I can't imagine knocking on her door 30 minutes early.
Yes, if the client knows the room number then that is the same as having him at your house... He knows you are behind door number 1. I also did not assume they knew what you looked like and that you were outside your door (walking dogs, running to car, drinking at the bar).
I can not believe the client knew your room, AND just showed up without waiting for you to acknowledge that he was early and ready to see him, would have been funny if another client answered the door... Better yet, an LEO that hobbies, answered door in uniform (or client in role play)..
Are they part of the scene?
Sometimes I run down to my car to put things in it.
There are just so many factors.
I like people to see me when I am in "Alyssa" mode.
One time I saw someone twice while I was at the same room at the same in call. He messaged me, "I'm a little early!" I was on the phone with my GRANDMOTHER!!! when I heard a knock at the door. I couldn't believe it!! He said, "I messaged you that I'm early.. " I said, "I was on the phone... With my grandmother!!!"
Talk about a mood kill! lol, but seriously...
That's just wrong.
Feel free to sit down next to someone...log on to TER and post a few times to kill whatever time you need to.
Why the paranoia?
10 minutes? Sure.. That's all good, but 30? Or more?
I am personally not comfortable with this as I can easily be walking around aside in my day to day clothes and am at a vulnerable place. I would suggest going to a Starbucks, pulling off and sending some work emails, whatever... Anything else besides sitting in the parking lot of where I am having my office for that day and letting me know that you are there 30 minutes early.
I know that it's a public area and anyone can be there, but I just wonder.. If I was going to your hotel and showed up early. What if I caught you mid private phone call outside sitting with a coworker?
I guess I just don't understand people showing up so early.
I appreciate others views, same and opposite of mine.
xo
Like bigguy30 said.
Majority of my friends know what I do, so that's not my personal..
The issue I have is..
"I parked early. I saw her outside walking around.. Wearing sweats and a tshirt... "
That is not Alyssa. That is my day to day life. I keep the two separate. I rarely log on to ter or take phone calls when I'm in my "real world." So I don't see why I should have to worry about someone in the vice versa situation.
Would you care if you were walking around with your family at the mall and an escort came up to you and said, "what's up BS! Can't wait to see you again!" To me it's the same thing. It's separate my privacy from my other world and this world.
Last thing I want to worry about is someone taking photos of me in the outside world and posting them linking them to this. That's not paranoia, that has happened.
There's a large reception area at most hotels upon arrival. There's plenty of outdoor seating for guests waiting for cars. There is often a contingent of people coming and going.
Privacy?
And you rarely log on to TER? OK...sure LOL
Majority of my friends know what I do, so that's not my personal..
The issue I have is..
"I parked early. I saw her outside walking around.. Wearing sweats and a tshirt... "
That is not Alyssa. That is my day to day life. I keep the two separate. I rarely log on to ter or take phone calls when I'm in my "real world." So I don't see why I should have to worry about someone in the vice versa situation.
Would you care if you were walking around with your family at the mall and an escort came up to you and said, "what's up BS! Can't wait to see you again!" To me it's the same thing. It's separate my privacy from my other world and this world.
Last thing I want to worry about is someone taking photos of me in the outside world and posting them linking them to this. That's not paranoia, that has happened.
It is privacy when you are being invited as a guest to show up at a certain time.
And I said when I'm in my real world. Obviously you missed that part.
When I am not focused on work time, I do not log in to ter nor answer phone calls.
Meetings at hotels are NOT private affairs. Meeting in YOUR room is a private affair.
I missed nothing in your post...you simply are trying to make your incorrect assumptions about privacy fact.
And I said when I'm in my real world. Obviously you missed that part.
When I am not focused on work time, I do not log in to ter nor answer phone calls.
Not that I'm judging, but I said you missed the part about me and not logging in when I'm in the real world.
Do you let people in real life finish their sentences?
I believe that any meeting between people, be it one or fifty, should happen at the time they are planned. You don't show up to a wedding early and that's a public event, so why show up to my office. I don't care if it's a hotel or what. If there no bar here, it could be considered trespassing. A guest is invited and that invite starts and stops at a certain time. Someone can't come two days early and sleep in the parking lot, so why come 30 minutes early and creep in the parking lot.
You're really odd in how you see life.
I left your other odd comment about playing on TER alone...as that is also nonsense.
Congrats on earning LWAM status.
Do you let people in real life finish their sentences?
