is preference discrimination
I recently tangled with a provider over her "HWP" (Height & Weight Proportional) requirement for hobbyists. A woman has the right to refuse service to anyone she doesn't like and I can certainly understand her not wanting a 5'6" guy who weighs 400 pounds to book her, but since I am 6'1" and weigh 255, I'm not exactly HWP (200 pounds would be HWP), I find that such a requirement is a bit insulting to us larger guys. Same would be true for ultra-skinny guys, I guess.
I also saw an ad for a provider who won't see men over the age of 60. Again, it's her prerogative but those of us here who are over 60 (which I'm willing to bet is a significant number of us hobbyists), that's pretty cold of her since those of us beyond 60 have no chance of making love to a young, beautiful woman other than via hiring an escort.
Have any of you guys found ads with similar discrimination against us Johns? If so, please comment.
And, for those providers who read this board, I'd love to hear what you think about picky providers.
It is what it is. I don't see men over a certain age either, because unless I know him from the boards and am already attracted to his younger acting personality, the shit gives me the fkin creeps. It's like sleeping with a grandfather. This is no different than the broken record of no black men, but in a different twist. You're correct, providers can deny service to anyone, even though we are being paid. There are some people/things that I would not touch for any less than 100k.
You ask what I think about picky providers? I call them/myself selective. Keep in mind that we can actually lose business from picky johns if we are an all access, free for all type of provider. Men often pay more for a girl who is not likely to have been with just anyone, any size, any race etc. Sad, but true. I've had white men flat out say if they know providers see black men, they will avoid them... so, even if we do we are not supposed to broadcast it for fear of losing out on the majority of our clientele.
I would never see a $20 blow and go hooker for many reasons but one of them is that I imagine the kind of guys who frequent her. I think there is something to a guy's perception of exclusivity.
As for the OP, just get over it. I recently had somebody reject my request for a session. She was very nice about it, but I had to admit that for about half an hour I worried, "OMG, it is because I am Hispanic, perhaps because I have slept with women of other races, maybe she reads TER and she thinks I am a dork, etc. etc." After the half hour of self-pity and worry, I came to the same line of thinking LR replied with - glad she said no, glad she did not agree to see me and endure me. There are plenty of people to play with....
I wasn't rejected. I sent her a picture and she said, "Looking good!", but I didn't like her HWP requirement and found it offensive.
I never contacted the provider who has an age limit of 60, even though I've been told many times I look to be in my 50s.
They can advertise however the fuck they want to keep certain people away and then they can, and will, say no on some occasions regardless of how many notes a guy may have in his pocket. Whether she says no or advertises in a way that makes it clear that she does not want to see a particular guy, a guy should not let his knickers twisted into a knot over it. BTW, I am not sure that sending photos with session requests is a particularly good idea
If he had not and she met him I am thinking that the session might have been a little frosty.
I have seen some pretty fat guys and if I had known about it before hand I might not have OR I would have said to them I will see you BUT if you cannot hold yourself up off my chest so I am not suffocated, then no. Nor am I going to overly adduct by inner thighs for the duration straddling their ample girth because they are too fat to hold themselves up.
It all amounts to choices people and whether the tricks go apoplectic over what I just said, well your blood pressure not mine...it is what it is. My motto is "work smart, not hard". Some other hooker will be more than happy to put herself through that. The money is just not worth it.
It's simply a personal preference. If you didn't want to book with a bbw lady or a spinner, I'm sure those ladies wouldn't be upset and say it's discrimination. If a lady doesn't wish to see you for whatever reason, move on. There are plenty more that will be happy to see you.
Hugs and kisses
TL
So what...it's her choice to see who she wants...or at least try to make sure she isn't confronted with someone she absolutely doesn't want to see.
That's clearly discrimination. But in this game...so what?
Hugs and kisses
TL
So I guess it's discrimination when you don't book with a lady you're not attracted to? Some ladies just PREFER not to see someone they won't be attracted to. I guess since the ladies are being paid, it turns into discrimination. Why is it so hard to understand that it's just a personal preference
And I absolutely discriminate on who I would see in P4P. I won't pay for anything I don't want.
