I didn't know there'd be so many no's, much less emphatic no's. I thought there'd be more than one serious yes. The advice about stray hairs is good, hadn't thought of that. I thought about nosy neighbor prevention tactics. I know a girl that said she'd do it/does it. The moral argument is weak at best. The thought was about fantasy fulfillment not flirting with disaster. I guess I thought I've gotten away with it so long why couldn't I try this? No risk of wife coming home with kids unexpectedly when they're across the country.
I asked this on the RO board but I'm curious what the ladies and the whole crowd have to say. What are the pros and cons of having the provider over for some discreet adventure at the client's house when his wife is out of town?
Cons
- The wife comes home early
- Where are your kids?
- Family pictures everywhere, identifying info, etc
- The wife walks in on us in the act!
- You have to clean the house
- I can't get excited because I'm so worried about the wife showing up
- not to mention your neighbors seeing a woman coming over
Pros
- ???
I'd never even think of doing it. I can't think of any pro points other than the convenience. Con? From the wife's point of view it's a double slap in the face -- adultery AND doing it in HER bed. Unforgivable disrespect in her eyes. Plus, there's the chance that your friend might have left behind a hair, a scent or something personal. Not worth the potential trouble in my opinion.
I've done it many times without any issues. We use the guest bedroom, not the master bedroom so there's less violation of my wife's space.
I don't consider it adultery. Adultery is having an affair with someone wherein there is no money exchanged. I wouldn't want my wife to discover that I've brought women into our home, though: while I believe she could condone my hiring escorts from time to time, I don't think she'd take kindly to my using our home.
I'm far more relaxed and comfortable entertaining a provider in my home than going to a hotel or apartment to see her.
If it makes you uncomfortable or guilt-ridden, then don't take the risk of bringing someone into your home
of both wife and provider
Whilst as a provider we are aware the majority of our clients are in fact married.
But this is something that is not openly discussed throughout the booking. It has happened to me and I found it extremely uncomfortable to be shagging when surrounded by wedding and family pictures all over the walls.
It is also additionally hard to relax with it being in the back of your mind what if she comes back early.
But that aside, you would need to be an amazing cleaner to ensure that no trace of the girl is left… Additionally if you go changing linen and cleaning when that is out of character for you it will set of alarm bells.
I would keep it to visiting a girl, or getting a hotel.
would rather they cone to my incall home or hotel. ... I hate outcalls anywhoos.... Its time consuming & all my toys are at my cozy fab abode!!! I did an outcall to a repeat client once while wifey was at work & it was the most uncomfortable session... Yes I fake the orgasm! !!!!
While I agree it is disrespectful to the provider, I am not following you on why it is disrespectful to the wife. The former sounds like an issue of comfort, while the latter sounds like an issue of morality/ethics.
If you want to go down that road, doesn't logic dictate that him fucking her at all, irrespective of the location, is disrespectful?
I just find it odd that the "where" is more important than the "what."
I just think any moralist, psychologist, etc would think that the bigger faux pas is the act of cheating/fking, not the location of the act.
Now, I am not saying that the location is completely irrelevant, just that the location is the lessor of transgressions and by a wide margin, at least to the wife, imo.
Some might interpret it as spitting in the wife's face by proxy; a "sullying" of their shared domain. Many marriages survive by looking the other way from their partner's indiscretions or some other explicit/implicit sexual arrangement. If he has any respect for his wife, the least the guy can do is not throw it in her face. Keep them worlds separate and compartmentalized.
To say there is NO disrespect to cheat on her (which is being implied), but it IS disrespectful to cheat on her in her home, just seems like a bizarre twist of logic.
If you clear the morality hurdle for cheating, than to me it only comes down to whether or not it is wise to cheat in the shared home for practical reasons, i.e. possibility of getting caught, not moral or ethical reasons.
I just think we all swim in shallow water when we make morality arguments against this type of behavior.
