1) thinking about canceling or rescheduling with a provider the same way I thought about a haircut or dentist appointment. Fortunately I didn't do it too often, being highly motivated to keep said appointments, but I did not give any thought in those early days to incall cost, time and expense to get ready, etc.

2) walking through hotels feeling like everyone knew exactly why I was there. Now I stroll in like I own the joint because it is the only way to roll.

3) not manscaping. Eliminating the "hair down there" makes happy time more pleasant for everyone. I also wax full front and back, but that's only because I'm part Alaskan Brown Bear (on my father's side), not saying everyone needs to go to that extreme.

What's GFE?

Yeah, I actually asked a provider that one time when she said she was "GFE", but she was cool and knew I was a total newb, or nob ... whatever. Oh, and her definition was, I kiss and act just like your girlfriend ... and you can cum in my mouth, just tell me first ... or words to that effect. It was years ago, but yeah. I did.

I also found  that starting out with a girl who wanted more than an hourly session was a sucker bet. If they are not your style you don't just lose more money, you put yourself in the awkward position of having to make an excuse to leave early or stick out a 2-3 hour session  that you hope gets better but never does.

That does not mean I see 30 minute special girls advertised in cheap publications. It just means that I wised up to the fact that girls over a certain price range were just marketing gimmicks. Early on I wasted so much money I felt like a fool.

Or a girl for that matter.

At the beginning, with no experience, you build up a mythical notion in your head of what the girl and session will be like.

You see amazing pics, reading glowing reviews, etc and it made me go into a session with much higher hopes.

Time brought my expectation level down, for the better. To be honest, the girls, in general, aren't as good looking, facially, as I had hoped when I first started.

Now, I am not saying they are ugly either, but more average than I had hoped. On the flip side, I have experienced some amazing bodies and sexual skills.

The other thing is that the girls turned out to be much more intelligent on whole rather than my preconceived notion. I was never really into the SW seen but a few times I dabbled and just figured the TER world of escorting would be more of the same. NOT!

I have seen several business owners, a chiropractor, an actress, an accountant (believe it or not!)...really smart women. I just NEVER thought that would be the case.

But I still see my "art school" girl regularly, who is more "blue collar" but just as much fun.

Nah....I came into the hobby already an established monger...

....and I used all of my hard earned mongering skills to work to my advantage.
But I gotta give major kudos to this site for helping me hone those skills and apply them better to this particular hobby.  
Much respect.

Maybe the most important thing I've learned from the hobby is the importance of caring for my body.

Unless it's in good shape, I'm not going to enjoy the hobby.

I owe a big debt of gratitude to many gals for helping me out on that

1. Leaving the TV on in my incall during dates-I didn't do this because I was watching TV during my date's and mine's time together, but because I was nervous about neighboring rooms overhearing us (not that I'm super loud).  

2. Not screening as carefully as I should-this was when I was brand new and had no reviews. I thought I had to take whoever I could get in order to get reviews because I didn't have any. Luckily I didn't run into anyone who was awful, but I definitely had guys try to take advantage of me-trying to bargain over the price, trying to overstay time without paying extra, etc. Almost everyone I see now is a complete gentleman and I'm a lot pickier about who I see now.

3. Putting my phone number in my ads-I would never do that now. It's a lady's personal choice if she wants to or not, and it works out well for some women. But I don't even like talking on the phone in my everyday life and I got so many more time wasters over the phone than I do now.

1. There is a lot to be learned from this community. I have learned from every provider I have met. I still continue to learn from my favorite provider every time I see her.
2. Manscaping is as  much to my advantage as any provider's.
3. Some providers are the most intelligent and interesting people I can possibly meet.
4. 94% of provider and client concerns seem to be related to risk management.  
5. I knew very little about sex before I met my fist GFE escort.

-- Modified on 7/23/2015 7:17:45 PM

Working in a very small collective with a girl who showed signs of bpd. I chose to look past it and to my own regret.  

This is a very energy centric realm we play in, vibes are not to be taken for granted or looked past whether in the capacity of a provider/provider or provider/client relationship.