I also discriminate on where I'll eat dinner...or what movie I would see...or most things in life.
Just calling it how I see it.
Being discriminating is not necessarily a bad thing and it completely blows the myth that "all hookers will ANYBODY" Clearly this is one hooker with standards.
I won't fuck a fat broad and it wouldn't matter how much I was paid to do so. Is that discrimination? Of course it is, but so the fuck what?
I find this highly ironic as I was just having this conversation with a 19 year old Korean (not Kgirl) hooker a couple of days ago. Her final question to me after normal screening, but before setting a time was "How tall are you and how much do you weigh?" I thought it a bit odd, but I told her and after a rocking session she told me that she "won't see fat guys", we both laughed and I agreed that I wouldn't see fat girls either so I guess that made us even. Once upon a time someone with "discriminating taste" was considered a good thing, now even hookers aren't allowed their own tastes.
I'm not interested in old or ugly either.
That gives the masses here less competition to give the old, fat and ugly hookers those 10's.
I won't fuck a fat broad and it wouldn't matter how much I was paid to do so. Is that discrimination? Of course it is, but so the fuck what?
I find this highly ironic as I was just having this conversation with a 19 year old Korean (not Kgirl) hooker a couple of days ago. Her final question to me after normal screening, but before setting a time was "How tall are you and how much do you weigh?" I thought it a bit odd, but I told her and after a rocking session she told me that she "won't see fat guys", we both laughed and I agreed that I wouldn't see fat girls either so I guess that made us even. Once upon a time someone with "discriminating taste" was considered a good thing, now even hookers aren't allowed their own tastes.
In theory, yes but in this illegal business all bets are off. Just saying. Only legal businesses have discrimination laws, so it's null and void here. It's either a legal business that discriminates or a person who does... since the business is already free from any laws, it becomes the personal issue like Terri said... I mean if you really want to get technical about it lol.
In this example it is absolutely discrimination.
No technicalities here...it is what it is.
I assume someone will raise the question "why no AA men". Is that discrimination? Of course. How about "why no fatties"? Perhaps "why not knuckle draggers"? The list is endless...and all of it is discriminatory.
Same as I won't take on clients who are just stupid. I can't stomach being around stupid. And I run a legal licensed business...and have for years. Is that discrimination? You betcha!
is preference discrimination
I always chuckle when I see ISOs that specify that they are looking for any woman that is white, asian, latina, essentially anyone but black. That's cool, but it totally sucks for them...in my area women of color make up 30% of the top 10, myself included. So you've just knocked out a third of the top rated ladies based on an arbitrary idea of what we will look/act/be like. (I've heard since I started that black girls are more likely to be butterfaces...ha!)
For that same reason I have no restrictions on specific kinds of people I'll see, but I do deny plenty of people in the communication phase because of illiteracy, disrespect, bad vibes, lack of connection, etc. and ultimately that's more important to me than weight, age, ethnicity, etc.
But what do I think of others who do it? One word: autonomy. It's a beautiful thing.
Why are you even babbling about what some hooker won't do?
There are tens (maybe hundreds) of thousands of women who'll gladly take your money.
To worry about some hooker that tries to screen out what she doesn't want to see...why care?
I also saw an ad for a provider who won't see men over the age of 60. Again, it's her prerogative but those of us here who are over 60 (which I'm willing to bet is a significant number of us hobbyists), that's pretty cold of her since those of us beyond 60 have no chance of making love to a young, beautiful woman other than via hiring an escort.
Have any of you guys found ads with similar discrimination against us Johns? If so, please comment.
And, for those providers who read this board, I'd love to hear what you think about picky providers.
Just like we have the right to choose who we might want to see, they have the right to accept dates from whoever they are comfortable with. I have come across a few providers that don't see women (I am a lady monger)....so what? For every one that doesn't, there are 50 who will. And often I have to email them to ask, since it sometimes isn't mentioned on her website. It is what you make of it. TBH I'm way more pissed off about the few who are too rude to even reply to my email asking. Thankfully those bitches are few and far between.
