TER General Board

A gilded cage is still a cage.sad_smile
SoftlySarah See my TER Reviews 412 reads
posted

And I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to live in a cage. I even avoid zoos because it saddens me to see others live in a cage. So my answer would be that I choose my freedom no matter how much that costs me. And I would wither and die with access to only one penis. :(

I think your description of loving to be prepared for entertaining a man sexually: high heels, groomed from top to bottom, etc., is not incompatible with the freedom I desire. I am a very part-time companion, and my preference is longer engagements- dinner dates, overnights, etc.- because the ritual I observe with each engagement (no matter the length of the engagement) is an all-day thing. I wake up on the morning of my engagement with my prospective lover on my mind, and my whole day is centered around preparation for our meeting like it is some sacred thing I am about to do (because in many ways, I feel it is). I relish my day of anticipation; I revel in my preparation. From selecting the perfect dress and lingerie and making any purchases related to the engagement, to getting my mani and pedi done, to bathing, dressing, and doing my makeup and hair, I am immersed in thinking about our meeting. My focus is completely on joyously throwing myself into receiving my friend and being fully there for him (or her, or them). Even the perfume I reserve for my Sarah life is part of the ritual- that last little spritz actually gets me a little aroused. Whenever I smell that scent when out and about, it has the same effect- thrusting my psyche at light speed into a "Sarah" headspace- which has the effect of sending a tingle to my groin. This sublime bodily reaction to my perfume (and the joy with which I perform my preparation ritual) would cease if I were to see the same person every day. My very freedom [to pursue my life as a companion] cultivates and nurtures my excitement to be sexually and intellectually available to someone who desires my company. Constrain that in any way, and you'll sap the life out of me.  

My inner fire comes from being available to many but owned by none.

So to speak  a woman which does not make her own money.. yet kept by man?

How many of your gentlemen have wives who are your kept women?
 How you gentlemen, feel about that fact?
 Do you have respect to such wife?
Are you attracted to such woman in long run?  
Or you rather will respect working woman?

I always was on conflict with this dilemma - one way - I am perfect candidate for such "kept woman" figure..I love to dress sexy always, love be his trophy woman so many man  would be just compliment him  on woman on his hand ..
I love to be well taken care from toes to top.. and  spend a LOT A LOT of time  preparing myself for man..
I am spending day as  getting ready for ONE only date ..  
I am a bit irritated that my dates can t see me every time in different outfits different styles of hair do, different moods - sometime I am Latino, sometime I am Italian .. some time I am jewish and always am Russian.. just under different means ..
I am very upset NOT to be known to full extend of my sexuality.. so i am perfect woman to be kept  for entertainment and fun ..
Yet I am well balanced person and I feel always just as soon as man starts think that he is the one who is keeping me and I becoming "kept woman " I am becoming less in his eyes ..

 and he do not give me chance to have OTHER interests and OTHER talents  and men I have been with  as kept woman never  help me to develop all my other then just "please eyes and please man "
talents.. so I am struggling myself to make dreams come to true ..

 So I wonder.. how typical it is -

- The fact that genleman as soon as he have kept woman in his household he stops think about her as about more then just a beautiful sex toy?
 What you would do gentlemen? What you are doing for your kept  wives to make them develop all their dreams?  Or who cares about her soul and talents?

Dont' you think that with nice men well kept woman will achieve more and be more glamourous  to compliment him?

What you ,girls, want -  Do you want be kept and are ok with that even he is keeping you just for sex and looks,  

or you prefer to make you own money - even for the costs of being provider for one hour?

 What has LESS moral implications

-being a kept woman and not be respected as whole person  

-or be independent , make you own money one way or other deal with all office politics and low salaries
 or with not sophisticated clients  who want hire you for 300 - 400 yet it is your money and you can do whatever you want  

What is more acceptable for a  modern woman?
Who is modern man now?

Are we represented here well by all income brackets?

I want to hear opinions not just one group and one gender.  
if you  understood what I am talking about..
 may be you will participate a bit with your opinions?

 It is just very old question ..old as this profession

 however we are now people of 21 century so may be we  are bit different then "Sister Carrie "'s times society Are we ? or we are still as in "American Tragedy"
I am trying find my balance to stay this one woman who loves to be kept yet the one who loves to work:) In  meaning to develop other talents this this one.. here.
 Share pls  
-What you want from your woman (gentlemen)
-What you want from your men( ladies)
Just interesting  to align  by my own ideas.. is there any gap how  think and what others are incline to have .
Thanks
 
Sound as rhetorical  question.. But in fact VERY interesting .  

