I am looking for high quality reading that challenges and broadens the mind on sexuality, especially alternative ways of looking at relationships, discovering and understanding how to meet our individual sexual needs and how to balance it within the demands of living in a sexually conservative society. Of particular interest is building a framework of thinking around this that is healthy and empowering, not filled with guilt, shame, doubts or cognitive dissonance with the need to compartmentalise etc. But lately I have been wondering that maybe deciet is necessary since most people can't handle the truth, especially in intimate relationships where so much is at stake - there are writings to this end.
So anyway, suggestions for reading along these lines would be greatly appreciated.
If anyone is interested I can PM them a list of books I have already.
Dear Jennesequoi,
Certain writers are interesting:
Judith Levine
Kristin Luker
Alfred Kinsey (yes, a must)
Jack Morin - my fave
Then there's the self help types like Esther Perel...the list is pretty exhaustive. Start with Jack Morin and see who he is referencing..
Good luck,
the Love Goddess
Thank you LG! I knew you would have a wonderful treasure chest of suggestions.
"Can Love Last?" by Stephen Mitchell
it's been a number of years since I read this. As I recall it's more focused on relationship dynamics than sexuality specifically---but your comment about the fear of honesty when so much is at stake brought this to mind.
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers, by Margot Anand.
The author is European and brings an alternative approach to intimacy that you don't often encounter in most American writers. This book is particularly well suited to couples seeking to be more open with each other, both emotionally and physically. While it's centered around Tantra, the author also spends a lot of time on related subjects like opening lines of communication between partners and enhancing trust etc.
I'll admit, I'm not really a big Tantra enthusiast, but after I learned the technique of male multiple orgasms from another (non-Tantra source), I decided to read this book to round out my education on the subject from a different perspective. I found it to be very worthwhile, but that is a very subjective assessment and is highly dependent on what you're looking for and also what your starting point is.
Naturally, if you're in a relationship and want to change the direction of that relationship, your partner also needs to share that objective in order for this, or any other book to be beneficial. Even so, I read it while in between relationships and still found it useful from a personal growth POV.
Try "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt