my reply is usually, 'sex would be nice'. And that's a question I'd never ask a lady. I'm pretty sure one is going to find out along the journey. The fun is in the exploration, discovery, and surprise. It's fun when you've seen each other many many times, and you're still making discoveries.
I'm often asked in a session what I would like, and I never quite know how to answer that. The question makes me a bit uncomfortable for a couple of reasons.
The main reason is that I'm naturally very submissive intimately and it's pretty tough at times for me to speak up, and to say what I'd like and how. I'm just not used to being in such a "dominant" position.
The second reason is that I don't know what their boundaries are or how my request will be received. If I say I like rimming, or oral sex, or toys and they're not into that, it could make things pretty awkward for the both of us. They'd have to turn me down and gosh, I'd feel so silly that I mentioned it.
Generally, when I'm asked I'll try to give a fairly neutral response. Most times I'll say I like massages. If I'm feeling comfortable with them, I'll say that I like fingering, which I do, and I don't think most people find that objectionable.
If you're the asker, what response are you expecting, and what responses are you comfortable with?
If you're the asked, what do you usually say? How do you handle that question?
I'd love advice and suggestions for my specific situation as well. Thanks guys and ladies.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.
In my (limited experience) most women are like you and prefer to be "led" rather than be asked directly.
Knowing how to use fingertips and the tip of the tongue can bring many rewards 
I stopped asking a long time ago...
Happy hobbying!
There are just some thing you had better ask before doing...fingers in the ass, fingers in the vagina (not all women like this and not all men are even remotely good at it), hair pulling, spanking, anything rough unless she asks for it harder.
I am one hooker who is not afraid to say don;t do that if I don't like it. If I am asked that question I go for the massage every time...nothing feels better than a good massage because I can't give one to myself but I can give myself an outstanding orgasm.
I think that pretty accurately describes what I'm most comfortable with. Now, I don't want to be led to things that I don't enjoy lol.. but it's much easier for me to stay that I don't like a particular act than that I do. Does that make sense?
Most people weather providers or hobbyists fall into 2 categories ( givers and receivers ). I think when hobbyists are asking you what you like, either they are genuine givers or they want to get off on hearing you O ( that makes them feel like a hero ). In your case " I want a massage doesn't really fit the bill ". You said you like fingering that could be a good start, or daty, dato. You can give him instructions on how to really get yourself off. Or you can tell them something and then just pretend to O....
I can have an orgasm if you lick and kiss my back (back, butt, legs) just right. Except for my inner thighs, there is nowhere else that I am so sensitive. Of course, massage and what I am seeking are two different things.
Why does that not fit the bill? So what you're saying it has to be of a sexual nature to make the john feel good about himself?
I pretend to orgasm if it is for him...so now I gotta do it twice...sheesh? LOL Nah, if they ask, I get massaged.
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Seriously. I do ask them if it's ok though. I don't assume just Bc its for them. Not all but damn sure many many. Depends on if I feel inspired! Whatever that means. Lol.
Haven't had one turn it down yet. Shocking I know. However, the look on a few were priceless. Lol. Like dayum, I know the type of clients Youve grown to be use to! Lol. Hey, that's about all I got extra in me though. Outside the usuals. Lol. I enjoy it. Especially on a body I find delicious. Ha. Yep, knew there had to be some self-centered motivation involved.
I am afraid her answer won't be "I want to suck you dry" and that it might be something like "give me a massage" Or in a Peg Bundy voice, "rub my feet" No thank you, I save that for women I am not paying, unless we are on a VERY extended date.
Because I don't give a fk if you do or don't. Now don't get me wrong, I won't be pissed if you get off, but it isn't a goal of mine.
That won't stop the softer johns from trying to send you to heaven. But then again, many of them end up giving ME the Godiva's. To be honest, they give them to the two hookers I see regularly and then THEY give them to me.
