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Re: ...I suppose because she liked me? It was her idea, not mine. One detail that may blow your mind
camote16 34 Reviews 334 reads
posted

Curious, what arrangement did you offer an did she accept?

Posted By: cocktail-party
When I asked her how much she wanted for the arrangement, she said "I don't know, you decide." Which may have been a good move on her part - she probably got more out of me than if we negotiated it out (and she wasn't above asking for $ when she had an unexpected expense).

Oldtimemonger1870 reads

How Many Of You have arrangements? Are they with civilians or escorts? How often do you see your arrangement partner? Would you say the sex is "off the hook?" With arrangements it's Bareback all the way for me. I've had a vasectomy so no need for lectures. I'm not starting another BBFS thread.

 
I have been working out arrangements since 2007. My current one is with a grad student. She is not an escort or sex worker. I check them out with a PI before making any commitments. I even taught my lawyer how to do it. I used to use the old CL and then started using SA.  My current arrangement has lasted 2.5 years.  I still see a limited amount of escorts for variety.

Any comments welcome. Note: Some call it SD/SB. I've never liked "Sugardaddy." That's why I call them arrangements.

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cocktail-party888 reads

We found that we simply enjoyed each other's company and rather than pay per hour, it was just easier for both of us for me to pay a periodic flat rate for however much time we spent together. I very much appreciated that coming from the escort world, she respected clear boundaries.  

I've dabbled with the SB sites a bit and it gave me a greater appreciation for what the ladies here go through. I encountered plenty of fakes, flakes and wasted a lot of time trying to get things started. I live in an area with several major universities, so I thought there would be SBs a plenty but not so. The ones who knew what they were doing wanted a ridiculous amount of $ and the ones who didn't required more handholding than I was willing to indulge. There are a shit ton of desperate housewives, but I'm wary of potential complications with that.

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Oldtimemonger640 reads

ersonally , I stay away from girls who are just desperate. I have no desire to step into a train wreck. I've found that a good relationship with their parents is important. If they find out who you are (if you are together a long time sooner or later they will) they won't out you because they sure as hell don't want their parents to know

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JohnyComeAlready609 reads

but why would a woman want to do that?

Seems as if she is giving up potential income.

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cocktail-party623 reads

When I asked her how much she wanted for the arrangement, she said "I don't know, you decide." Which may have been a good move on her part - she probably got more out of me than if we negotiated it out (and she wasn't above asking for $ when she had an unexpected expense).

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JohnyComeAlready462 reads

Money over everything.

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camote16335 reads

Curious, what arrangement did you offer an did she accept?

Posted By: cocktail-party
When I asked her how much she wanted for the arrangement, she said "I don't know, you decide." Which may have been a good move on her part - she probably got more out of me than if we negotiated it out (and she wasn't above asking for $ when she had an unexpected expense).

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Oldtimemonger519 reads

Posted By: JohnyComeAlready
but why would a woman want to do that?  
   
 Seems as if she is giving up potential income.
That's why hookers usually make terrible SBs. They think in terms of time. $400/1 hour / 700 2 hours/ 1.5K dinner date etc.  

Civilian SBs don't look at themselves as hookers. You give them what they need not everything they want. Sure they could make more money as hookers but there is a small legal and a terrible social risk. If outed as a hooker, their chances for a normal relationship and a real world job are severely impacted. Being a sugar baby might raise a few eyebrows if they get caught but won't ruin their life.

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Debra_Hollander664 reads

... allow me to provide MY perspective.   :-)

I've had SB/SD type arrangements with gentlemen I'd met as clients....  in each case these were men I genuinely liked and with whom I'd already spent a considerable amount of time.  

For me, the main benefit is that I KNOW how much income I'm going to have.   This business can be very hit-or-miss, money-wise.  I never know for sure just how much $ I'm going to make each month.    
Sure, I've had months in this business where I've made significantly more than what my last arrangement provided.... but I've also had months where I made next to nothing.  
Being "on retainer" so to speak, gives me great peace of mind just in the financial sense alone.  Like virtually everyone I know with a "real job" I can count on a set income, and not worry about the highs and lows.  

Not to be overlooked is also the fact that I won't be meeting any new clients, for the length of the "arrangement".   With most new clients, I'm at least a little anxious/nervous, not knowing exactly what to expect. So that anxiety is also eliminated.  Don't get me wrong: meeting new men is exciting, and 99% of the time I enjoy myself and have fun.  It's that 1% that is the problem, and the worry.