Bottom line is not to take it personally. It's their job and our past time. If a door closes on you, move on to the next one. You might have done yourself a huge favor by walking away from someone who probably wouldn't have made for a great date anyway.
When someone discriminates against men, women, tall, short, fat, old, ugly, smelly, stupid, smart, white, black, red, brown, yellow....its discrimination.
In this game we play...it doesn't matter. The customer also discriminates...who cares? I won't pay a penny on fat, old, ugly and so on.
Sue me!
Bottom line is not to take it personally. It's their job and our past time. If a door closes on you, move on to the next one. You might have done yourself a huge favor by walking away from someone who probably wouldn't have made for a great date anyway.
"Personal choice/preference" and "discrimination" are not mutually exclusive, as you well know Bob.
The point is, is that there is justifiable discrimination and unjustifiable discrimination.
Seems like some here think the "D" word is a bad thing. It isn't always.
The government discriminates based on age re: smokers, drinkers, car drivers, etc. is that a bad thing? Rational people would say no.
Ladies just say, "Yes, I proudly discriminate and it is my personal choice to do so."
Was that so hard?
As I posted to h+t elsewhere...most hookers really don't have the option to discriminate. They can try to weed out the ones they don't want to fuck...but all they can do is limit the possibility that someone will still get through.
Then the gal needs to feign illness. Or not open the door upon looking through the peephole.
I'd say nearly every john discriminates here. As you say...not a bad thing either.
The point is, is that there is justifiable discrimination and unjustifiable discrimination.
Seems like some here think the "D" word is a bad thing. It isn't always.
The government discriminates based on age re: smokers, drinkers, car drivers, etc. is that a bad thing? Rational people would say no.
Ladies just say, "Yes, I proudly discriminate and it is my personal choice to do so."
Was that so hard?
Good grief man, why do you care? Why would you want to see someone who doesn't want to see you? Find someone who does. They can be as picky as they want. Their body, their business.
I also saw an ad for a provider who won't see men over the age of 60. Again, it's her prerogative but those of us here who are over 60 (which I'm willing to bet is a significant number of us hobbyists), that's pretty cold of her since those of us beyond 60 have no chance of making love to a young, beautiful woman other than via hiring an escort.
Have any of you guys found ads with similar discrimination against us Johns? If so, please comment.
And, for those providers who read this board, I'd love to hear what you think about picky providers.
LR is right. Why see someone that may be cringing to be with you.
Shouldn't you just go "next" and leave it?
So you would rather a hooker see whatever waved the benjies and put up with an awkward at best and a really obvious "i hate every minute with you" at worst in the PC hopes of getting seen?
Sorry but hookers are people and people can and do have choices as to whom they allow entrance to said vagina, mouth or rectum....just like you said but really did not mean...it's her prerogative..or is just her prerogative as long as she sees you?
I feel hookers can be as picky as tricks. Her business, her earning capacity, her body.
So yes I am one of those picky bigoted hookers who will gladly discriminate.
-- Modified on 7/21/2015 4:22:14 PM
As you've posted many times about the old and fat tricks you have to see...but in those cases I am guessing you already know what's behind the door. So your choice to see the old fat fuck again.
The hookers that have NO clue as to what is behind the door have to just "do it"...or get ill quickly LOL
Damn tragedy that your bills need to get paid. There are alternatives...try them.
So you would rather a hooker see whatever waved the benjies and put up with an awkward at best and a really obvious "i hate every minute with you" at worst in the PC hopes of getting seen?
Sorry but hookers are people and people can and do have choices as to whom they allow entrance to said vagina, mouth or rectum....just like you said but really did not mean...it's her prerogative..or is just her prerogative as long as she sees you?
I feel hookers can be as picky as tricks. Her business, her earning capacity, her body.
So yes I am one of those picky bigoted hookers who will gladly discriminate.