Don't these dopey johns know that hookers are always dieting? LOL
Me, you might ask? No time for that nonsense. But guys keep those $50 a box candies coming. I love those fkkers! And the fact that they are free...well...just icing on the cake. Lol
or I'd be truly screwed eating rabbit food! Not a sweet lover here though. Maybe eat that sort four times a year. My Doctor would pass out if he knew what I have been eating in Chicago recently lol.
I am from the Moo-moo state so I get to eat like that ha ha. Don't you worry, Ms Alexandra is going through ho-bootcamp next month and will severely hate it but ,oh well, I have incentive.
I signed up and will maybe get a punch card for this crap? Like every so many days I get a freebie?
That won't stop the softer johns from trying to send you to heaven. But then again, many of them end up giving ME the Godiva's. To be honest, they give them to the two hookers I see regularly and then THEY give them to me.
Don't these dopey johns know that hookers are always dieting? LOL
Me, you might ask? No time for that nonsense. But guys keep those $50 a box candies coming. I love those fkkers! And the fact that they are free...well...just icing on the cake. Lol
I really hate it when they are too weak to hold up their bulk and I get to breath out of about 30% of my lung capacity.
Told one guy to put the weight on his arms or get off me. Suffocation is not on the menu.
Since you have told me many times I am too old for you. So it really is a moot point. But for shits and giggles if I could have the TV on to occupy my time while you "do your thing", that way won't be too bored. LOL
And I think that's a large part of my problem. Saying I like daty or dato makes me feel awkward, even if I know the other person really does want to please me. I think a lot of "hobbyists", many of the ones I've spent time with in particular, are genuine givers and I think that's so great, I think I need to be more receptive to that.
No words are needed and things flow naturally. I don't usually ask and will just let the moment happen. I find it enjoyable to take the lead and see where things go. I'll take your reactions as a guide.
I find it awkward when I'm asked. I'm never comfortable with it.
I've honestly never asked a provider that question before, at least not directly. I am usually aware what is offered whether it be some massage, just a BBBJ or GFE. If I am unsure I will politely ask her what is off limits.
On the other hand. If she asks ME what I'd like I usually tell her I'd like to try "a little of everything." If there isn't enough time for everything then we improvise. If I'm with one if my regular providers either one of us may ask " hey what do you want to try......." or "the other night was hott. Lets do that again..."
I think it has a lot to do with the situation and co gift level if each person
D.
I never know what they like, so like Taylor, I don't want to say something they don't enjoy doing. What I usually say is that if I listed it as a "like" on my website, then that's what I would like. I tell them that they aren't required to partake in all my likes but they are there if they like to do them too.
I just ask her outright. No indirect questions. If you're nice to a provider on the first meeting, then she'll be more willing to do what you want. On subsequent visits, she'll do pretty much whatever you want. Well that's been my experience.
As a hobbyist who often prefers more assertive ladies, sometimes I feel a bit awkward too when I see a new provider for the first time and she asks me that same question, "what do you like?". I usually say pretty much "everything", since I'm always open to trying new things. LOL
If I ask a provider that question, I don't mind if she gives an honest answer. I would rather know up front what she likes/dislikes, rather than doing something that she's not comfortable with.
Just be open and honest. Communication is the key to a good session.
Personally, it's extremely important to me that my partner(s) in bed are at least comfortable, and preferably, enjoying the experience as well. I try not to ask, since this shouldn't need to be. Just relax and enjoy, and go with the flow...
If you are having a good vibe with a guy and he asks this question - then tell him. I don't think I've ever asked this open-ended question, but would have no problem with an honest answer if I did. And if I'm into what she likes, then great. But if not, then we'd just find something else fun to do.
my reply is usually, 'sex would be nice'. And that's a question I'd never ask a lady. I'm pretty sure one is going to find out along the journey. The fun is in the exploration, discovery, and surprise. It's fun when you've seen each other many many times, and you're still making discoveries.
but as you imply, it more often than not led to confusion at best, and sometimes conflict.
So now I just tell the gal what I like, and since I carefully review what she does first, I make sure it is all kosher, and things work out swell