Not that I have anything against the true one-percenters LOL!  ;-)

 

xoxoxox

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Oldtimemonger577 reads

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
... allow me to provide MY perspective.   :-)  
   
 I've had SB/SD type arrangements with gentlemen I'd met as clients....  in each case these were men I genuinely liked and with whom I'd already spent a considerable amount of time.    

 Not to be overlooked is also the fact that I won't be meeting any new clients, for the length of the "arrangement".   With most new clients, I'm at least a little anxious/nervous, not knowing exactly what to expect. So that anxiety is also eliminated.  

     
 

Most of us that make arrangements never pay more than 2K a month.  

An arrangement that takes you off the market and gives you full support is not a SD/SB arrangement. That's a 24/7 mistress arrangement. For a full time escort an arrangement would be a step down. For a civilian it's a step up.  

That's why I've never made arrangements with escorts.

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Debra_Hollander591 reads

I'm not quite sure why you assumed the arrangements I spoke of were that of a "24/7 mistress" but they absolutely were not.  I have a LIFE, and cannot be available to anyone (for any amount of $$$$$) 24/7 or at the drop of a hat.  I'm simply not available to be, as Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman, anyone's "beck and call-girl". LOL!   :-)

I have had "arrangements" where we agreed we'd get together a certain amount of times per month, for a certain amount of $ to be paid on the first of every month.  And I was still seeing my regular clients.

I've also had EXCLUSIVE "arrangements" where the point of him doing this was that he did not want me with anyone but him.  Yes, those were for a LOT more $ than the former.   I've been offered/asked to do this far more times than I've agreed to do it.  It really does depend on the person; I won't do this with just any wallet fat enough to afford it.  ;-)

For both the former and latter type of deal,  I was still only available the same days/hours that I am for my clients.  

I've known other ladies with other types of arrangements, with just as many different price-points.

 

xoxoxoxoxo

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JohnyComeAlready518 reads

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
... allow me to provide MY perspective.   :-)  
   
 I've had SB/SD type arrangements with gentlemen I'd met as clients....  in each case these were men I genuinely liked and with whom I'd already spent a considerable amount of time.    
   
 For me, the main benefit is that I KNOW how much income I'm going to have.   This business can be very hit-or-miss, money-wise.  I never know for sure just how much $ I'm going to make each month.    
 Sure, I've had months in this business where I've made significantly more than what my last arrangement provided.... but I've also had months where I made next to nothing.    
 Being "on retainer" so to speak, gives me great peace of mind just in the financial sense alone.  Like virtually everyone I know with a "real job" I can count on a set income, and not worry about the highs and lows.    
   
 Not to be overlooked is also the fact that I won't be meeting any new clients, for the length of the "arrangement".   With most new clients, I'm at least a little anxious/nervous, not knowing exactly what to expect. So that anxiety is also eliminated.  Don't get me wrong: meeting new men is exciting, and 99% of the time I enjoy myself and have fun.  It's that 1% that is the problem, and the worry.  
   
 Not that I have anything against the true one-percenters LOL!  ;-)  
   
   
   
 xoxoxoxo  
   
   
   
 

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Tony0825625 reads

Worked out the same type of arrangement with my ATF and it's absolutely wonderful!

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earthshined578 reads

as a civvie relationship? I mean you still have to put out effort to make it work, right?

I'm assuming your seeing each other more than once a month?

Posted By: Tony0825
Worked out the same type of arrangement with my ATF and it's absolutely wonderful!

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Tony0825409 reads

More like a civvie relationship rather than a provider/client relationship, although we never lose sight of how we first met!
See her at a minimum at least twice a month for two long enjoyable weekends

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cegb42593 reads

I had found this awesome college girl on craigslist, but unfortunately she has to go back home cause her dad isn't doing well. It's probably for the best though, because I am similar to you except I probably won't be getting a vasectomy for at least like 15-20 years. After this experience though, an arrangement does seem the way to go.

Posted By: Oldtimemonger
How Many Of You have arrangements? Are they with civilians or escorts? How often do you see your arrangement partner? Would you say the sex is "off the hook?" With arrangements it's Bareback all the way for me. I've had a vasectomy so no need for lectures. I'm not starting another BBFS thread.  
   
   
 I have been working out arrangements since 2007. My current one is with a grad student. She is not an escort or sex worker. I check them out with a PI before making any commitments. I even taught my lawyer how to do it. I used to use the old CL and then started using SA.  My current arrangement has lasted 2.5 years.  I still see a limited amount of escorts for variety.  
   
 Any comments welcome. Note: Some call it SD/SB. I've never liked "Sugardaddy." That's why I call them arrangements.