-- Modified on 7/21/2015 4:22:14 PM
... when providers are clear about who they want to see and don't want to see. It makes it easier for me to focus on providers who will be comfortable with me, and I with them.
It goes beyond physical qualifications, too. Yesterday I saw an ad and web site from a provider who was very specific about what she was looking for wrt clients, and during dates. For example, she described in detail how she likes to be kissed. I expect that will turn off some prospective clients. But I appreciated the details, because I know that if what she likes is a good fit for what I like, we'll probably have a great time together. And yes, I put her on my "must see" list. 
...and book with one of the many that are more than happy to service you! 😎
So she has that preference. So what. Some call it "discrimination". I wont get into that much because it doesn't matter. However, it's false! Lol. That its "discrimination". Your individual merit is not really of concern here. Even if you think it should be. Not for some ladies and it's understandable for most things. Age, race, whatever. As someone said, this is for the most part an open big market. Find another provider. Why would you want to be around someone who has such wishes just because she is on the dime sorta speak? You have your likes. So do some women. Just because they are on the other end. Receiving a donation, honestly means nothing to that as a difference between the two of you. Unless you think she is inferior to you because she is in it for pay and you're paying. If so, hmmmmmm, re-think that please!!! Real Talk.
Good Luck though!! I think most mature minds can empathize with you. Just let that shit escape. There are too many "young" ladies out there with no such restrictions. As a matter of fact., they are the majority one can easily assume and frankly, always will be!! Let's not act like that's not the case!
Good Day to you.
...this guy would like to meet you. 
He'd be considered athletic!
Maybe he's also just big boned?
-- Modified on 7/21/2015 7:14:25 PM
It would make me a hypocrite to call a man "big boned" or some such shit when he is just plain fat.
If I were a 95 lb girl, there would be no way in hell I would allow a man 2 1/2 times my size to crawl all over me. I mean as a man I won't see a woman anywhere near 155, much less 255.
The good news is that there are thousands of women that don't care how fat you are.
who told me that they are turned on by big men pressing down on them.
They find it a turn on.
Go figure.
I think she also qualifies as an Uber
Why don't you take a few laps around the track and lose a few pounds? Ok, it's more than a few. It's quite a lot if we are all being honest. You are morbidly obese.
Money will get a hooker over many a hurdle, but a fat, old dude that bitches and moans about his lot in life may not be one of them.
A friend of mine told me a 300-pound guy nearly dislocated her hip recently. Look, because of the unique nature of this work, girls do get to "discriminate" re who they'll see. Nothing wrong with that IMHO. And all the shit about the word itself is nothing more than semantics.
Oh, I have and she's gorgeous. But, she's in Miami and I was looking around New England where I spend the summer/fall and came across the ad with the HWP requirement. I'll be seeing my ATF next week when I spend a few days back in Miami.
This is the #1 reason why hookers should not want their profession to be legal. Once they are legal and become a business it absolutely would become discrimination. The courts have already set the precedent. Legality, be careful what you wish for.
-- Modified on 7/21/2015 1:41:34 PM
The #1 reason they don't want it legalized is taxes! just imagine if they had to pay 40-50% of that fat 1 hour fee to Uncle Sam like us regular working stiffs.
-- Modified on 7/21/2015 1:41:34 PM
You're assuming far too much. Many of us do in fact pay a shit ton of taxes, which explains why even hookers can be broke.
I am irresistible.
in your feelings and need to pick up a dictionary. Some are under the impression that refusing service must be illegal in order to to qualify as discrimination which isn't true in the slightest. Personal preference can be discriminatory. The provider said she didn't want to see him because he is fat that is most definitely discrimination.
It's never fun to be on the receiving end of discrimination, but you must look at the bright side. You avoided wasting your time and money. Instead of fretting over a person who would grimace, wince and groan during your time together you can now find a lady who will kiss your belly because she finds those extra 55lbs to be the sexiest thing in town.
Side question. Why do you bunch hate fat people so much?