I believe that any meeting between people, be it one or fifty, should happen at the time they are planned. You don't show up to a wedding early and that's a public event, so why show up to my office. I don't care if it's a hotel or what. If there no bar here, it could be considered trespassing. A guest is invited and that invite starts and stops at a certain time. Someone can't come two days early and sleep in the parking lot, so why come 30 minutes early and creep in the parking lot.
I left out a "NOT" just like you left out a you(R).
Alone? Are you like.. Slow? I never said alone.
I separate my life between when I can focus on work and when I am focusing on other things.
Meaning; when I'm relaxing on the beach, I do not log on to ter.
When I am at a family event, I do not log on to ter.
If I'm sitting at home, like right now, and the people who live with me are home and we're watching the little league World Series, I'll log on. I can multi task that.
If my sister walks in the room and wants to have a serious chat, I'll log off ter.
So when I am doing other things, I expect others to not be lingering in the parking lot of my office for that day if that is the reason they were invited over in the first place.
Forget letting people finish their sentences.. Do you even have any friends?
(Outside of the ones you type to on ter, obviously.)
There's a beach in Vegas? Near Red Rock...or is it on the Strip?
Who would want to be friends with someone like me? Rich, powerful, extremely good looking, smartest man in most rooms, personable, generous to a fault, modest, owns most of the world in various trusts.
I hope those that consider themselves my friend aren't just doing so for the money 
I'm sure you'll need to post "the last word". We're counting on it.
Alone? Are you like.. Slow? I never said alone.
I separate my life between when I can focus on work and when I am focusing on other things.
Meaning; when I'm relaxing on the beach, I do not log on to ter.
When I am at a family event, I do not log on to ter.
If I'm sitting at home, like right now, and the people who live with me are home and we're watching the little league World Series, I'll log on. I can multi task that.
If my sister walks in the room and wants to have a serious chat, I'll log off ter.
So when I am doing other things, I expect others to not be lingering in the parking lot of my office for that day if that is the reason they were invited over in the first place.
Forget letting people finish their sentences.. Do you even have any friends?
(Outside of the ones you type to on ter, obviously.)
I wonder where else she thinks we cant "linger?"
Can I linger at Macy's, or is that HER wardrobe closet?
Can I linger at Mickey D's, or is that HER kitchen?
Can I linger at Home Depot, or is that HER garage? LO
Try all the stuff to knock it out too.
But sometimes...just sometimes it lingers.
I also despise when smells linger. What to do.
Can I linger at Macy's, or is that HER wardrobe closet?
Can I linger at Mickey D's, or is that HER kitchen?
Can I linger at Home Depot, or is that HER garage? LOL
How is it YOUR "office?"
And guess what? People DO show up at weddings early! Yep, its a fact!
Some have long drive times and want to make sure they are not late.
How long have you been a professional?
Sheez...
I have no problem with you showing up early. If I am ready I will take you, I usually am getting ready before the appt so I ask you to wait. Here's my issue, Ive had some gentlemen that show up early by 30 min, which again, for me is fine, but if I ask them to wait until our appointment time, they begin getting mad as the time creeps up. I even had someone say to me, I was hoping to get here early so I can be back to work before 2, or I took my lunch early so I could be here early. I couldnt help that. I know when you are bored, it seems like forever to wait, but I cannot help if you come early and please just wait until our appointment time so that I can be ready to tease and please you properly. Don't be angry because you came early and I'm not ready yet. I'm currently working on becoming a mind reader.
Thank you to those of you who arrive early, understand this and wait patiently. You guys are awesome!
What you are talking about crosses well over into "stalker territory" and those guys are NOT going to ever listen to a "gentle suggestion"
I rarely arrive more than ten minutes early, as I don't have to travel very far to where most of the incalls are in my city, but for some guys it simply can't be helped. If they don't get there 30 minutes early they risk being 30 minutes late due to traffic in cities (most major cities) where traffic can be unpredictable.
I do understand the "creep factor" but I don't see how it can be helped in some circumstances. On the rare occasions that I arrive more than just a few minutes early, I first let the woman know that I "might" be a bit early and leave it up to her if "it's okay if you are early, I am ready for you now" or "Okay, see you at our set time" in which case I simply find a comfortable place to park and return emails, phone calls, or run my mouth here on TER until the agreed upon time. If she is at a hotel, I do park in the hotel parking lot, if at an apartment, I do give her the respect of parking a couple of hundred yards away from her actual building and do NOT park right in front of her apartment because of the "creep factor" you are talking about.
