After years of a tortuous and unfulfilling marriage (that I stuck with largely from a sense of duty and obligation - to her and to the kids), I have now been unattached for several years.
At this point in my life, the last thing I want is to take on another woman. But I'm not ready to give up on having fun. I love nice dinners, rock concerts, amusement parks, festivals, museums, etc., etc., etc. And its much more enjoyable to go out with a lady than it is to go alone. I have lots of opportunities to date civvies. I get lots of subtle (and not so subtle) hints from acquaintances (even from some of my ex's closest friends) and I also get blind date propositions from friends and family. The problem is that unmarried middle age women almost invariably are hoping for more of an ongoing relationship than I am willing to offer. I understand that - I hate to reject them or hurt their feelings - and its hard to really let loose and have a good time with those awkward undercurrents always present. So ... I see escorts. And I have come to love this world. At the same time, I refuse, on principal, to pay escort rates for time spent out at dinners or other activities. My solution has been to book at least 2 hour dates, at the escort's regular rates, plus some small premium, and ask for an OTC dinner (or something else fun) first. She gets paid up front and both of us are free to cancel the date at any time if we don't hit it off. That increases the risk of getting ripped off - but I've only been ripped off a very few times in over 5 years of hobbying. So ... yes Bob ... I do pay some extra $ for dinner/drinks/etc ... on almost every date. And no GaG ... I don't pay their full rates for this time. And to all who keep making this argument on these boards all the time ... the one thing I have never felt ... is SAD.I do agree that the wham bam sex gets boring after awhile and I am not interested in the drama that SB/SD might bring. So why not get the best of both worlds... What about a pro offering a date without sex... Before all of you guys/gals tear me a new one just hear me out. What if a pro offer to see someone on a date say a 2hr minimum but on the 1hr rate (50% off their normal P4P rate but no BJ or sex).
Pros for the guys -
> the ones that want puppy love or a connection can use this to build on a relationship before doing the BCD session.
>you can actually meet the provider to see if you want to have a BCD session with her.
>you can get that tingling SB/SD feeling one session at a time and you can cut it off anytime you want.
>for some guys the emotional connection lasts longer then the sex part & this would be perfect for that.
Cons for the guys -
>no BJ or sex, but you knew that going in. BJ or sex is optional with her regular rate later on if you choose.
Pros for the gals -
>you actually get to see the john first hand and decide if you want to have a P4P session with him next time. I am sure that providers have open the hotel room at a regular incall session and thought " Oh shit, I hope the next hr goes by really fast. LOL"
>On your down time, you get to go on a date/semi-work and get paid. " Providers should not have to fake this, just be yourself and not be rude." Just hang out with a potential client having a meal, movie, whatever.
>Is a good way for you to see if you have chemistry with the guy. If you do, the P4P regular session should be that much better for both parties.
Cons for the gals -
>This would still be semi-work for some providers. I dare to say that this would be harder work that the sex part (but that depends on personality and attitude of the provider).
>The money is not as good, but then again you are not fucking. Dare I say some johns would think paying 50% is too much for no sex.
What do you guys think?
What do you providers think?
Can I call this a hybrid S/B session
Paying anyone just to have dinner/drinks is really the epitome of sad. Do you NOT have anyone in your life that you can call and get to go with you?
In lieu of a human...take your dog to a dog park. Rent a kid too. Women love that shit. Won't cost you anything that way either...aside from the dog...and the kid rental LOL
Pros for the guys -
> the ones that want puppy love or a connection can use this to build on a relationship before doing the BCD session.
>you can actually meet the provider to see if you want to have a BCD session with her.
>you can get that tingling SB/SD feeling one session at a time and you can cut it off anytime you want.
>for some guys the emotional connection lasts longer then the sex part & this would be perfect for that.
Cons for the guys -
>no BJ or sex, but you knew that going in. BJ or sex is optional with her regular rate later on if you choose.
