Ah, my friend, it must be your profession that permits you to come up with these!
Ted

What Women Really Want

1. Cute Guys
2. With Brains
3. and a Porsche
4. A best friend to confide in
5. A friend that weighs more than her
6. A faithful husband
7. Never getting married
8. A great body
9. A great body without aerobics
10. Honest politicians
11. Shoes that fit the 1st time in stores
12. Wardrobe accessories that match when you get them home
13. A better job than most guys
14. Shopping without the guilt
15. Air bags in cars
16. A dishwasher
17. Never having to do the dishes
18. Recipes that always work
19. Eating without gaining weight
20. Healthy kids
21. Healthy kids that behave
22. In-laws in distant states
23. Unlimited credit cards
24. Hose without runs
25. A relationship
26. Commitment
27. No relationship
28. No commitment
29. A sale in every store
30. Someone to take out the trash
31. Hors d'oeuvres
32. A great home,
33. Cleaned by someone else
34. Stations that pump gas for you
35. Great skin
36. Great skin without working at it
37. A guy who doesn't snore
38. Traveling
39. Not traveling
40. Looking great in a swimsuit
41. Not trying on swim suits
42. Peace
43. No more lint
44. Diamonds
45. More diamonds
46. Waterford
47. more Waterford
48. Clean air
49. A great wardrobe
50. A great wardrobe that always fits
51. Looking good in every hairstyle
52. Keeping secrets
53. Telling secrets
54. Cars that don't break down
55. A hunk mechanic when they do
56. Knowing more about sports than the guys
57. Romantic movies
58. Movies with happy endings
59. A guy who dances
60. Free telephones
61. No calorie pizza
62. A guy who's not afraid to cry
63. Chasing butterflies with the kids
64. Revenge
65. Knowing all the good gossip
66. Being a Mom
67. A day off from being a Mom
68. Giving birth
69. Men giving birth
70. Respect
71. Not having to shave
72. Teddy bears
73. Hearing someone great sing the Star Spangled Banner
74. Great seats at the Symphony
75. Clean sheets
76. Being messy if I want to
77. Pets who don't shed
78. Bowling without being laughed at
79. Togetherness
80. Space
81. Poetry
82. Rock and Roll
83. Forgiving
84. Holding a grudge
85. Winning the lottery
86. Sharing the wealth
87. Guys in tuxedos
88. Female role models
89. An early morning jog
90. Sleeping late
91. Sunsets over water
92. Junk Food
93. The scent of roses
94. Killer perfume
95. No maintenance manicures
96. Big screen movies
97. Mushy greeting cards
98. A good laugh
99. A good cry
100. Height without tight heels
101. Only people you like on the answering machine
102. World domination
103. A lot of friends
104. Equality
105. Manipulation
106. Always winning
107. Being fair
108. Living in the country
109. Living in the city
110. Reading guys' minds
111. Reading womens' minds
112. Reading kids' minds
113. Car phones you don't have to hold on to
114. Simple things
115. Expensive things
116. Unbreakable garbage disposals
117. Free postage
118. All of the above
119. None of the above