I do agree it is what makes the "two call" system so important. I would never dream of just knocking on a hookers door without getting a text or call from her letting me know she is ready. I don't even do that with hookers I date, the last thing I want is for their to be an embarrassing mix up with a previous client coming out the door as I am going in. Guys that do that should get read the riot act for doing so.
God, you guys sure use the word "stalker" a lot. Stupid maybe but hardly stalking. Ask somebody how long to go from SF to San Jose. Answer 20 to 90 minutes depending on traffic, weather, accidents and other delays but *when* you leave has a lot to do with it. Depending upon where he was coming from, he may have left early to avoid traffic.
The stupid part was texting her 30 minutes ahead of time. He should have just waited until it was 5 minutes before his appointment
Showing up 30 minutes early is clearly not "stalkerish" in it's own as I CLEARLY said. Taking pics of the woman unbeknownst to her most definitely IS stalker behavior.
Please learn to read. I said almost exactly what you did about traffic, etc
I partially agree that texting her was stupid, but it's not the fact that he sent her a text that was stupid, it's what he said. If he had said. "I might be early, will that be ok? Or should I just plan on our scheduled time?" only the most unreasonable of women would have taken issue with that. But just showing up 30 minutes early is rude and tactless.
Now please go sign up for a remedial reading class so I don't have to explain myself twice.
Now please go sign up for a remedial reading class so I don't have to explain myself twice.
That is what could be leading to some of the confusion. If you use tree mode, it's plain which post of hers I was responding to, and why your post looked like you can't read to me. If you use flat mode it's easy to get mixed up about who is talking or responding to who, and your mistake makes more sense.
For the record, the post I was responding to was the post where she mentioned "taking pictures"
I really wish TER would simply do away with "flat" mode, it does tend to make people look clueless when its not really their fault.
I had a thing with him yesterday on following the thread. That might be his issue more than reading comprehension.
Then again...
For the record, the post I was responding to was the post where she mentioned "taking pictures"
I really wish TER would simply do away with "flat" mode, it does tend to make people look clueless when its not really their fault.
I rarely arrive more than ten minutes early, as I don't have to travel very far to where most of the incalls are in my city, but for some guys it simply can't be helped. If they don't get there 30 minutes early they risk being 30 minutes late due to traffic in cities (most major cities) where traffic can be unpredictable. .
But regardless of whenever I show up, I always make a call or text before heading into an incall, even if I know exactly where I am going
Most people I know show up late 
That is a whole different topic of conversation!!! lol lol
It's all I can do you get my room the way I want it, get my makeup and HAIR the way I want it before the allotted start time.
I need ALL the time I can get to pull off "Steph" at my "advanced age" as my bud GaG like to kid me about.
Steph xoxo
Its not paranoia, it's rude and fucking annoying! It happens far too often. I will often get texts from clients 10, 15, 20, ,25, and yes even 30. You just schedule an appointment with your doctor then show up 30 minutes early, and walk into the doctors office whenever you feel like it, or your lawyer. Hell even my massage therapist won't take me earlier than my scheduled time.
I saw a client post that "he always shows up to a ladies incall at least 15-20 minutes early and he shouldn't be left waiting in the parking lot" to which I promptly replied that ladies don't have a right to relax, eat, shower, etc ?? I try to provide ladies 30 minutes to 1 hour if I can in between clients.
It also draws attention, I often get "I'm here in the lobby" very early before their appointment time. I've had clients call me right in front of the front desk and speaking loudly they are there in lobby 15 minutes before their appointment time. I think some do this, to get up to the room early cause they know I don't like them in the lobby, and I have cancelled appointments for stupidity like that.
Recently, I had a client show up 20 minutes early for his 6 pm appointment, it was a slow day, so I sent him up, when the provider ended the session at 6:46 pm, he has the nerve to say "but I'm supposed to get a full hour, my appointment was for 6" she showed him the text for when he arrived and showed him the door. He then went on to text me and argue that he didn't get his full time and I screen shot the texts and sent them to him.
Sorry to go on and on, but nothing could comes of showing up very early as I said earlier it's annoying, it's rude, and it potentially puts us at risk. Like the OP said 10 minutes early, sure, stay in your car and don't go in till you're provided the room number.
"Ok, room 1405."
"1405!!!!?????"