Pros for the gals -
>you actually get to see the john first hand and decide if you want to have a P4P session with him next time. I am sure that providers have open the hotel room at a regular incall session and thought " Oh shit, I hope the next hr goes by really fast. LOL"
>On your down time, you get to go on a date/semi-work and get paid. " Providers should not have to fake this, just be yourself and not be rude." Just hang out with a potential client having a meal, movie, whatever.
>Is a good way for you to see if you have chemistry with the guy. If you do, the P4P regular session should be that much better for both parties.
Cons for the gals -
>This would still be semi-work for some providers. I dare to say that this would be harder work that the sex part (but that depends on personality and attitude of the provider).
>The money is not as good, but then again you are not fucking. Dare I say some johns would think paying 50% is too much for no sex.
What do you guys think?
What do you providers think?
Can I call this a hybrid S/B session?
Where are the people to jump all over you when you say paying for dinner dates or overnights is sad? I got cremated for saying that about a month ago.
Why aren't you there too?
usually be able to hang out with in real life.
I went to dinner the other night with one of my longest known clients and I rarely see him. Maybe 1X a year. He's an incredibly hot 50 y/o Brit and I love the angry looks we get from all the divorcees and cougars who would be all over that if he was alone
-- Modified on 8/17/2015 4:49:46 PM
Hopefully you did..that would be nice too.
I'm sure he didn't have to pay you just to see you...that would be incredibly sad to hear LOL
I went to dinner whe other night with one of my longest known clients and I rarely see him. Maybe 1X a year. He's an incredibly hot 50 y/o Brit and I love the angry looks we get from all the divorcees and cougars who would be all over him if he was alone
And You?
Yes. There are people in this world who have no one.
You heartless price of shit..
No wonder you can never be fulfilled by sex....
I know of guys who pay a gal over 60 to go to dinner. No sex. Just dinner. Full rate. One wanted to take her home to meet his family. The definition of sad. She laughed at them. And took their money.
After years of a tortuous and unfulfilling marriage (that I stuck with largely from a sense of duty and obligation - to her and to the kids), I have now been unattached for several years.
At this point in my life, the last thing I want is to take on another woman.
But I'm not ready to give up on having fun.
I love nice dinners, rock concerts, amusement parks, festivals, museums, etc., etc., etc. And its much more enjoyable to go out with a lady than it is to go alone.
I have lots of opportunities to date civvies. I get lots of subtle (and not so subtle) hints from acquaintances (even from some of my ex's closest friends) and I also get blind date propositions from friends and family. The problem is that unmarried middle age women almost invariably are hoping for more of an ongoing relationship than I am willing to offer. I understand that - I hate to reject them or hurt their feelings - and its hard to really let loose and have a good time with those awkward undercurrents always present.
So ... I see escorts. And I have come to love this world.
At the same time, I refuse, on principal, to pay escort rates for time spent out at dinners or other activities.
My solution has been to book at least 2 hour dates, at the escort's regular rates, plus some small premium, and ask for an OTC dinner (or something else fun) first. She gets paid up front and both of us are free to cancel the date at any time if we don't hit it off. That increases the risk of getting ripped off - but I've only been ripped off a very few times in over 5 years of hobbying.
So ... yes Bob ... I do pay some extra $ for dinner/drinks/etc ... on almost every date.
And no GaG ... I don't pay their full rates for this time.
And to all who keep making this argument on these boards all the time ... the one thing I have never felt ... is SAD.
I think you have it working just fine.
My approach is only slightly different. I rarely pay for any "outside" activities, but then again since I obviously don't get OTC from every woman I see, it's hit and miss for me, while for you it's negotiated time that you can count on. Slightly different approaches, but neither jumps out at me as "wrong"
Some guys look at any "outside" or nonsexual time with a hooker as SAD, I call bullshit, like you I enjoy a good meal etc etc with the company of a fine woman. That said, I only enjoy the company of a woman if I think she actually wants to be there. I know a lot of women will endure almost anything for their full rate, my rationale is that if I don't pay her, or if I only pay her a pittance, she must enjoy my company at least a little bit or she'd never agree to go with me in the first place.
Your solution sounds good too, I am sure some of your dates last only 2 hours and 5 minutes while others last all night, depending on how you hit it off, only you get the agreement up front that you will be doing at least "something" together besides fucking. I think that sounds like a good trade off, and it sounds far from SAD to me.