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ilarasantos652 reads

Aka a papichulo if you dislike the term sugar daddy.
I have had great relationships and still maintain contact.
Some remarry and some go find a more permanent situation.
I enjoy my freedom and have other pursuits but all the while am fond of those connections.
Like it or not they are always a great part and a fun part for us s'babies.

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Fridays117599 reads

A desperate housewife or hard up college student type who wouldn't mind a few extra bucks every Friday for an hour.  But thats not happening in my real life, so I pay 400 buck/hour escort for the same sorta thing, only less often because I ain't rich.  I'm not cheap.  If I had it I'd pay it.  Like thwy always say, nothings free.

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bobs.sugar.baby412 reads

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Bob.Sugar383 reads

We can't have the others here being jealous of our relationship.

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bobs.sugar.baby325 reads

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MissMarieM559 reads

Too much wasted time.  

I prefer a straight deal any day. :)

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HectorBlack385 reads

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VOO-doo403 reads

I love meeting and interacting with my clients, but I prefer short(ish) meetings of 6 hours or less. We can have a great time, a great night's sleep, and a great memory with none of the annoyance and drama that comes with constant companionship.

My experience is that most of the guys who want overnights/weekends want to pretend that I am their girlfriend or wife for the entire time. I prefer to have our interaction be a bit less farcical and intense. I want us to be able to have fun together, without pretending that there is or should be anything beyond a mutually enjoyable and beneficial provider/client relationship.  

I can't imagine being in an arrangement. While I do enjoy the occasional email or text from a cool client, I'd cringe if I were expected to reply to texts or calls at any given time, or if I had to build my day around somebody else's schedule. One of the chief reasons I escort is for my freedom. If I liked a guy enough to make an arrangement, I'd probably want a true relationship with him. In general, I'm just most happy and productive when there is a clear demarcation between client time and my time

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expertiamator571 reads

stick with nsa providers. despite all the years of arrangements and so much fun a recent experience has been regrettably life changing. it's so easy for everything to blow up and
fast. one truly learns to not give a fuck and manage stress after one arrangement/kept woman/sb whatever term you wish to use. pay and leave. and use a goddam condom

Posted By: Oldtimemonger
How Many Of You have arrangements? Are they with civilians or escorts? How often do you see your arrangement partner? Would you say the sex is "off the hook?" With arrangements it's Bareback all the way for me. I've had a vasectomy so no need for lectures. I'm not starting another BBFS thread.  
   
   
 I have been working out arrangements since 2007. My current one is with a grad student. She is not an escort or sex worker. I check them out with a PI before making any commitments. I even taught my lawyer how to do it. I used to use the old CL and then started using SA.  My current arrangement has lasted 2.5 years.  I still see a limited amount of escorts for variety.  
   
 Any comments welcome. Note: Some call it SD/SB. I've never liked "Sugardaddy." That's why I call them arrangements.

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Oldtimemonger457 reads

Posted By: expertiamator
stick with nsa providers. despite all the years of arrangements and so much fun a recent experience has been regrettably life changing. it's so easy for everything to blow up and  
 fast. one truly learns to not give a fuck and manage stress after one arrangement/kept woman/sb whatever term you wish to use. pay and leave. and use a goddam condom  
   
 
Hookers have outed mongers and for many it was life changing. One of the reasons for arrangements is to not have to use a "goddamn" condom.

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PussyLipGloss459 reads

Keeps tainted semen out of the general hooker pool where the rest of us swim and dine.

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Oldtimemonger446 reads

Posted By: PussyLipGloss
Keeps tainted semen out of the general hooker pool where the rest of us swim and dine.
That's hilarious. I hate to break it to you but 90% of hookers have boyfriends/husbands that they BBFS. They also BBFS in SD relationships. The word sugardaddy is now pretty much a euphemism for a regular that they have BBFS with. Of course all will deny it.

Most mongers have BBFS with somebody. In the real world BBFS is just called having sex. Only people who have never had real life relationships always use condoms. If you always wear a condom how could it possibly affect you?

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GaGambler460 reads

Anyone who sex they ALWAYS use a condom is either a liar or has never had a "real relationship" and needs to get out more often.

all this faux angst over BBFS is really rather humorous, especially when coming from a hooker who claims to have NEVER had unprotected sex, but in the same sentence makes a reference to her four kids. The last time any woman got away with that line it took "three wise men" to back her story. Well I've heard it in TJ a few times as well. lol

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expertiamator482 reads

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JohnyComeAlready323 reads

I seldom feel the urge, and she better be very attractive because I'm only thinking with my dick when I dive in.

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