I think consistency is my argument. Condemn both if you will or say both are fine, but to pick the greater offense and reverse it in importance with the lessor offense is illogical, imo.
But I can definitely hear a wife saying "you not only fucked a hooker, but you fucked her in MY bed"
Call it the difference between disrespect and the "ultimate" disrespect. I believe in the eyes of the cheated on wife (the only opinion that really matters here) it's even worse if it happens in her own bed. It's the double whammy of finding out she has a cheating spouse AND some woman was invading her private space as well.
Besides the arguable issue of disrespect, it's also stupid as many women have a keen sense of smell and will know immediately that some other woman has been in her bed. I am single but even I try to remove all evidence of any woman having been in my bed out of respect to the next woman I am lucky enough to bed. Hookers don't care, but most civvie women don't like that "revolving door" feeling that comes with leftover condom wrappers and half empty bottles of lube lying around. Of course anyone that needs me to explain this to them probably isn't getting any civvie action anyhow. lol
It makes the matter worse, no argument, but that is tossed out there to make the guy feel even worse, and for the gal to get some revenge by using it, as well she is entitled.
Think about this scenario. A guy posts here:
"I am a married guy and just fked my first hooker last night while I was away from home! God I love this hobby!"
Do you think anyone would chastise him here for cheating and call him disrespectful? Ummm...no. He would get "attaboy" ad congrats, right?
But change the facts to..."and I fked her in my bed at home!" and suddenly he needs to be called out as "disrespectful?"
I just think that argument is bullshit
Would be more along the lines of "even more" disrespectful, not simply "disrespectful" which could be interpreted as excusing all other forms of cheating. Yeah, I can agree with you there.
and speaking strictly for myself, I am not the type who would be giving a guy "attaboys" for cheating for the first time. I try not be judgmental about cheating as the overwhelming majority of the guys here are doing just that, so I try not to criticize it, but neither do I celebrate it either. I am a whore mongering pig with suspect morals, but I don't live my life as a lie, quite frankly I don't think I am capable of living the double life that many of the guys here live.
I know that you tend to see these matters in black and white terms, Old Testament style, but with regards to moral judgments on adultery, I'd need to know more about his particular marital situation before passing judgment. Some offenses are worse than others.
You said:
"If he has any respect for his wife, the least the guy can do is not throw it in her face."
My argument is to call a guy out on where he is cheating, and not to condemn the act of cheating (which you didn't), is flawed logic.
Some would argue if he had any respect for his wife, he wouldn't cheat at all, or he would get a divorce, or seek an open marriage arrangement.
Again, I am just looking for consistency. Imo, if one is bad, both are. If one is acceptable, then both are.
You're making the assumption that he's a bald-faced cheater as opposed to someone who may have some leeway. With regard to respect, perhaps I should have used the word "modicum" in place of "any." Call him a cheater all you want, but are you going to argue that playing in his wife's home is not an aggravating offense? It displays careless disregard and spitefulness on top of the primary transgression. Yes, that is worse than sneaking away for a nut
I have acknowledged in my OP fucking in the wife's home/bed is an issue and I also acknowledged to GaG it is an issue. Do you need me to sign a fkin affidavit? LOL
In this case, you think where the act occurs is worse than what the act is, and you are entitled to that opinion Cockblock.
We just disagree.
My motive is to fulfill fantasies, not precipitate divorce. Currently my relationship with my wife is good.
In this case, you think where the act occurs is worse than what the act is, and you are entitled to that opinion Cockblock.
We just disagree.
But a girlfriend of mine in the business has and she felt it was disrespectful. I tell myself (having not yet experienced it) that I'd be able to disconnect my own feelings about the situation, but maybe I'd feel different when I have your family photos and all the signs of a woman's touch (house plants, toiletries, all those extra pillows that are just for decoration) staring me in the face.