"Yes, should I be expecting the lobby and front desk to join us??"
Lol
Obviously there are some schemers who think they can prance in at 5:40 and stay until 7... It's not as easy to end a date at 6:40.. I hear you with that. Doesn't happen often.. Since usually I'm pretty on it when it comes to time.
"1405!!!!?????"
"Yes, should I be expecting the lobby and front desk to join us??"
Lol
Obviously there are some schemers who think they can prance in at 5:40 and stay until 7... It's not as easy to end a date at 6:40.. I hear you with that. Doesn't happen often.. Since usually I'm pretty on it when it comes to time.
Yep, I love those guys or the ones that run reallllllly late, then expect not only the full hour and then some. Gotta love this industry!!
Never been stood up, thank goodness, but what is the issue?
The guys are paying, they are horny and slipping away when they can to indulge, be ready, well OK! I give them 15 mins early grace periods, but if they tell me they are 30 mins early, they have to wait an additional 10 or 15. I set my timer for the appointment time and am purposely early just for the anxious guys. I also don't give room numbers or specific locations of where I am half nude waiting until those last 15 mins. But once they are with me, that is when the appointment starts.
Early guys are OK. Usually some want to shower, have talk to ease into the session, or some want to catch me not in Jaye mode. Well OK too, part of their routine. If my hair is only half flat ironed or I am not fully made up they can't get mad either. I am clean and ready for anything bottom line and the sooner we are done the sooner I can eat, I usually don't eat before a session because I like to DT...
I see it as they are paying, I am an object of fun, be that and what they want for that time. My personal life and selfish needs are still there once these 90 mins are over. If there is too much infringement of this world into my real world, I decline appointments and take a vacation. The end.
What does not showing up being compared to being early have anything to do with the other??
This isn't like the mall opening and someone showing up waiting to be the first to hit the sale rack. This is a hobby that is successful from discretion.
if he would prefer me to be a little bit early or a little bit late.
"I'd prefer you be right on time." was his response, and was the first of many fine lessons I learned from him.
Punctuality is an oft overlooked asset
You should charge your parents for the therapy sessions if that's what you had to be taught.
"I'd prefer you be right on time." was his response, and was the first of many fine lessons I learned from him.
Punctuality is an oft overlooked asset.
But I quickly learned to adapt to adversity.
It propelled me to become the gazillionaire I am today.
Was this therapy for srx addiction? Lol. Sorry
Couldn't resist
"I'd prefer you be right on time." was his response, and was the first of many fine lessons I learned from him.
Punctuality is an oft overlooked asset.
I just couldn't seem to keep a relationship going with any woman, so a friend of a former girl friend suggested that I see this therapist she had seen. She couldn't say enough good things about him, and she herself in the year she saw him dropped about 150 lbs, found a great job, and a great husband. She insisted that I call the guy right then and there and make an appointment, so I did. I owe her a great debt of gratitude.
Within a few years I was getting laid with civie gals left and right, and then met one who decided to take me off the market, so to speak and put her tenterhooks into me.
He was just the kind of therapist I needed: a zen-Texan with a no bull-shit attitude who got me to stop sabotaging myself. Took a few years, but once things started to take off, they took off
I want to meet the plastic surgeon who removed all that excess skin! I want to buy him a drink.
This therapist had quite the magnetic personality, and got great results.
Look at me! 8o)
Sadly, he passed away under sad circumstances. So often those who help others are unable to help themselves
and even those I know, if I'm traveling a distance. But unless the gal has previously said "when ever you arrive", I don't expect admission before the scheduled time. Once I have located the call point, I withdraw to the corner coffee shop where I will not be conspicious. (In my suburban area, this works. Likely different in a urban setting.)
If I know her, I have probably let her know that I'll be at the coffee shop. I've made the call from there, after timing my return. If not, I'll return with 5 minutes to spare.
Sitting outside in a car just isn't discreet enough for me. I have been eyeballed by patroling LE & house security in the past. Everything I do is to get me out of the car without delay & into the building like I know where I'm going.
Yes, a gal is entitled to her private time... to walk her dog, get her own coffee or bring her groceries in from her car...
The when ever you arrive Gal, I was her only clientthat day & she as going to be there anyway. I've only had this with one ghal for sure & a second occasionally.
I do it all the time when arriving early for non hobby meetings, and in this age of smart phones, I Pads, etc it's really not that uncommon for salespeople and business men to be doing "work" from their call in between appointments.