We know it's discrimination, but mixing words is fun on a fk board. If you want to fk every guy under the sun, be my guest. Until you're my pimp, I will stick to doing what I have done since 2008... NOT what everyone else does.
I respectfully suggest those hookers who feel that discrimination is bad add to their site..will fuck anything that has the cash. I wonder if those same hookers see dirty guys too or is that the only group they "discriminate " against
Mixing words or completely disregarding the definition? I'm an English major so maybe I'm just sensitive, but abuse of the English language just irks me to no end. Lol I didn't say I disagree with the situation and quite frankly I don't care what everyone else is doing. I am neutral on the matter and gave both perspectives.. Again: Yes, people should "fk" whomever they want, but it sucks when you want it to be you but it's not.
Seeing as though you have zero reviews, my guess is you are new... stick around. It gets better ha ha.
Because fat is a choice.
A client probably wants his provider to respond in ways that can't be consciously controlled. If the client is really, really, unsexy as perceived by the provider, she isn't going to get wet, get hard nips, come to orgasm, or any other bodily response. Fair is fair --- the client would not respond to a provider of sufficiently unsexy physical characteristics, either.
Discrimination is what it is. If it is rooted in some sort of gut reaction, it's going to be in the way of a session that, by definition. consists of an hour of gut reactions. No amount of protest or rebuke is going to change that; except to make it worse. As LR says...... :
Even waste the time to tangle with her, it's not like you're gonna get her to change her weight requirement.
There's entirely too much pussy for rent to be bitching about gals who won't let you pay to fuck them. Respect their rules
Eventhough the quote is from a movie, truer words have never been spoken......
"we say who, we say when, we say how much".
BMI Categories:
Underweight = less than 18.5
Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
Overweight = 25–29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater
Unless he is a ball of muscle and he clearly is not, or he would have said so.
He could be 250lbs and just be a big guy, but not an obese guy.
Which denotes a low body fat but he did not mention that. I bet dollars to donuts his body fat percentage is way above average for a male.
He is fat and I am waiting for him to tell us otherwise but the tone of his post was that he dislikes hookers who are not into fucking fat guys...he used the term "larger"...I am not PC...it means fat.
I am 73 years old and have a well trimmed beard and mustache. I would much rather know that a provider is turned off by old guys and by face hair than waste my time and energy with someone who is wanting m gone the whole time I am there.
In civvie world, I have always been at a significant disadvantage due to my height (5'4"). For the most part, it is socially unacceptable for the male in a couple to be shorter than his counterpart, and a majority of civvie women go along with these societal norms/prejudices.
That being said, I have never encountered discrimination on this in the hobby. Nor has age ever been an issue, though I am still on the short side of 60. My best advice on this is to move on, and keep trying. At 6'1", you should never have an issue. If you are overweight, then I suggest hitting the gym, even if only for health reasons.
That being said, I have never encountered discrimination on this in the hobby. Nor has age ever been an issue, though I am still on the short side of 60. My best advice on this is to move on, and keep trying. At 6'1", you should never have an issue. If you are overweight, then I suggest hitting the gym, even if only for health reasons.
and I often see "barely legals" it still hasn't been an issue. but I have had to accept the fact that no 18 year old is still going to want "date me" OTC. I do occasionally get lucky with the girls in their mid twenties, but it's happening less and less often as I get older. I have NEVER had a woman refuse my money because I am too old yet though, but I am sure it will happen eventually
Providers are encouraged to put their preferences in their ads (no black men, age restrictions, HWP, etc) so there aren't any awkward moments when the gent arrives at the door (or visa versa). But when they do, they get flamed for doing so. It's her preference, and she doesn't owe you a reason for why she doesn't...but she won't be able to give you the best possible time with her if she's feeling awkward during the session.
I age discriminate. I won't see younger gents under 35. I am sure there are many nice young men, but I have found my biggest problems with scheduling, no shows, no references...and balk at my newbie screening process, are with the younger men. It's just easier to say no than to try and wade through the weeds to find the flower. Plus I am an older provider, so it can get kind of weird if I see someone as young as, or younger than my child, or possibly a grandchild.