 



-- Modified on 7/2/2015 9:42:23 PM

15+ fkin questions in one fkin post and then tell us at the end they were all fkin rhetorical?!?!?!?!?!

I never thought I'd say this on this board...but here goes....gulp...I'm actually contemplating putting you on ignore

I put her on ignore a long time ago.
Just reading the replies to her incoherent ramblings is entertaining enough without having had to actually read her bizarre drivel.

You counted? How did you do that??

in the prudish Victorian age from which it arose.  She was a woman who had no benefit of marriage, yet stayed with a man for whatever emotional/economic reasons there were for her.

If she left the man, then she was known as "a woman with a past."

In other words, no gentleman would seriously consider her for marriage.  Societal standing was the end-all and be-all of such civilization, and I'm glad we are mostly beyond that today.  As an example, my current newly minted spouse is a woman with a past (and a future too. 8o) and is accepted into my family and friends without a hitch because they note the good in her and like her.

As for what I want in a woman, well, it depends on the situation.  Obviously with an escort, one set of rules prevails, and I don't have to belabor on here what that entails.

With a spouse, it certainly is different, and beyond a simple description here.  Then there are friends with benefits and who knows how many more new hybrids of relationships between men and women (or between like sexes for that matter).  Each is a pioneer in a sense, and I think that is a good thing for the most part.

Interesting post Pav

-I need her to love me and support me. And she does. She can tell when I am down and gets me to laugh. She always builds me up. When I was very sick she stepped up and ran my businesses. She is why I am a success. She taught me how to love with her example.

-I need her to be a great mother. And again she is. We home school and while we are enlisted with an online school to prepare a bulk of the course work, my wife is constantly finding additional lessons to supplement his studies. She always makes time for him, and well me. She is a great mother.

-I need her to keep me in check. And she tries. I can be a handful always starting a new project. She does her best to keep me grounded.  

-I need her to hold me and she does. It is amazing how you can have had a horrid day and you get home and she greats me at the door and just hugs me and thing feel better. When I was suffering from cancer scared at time she  would just hold me and I knew things would be OK despite what sometime the doctors was saying.  

-I need her encouragement. And she gives it to me. She is my biggest cheerleader. I am a lucky man.

-I need her to make love to me. And she does. A lot. She is quite kinky and has opened my eyes to lots of fun activities. She lets me play with you ladies but I don't need to. She still does it for me.

That is what I need from her. She makes her own money but it isn't needed. I make more than enough. If I provided all the money she wouldn't be just a sex toy. She is the reason I am who I am today. I love her. She is my lover, my partner and the best damn thing that has ever happened to me. She could never be a kept woman in my eyes. She brings far more valuable things to the table. Things I can't replace with money.  

As for what I do for my wife and how am I supporting her and her dreams?

I respect her. And I show it to her. I let her go back to this lifestyle because it made her happy. I listen to her. She is involved in all budgetary issues. I let her know how I feel. I leave little thank you notes where I know she will find them. I have flowers delivered just because she likes them. I still date her like before we were married just the two of us. I make time for her. I hold her when she needs it. I support her in her charity work. I make time for her. I try to make her proud I am her man. I lost 121 lb so I can be there for her and our son. Most of all I love her and I say it and mean it. I know I am far from the perfect husband and man but I do try to put her and our son first. She is the best thing that ever happened to me.  

As for the balance, be you. Always be involved in something outside of the home. Love your man, live for him like I do for my wife and my wife me but always have something outside of the home that challenges you and helps you grow. Both my wife and I do. If the guy has the money it need not always produce an income but it must be important to you. But no one person can meet all of someone else's needs.

lots of advice that would help others- both in this business and in civvie relationships.

I hope you understand just how lucky you are, because most men, myself included can't wait to get away from their wives or SO.

Some of my coworkers and I had a small cocktail gathering after work yesterday and one of the guys couldn't stop bitching about his wife, even after we attempted to change the subject a few times. I finally interrupted him to tell him I had the solution for him, get divorced. I mean fuck, if you're that damn unhappy that all you can do is bitch about your wife, then get the fuck out!

I thought a good description of an ideal relationship between spouses was beyond the scope of this board, but you have shown that it is possible.

Excellent post Scoed

Ok, I will avoid a 'War & Peace'-like response, lol, and summarize based upon your last question.

First, I believe that every person has an innate dignity that can not be destroyed by another, or by conventions of society, no matter the time period in question.  

So a woman, whether 'kept', coddled, pampered, independent, or ignored, has dignity.  