Maybe I just blend in, or I just look like I belong, but I never get "eyeballed" by LE or security when "waiting around", but the one thing I would never do is wait 30 minutes right in front of her unit. That's both rude and creepy.
I guess they can just tell security that it's protocol in their world.
Sorry guys, but none of us are that important to other people going about their own business. Unless you are hanging around hotel lobbies for hours on end. or if you park yourself right across from the front desk in a Hampton Inn, nobody is going to pay much attention to you.
Millions of people hang around waiting for appointments every single day, as long as you remember to take off your tin foil hat, you'll be just fine.
nice "selfy" 8o)
Here's a shot of me pulling off another multi-billion dollar deal.
When I go somewhere to see a rock concert I'll throw a little party in my room or go to one in someone else's..
Last weekend at the borgata when 15 of us when upstairs and were louder then we should have been, whatever... If security called we could have just turned the music down.
But when people are doing things they aren't "supposed" to be doing...
Why draw attention?
I have been in both situations... Innocent and ter.... And I have been questioned in both. Living in Vegas it happened all of the time. Granted I never got in any trouble, but why add more risk when you know you can be punished.
Does that make sense?
In most major cities travel time can vary by as much as an hour to and from the same destination depending on traffic. You can't always plan on lane closures, accidents, weather, so if you have what you expect to be a thirty minute drive, many if not most "considerate" clients are going to err on the side of being early, not late. No one "wants" to have to hang around 30 minutes waiting for their "date" to get ready, but when the alternative is to risk being a half an hour late instead, "considerate" people are going to give themselves a cushion.
I end up sitting in my car waiting for people all the time, both in and out of the hobby. It's just a fact of life in the big city, or even out in the sticks where I constantly have to wait in my vehicle when meeting clients. It's just so common in my day to day life, I don't give it a second thought.
Now creepers are a different story, and I have read plenty of reviews where the guy intentionally gets there an hour early to "check out the situation" you have a completely valid bitch about those weirdos, just like you do for the guy who "expects" you to be ready for him 30 minutes early
But, like.. If I am early, I find something to do to kill the time.
If someone is going to a motel on the side of the road 180 miles from civilization and there is no other place in sight besides the side of the road, ok.. But..... What are the odds of that?
If someone is 30 minutes early I just feel that waiting elsewhere is the respectful thing to do.
I am often early to things. I will either kill the time not being in someone's face or I will, "hey in early.. No rush.. I'll occupy the time and let me know when I can meet you."
My hobby is concerts and I am always waiting for sound checks to finish so I can meet up with my friends. But I would never stand at the front door looking around.. I would seriously look for a coffee shop and ask if they want me to bring anything. Or after the concert.. I let them mingle and do their thing and I go off and play craps until they say they are finished. Obviously ten mins early there isn't time for this.. So, whatever. But half an hour?
and treating an entire hotel as if it's your private residence he is trespassing on.
Or that waiting in the hotel parking lot is somehow indiscrete. I guarantee you that if you go onto any hotel parking lot in Vegas, you'll find some guy conducting business while either waiting for an appointment or between appointments, on his cell phone or his I Pad, just like he is in his own mobile office. and no one is going to be paying the slightest attention to him.
Now a private residence is quite a different matter, I would hope that ALL the ladies here would have the good sense to not be conducting business from a single family home, and I have already agreed that parking directly in front of a woman's apartment building for 30 minutes is extremely rude and indiscrete, but there is nothing wrong with parking a few hundred yards away and logging onto TER to kill the time.
The only people allowed to park in front are Donnie and Hillary...and of course Bob.Sugar
I arrive early and make calls, send texts/emails, etc.
This ensures the client wont be LATE and isn't that a real issue in business?
and no peeking all over the place for side doors...I have been told by bartenders that they can spot the slightly nervous and excited gent who is looking at his phone incessantly. I suppose that they don't know whether it is a social media blind date or hobbying, but a lady here does not need that to happen several times in a day or a stay.
I am usually early but my solution is park some place away from her incall and get a soft drink 0r check my email. Then proceed and get there about 5 minutes early and check with her. This works for me and no one is pissed off
The other day, I was seeing a client for the second time. At 2pm, we re-confirmed that he was coming to my hotel room at 3pm.
At 2:30pm, 30min early, he knocks on my door. No warning. He just came to my door!
