So.. I know you come to us to have fun. Well, the most of you do...
We aren't your mommies or someone who ever yells at you..
But....
What would you like us to do if you come over and have
A) horrible breath?
B) horrible smells in any other area?
I always have mouthwash, gum and mints lying around.
I also always have a fresh bar of soap and a clean towel lying out.
Do you expect us to just "deal with it?"
I would find it a mood killer to say, "would you like a mint?" after we kissed..
On humid hot days I always suggest a shower. I usually ask if one needs to freshen up..
I know there are some people who just do not go to the dentist, but what about the person who has a sandwich with onion, garlic, pepper, tuna...
What about the guy who thinks because he was just at a desk all day that the shower at 10pm the night before keeps him sex fresh at 6pm?
I would really like to know ways to approach this as to not hurt anyone's feelings or ruin the mood.
It really helps to kiss better.
It really helps to give enthusiastic blowjobs.
All serious suggestions on how to handle this are greatly appreciated!
x
But I would most likely go the route of offering the mints, a shower and if none of that was taken, tell him to leave and feign illness. Caveat: if I can smell something really bad from his person, I will feign illness and get him the fuck out ...no quick shower or breath mint will cover that up.
Telling a john he stinks most likely will not bode too well for the hooker.
It reminds me of a post a while ago about some filthy old coot who wore depends and showered every 2 days and only changed the depends twice a day. He complained that his experiences with hookers was sub par...what a fucking surprise...made me laugh.
He reeked and one hooker he saw told him he had bad hygiene and to shower. He got pissy (pun intended) and gave her a shit review.
Ask yourself if the horror or vomit inducing factor is worth the money.
virtually every Kgirl session starts with a shower and a mutual toast with mouth wash. Even the guys that don't "get it" can't find fault if you do that same ritual with every guy.
I will grant you though. There is a reason hookers get paid the money you do. Having to fuck an old fat broad with bad breath and nastiness oozing out of every crevice would make my career as a male escort a very short one
Like the rest of "us" successful entrepreneurs we'd have learned long ago how to take care of those issues. Why h+t seems to attract the oldest, ugliest and fattest...oh, and disgustingly smelly ones...is beyond my comprehension.
I think that maybe some of these hookers who just can't figure this game out should sign up for the Bob.Sugar Hookernomics 101 and Hookernomics 102 classes today.
That program has graduated thousands now...none of them have to post on here complaining of those disgusting souls roaming the earth. And for the next 50 hookers to sign up...a wonderful toaster oven is our gift to them.
I will grant you though. There is a reason hookers get paid the money you do. Having to fuck an old fat broad with bad breath and nastiness oozing out of every crevice would make my career as a male escort a very short one
Even from his own self-serving perspective he sounded disgusting. He had some nerve giving her shitty scores just because she didn't want his urine in her mouth. I even told her not to worry about it, since most guys would read that and be happy that she has basic hygiene standards. Shudder.
All he had to say was that is was his "squirt" and she would have lapped it right up.
At least that's what the johns do, so I figure you hookers are down with it too. LOL
Given how much I enjoy kissing I have to admit when I see a review describing rimming prowess I'm not exactly ringing her phone off the hook. Oh and FYI, a hook is a thing phones used to hang on. 
So the sign actually hangs over the appropriate area that's closed for business.
There's really not much you can do about the slobs if they can't take a strong hint or let you bathe them. You just have to let go of the "chemistry"-aspect, risk the bad review, and either go through the motions or kick him out. Another customer will come along; you'll burn yourself out by grinning and bearing it too often.
but it's probably a no-win. Anyone with at least a few firing synapses should know not to show up funky and expect a great time, so someone who does probably isn't going to take hints or suggestion very well. I make sure to have fresh breath and unless I've showered within the hour I take one as soon as I arrive. Not doing everything possible to make it easy, and hopefully enjoyable, for her to do her job strikes me as the epitome of idiocy. But then some people act like dicks in restaurants and believe their steaks aren't sitting on a nice big phlegm wad, so there's no accounting for stupid.