- That dignity is not dependent upon how well she is dressed, or the baubles and accoutrements she has been given or accumulated.
- That dignity is not dependent upon how far in her education she has been allowed to, or chosen to, pursue.
- And that dignity is not dependent upon the genetic 'code' that she was born with. (Meaning, one race is not more innately dignified than another.)

Having said that, "What do you want from your woman?"  ?

Life is short, passing quickly. I want a woman who is engaged with life. Who desires to explore life and its many possibilities, as best she can as her free time and 'means' allows. Someone who at least yearly seeks to add a substantial experience, learning, skill set, hobby (in the non-TER sense). This may be through book-learning, being mentored, courses, and the like.

Bottom line, what is she doing to expand what makes her interesting to others?

One of the things we have really lost in our 'connected' society is depth. With the world 'at our fingertips', we have actually become more shallow. Twitter, Instagram, texting and the like have not in the general senses improved discourse. Just read books and letters from folks 100+ years ago, and it is apparent that there was more mental engagement.

Since I believe that the sexiest organ is the brain, I desire a woman who works to expand that potential in all its forms. It is really endless and boredom never need enter the picture.

Does she fritter away her potential, or embrace it and pursue it? That is most desirable

If you don’t find it quickly.  

Self reflection 5 minutes a day will certainly help.

Some call it meditation.

Did you read that in a fortune cookie?
In 1957?

It is a quote from the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who pre-dates your fortune cookie by about 200 years.

I read it.
Three times.
ZING!
Right over my little piglet head
If it ain't a dirty limerick, I lose interest.
:D

There once was a lass from Aberystwyth*,
Took some grain to the mill to make grist with.
The Miller's son Jack laid her flat on her back,
and united the things that they pissed with.

*there really is a city in Wales by this name,
pronounced Abber-ist-with.

Of course, my favorite is well known:

There once was a man from Nantucket,
had a dick so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!"

Hey Dad,
They pulled the post where I said hi. So.. Hi!

Is someone fucking with you? TheHound will drive cross country, and start throwing flaming bags of dog shit if you need.
Just sayin'

My most recent ex once gave me a beautiful copy of "Moby Dick," and wrote inside it: "To the REAL Man From Nantucket."
And, man could she suck it.
One of my porn names is Dick Moby.

often demonstrate amazing levels of fidelity/loyalty/devotion when their wealthy spouse is terminally ill.  

  Who says friendship, love and devotion can't be bought? :D

and have always stressed to them the importance of not ever having to depend on a man.   No disrespect at all to the men out there, but in today's world, as in any age, women should have the knowledge, education, and ability to take care of themselves if need be.  

Even after paying for their education, how my girls do that is their own choice to make.  Whatever path they choose I will respect it and fully support them in that decision.   If they decide to become a "kept woman" or an escort, I would have to understand and support that as well; and I think Mom would too.   The American Dream is to be able to "be ourselves", and to become whatever our visions can make us.

I hope that any young woman, if or when she desires to move on and away from a particular lifestyle, is prepared and has the capability to do so.

-- Modified on 7/3/2015 9:31:21 AM

It is a man made concept to control and make others think the way they do and everyone’s life difficult. Life has only one simple rule:

“Don’t do to others what you will not do to yourself”.

“Money is not the be all and end all of all things”

Do not hurt anyone, intentionally or unintentionally

Do not carry grudges and take revenge, it is meaningless and hurts you more than another

Let others live their lives as they fit and don’t force your beliefs and thinking on them

Do not lie, Truth is a lot simpler.

Do not cheat

Most importantly, be your own. As long as you abide by the above, no one have anything to say. Other will have strong opinions but you can safely ignore ignorance

As our marriage deteriorated, I was traveling professionally and met a lot of independent educated accomplished women and developed a number of very long term friendships with benefits. It was also a time when more and more strong academic and administrative physicians were women.  I spent almost my whole career in medical schools and I dealt with women who had reached positions of importance in academic medicine.
My wife and I split.  She remarried a very wealthy man and was able to have the life of wealthy and socially influential kept woman hood.  
I dated accomplished and bright women:business women, lawyers, professors, physicians. (For a while a domme who trained younger women as domes and subs and who had a great service.--we are still friends and she was hounded out of the business and is now happily married and comfortably retired)
My second marriage, much happier, was to a very accomplished woman.  
It turns out independence, intelligence, confidence in a woman is most attractive to me.  
Interestingly, that is the feeling I get from most of the providers I have had the pleasure of meeting.  It is one of the things I find appealing about them.

in fact, the last 3 men I dated/married insisted on a woman who was totally independent. Most guys today want a woman who wants him, but does not need him. There is no bigger turn off than a needy person... male or female. Generally, only insecure men insist on a woman who can't live without them because it gives them the power to do and treat her as they please. It's one step away from being a hooker, and I prefer to be a whore on my own terms.