My approach is only slightly different. I rarely pay for any "outside" activities, but then again since I obviously don't get OTC from every woman I see, it's hit and miss for me, while for you it's negotiated time that you can count on. Slightly different approaches, but neither jumps out at me as "wrong"
but if I ever become an old fuck who can no longer get it up, I 'might" consider surrounding myself with young hotties (at a price) to make myself feel better, and I wouldn't give a fuck if some guy on the internet thought I was "sad"
Not to mention that to some of those "silicon valley geeks" a thousand bucks is of no more consequence than a dollar is to the rest of us. I will save my pity for the poor sap who has to save up to go on one of those kind of sexless "dates". Now THAT is sad.
I was told they were in their 40's/50's. Not that old. Regardless of how "wealthy" they may be, I find it sad. Regardless of what you are spending , if you have to "save up" to hobby it means you can't afford it. That's sad too
She can still sit on your face. I assume that's still better than paying her to go to dinner with you. And I agree zguy seems to be doing it right. Or at least the way I do. So it must be right. Because I'm always right. Just ask TERAdmin, LOL!
If I wanted a "real" date, that's what I would do, and I go on a lot of "real" dates with hookers. I call them "sex optional" dates where it's not expected or required that we have sex, but if we end up in bed of our mutual desires, than I am hardly going to say no. The amount I am willing to pay for that kind of date for the lady's "time" is $0.00. I just don't need company that bad to have to pay for it. NSA sex is well worth the money to me, but "company", as many others have said "go buy a dog"
-- Modified on 8/17/2015 5:36:46 PM
Maybe we should try Portillo's....great Polish sausage there.
i see delirium is setting in..
As have I,
I know L.Guapo/LondonRaine IRL, talk about the HORROR. lol
Like you..L.Guapo and LR. I think there might be a bunch of others in that "horror" list as well...some are on hiatus...others still lurking.
I think VC is just pissed that he wasn't invited to go out for a delicious Polish sausage
I know L.Guapo/LondonRaine IRL, talk about the HORROR. lol
It's hard to claim that someone has ZERO cred when well known people here admit to knowing you IRL.
Just like poor little LWAM (Last Word Allysa Marie) would love to claim that no one knows me, I don't go to Costa Rica, I don't fuck hookers and everything I say here is a lie. Unfortunately for her, I am too lazy to lie, and there are enough people who know me IRL for her to convince anyone that I am a 21 century Walter Mitty.
Did you at least save VC some Polish sausage.
Actually one of them is a mod on here...pathetic as that may be.
As for saving any Polish for VC...no way. And after the great dinner at Portillo's...I'll bet that I can persuade Courtney with a Grande at Starbucks. Even after noon 
Just like poor little LWAM (Last Word Allysa Marie) would love to claim that no one knows me, I don't go to Costa Rica, I don't fuck hookers and everything I say here is a lie. Unfortunately for her, I am too lazy to lie, and there are enough people who know me IRL for her to convince anyone that I am a 21 century Walter Mitty.
Did you at least save VC some Polish sausage.
But it's fun to watch, then send you home lol!
Like some people
I thought I'd save something for those who feel bad about how coffee can be ruined.
I still like the raspberry lemonades. Isn't that an oxymoron?
If you ask nice maybe they'll change your diaper tonight.
Sounds like you just had an "idea" but have never done it. Beside the fact that it's rather "sad" like many have posted I think if you somehow get to do it you'll find out how unfulfilling and underwhelm that experience going to be. It's because you're just "renting" a date not unlike hiring someone to be a date -regardless of your mutual feelings and chemistries.
A much better idea is to approach a regular/ATF someone who you already got along great and who appreciates your business.
That's exactly what I have done on occasions. Offering to take them out to dinner or movie AFTER or BEFORE a date where I simply pay regular normal donation. Meaning the extra companionship time is FREE... and the enjoyment is genuine and mutual
If she doesn't explicitly offer it on her website, you can always inquire. No biggie.