An executive was stessed out. He had to fire one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, either Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, since they were both equally qualified and both excellent workers. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.
Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take a couple of aspirins and the executive approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you please jack off? I have a terrible headache."
-- Modified on 1/31/2014 11:26:38 AM
You tell someone you know "Hey, I bumped into a guy last night that said he knows you." Then he says "who?" You say "Mr. Meoff". He says "Mr. Meoff, um...Mr. Meoff....." You say "yeah, I think he said his first name was Jack." He says "Jack Meoff, Jack Meoff, Jack Meoff", Then he says "You Asshole! I get it Jack Me-Off!"
I did it once to a coworker and it worked perfectly, of course, he was a little slow.
I know Chinese. Say this pronunciation:
Oh Wa - Ta Gos - Sai Am