Bad habits like no being hiegiene just doesn't go away because someone asked you to brush teeth and take shower. If it worked then you wouldn't have the problem to begin with.
Being that said, a provider has completely right when they refuse.
Another temporary solution may to put brushing teeth, clipping nails, washing hair and taking bath etc., on the web site under "before we meet" section and put disclaimer stating, if you don't, service may be refused.
expecting great service from a hooker when you are just "stankin nasty" makes about as much sense as chewing out your wait staff "before" getting your food
Say I ate a tuna sandwich for lunch then a friend asks if I can meet after.. I can rinse my mouth and brush my teeth, but that breath can still linger..
I would honestly say something like, "sure! But let's start detoxing my mouth. I just took the last bite of a tuna sandwich!"
I guess that's part of my quirky personality..
Once a guy said to me, "crap I ate onion for lunch.. I can still taste it!" And I said, "oh crap! I ate onion for lunch too... " then we decided to run downstairs to his hotel lobby and get a pack of mentos each and continue, lol... (All in good humor of course).
I'm able to kiss someone with a tuna tasting mouth.. It's just not as freaking awesome as I'm able to kiss someone with fresh breath. It's darn near impossible to kiss someone who tastes like they just came from an overcrowded glory hole.
you can thank me later 
Eggys boyfriend is quite the clever one!
Either that, or great troll..
Whichever, it's funny.
Problem is.. Now do I ask a man if he wants to have a snowball? I live in Maryland, he would probably ask which flavor.
🎶Just sing to him!🎶
Either that, or great troll..
Whichever, it's funny.
Problem is.. Now do I ask a man if he wants to have a snowball? I live in Maryland, he would probably ask which flavor.
Sometimes I want to lift some of my friends' steaks and spit on it myself. The way some people treat servers, (usually at lower end places like pancake houses. Etc) is humiliating to me, and risks my food too. What kind of friend is that? Lol
I had a BSC female friend who would yell through the intercom at the employees taking her order, I don't like fast food to begin with, and I would NEVER eat any of the food she would order after calling the kid who took her/our order a moron. lol
And am always nice to the barista's. But you go and ruin a great coffee...cream..Sugar.
Unfortunately, I can't quite get it this sexy
I used to have to accompany my boss to dinner and he was one the "look at me, I'm the center of the world and you should be thrilled to wait on me" kinda customers... Made me want to hide in the coat room.
Back during the Pleistocene when I was a pre-teen, I was being snotty to a sales clerk while buying a soda. She stopped everything, quit working and looked me in the eye and told me "I hope someday when you are older you have to work this side of the counter and get a customer just like you." Then proceeded with the transaction. I still remember that rebuke and I still live in fear of getting a customer just like me.
Generally, it is Yes or No situation. Those have personal hiegiene and take personal pride in it will always follow good hiegiene. Those who don't have it will always fall back to their bad habits.
They were not taught by their mothers so, no one can teach them.
But then you're one of the thousands of gals who have successfully completed the Bob.Sugar accredited classes in "How to be a successful Hooker".
We're temporarily out of 24ct gold...but shortly you and your sisters will all be getting this lovely diploma. And the next 500 applicants will get a wonderful toaster oven for signing up.
These were a limited time only with memberships. But the Solo Flex machine is a wonderful gift. I think that with each one there is also a lovely gal to demonstrate whatever you need. You wanted the big boobs blonde...right?
but I'm sure you get the occasional one that lacks maturity 
on taking a shower upon arrival and another before I leave...
Please have soap, shampoo, and a towel on hand, I will use the same towel before and after..
As for GaG's recommended mouthwash toast, I'm ok with that but I prefer Patron Tequila
You need to get introduced to Mezcal, mi amigo. !
This question goes without saying to both provider and client that cleanliness is not an option, it is required. I have been with a few providers that had breath similar to a sewer and other areas that smelled like a farm animal and unfortunately this doesn't come to light until it is too late.
I think the people who are not conscious about others in this hygiene topic are not conscious about other things in life as well. In other words A person who doesn't care if they stink also doesn't care if they say something offensive, or cut in front of you at the cash register, or drive slow in the left lane on the interstate, or try to negotiate a low price and expect perfection in return.