 
 Yikes.

I started in this world before I knew of TER .  So most of what I learned was done the hard way (no pun intended).   So I dealt with the bait n switch and the upsell a few times.  

What I have learned for myself is that I definitely have a preference for a certain look, body style and age range.

I've learned how to do a better job of researching potential interests.  However, I still take chances now and again if I'm liking what I see and she's not been reviewed or has very little ad presence.  

I've learned that writing reviews is a challenge.  The graphic details needed in order to have a review posted are just not my thing.  

Discovered that regardless of how others mention what a wonderful time they've had in their general comments, I wasn't the right kind of client for them.  It was like oil and water.  Felt mechanical.  Just not me.

Some guys, not many, but some, will tell you more than you want to know. Which taught (teaches) me never to say anything you wouldn't want anyone to know.
.  
Never solicit - tell you'll be in town - but if you solicit, they feel you're desperate and start asking for discounts.

I've learned not to tell guys beauty secrets, because they would never know unless you told them

 
I've learned never to insult your own body or quirks in front of a man. It kills the moment for him!

Some guys come for drama, someone to vent to about people, but never vent back or join in.  

I've learned in every appointment, I usually do one or two clumsy/quirky things, and that will never stop - so accept it, and focus on the big picture. It usually turns out just great - and sometimes it can be a great ice breaker!

I've learned accuracy in photos may still be seen as inaccuracy due to the fantasies of some prior to the appointment.  

I learned very early on never to wipe a guy's cock with a baby wipe and say "all clean!" Lmfao - that poor guy practically ran out the door! Lol!

I've learned that there is the possibility of attracting guys who think my type is top notch, but never always!!

I have also learned that sabbaticals from the hobby help you come back with fresh perspective and grateful for the great people here.

Let's see... What else? Oh. One tequila drink is not like one rum drink lmao. That was interesting lol! Maybe next time I'll do half lol!


-- Modified on 7/23/2015 10:09:30 PM

It took me too long to fully appreciate the business side of all this.

I'm not talking about haggling or anything like that. But there were times I put up with way too much bullshit in the name of loyalty. Well, loyalty cuts both ways and being a decent client and regular shouldn't mean I get the "I'll get to you whenever/I don't have to try" treatment. Now nothing will make me disappear faster than feeling like I'm being taken for granted.

On the flipside, I've been way too slow to realize when I've actually been fired. No relation to the loyalty comment. Two separate phenomena.

in this business I am always learning new things that I had no clue about before.
I have met quite of few gents who taught me quite a bit of valuable information that can be used in business and everyday life.At first by looking at appearances it did not seem as if these guys would have any kind of info on business/investing.
They shared some great information and insight that I never would have even thought about.
I also like talking to gents that I see I learn different things just from having a simple conversation.
I know if I was not in this business many of these guys I see our paths would never have crossed if we were not a participant in this p4p world we play in.

I think we have all made some mistakes gents and ladies where we look back and think "what the hell was I thinking/doing?"
Before making the jump from an agency escort to an independent escort I read alot of forums/boards.
I did not participate just quietly read and observed I made notes on the do's and dont's.
I think one of my biggest mistakes was starting with an agency.
I realize later I did not need to work for an agency but at the time not knowing better I thought that is how it worked.
There are other options in this business such as being an independent.

Edited to add:

Sometimes I realize some people are not what they appear to be....I remember reading some guy's post and getting irritated(many others were as well).
Ended up seeing this guy when he was visiting Vegas did not put it together that this was the "big board guy" who rubbed many the wrong way was the guy in front of me.Until he shared his handle.
Totally opposite of his board persona...I asked him why he was like that here...his response it is fun to get people going and pissed about things I don't even care about or believe myself.
That is when I realized some people here believe what they write and some others don't but rather looking for a reaction.