Bob.Sugar545 reads

There's a saying that comes to mind:

"Behind every great man is a woman telling him that he's wrong"

I think that would apply to the beginning of time.

People have always had their own personalities.  Some men like to be pansies.  Some women like to be subservient.  And everything in between.

What you have on boards like this are posters that see only their opinion.  And if others don't agree with that opinion...we get the trainwrecks  LOL

Posted By: London Rayne
in fact, the last 3 men I dated/married insisted on a woman who was totally independent. Most guys today want a woman who wants him, but does not need him. There is no bigger turn off than a needy person... male or female. Generally, only insecure men insist on a woman who can't live without them because it gives them the power to do and treat her as they please. It's one step away from being a hooker, and I prefer to be a whore on my own terms.

GaGambler431 reads

An SO that depends on a man to "take care of her" is really no more than a sugar baby. Once the sugar bowl is empty, she will be gone without even stopping to lick the bowl.

It's one of the reasons I like dating hookers. Most hookers have plenty of their own money, usually have very few hangups about sex, and are the most likely to "understand" a whoremonger like me.

The other thing that has always befuddled me is guys who turn over all of their finances to their non working wife who brings no money into the household. The only smart thing I did when I was married was keep complete control over the check book, I still got screwed, but the screwing would have been a thousand times worse if she had had control over our finances.

The other thing is, if you have a "kept" woman, whether a wife or a GF, you never know if she is there just for a meal ticket or if her feelings are genuine. Like I have said a thousand times, it's so much easier with a hooker, if she stops charging you, her feeling are genuine. lol

Posted By: London Rayne
in fact, the last 3 men I dated/married insisted on a woman who was totally independent. Most guys today want a woman who wants him, but does not need him. There is no bigger turn off than a needy person... male or female. Generally, only insecure men insist on a woman who can't live without them because it gives them the power to do and treat her as they please. It's one step away from being a hooker, and I prefer to be a whore on my own terms.

Bob.Sugar654 reads

Being "kept" rarely is a sex issue.  I guess you haven't noticed how many of the men here need, crave, desire more.  Not sure why they're here looking for that...but they are.

I can attest that the majority of people are "kept".  There are so many out there that find someone, something that works for them...and that's no issue for the rest of "us".  But explain how or why a parent would continue to "support" a grown child.  I can't tell you how often I've come across that, but it seems an epidemic.  Maybe I was just less aware of how prevalent it was earlier in my life...but it sure is crystal clear now.

Sex is easy.  People give it away because they simply enjoy it.  Paying someone to be a concubine is a short-term deal.  There's never a shortage of whores.

But finding people who want to take care of others...and actually give a shit about them...priceless.

Posted By: GaGambler
An SO that depends on a man to "take care of her" is really no more than a sugar baby. Once the sugar bowl is empty, she will be gone without even stopping to lick the bowl.  
   
 It's one of the reasons I like dating hookers. Most hookers have plenty of their own money, usually have very few hangups about sex, and are the most likely to "understand" a whoremonger like me.  
   
 The other thing that has always befuddled me is guys who turn over all of their finances to their non working wife who brings no money into the household. The only smart thing I did when I was married was keep complete control over the check book, I still got screwed, but the screwing would have been a thousand times worse if she had had control over our finances.  
   
 The other thing is, if you have a "kept" woman, whether a wife or a GF, you never know if she is there just for a meal ticket or if her feelings are genuine. Like I have said a thousand times, it's so much easier with a hooker, if she stops charging you, her feeling are genuine. lol  
   
Posted By: London Rayne
in fact, the last 3 men I dated/married insisted on a woman who was totally independent. Most guys today want a woman who wants him, but does not need him. There is no bigger turn off than a needy person... male or female. Generally, only insecure men insist on a woman who can't live without them because it gives them the power to do and treat her as they please. It's one step away from being a hooker, and I prefer to be a whore on my own terms.

GaGambler394 reads

At middle age, if you are living in the same household as your parent/s, it should be them having to move in with you, not the other way around.

I hate to make this political, but there is a huge movement in this country to destroy individualism and move us towards a "collective" type of mentality. To me this signals a bunch a people who played the game of life, found it too hard, and now want to change the rules in the middle of the game.  

I will agree that being kept, while it might start out as a "sex thing" if it lasts it ceases to have much to do with sex, which of course explains all the cheating husbands we find here.