I had no makeup on, hair was a mess, my room was still a mess. NOT the impression I wanted to give!
What if I had a client leaving at that time???
I let him in, but I was pretty upset and felt like he violated my privacy.
He also took away my ability to WOW him when he comes in the door, which is something I take pride in.
On the other hand, I often have men text or email me that they're early and a couple blocks away. They're asking whether it's okay to be early.
I usually tell them I need more time. They respond "No problem" and go walk around the area until our appt time arrives.
That is no problem.
My ideal would be,
"Hey.. I'm 30 mins early. I'm around the corner at Starbucks. Let me know if you're ready early!"
All of this made me get a Starbucks. Lol. Like I need an excuse.
Thanks for the replies. Appreciate the variety of perspectives.
xx
I wait at a fast food joint or some other parking lot until 10 minutes till. I live in the middle of no where so I have to drive an hour to get to the my preferred city. Fight traffic and all that fun stuff. I guess sometimes it depends on the lady. If a guy has run across a few strict ones that your time start's at your scheduled time wouldn't you be a little early knowing the session has started no matter what. In my case if I leave my house to be there on time that means I will be at least 15-30 minutes late.
Clients should not be hanging out in the hotel or apartment complex until 10 no more than 15 minutes before. Find somewhere to pull over and wait.
Oh and ladies please do not keep us hanging out in the parking lot for 10-15 minutes after our scheduled time.
I don't quite understand the problem. Is he taking pictures of you while he is early or just in general arriving early?
1. If the visitor has never met you, how would the visitor recognize you?
2. Same with the hotel?
If you have already met then, what would be the danger?
10 minutes? Sure.. That's all good, but 30? Or more?
I am personally not comfortable with this as I can easily be walking around aside in my day to day clothes and am at a vulnerable place. I would suggest going to a Starbucks, pulling off and sending some work emails, whatever... Anything else besides sitting in the parking lot of where I am having my office for that day and letting me know that you are there 30 minutes early.
I know that it's a public area and anyone can be there, but I just wonder.. If I was going to your hotel and showed up early. What if I caught you mid private phone call outside sitting with a coworker?
I guess I just don't understand people showing up so early.
I appreciate others views, same and opposite of mine.
xo
1) i have photos online. they may blur my face, but they dont blur everything else. so if i am in public i am easily recognizable especially in a low traffic area where someones knows they are coming to meet an image that they have seen.
2) what do you mean same with the hotel?
3) its not DANGER. its respect. i am not 100% of the time alyssa.
in a perfect world men wouldnt walk up to a lady in public and address them as their escort name. but they do. all of the time.
men want discrection, right? how is this any different? its being respectful of my real world identity and being discreet of my escort world identity...
All of it seem to be a stretch but if men are not gentle men who doesn't know how to behave then it is crap shoot. I have ran into providers in hotels and public places and my rule is, if they make contact and say hi, I will say hi back if not, I mind my own business and walk away.
It is all matter of confidence, i.e., knowing how to react in a calm collected manner in every situation and not panicking.
... using common sense on both sides.
yes, the burden is on the guy (or gal) to arrive on time, but not too early.
often, I'll text the lady 5 minutes from the appointment time to let her know that I'm there. However, I make my text look like this: "I'm here now. Let me know when you are ready."
Now, what I have done is let her know that I am there and put the "ball in her court".
If she's late in responding back to me, then she can't blame me for being late.
10 minutes? Sure.. That's all good, but 30? Or more?
I am personally not comfortable with this as I can easily be walking around aside in my day to day clothes and am at a vulnerable place. I would suggest going to a Starbucks, pulling off and sending some work emails, whatever... Anything else besides sitting in the parking lot of where I am having my office for that day and letting me know that you are there 30 minutes early.
I know that it's a public area and anyone can be there, but I just wonder.. If I was going to your hotel and showed up early. What if I caught you mid private phone call outside sitting with a coworker?
I guess I just don't understand people showing up so early.
I appreciate others views, same and opposite of mine.
xo
What I don't understand is why is it a issue of arriving early. I mean if the guy is late for the appointment, some providers will make it such a big issue. However, I agreed about it's wrong going to the providers door early without notification. At the same token, the guy could be traveling a distance and certain factors might cause him to be early. Which leaves a question; why make it a big deal if the guy be like 20 to 30 minutes late?
someone is comparing being late to being early...
as mrfisher said, there is such a thing as "be on time."