Plus, who can guarantee that I won't shed a couple hairs or lose a dark colored hair tie when your wife is a blonde and uses only the tan-colored ones? Many women know when a single item in the house has been moved half an inch out of place. Obviously it's less than ideal for a provider to re-arrange/move anything in your home, but you never know! Women have a 6th sense about things and could have an animalistic way of sniffing out when an "invader" has been in her territory. Or is it just me? I'd advise against it.
All I can say is that shared territory is NOT a good place to play. On any level, for man or woman or for any reason. The truth will out
Seriously, f--king don't.
Unless you're single and just don't give a $hit. Even then I wouldn't play at home.
but then again I am single and don't give a shit. It's great to get laid and then just roll over and go to sleep, or even trade your hooker in for a "pizza and a six pack" before falling asleep. lol
One can say one has reasons for seeing escorts but that's just being a dick about it.
life is too short to be worried about the dumb shit. i say go for it and bang all over the house that way u have good memories. lol just saying.
...she stops for a couple of drinks with the gang and gets home real late, so yeah, I have a younger strange over to kill time.
Many years ago an atf relationship developed a little beyond what's normal. She liked me so much, I graduated from her hotel room, to her bedroom. There were even some sunrise sessions there. But one day, she decided to remarry, to a hobbyist no less. Since it was a hobbyist, it became sort of a well known fact among all the peeps. Of course, she was one of the ladies who continued working through her brand new marriage. One day, I get an email asking when I'm going to come by her home for another session. Well, now her bedroom isn't just her bedroom. Now it's his too. Out of respect, even though I'd partied there before, I couldn't bring myself to knowingly make love to a woman in another man's bed. The key word is knowingly. I'm sure we've all done it before because we have no idea of any given provider's marital status. Once you know, it changes the game, at least for me.
So should the married hobbyist have another woman, provider or not, in his wife's bed when she's out of town? I'm sure it's been done, millions of times throughout history. But it is disrespectful. I know I know. The married hobbyist is already cheating on his wife, so he's already showing her tons of disrespect. All too true, but there's just something even more disrespectful doing it in her bed. Get a room!
With respect: It crosses the border into foolishly self destructive behavior.
You are loaded. I mean wealthy to the point where there are areas in the house where your wife never enters and far enough from the entrance of your home that were she to come home early mid act, you would have time to dress and sneak the lady out of an alternate entrance. Wealthy enough that your house is secluded from the watchful eyes of nosy neighbors. Wealthy enough that you have house staff, so finding another person's hair won't set off any alarms.
I'm being silly, but I would advise against it. Having a rendezvous is one thing, but having a rendezvous in the family home seems malicious and spiteful (unless that's your intent then go for it!.) In addition your lady friend probably won't be having the best of times because she will likely be nervous.
I'd just have a harem 
I'm being silly, but I would advise against it. Having a rendezvous is one thing, but having a rendezvous in the family home seems malicious and spiteful (unless that's your intent then go for it!.) In addition your lady friend probably won't be having the best of times because she will likely be nervous.
If you do this you should change your handle from "King of Love" to KING OF STUPIDITY.
Like most of already said, the risk of something being left behind, a strand of hair that's a different color then your wife has, the scent of another women, the question of why did you change the sheets, wash the bedding....
The benefits of a provider/hobbyist relationship is the discretion. So why invite that risk into your home? Wives know, they always know.
Pro -- Exhibition of Colossal stupidity
Con-- You are going to get kicked out and left with much smaller wallet to hobby when she gets through!
-- Modified on 7/21/2015 4:56:02 AM
I had a civie date to my house & found out she'd gone through my desk when I was in the bathroom... & I didn't even get any on that occasion.
I didn't know there'd be so many no's, much less emphatic no's. I thought there'd be more than one serious yes. The advice about stray hairs is good, hadn't thought of that. I thought about nosy neighbor prevention tactics. I know a girl that said she'd do it/does it. The moral argument is weak at best. The thought was about fantasy fulfillment not flirting with disaster. I guess I thought I've gotten away with it so long why couldn't I try this? No risk of wife coming home with kids unexpectedly when they're across the country.