Personally I don't want to "keep" anybody in a "real" relationship, I will however "keep" an occasional woman on a "short term lease" but I never delude myself that it is real unless and until the money is removed from the equation.

I couldn't agree with you more about this.  In the relationships I've been in, I would rather she maintain a level of independence for herself.  Just in the same way I want that same level of being independent for myself.  

The only part that really matters is as a couple that you share the same wants, hopes and dreams.  If you're not on the same page about life, it just won't last.

And now I know more  
Thank you.
I read with big attention all what you have said ladies and gentlemen.  

Your answers was not on too much contradiction  with my feelings  about and my knowledge of the life-  
gentlemen rather will have independent woman then kept  and both parties would love keep their independence.

How you feel about helping her to achieve her dreams beyond of being your support and mother of your kids and make you feel good ..that  still has to be answered:)

Thanks everybody.

 
P.S Of course I do know our men need way more then women ..95% women simply can be happy with kids and with secure life and with man.
 So man needs always way more then woman .. (as matter of the fact  it is men have dogs nature is loyal and carves for love more then any woman - woman as long as she has kids - she be fine) and man in order  to create he needs woman love as air to breath , as food to at .. not just sex.
Man depended on woman approval.  and her love  ..
Most beautiful worlds of art were creating by MEN and for women:)
 And it is why we love you our gentlemen:)
Amazing posts generally .. thank you



-- Modified on 7/3/2015 10:06:29 AM

Whatever that entails then that's what should be supported. I'm sick and tired of this male/female dynamic bullshit. Just Be Free. If your partner doesn't support that whether you are a woman or man, keep it moving even if it's hard to. Relationships take some give and take for sure but someone's wishes/desires should never be denied in a relationship. Within reason of course. I mean if you want to go and murder someone, hell nah, I'm not supporting that. Lol. Some women love being "kept" and some/many do not. Sometimes it changes and communication with your partner is very important so that if it changes, it can be discussed, acknowledged and Supported.

This doesn't cover all of your message but just had to say this little bit. Just BE FREE and demand for yourself someone who feels the fucking same way. Period. No one is anyone elses damn father nor mother. Be Free or regret it once them final minutes come before you DIE!!!!

Do You without hurting others and be strong in your convictions. Needing validation is for the weak and the lost! Not saying you are one who needs validation. I'm just saying.

-- Modified on 7/3/2015 12:08:33 PM

And I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to live in a cage. I even avoid zoos because it saddens me to see others live in a cage. So my answer would be that I choose my freedom no matter how much that costs me. And I would wither and die with access to only one penis. :(

I think your description of loving to be prepared for entertaining a man sexually: high heels, groomed from top to bottom, etc., is not incompatible with the freedom I desire. I am a very part-time companion, and my preference is longer engagements- dinner dates, overnights, etc.- because the ritual I observe with each engagement (no matter the length of the engagement) is an all-day thing. I wake up on the morning of my engagement with my prospective lover on my mind, and my whole day is centered around preparation for our meeting like it is some sacred thing I am about to do (because in many ways, I feel it is). I relish my day of anticipation; I revel in my preparation. From selecting the perfect dress and lingerie and making any purchases related to the engagement, to getting my mani and pedi done, to bathing, dressing, and doing my makeup and hair, I am immersed in thinking about our meeting. My focus is completely on joyously throwing myself into receiving my friend and being fully there for him (or her, or them). Even the perfume I reserve for my Sarah life is part of the ritual- that last little spritz actually gets me a little aroused. Whenever I smell that scent when out and about, it has the same effect- thrusting my psyche at light speed into a "Sarah" headspace- which has the effect of sending a tingle to my groin. This sublime bodily reaction to my perfume (and the joy with which I perform my preparation ritual) would cease if I were to see the same person every day. My very freedom [to pursue my life as a companion] cultivates and nurtures my excitement to be sexually and intellectually available to someone who desires my company. Constrain that in any way, and you'll sap the life out of me.  

My inner fire comes from being available to many but owned by none.

I wonder if In golden cage - if it is possible to be truly free so to sing my own songs?
Why imperator become furious when she declined his offer.. all what he needed - just her songs..
No matter if she be in cage or take or not his presents.. she be singing for him HER songs .. all he need to offer her was just care about WHAT she feels and what she is needed to be able sang her songs..
 OO If I only would meet man as NOT this imperator....

 
http://phoebesong.com/2014/05/28/the-emperor-and-the-nightingale-an-ancient-chinese-tale/

-- Modified on 7/4/2015 11:18:35 PM

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