-- Modified on 7/23/2015 9:58:22 PM

I have only been in this hobby for about three years. I was lucky that the first lady I saw clued me into TER, P411 and Date Check. What I have learned is  that if I am considerate, respectful , and treat them like a human being rather than an orgasm provider, I am rewarded with a very pleasant relationship. So---if I'm classified as a White Knight by some... So what, I don't a shit what other clients think, although I respect many who speak the truth and don't clutter the discussion groups with egotistical and irrelevant bull shit

#1 bbfs is great until you wish you didn't
#2 3-4x a week for 5 years is a lot of cash
#3 always maintain your privacy  
#4 few providers are your friends and cherish
the rare few you see countless times and thru the years
#5 try to be first of the day I was naïve when a pro
told me she saw 10 people AFTER me until 2 am.
#6 P4p is less risky than SBs or arrangements.
#7 Never see a provider who's ads do NOT display her
face or frontal view. It WILL be a disappointment or
a non repeater.
#8 Never pay for an overnight. Encourage them but  
don't do it. They lead to harder drugs as does bbfs.

$$$ comes first; oxxo comes second, and Reviews come III’rd.

If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Never compromise yourself.

...no matter how much you hope it does.  

This and some other lessons learned in my 10 years or so in this game:

1. if something isn't working, rarely does it get better - only worse - so move on for the sake of both of you

2. No one is indispensable - not a provider and not me as a client.  It is easy for feel bad for a provider's situation and want to hang in there because she needs your $.  Dumb and dangerous to do for that reason alone.  See number 1 above

3. When you find someone you want to see over and over again - do it.  And show them how glad you are to see them like it's the first time

4. Don't take anything or anyone for granted.  Otherwise you get to #1 above real quick.  If you see this happening jump out, as there can be quick fixes but rarely do those fixes stick.

5. There are lots more fish in the sea so don't look back, look forward if things didn't work out

6. There is a lot of manipulation in the hobby. I mean A LOT.  On both sides. Not by everyone, but it does happen an keep an eye out for it.  This is not a world where honesty happens regularly.  Don't expect it.  It's great when it happens but there is a lot you will never know.  And when you get right down to it, there is not a lot we have to know.  We just need to get to where we're going, have a great time, and do it again if we both want to.  

7. Relationships do happen within the hobby on occasion.  But be careful and understand what you are looking to get into if you want to go there.  They can be really good as relationships go as there are some real common bonds right off the bat. But never lose sight of the fact that relationships are work, and not just pure fun like the hobby is supposed to be.  They deal with the ups and downs in both people's lives and in this world there are lots of downs that both people have been suffering through.  So if you want a relationship with a client/provider, be careful what you wish for.  Relationships within the hobby can be great, but they have to be between two real people, not between two people with made up names who breeze into and out of our lives for an hour or two at a time.  And remember, more often it's relationships that drive people TO hobby, not the other way around.  

8.  As to #7 above, relationships can be a whole lot more expensive.  No - relationships ARE a whole lot more expensive.  Be ready for that part too.  

9. My last lesson learned is I can write a lot more - but I shouldn't lol


-- Modified on 7/24/2015 6:44:34 AM

Anonymity is paramount.  

This hobby is never a sure thing. Be patient.

Trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, walk away

When I first started, I had EVERYTHING to learn.  The two most important lessons are to relax, not to worry so much and treat others well.  A little kindness and respect go a long way.

still need to do work to find someone worthwhile. providers are not all good at sex

 
 I learned I have to find someone I'd be attracted to in "real" life rather than just a hot POA.

-- Modified on 7/26/2015 1:51:56 AM

Which has given me confidence I never had.  I wish I did this years ago (though I really couldn't have afforded to).  Hard to say definitively if I am an ex-hobbiest or not, but at minimum I am on a pause, and having fun developing civvie relationships.

I know this wasn't really what this question was getting at - but I have learned so much about MYSELF since I started doing this 2 1/2 years ago.  This hobby has really opened me up and changed me - mostly for the better I think, but only time will tell...

I guess the main lesson for me has been: just be comfortable in your own skin and a decent guy and let the chips fall where they may.  Whether in this hobby or outside of it - you'll get along better with some folks than others - and that's fine.  Just be yourself.  But confidence and basic decency DO go a long way in terms of how attractive others will find you