These people do not care whatsoever in regards to being offensive or rude, however you would be the rude one in their disabled minds if you point anything out to them. Studies have shown that 1 in 5 people are unconscious to others. They do not care! Literally.
I want you to enjoy yourself as much as possible and if my hygine is off that would be much more difficult. So speak politely, plainly, and honestly to me about the problem and I would do what I can to fix the problem. It would be embarrassing but better than nor knowing and making your time with me horrible.
I would not ask them if they want to freshen up - I would tell them how much you like it when they freshen up before a date and ask them if they'd do it for you? Asking if they'd do it for you will insure success in 99.9% of the cases - I have found when something is a personal request like 'could you please do that for me' that rarely does anyone except my soon to be ex-wife say 'no' so unless you are seeing my wife it should work just fine with no one getting insulted.
One mistake I've made, and still do, is trying to be and sound too fair. But a lot of people like to give and do good for others. If you let them know they are being a blessing, and making a difference for someone else, (a girl,) sometimes that goes a lot further than telling them doing it will help them in this way or that way. That usually results in a, "no thanks, I'm fine."
There are a very select few who may have a life mission to take and the thought of doing good to others is repulsive... But you can usually detect that during email correspondence.
I cringe when providers tell me they "just ate" before our date because I know I won't be kissing much. I keep a supply of extra, new, tootle brushes in my bathroom drawer. To date, I've only had one provider take me up on my offer. I also keep "girly" body washes on hand and I've offered my shower more than once. I think the problem is I ask instead of suggesting, but how do you "suggest" that someone shower without offending them? I guess the answer is, ask to shower together! Providers could "take matters into their own hands" and wash clients a little more than they normally do - hint: guys, use a washcloth to wash your junk otherwise you're just moving funk around and NOT washing it away. Just my 2 copper coins.
We aren't your mommies or someone who ever yells at you..
But....
What would you like us to do if you come over and have
A) horrible breath?
B) horrible smells in any other area?
I always have mouthwash, gum and mints lying around.
I also always have a fresh bar of soap and a clean towel lying out.
Do you expect us to just "deal with it?"
I would find it a mood killer to say, "would you like a mint?" after we kissed..
On humid hot days I always suggest a shower. I usually ask if one needs to freshen up..
I know there are some people who just do not go to the dentist, but what about the person who has a sandwich with onion, garlic, pepper, tuna...
What about the guy who thinks because he was just at a desk all day that the shower at 10pm the night before keeps him sex fresh at 6pm?
I would really like to know ways to approach this as to not hurt anyone's feelings or ruin the mood.
It really helps to kiss better.
It really helps to give enthusiastic blowjobs.
All serious suggestions on how to handle this are greatly appreciated!
xo
I once had a session with a provider that completely reeked of garlic. She must have eaten a ton of it earlier that day. She was gorgeous and very good at her job so I didn't say anything to her but it was a struggle at times.
This is exactly what I mean...
I don't mean the lazy, dirty clothed, nasty person who you don't want to imagine what they house looks like..
I mean the person who seems to have it all together..
They are dressed nice, they are polite.... BUT they just aren't super fresh that day.
I know you will always have the slobs and then the ones who don't want to take away what they consider a valuable minute by "paying x per minute" to shower...
I mean the ones that you are pretty sure they are having an off day. How can you politely hand them a mint to be able to make the date go much better without hurting ones feelings...
xx
These things are miraculous!
-- Modified on 8/5/2015 2:20:20 PM
...the cdc and just about all other health organizations recommend not brushing your teeth or flossing 2 hours before or after unprotected oral sex. Brushing your teeth causes micro-abrasions and micro cuts on the gums and tongue, and these could lead to easier STI transmission via oral sex.
That's probably why not many providers have actually taken you up on the offer. Mouthwash on the other hand, is a different story.
as long as the taint is faint...