Otherwise he didn't know proper etiquette either.
What a world we live in.
as mrfisher said, there is such a thing as "be on time."
he measures things in nautical miles. That throws his arrival time off a bit.
can we just "close" bob sugar instead of closing all of the threads that he vomits all over minute in and minute out?
im assuming that he has no friends or life nor skills to acquire either outside of ter... it seems the only way to end it is to just end him.
I sort of thought the same as you, but now he's become an acquired taste
i would have never survived in the 40s..
there is a difference between agreeing and disagreeing and having conversation and bob sugar.
Yep, that caps a full day for you sweetie!
begging TER to shut someone down, publicly or not, is really bad form? Not to mention it shows you simply can't handle him. Though with your continual retorts we already knew that.
Besides, as mrfisher said, some of us find him amusing. I'll admit he's an acquired taste.
Who could turn a simple thread into a "Why?", "I know but why"...dude needs a different hobby.
Never seen TERAdmis close 3 off threads because how it turned into some,"I know you are but what am I?
Guess you're just not so happy go lucky.
Thanks for playing.
Never seen TERAdmis close 3 off threads because how it turned into some,"I know you are but what am I?"
PS: This is a fuck board and it's OK to spell out Asshole. TERAdmin isn't going to wash out your mouth with soap. She's perfectly nice.
Let's see if this makes the headlines....if not then you suck.
Coming from you it's quite the compliment
Because you highlighted in your post that people being 30 mins early as a big deal. Not everything can be perfect in ideal world to just being just on time. People don't live at close proximity.
life is all about what you do while you are trying to "be perfect." :
However, you mentioned just be on time. If I am a boss, I would find that the guy is showing drive by arriving early and appreciate it instead of the person just dragging in just on time for work. That analogy meaning it isn't like the guy is being a no show or etc. I guess I don't find the big deal being early. Now the other things that you mentioned like pictures taking or just walking to your door, I understand and that is not right but just arrived early like 30 minutes should not be an issue.
A lot of employers don't want someone showing up early. Ten minutes to get situated, but my on the books job have a timeline to have the in flow and the out flow run smoothly.
I work in hospitality and we aren't allowed to clock in 15 mins prior and we have to leave when we clock out. If we have too many minutes on our check over our scheduled hours is not good.
I guess I still really respect what mr fishers therapist said.
Don't be late.
Don't be early.
Just be on time.
Thanks for your opinion. I enjoy conversation like this.
-- Modified on 8/21/2015 5:18:18 PM
I can kind of understand about that based upon your field you work in, but certain jobs prefer earlier. Like the saying goes, the early bird catches the worm. if you go to the movies, do you just want to be on the dot or early to get the best seats? There are certain factors that is involved.
are you comparing getting a good seat at the movies to showing up to an event that doesn't rely upon first come first served?
the main focus of here is respect of privacy. respect of real life and escort life.
if you told me to call you at 4:30 to confirm our date and you happened to leave your phone on and i call you at 6:30 and youre in the middle of dinner... ooooooops... if i dont call you at 4:30, i can send you a discreet email saying, "sorry, lost track of time, please call when you can." just like if you make it over in record time you can send a text saying, "made it super early. I'm down the street at starbucks. let me know when youre ready."
anyway, this is now becoming so far away from what it originally started as. i love coffee, i have no interest in going to the movie theatre.
If the early bird catches the worm, then it is equally true that the early worm gets eaten.
Getting eaten that is
In this scenario, I think if the client wants his, umm, worm, properly cared for, he might be wise not to make the lady feel uncomfortable by arriving too early.
I need to get that printed on a t-shirt.
Unless the worm being late getting back to it's hole was the reason it got caught by the early bird. Just sayin'
I know that we will not all agree and thanks for most of all of the participation ...even the childish comments, you serve your purpose. I couldn't read Jacks because he's on my ignore. I'm sure they were worthless anyway.
Anyway, I found this. And I like it.
Goodnight!
My incall is a private apt. It's a 2 bedroom and not shared with anyone else. I have a gate at the entrance that requires a code for entry. I've had several gents over the years not call as specifically stated in directions, just follow someone through the gate and linger in my complex. It's extremely off putting. It draws attention and puts me on guard as I am very discreet.
Bored people pay attention to lingering people around their home. I don't want or need that attention at my incall. Any of my repeat clients pulling that bs will not get through my door.