I'd much rather see a list of DNS on a providers site then to have to play the email 20 question game. It's just a good business practice so that you don't waste our time, and then we in turn don't waste yours.
Tricks quit getting butt hurt if they are on the list, it won't happen.
Some guys will not see a lady who has those restrictions and none of them might apply to him...just the fact that she is "picky".
Money comes first I am afraid, or why would most of the hookers be fucking guys they would not remotely consider in real life?
Your situation is a bit different...you need to make sure they actually see women and at the very least can pass it off as authentic. I am not sure if those hookers that see women have some of the restrictions they have for me...as in age or weight, you would be the authority on that....care to share?
So far I have not run into any restrictions personally...but I do not have any of the physical issues that some providers balk at (old, fat, too young, AA, etc). I have been asked a few times to describe myself during the setup phase, but it doesn't happen very often, which is surprising to me.
For us lady mongers, the good news is that many of the ladies here on TER do indicate on their sites that they see women and/or couples, so it saves me an extra email step. A very small few list that they do not, which also saves me that extra email step. I doubt that any provider has gotten any blowback from an irate lady hobbyist who took offense at her not being girl-friendly. There are so few of us here that it would be virtually no risk to have her indicate as such on her site and in her ads.
-- Modified on 7/22/2015 12:06:11 PM
I actually prefer "picky" hookers. I know a picky hooker is less likely to be sick of her job from having to fuck every fat, smelly guy that shows up at her door. I have seen a lot of hookers who actually enjoy sex with their clients, but that's because they weed out the ones they know they won't enjoy.
I guess it kind of sucks for the guys that get rejected, but hey, Life aint fair and being turned away before a session is even booked has got to be better than seeing a look of abject disgust when she opens the door. That has got to hurt when it happens, just like fucking a woman who clearly is repulsed by you has got to be worse than not getting laid at all.
I thought about that the first time I set up a date with a k-girl. After making arrangements, I wasn't 100% sure that the booker understood that I was female, despite mentioning it a few times. The day came for my session and I almost backed out, afraid that I'd get to the door and she'd be freaked out not realizing what the booker had set up for her. Thankfully the door cracked open a bit and I was welcomed inside. But it could have easily gone ugly had there been any miscommunication between me and the booker, or between the booker and the girl.
So did you have a good time?
I love K girls, I may just like one so much that I will take her home and keep her for a couple of months one day. I've dated two of them, and about half the time I see one (about once a week or so) I swear I want to just "retire" her on the spot. Of course common sense takes over and just like with Chinese food, I know I will want another one an hour later. lol
Had a great time. There is something so different and unique about k-girls and their service. I saw her once more and dabbled with a few other gals, but ultimately decided that I preferred to go with independent asian providers.
It made me so happy that I am not fat as she rocked my world.
She was only 19, so I am glad she didn't have any rules against old guys, like me. lol
She told me flat out that although she was doing this for the money, she loved sex and that she didn't want to ruin her love of sex by fucking guys that repulsed her. Good for her. NO, actually GREAT for her.
Aren't you picky as a hobbyist? You already mentioned liking the younger ladies. If you don't want to be a hypocrite shouldn't you be seeing old, not so attractive, and larger women along with the young, beautiful women?
There are providers and "civilians" I have no interest in seeing. Why should the providers be any different? Just because you are paying them does not mean they have to see everyone that asks.
I am not suggesting the OP fits this description and no offense to anyone. But if I was a provider I would not want to see some guy who is too fat to see his pecker and is as hairy as a gorilla and may have a bit of BO.
I feel the OP's pain about providers not wanting to see "old" guys. I am not there yet but will be one day (hopefully). However I would much rather a provider turn me down. Then have a horrible time because they would rather be anywhere and with pretty much anyone else than me. There are lots of providers out there. I would rather take my money and spend it with someone who I am going to have a good time. Verse someone who is "forced" to be there and can't at least make me believe they are having a good time and happy to see me.