I had to tell one guy to get lost several times, because his hygiene become so poor that I cut all ties with him. I never had this issue with my older clientele. When he realized I was serious, he texted and called me dozens of times a day for a week! I didn't have call blocking at the time and never replied back. I require all my clients to shower before things get started.
weather I need it or not. I think the act of using the shower is telling the provider that I value our time together & I want to be squeaky clean and enjoyable for both of us, I also use the mouth-wash provided ( & I bring my own trial size just in-case ) and I use try to use the same towel before and after the session (unless it is really soaked from the session). This should also includes trimming your nails-hands & feet, shave your privates the day before, and shave your face the day of. This is just my routine.
Back to the OP, for the really sticky clients, I would definitely use the K-girl method and shower together. Saying something like " hey I love rubbing up on a men like in the middle of a rain storm and add that "don't worry this is my fantasy and shower time is OTC. I honestly think that the biggest reason that guys don't shower is that they are afraid that the 10minute shower is him getting short-change on the hour. So take your pick ladies, try to endure the hour with the stinky pig or give him the extra 10minutes and scrub him clean. After the shower, I would use mouth wash on myself and hand him one that you just pour out ( by then most johns will just follow your lead). I would then add " Thank you for that and now let's have some fun in a really sexy way so he would forget "what just happen". Another reason that clients don't shower might be that the bathroom/shower is gross. That is something that you ladies need to keep checking, just like there are some stinky clients out there, there are some providers that could use some help ( but I find that very rare- but I am sure it happens) BTW, a tangent to this subject is that for the ladies: please try to organize the sink counter of your bathroom or better yet, try to put things away. I once saw a women at her incall hotel. The bathroom had a double sink and she has crap all over it. Literally a dozen make-up cases, a bunch of different size brushes for the make up I guess, a bunch of nail polishes, a half dozen lip sticks, hair dryer, hair crimp-er, bra, stockings, advil, some prescription meds, a travel bag, tooth brush, tooth paste, perfume, deodorant, glasses, the free newspaper that the hotel gives out, and I was like WTF. I literally was looking through what she had on the table and was especially interested in what kind of meds she was taking...( I want to make sure that she was not on psychotic meds LOL - it might seem funny now, but it wasn't then )I should of taken a picture seriously. Needless to say that was not one of my best session in this hobby.
to admit you went through a provider's stuff while using her bathroom. Would you do that in someone's home? They are people, you know, not fembots. Rather creepy, don't you think?
That's pretty classless, man.
What if she was taking psychotropic meds? Just because a provider takes them doesn't mean she's crazy. I know of several that do and they've been stable for many years. Just sayin'.
I never leave my personal items out, maybe my makeup, toothpaste and toothbrush...but everything else goes into either my bag or the dresser.
people take psych medicine to live with their psych problems.
everyone has a little bit of crazy. its the ones who ignore it that are the problem.
And taking a picture of her real name on the scripts? You may want to change some things up about your practices. That is indiscreet, and stalker-ish. Exposing real information, medical information, etc.
She should have kept the temptation out of reach too. But wow.
They were jagged, knerled. Gross... I was also a smoker!
I never knew how offensive I was until I stopped smoking, and got braces..
I guess my point is.. Please try to forgive some of those people.
They don't know they stink so bad... Those who do?
They feel shitty.
People who smoke, can't smell themselves.
Before going to see anyone...shower, shave, shit, piss, etc. Only the former should be part of your meeting, as it is fun to shower with the ladies if they are into it.
I haven't really had to deal w poor hygiene, I always have a shower available and most anyone not coming straight from home either showeres or washes when they arrive. If I thought is was going to be an issue I'd suggest we shower as I'm grabbing his hand and leading him to the shower. Kinda hard from him to say no at that point ha-ha.
Unfortunately not everyone does enough, or any grooming. Your going to have a much better experience if you clean up, I don't like hair stuck in my teeth!
On the flip side I very much appreciate finding a fresh wascloth laid out for me in the bathroom when I come to you outcall. I always keep wipes, toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash and sometimes a washcloth with me but I appreciate the thought when you provide it. I'm pretty conscious of my cleanliness and try to be as fresh as possible. This is also why I don't really like people showing up at my incall even a few min early. I time it so that I'm just finishing cleaning up as the appointment is supposed to start.