I appreciate you bringing this up
... I have to call you while I am waiting at the gate.
what if there was a car behind me and I'm holding up the cars while waiting for you to answer... if you do at all?
I bet most clients went behind someone to avoid drawing attention to themselves at the gate waiting for you.
Just saying...
Bored people pay attention to lingering people around their home. I don't want or need that attention at my incall. Any of my repeat clients pulling that bs will not get through my door.
I appreciate you bringing this up
That's why my directions clearly state to call 5 minutes prior to your arrival they already know the gate code at that point if they can follow simple directions. Unbelievable how difficult that is for some! As I stated, repeat clients know and understand this. If they can't seem to follow my rules, no go. I'm a little lenient with new clients, but don't appreciate them not willing or capable of following SIMPLE instructions
on whether the gent and I have discussed the possibility of coming early or not...generally at the time of the last touch base, I will mention and sometimes be asked about this. I try not to book tightly so that there is no rush factor and to keep my day free to be sensually more present. Talking to my kids before I meet with someone can be a big buzz kill...ya know?
If not discussed, I don't mind getting a text that says the arrival time turned out earlier than planned...do you want to start earlier or should I get lost for a while until the original time. It can work for me too so no loss on the gents part to give it a shot.
What I don't like is a gentleman who feels entitled to come early...who wants to know the whys that I cannot flex my schedule for him. Sometimes all good plans laid a lady is with another man and cannot accommodate an early arrival (or a late one either) without it being awkward...the ruffled feathers or jealous approach or checking to see "my security" etc all feel like an invasion of me. That being said, I try to remain tolerant...we all walk our own journey in our head to stay physically and emotionally safe so I deep breathe when it feels uncomfortable.
if my phone is on vibrate and my grams calls, i will always answer. same with my mom. thats the golden rule that i just dont break. but i am able to snap in to alyssa mode in half an hour. its easy for me to do that. which is kinda why i like that half an hour...
even if its not talking to someone in your family, we all have a personal space that we do things in.. what if you happen to be running in from eating a sandwich and you take that last bite and you spill mustard on your shirt? lol.. of course you can laugh it off, i dont take life that seriously, but mw in my "go get a sandwich" clothes now with yellow all down the front of them is not the way i want someone to see me as i pull in. lol.
i always give myself time to shower, do a cartwheel, check the stock market and have a coffee.. with giving the gent a 10 minute window.. i like this quote from that etiquette page,
"Also remember that it’s never okay to be early to a shower (or dinner party, or cocktail hour), unless you’re part of the set-up crew. It puts more pressure on a host, as she’ll feel as if she needs to start entertaining while still finishing last-minute details before the party."
and lastly, its not so much the showing up early, its what they do while they are waiting. you posted in another reply to just not linger in the parking lot or the lobby, and thats my exact thing here. go to the 7-11 and sit in their parking lot with a magazine.
have a good day!
Hmmm, I'm going to agree with the guy who takes his therapist's advice of "just be right on time."
If you want your appointment at 7pm, book it for 7pm, and I'll be ready at 7pm.
If you want your appointment at 6:45pm, book it for 6:45pm, and I'll be ready at 6:45pm. And so on and so on...
I, personally, do not give out my room number until the minutes leading up to the appointment.
When I arrive at an outcall early, I have no problem killing time in my car or even the hotel bathroom/lounge fixing my hair or makeup until it's time to play.
Depending on the travel time and the possibility of traffic issues I tend to show up a few minutes early. Sitting in the parking lot waiting can draw unwanted attention where sitting in the hotel lobby either reading or texting looks very normal.
...the time we agreed on. And should NOT get huffy because they for example came at 5pm but we agreed on 5:30....drive around or go to a bar or store or something and find something to do that's NOT waiting in your car or sitting right in the lobby (unless it's a super busy lobby).
Because traffic in DC/Baltimore can be problematic, I often end up giving myself plenty of time and then arriving 30 minutes or more ahead of time. When I do, I'll often send a quick text saying something like:
No traffic. I am in the area if you wanted to meet earlier. I'll hang out at Starbucks and text back at [scheduled time].
I always thought giving her the option was a nice thing to do. Perhaps she's already ready, and would like that extra time afterwards to get on the road herself, or respond to another appointment request, or just have a little more time after this appointment before the next.
I've heard some complain on the boards about it, but most providers I've talked to in person tend to appreciate getting the option, as long as they don't feel like they are being rushed.